The Ultimate Stonemage: A Modest Autobiography (37 page)

A Fifteenth Section Of The Eleventh Part

In Which I Describe My Second Triumphant Return To My Homeland And Events Concerning My Treasure

I returned to
Rowel, on
foot this time, two months after my spying expedition. When I told everyone about my adventures at the war, they held a great celebration in my honour which lasted for two full weeks and cost me a thousand arrans in food and drink.

Still, the expenses were nothing to me, for, as near as I could calculate, there was so much gold in my cave I could have spent
two hundred arrans a day
for the rest of my days, and I would still have enough left over for a grand funeral, and I could have done all this without doing another stroke of work, if I had been of a lazy disposition. As you will know by now, though, I am very active by nature, and easily bored by too much rest, so instead I used my hours productively, working on all manner of imaginative new designs for buildings of all sorts.

I also made plans for a new house for myself, since none of the houses in Rowel suited my new station in life. The house was to be round, with a high wall around it, and a tall tower in its centre which I intended to use for an observatory. I made meticulous drawings of the building and invented a host of novel features.

In the meantime, I lived with my father, my brother and his family in the old home, sleeping at night in the bedroom that we boys had occupied when we were young. Thanks to my great wealth, we lived like princes, with all sorts of exotic food and drink. One night it was spicy udder drenched in orange juice, the next it was tower-of-beef, the next it was mariner’s delight, which is to say fresh sea snake wrapped around a fat horsefish.

The money did not give me any worries either, despite what they say about a rich man’s hair, for I had twelve good myrmidons protecting my fortune in a safe place. I knew I would never be at risk from common thieves, and I imagined I would be wealthy forever.

What I did not realize was that when you have such vast sums as I had, it is not the common thieves who are the danger. Rather, it is the noble thieves. A common thief, after all, may take your purse, but a noble thief will try to take all you have. And when I say a noble thief, I do not mean an arrogant prig who wears a colourful coat and walks the street with an ivory stick, but the kind who lives in a castle and has a fine title to his name.

I had not been back in Rowel long before
Luro, the new Duke of Oaster, came to visit me. Luro was the only son of the old duke,
Huriband. He had been but a child when I worked for the duke, and I barely remembered him (I chiefly had eyes for his older sisters!) but looking at him now I could see he resembled his father in appearance, although his hair was lighter.

I was honoured by the visit, of course, and I made sure the duke was made very welcome at our house. I insisted he stay with us there for the night, and I gave him my father’s room to sleep in, which is a good large one, with a fine view of the vegetable garden. We placed rabbit cages in there too, for the breeding of rabbits was my father’s livelihood, and he was so proud of his animals he wanted the duke to be able to see them as he lay in bed.

The duke had brought several advisors with him, and I put them into my brother’s room, which is as good a room as any you will find in a king’s palace, for it had a water basin set right into the wall. The bed is so large that four might easily share it, which meant there was plenty of room for the three of them. As for my brother, he shared my room, with me upon the bed and him on the floor with his wife, while my father slept in the kitchen with the two children.

I spent great sums of gold on the very best foods for my noble guest. To impress him further, I brought some of my treasure into the house and set it about the dining room. I had nailed a gold chain over the fireplace, and hung an American gold-and-silver shield upon the wall, and I had also scattered coins all over the floor, so the tiles chinked as you walked upon them. Everywhere was gold and jewels, and it looked very lovely, you may be sure.

The first evening was most cordial, and my father was delighted to have such rich company. Unlike me, you see, he was not used to meeting with noble persons, and he could hardly believe his good fortune in having one as a guest under his own roof.

The next day, I showed the duke around our neighbourhood, taking him to the places where I used to play as a child, and telling him entertaining stories of my youthful misadventures. I took him up to the caves, too, where all that gold was piled up. Even if you were standing in the town square, you could often see it shining as brightly as the sun itself, with my myrmidons standing bravely around it.

The duke was impressed by everything he saw, and he talked to me as if we were old friends, although in fact he had been but a young lad when I had worked for his father. Still, all was not quite right to me, and it struck me that, while the duke Luro was very much like the old duke, still there was something about him which did not seem quite so noble.

In the evening—which is to say, the second evening the duke was with us—we all sat down to dinner together, eating duck and octopus and all manner of good things, and talking about this and that.

The duke asked me a little about my adventures, and I told the tales as well as I was able, which is to say, exceedingly well. Then he said, “So, then, now you are a man of wealth and power. How do you plan to put your gold to work for the good of all?”

I said, “What do you mean by that? You may ask anyone in this town and you will find I am charitable enough with my money. All the merchants hereabout have gained business from me.”

He said, “No, that is not my meaning. Such wealth as you have is not for free spending. Rather it carries with it many responsibilities. It must be used wisely.”

I said, “Well, I do not think I have ever been one to spend money foolishly: I am always careful to buy only the things I like, and I never purchase things I hate or despise. But perhaps you would like to give me some advice.”

He said, “Indeed I would. I will speak plainly, my friend: it is not right or proper that a man like you, without noble rank, should have such treasure for yourself. I would like you to give this gold to me. I am in a much better position to use it wisely than you are. Moreover, you may rest assured that I will look well upon you for the gift.”

Well, this was such a shock to me that I barely knew what to say. Still, I have a quick mind, so I said, “A gift is like a compliment. I do not believe in grandiose compliments, for such words do not come from the heart. In the same way, such a lavish gift would not show my respect for you, duke, because respect is not measured in gold, but in love and in blood.” Then I picked up a beautiful little pearl which was sitting in a box of treasures upon the table, and I gave this to the duke, saying, “Let me give you instead this gift, which is smaller in size, it is true, but shows a more sincere, heartfelt love.”

He took the pearl, and looked at it, but he did not seem to relish the gift, or the great love and loyalty which it represented. Then he placed the pearl back in the treasure box it had come from, as if to spurn my offering, which is certainly something the old duke would never have done.

He said, “Remember this, Yreth. I am the duke of this region, and I have the duty of protecting those within my lands. This, as you may suppose, is a considerable expense. When these expenses are not paid for, the degree of protection afforded must quite naturally suffer.”

I pretended I did not understand his threat, and I said, “Oh, you need not fear for me on that account: I have twelve good myrmidons of my own, and I have set them to guard over my treasure.”

He became sour then, and said, “Tell me now, will you give me the gold or no?”

I knew I would have to appease him, so I said, “Duke, I served your father when I was young. He was an excellent lord, and he treated me well. In return, I loved him and gave him everything it was in my power to give, for I believed I owed him no less. But now he is dead, and you are the duke, and I swear, by my father who sits at this table, that I will give you all I owe you. Tomorrow morning, you may go to the caves up in the hills and help yourself to all the gold there.”

The duke was pleased then, and we continued our feast in good spirits. You see, he took my words to mean I would give him all my gold, but in fact I had said only that he could take all the gold he found in the caves the next morning, and I vowed to myself that, when sunrise came, not a single coin should remain there.

We continued to dine for some hours, until, at length, the food and the wine and the lateness of the hour had got the better of everyone, and we were all ready for bed.

But although I dressed for bed, and lay beneath the sheets, I did not allow myself to slumber. Instead, I waited quietly for an hour or so, until I was sure everybody else in the house was sleeping. Then I silently rose again, and I crept out of the house and went up into the hills.

When I reached the caves, I told my myrmidons to take all my great wealth of gold and jewels and pack it back in its chests and boxes, then bring it all to the western crossroad. While they did this, I gathered all the treasure I had laid about the dining room and placed it in a sack, then I carried the sack to the crossroad too.

It took many trips to carry all my wealth from those caves, for there was far too much of it to manage it one go. While the gold was being moved, I sent one of the myrmidons to scout around the local farms looking for donkeys. We rounded up about thirty of these animals, leaving gold coins behind to pay a fair price for them.

You may think, “Donkeys? Why did Yreth not use ox-carts, as he had done in America?”

Well, I would very gladly have used ox-carts, if there had been any. However, those who have been to the
Horn of Cyprus will know it is a dry, rocky place, and oxen do not like the grass that grows there. So, donkeys it was, and they were good enough, because they are strong animals, for all their small size, and each one carried a good weight of gold.

Before I left, I had second thoughts about my plan to leave the cave completely empty, for I knew the duke, in his greed, would think I was like him and cared only for wealth, whereas I wished to show him there were higher principles at issue here.

So here is what I did: I took another pearl from my treasure. It was small and pretty, and it looked very much like the one I had given to the duke. In fact, it may even have been the same one for all I know. I took that pearl, and I went back to the cave, which was now entirely empty, then took a sheet of purple silk, which I placed upon a big rock there, and I placed the pearl on top of the silk, so the duke would be sure to see it when he went there the next morning.

I knew when he saw this pearl, he would be racked with guilt and anguish, for he would see I had given him what I owed him, which is to say a token of my loyalty and devotion, despite the fact he had overstepped the limits of his authority by trying to steal from me, and take what was rightfully mine.

I had already decided exactly where to go with my donkeys: I travelled east, to the royal palace of the
queen, which is to say, the fortress at
Ithron. I reasoned that, if I were under her protection, I would have nothing to fear from the
Duke of Oaster if he were still angry at me, and my gold would be safe from his greed.

The journey took about two weeks, and we were waylaid by robbers only once. They attacked us on a remote stretch of road, sending arrows down at us. One of my donkeys was killed by an arrow, and another was slightly wounded. Then the robbers came running down the hills waving swords and shouting and doubtless thinking they looked a fearsome sight. I kept a cool head though, and waited until they were very close before I gave my myrmidons the order to charge. Then my strong friends went to it with a will, furiously repulsing the attack, and killing at least six of the robbers before those rascals finally saw what kind of opponent they were up against and fled in terror.

At last we arrived at the royal fortress, which is very magnificent to behold, and every bit as grand as it appears in the paintings. I found the man who commanded the gate-guards, informing him I wished to see the queen.

He said, “That is not possible. Nobody may see the queen except for those she has summoned before her.”

Then I opened one of my treasure boxes and took out a large topaz, and also a lovely ruby which had been carved into a cheerful face. I said to him, “Take this ruby to the queen and tell her it is a gift from the stonemage Yreth, who begs to appear before her. As for the topaz, you may keep that for yourself, in payment for your help.”

Well, his tone changed instantly. He bowed to me and went quickly off to deliver the message. He returned just a few minutes later, and he said, “The queen asks if you are the same Yreth who owns a mountain filled with gold.”

Well, I did not own a mountain filled with gold, but I had owned a cave filled with gold, and I know well enough how the rumourmongers will see a cow and say a herd, so I said, “Yes, I am the same Yreth.”

Then he said, “In that case, I am instructed to take you before her with the greatest cordiality.” Then he led me into the palace. I left the donkeys, together with my myrmidons, in one of the interior courtyards, where there was plenty of good green grass for them to chew on. As for me, I went into the throne room and I met with the new queen.

The queen was not at all as I had expected. In the first place, she was young, having seen no more than twenty years. Her clothes were very grand, of course, but her skin was as brown as a nut, and she sat on her throne in an undignified way, with one foot on the seat and her knee up in front of her. I knew, when I saw this, that the story I had heard from the physician, telling of how she had been a hunter, was true.

I would not say she was beautiful to look at. In fact, to speak frankly, she was plain. Her lips were thin and pinched, her nose was large, and her ears stuck out a little, so you would almost think someone was pushing them from behind as a joke. Also, she was as skinny as a pole, and her breasts were small.