The Unconsoled (56 page)

I assumed it was the waiter returned with my coffee and gestured for him to place it before me. But the voice continued to call my name, and looking up I found Gustav regarding me with a concerned expression.

'Oh, hello,' I said.

'Good evening, sir. How are you? I thought it was you, but I wasn't sure so I came over. Are you all right, sir? We're all over there, all the boys, won't you come and join us? The boys would be so thrilled.'

I looked around me and saw I was sitting on the edge of a square. Although there was a single street lamp at its centre, the square was largely in darkness, so that the figures of the people moving across it appeared to be little more than shadows. Gustav was indicating to the opposite side where I could see another café, somewhat larger than the one I was now patronising, its open doorway and windows throwing out a warm light. Even at this distance, I could make out a lot of lively activity inside, and strains of fiddle music and laughter came drifting out to us through the evening. Only then did it dawn on me I was in fact sitting in the Old Town by the main square, looking over to the Hungarian Café. As I continued to glance about me, I could hear Gustav saying:

"The boys, sir, they've been making me tell them over and over again. About, you know, sir, what you said, about how you
agreed
. I'd already told them five, six times, but they wanted it all again. They'd barely stopped laughing and slapping each other about from the last time, but there they were again, saying: "Come on, Gustav, we know you haven't told us everything yet. What
exactly
did Mr Ryder say?"

"I've told you," I was saying to them. "I've told you. You know perfectly well." But they wanted to hear it all again and I dare say they'll want to hear it all several times more before the evening's out. Of course, sir, although I adopt this weary tone each time they ask, naturally, that's just for effect. In truth, of course, I'm every bit as thrilled as any of them and could happily repeat our conversation from this morning over and over. It's so good to see them wearing such expressions again. Your promise, sir, it's brought new hope, a new
youth
to their faces. Even Igor was smiling, laughing at some of the jokes! I can't remember when I last saw them like this. Oh yes, sir, I'd be very happy to go over it many more times yet. Whenever I get to that moment, when you said: "Very well, I'd be happy to say something on your behalf," whenever I get to that part, you should see them, sir! Cheering and laughing, slapping each other about, it's been so long since I've seen them like this. So there we were, sir, drinking our beers and talking about your great generosity, talking about how after all these years portering would change for ever after tonight, yes, while we were in the midst of saying all this I happened to look out and I saw you, sir. The proprietor, as you can see, he's left the door open. It gives the place a much better atmosphere, to be able to see right across the square as the night's coming in. Well, there I was looking across the square and I was thinking to myself: "I wonder who that poor soul is sitting by himself over there." But my eyes aren't so good, you see, and I wasn't aware it was actually you, sir. Then Karl, he said to me in a sort of whisper, he must have sensed it wouldn't be a good idea to say it out loud, he said to me: "I'm probably wrong, but isn't that Mr Ryder himself? Over there?" And then I looked again and thought, yes, that's possible. What on earth could he be doing out there in the cold and looking so sad? I'll go and see if it really is him. Let me say, sir, Karl was very discreet. None of the others heard what he said, so aside from him, they won't know why I've slipped out, though I dare say some of them might now be looking this way wondering what I'm up to. But really, sir, are you all right? You look like you've something on your mind.'

'Oh…' I gave a sigh and wiped my face. 'It's nothing. It's just that all this travelling, all this responsibility. Now and again it just gets…' I trailed off with a small laugh.

'But why sit out here like this by yourself, sir? It's a chilly evening, and in only your jacket. And this after my saying to you how welcome you'd be to join us whenever you wished at the Hungarian Café. Did you think you'd be welcomed with anything less than huge enthusiasm if you'd come over to us? Sitting out here on your own! Really, sir! Please come and join us without further delay. Then you can relax and enjoy yourself for a little while. Put all your worries out of your head. The boys will be overjoyed. Please.'

On the other side of the square, the glowing light in the doorway, the music, the laughter all certainly seemed inviting. I rose to my feet and wiped my face once more.

'That's it, sir. You'll feel better in no time.'

'Thank you. Thank you. Really, thank you.' I made an effort to control my emotions. 'I'm very grateful to you. Really. I just hope I won't be intruding.'

Gustav laughed. 'You'll see soon enough if you're intruding or not, sir.'

As we set off across the square, it occurred to me I had better prepare to present myself to the porters, who undoubtedly would be overwhelmed with gratitude and excitement at my appearance. I felt more in control with each step I took and was about to make some pleasant remark to Gustav when he suddenly stopped walking. He had kept his hand gently on my back as we had set off across the square and I felt his fingers, just for a second, clutch at the material of my jacket. I turned and saw in the shadowy light Gustav standing quite still, looking down towards the ground, a hand raised to his brow as though he had suddenly remembered something of importance. Then, before I could say anything, he was shaking his head and smiling selfconsciously.

'Excuse me, sir. I just… just…' He gave a small laugh and began to walk again.

'Is everything all right?'

'Oh yes, yes. You know, sir, the boys are going to be so thrilled when you walk in through that door.'

He moved a step or two ahead of me and led the way determinedly across the remainder of the square.

27

Only when I entered the café and felt the warmth of the log fire at the far end of the room did I realise how chilly the evening had become. The interior of the café had been re-arranged since the previous time I had stepped inside it. Most of the tables had been pushed back against the walls, so as to allow a large circular table to dominate the centre of the floor. Around this were a dozen or so men, drinking beers and carrying on boisterously. They looked somewhat younger than Gustav, though almost all were in late middle-age. A little way away from them, over near the café counter, two thin men in gypsy dress were playing a brisk waltz on their fiddles. There were other customers present, but they all seemed content to sit in the background, often in the shadowy recesses of the room, as though conscious of being present at someone else's event.

As Gustav and I came in, the porters all turned and stared, not certain whether to believe their eyes. Then Gustav said: 'Yes, boys, it really is him. He's come in person to wish us well.'

A complete hush fell over the café while everyone - the porters, the waiters, the musicians, the other customers - stared at me. Then the room broke into warm applause. For some reason this reception took me by surprise and almost brought the tears back to my eyes. I smiled, saying: 'Thank you, thank you,' while the applause continued so intensely I could barely hear myself. The porters had all risen to their feet and even the gypsy musicians had tucked their fiddles under their arms to join in the applause. Gustav ushered me towards the central table and as I sat down the applause finally subsided. The musicians resumed their playing and I found myself surrounded by a ring of excited faces. Gustav, who had seated himself next to me, began to say:

'Boys, Mr Ryder has been good enough to…'

Before he could finish, a stout porter with a red nose leaned over to me and raised his beer glass. 'Mr Ryder, you've saved us,' he declared. 'Now our story will be different. My grandchildren, they'll remember me differently. This is a great night for us.'

I was still smiling back at him when I felt a hand grasp my arm and found a gaunt, nervous-looking face staring into mine.

'Please, Mr Ryder,' the man said. 'Please, you'll really do it, won't you? You won't when the time comes, with all the other very important things on your mind, in front of all these people, you won't change your mind and…'

'Don't be so insolent,' someone else said and the nervous man vanished as though someone had pulled him back. Then I could hear a voice saying behind me: 'Of course he won't change his mind. Who do you think you're talking to?'

I turned in my seat, wishing to reassure the nervous man, but then someone else was shaking my hand saying:

"Thank you, Mr Ryder, thank you.'

'You're all very kind,' I said, smiling at the company in general. 'Though I… I really ought to warn you…'

At that moment someone pushed against me, almost knocking me into the person next to me. I heard someone apologising and someone else saying: 'Don't push like that!' Then another voice said, close to me: 'I thought that was you out there just now, sir. I'm the one who pointed you out to Gustav. It's so good of you to come and see us like this. Tonight will be a night we'll remember for ever. A turning point for every porter in the town.'

'Look, I have to warn you,' I said loudly. 'I'll do my very best for you, but I have to warn you, I may not be quite the influence I once was. You see…'

But my words were drowned out by a number of the porters starting up a chorus of 'hurrahs' for me. By the second one, the entire company of porters joined in, and then the music momentarily stopped as everyone else in the café joined in for the final, deafening hurrah. Then there was more applause.

'Thank you, thank you,' I said, genuinely moved. Then, as the applause began to fade, the red-nosed porter across the table said:

'You're very welcome here, sir. You're a famous and renowned person, but I want you to know we here know a good sort when we see one. That's right, we haven't spent so long in this trade without developing a good nose for decency. You're decent through and through, we can all see that. Decent and kind. You might think we're all welcoming you now simply because you're going to help us. And of course, we're grateful to you. But I know this crowd, they've really taken to you, and they wouldn't have done so if you weren't a decent sort. If you'd been too proud, or insincere in any way, they'd have sniffed you out. Oh yes. Of course, they'd still have felt grateful, they'd have treated you well, but they wouldn't be taking to you like this. What I'm trying to say, sir, is that even if you hadn't been famous, if you were just some stranger who'd stumbled in here by accident, once we'd seen you were all right, once you'd explained you were far from home and were looking for some company, we'd have welcomed you. We wouldn't have received you so differently from the way we did just now, once we'd seen what a good sort you were. Oh yes, we're not nearly so stand-offish here as people say. From now on, sir, you can count each of us as your friend.'

'That's right,' said someone to my right. 'We're your friends now. If you're ever in any difficulty in this town, you'll be able to rely on us.'

'Thank you so much,' I said. "Thank you. I'll do my best for you all tonight. But really, I have to warn you…'

'Sir, please.' It was Gustav talking gently near my ear. 'Please stop worrying. Everything will be fine. Why not enjoy yourself for a few minutes at least?'

'But I just wanted to warn these good friends of yours…'

'Really, sir,' Gustav went on quietly. 'Your dedication is admirable. But you worry too much. Please relax and enjoy yourself. Just for a few minutes. Look at us. All of us here have worries. I myself have to be off shortly to the concert hall again, back to all that work. But when we meet like this here, we're glad to be among friends and we forget about things. We unwind and enjoy ourselves.' Then Gustav raised his voice over the hubbub. 'Come on, let's show Mr Ryder how we
really
enjoy ourselves! Let's show him how we do it!'

This pronouncement was met by a cheer and another burst of applause, then the applause turned into rhythmic clapping all around the table. The gypsies began to play faster in time with the clapping, and some of the other customers looking on began also to clap. I noticed too people elsewhere in the room actually breaking off their conversations and turning their seats around as though to witness an eagerly awaited spectacle. Someone I supposed was the proprietor - a dark, lanky man - emerged from a back room and stood leaning on the door frame, evidently just as anxious not to miss what was to follow.

Meanwhile the porters kept up their clapping, becoming ever more mirthful, some of them thumping the floor with their feet to emphasise the beat. Then two waiters appeared and began hurriedly to clear the surface of the table. Beer glasses, coffee cups, sugar pots, ashtrays all vanished in an instant, and then one of the porters, a heavy bearded man, climbed up onto the table top. Behind his bushy beard his face was bright red, whether from embarrassment or from drinking I could not tell. In any case, once up on the table he seemed to have little inhibition and with a grin began to dance.

It was a curious, static dance, the feet hardly leaving the table surface, with the emphasis on the statuesque qualities of the human body rather than its agility or mobile grace. The bearded porter adopted a pose like some Greek god, his arms positioned as though carrying an invisible burden, and as the clapping and the shouts of encouragement continued, he would subtly change the angle of his hip or rotate himself slowly. I wondered for a moment if the whole thing was supposed to be comic, but for all the exuberant laughter around the table, it soon became clear there was no satiric intention in the performance. As I watched the bearded porter, someone nudged me and said:

"This is it, Mr Ryder. Our dance. The Porters' Dance. You've heard about it, I'm sure.'

'Yes,' I said. 'Ah yes. So this is the Porters' Dance.'