The Unwanted Winter - Volume One of the Saga of the Twelves (94 page)

“
Did you take her home
after you guys ate?”

“
Hell yeah, I told myself
‘fuck dessert, we are outta of here’. I asked for the check when I
was like two-thirds finished with my dinner and was headed for the
door when she finished her last bite. I couldn’t stand another
minute of ‘oh, he was nice at first and caring, and… man, was he
ever a good kisser. I really fell hard for him’. Blah, blah, blah!
I was done, like I said. I drove her straight home, dropped her off
and vowed to myself I was going to kick the shit out of you when I
saw you next.”

Joaquin laughed
again.

“
I did, man. I was
pissed!”

“
I can
imagine. Well, for what it’s worth, I
am
sorry,” Joaquin said
apologetically.

It was sincere and genuine
enough that he accepted the apology, though Joaquin’s grin made him
grimace.
Whatever.
“It was a long time ago, so don’t sweat it,” he responded
with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Once more, the silence
returned as each of them mulled over the past.

“
So,” began Jason,
shattering the others’ thoughts, “how are you going to deal with
your feelings for Clarisse?”

Joaquin lay down on his
back, letting his arms spread wide upon the bed of leaves and
twigs, bushy brambles and tufts of moss. His eyes searched the
uneven rock above him. “I don’t know actually, being totally
honest. I miss her, there’s no denying that. I liked the way she
talked to me, the way she said my name and how her eyes would
twinkle mischievously when she did so. She was always so easygoing
and so non-judgmental about everything around her. She could just
sit back, be herself, and not feel like she had to put up some kind
of front to shield herself from what she really was. That was
refreshing for me. It was cool. She was cool.” He stopped to
breathe in and out, measuring the movement in his chest as if he
were attempting to control himself. “She was unafraid of me, you
know, like she
really
trusted me. I don’t usually get that from girls, because I’m
so… you know, big. They usually kinda shy away for a time until
they get to know me, realize I’m not gonna bum-rush them or
anything.

“
Clarisse was never like
that. In fact, she made the first move. She just turned around… and
kissed me… it was… was…” He turned his head to look Jason in the
eyes. This time there was no doubting the tears he saw in his
friend’s orbs.

“
Do you think you’re in
love with her?” asked Jason, his tone half-laced with outrage and
half-laced with awe.

Jason watched as Joaquin
moved his head, looking once again at the ceiling. He was able to
guess at the answer when a tear trickled down the side of his
friends face and onto the blanket.

Holy Freakin’
Shit!

“
I think if we’d had more
time, she could’ve been the one. What I was beginning to feel was
more intense than anything I’d ever felt for a girl. At the same
time, though, it was comforting and warm. All of it together
would’ve rendered me helpless with time. Yeah, I think I would’ve
fallen in love with her. She would’ve captured my heart and held it
hostage. I would’ve been very willing to give it to her, if she’d
give hers to me…”

It was the most honest
thing Joaquin had ever said to him. Jason, honored the other felt
confident enough about their relationship to share it with him,
felt a lump rise in his own throat.

“
I think you are lucky,
Joaquin,” he said after settling himself down.

“
Why?” asked the other
boy, even though Jason couldn’t see his face directly. He knew his
friend was scowling deeply.

“
Because, man, I’ve never
felt that strongly about another person. I can only imagine at what
it must feel like to know you can love… I mean truly.”

“
It’s a two way street, my
friend. It feels great and it hurts like a son of a bitch too. I’m
not just Joaquin Barrientos anymore, just as you aren’t Jason Fong
either,” quantified Joaquin through a tired expression.

“
Do you think our Gifts,
our responsibilities will make too much of a difference to ever go
back to being just Jason and Joaquin? Say after all of this shit is
done, say we make it back home. Do you think you’ll try and make a
life with her?” queried Jason, not liking his friends’ train of
thought.

“
It makes too much of a
difference, Jay,” began the large teen, his voice woefully sad.
“Because, I have this nagging sensation that in order for us to
get, ‘all of this shit done’, the process of doing so will extract
a tremendous toll on each and every one of us, even the ones we
have yet to find.”

“
You think being a
Guardian of the World of Man will change us that much?”

“
Yes.
One way or another, it will. I can only see huge change in store
for us. There is nothing else,
but
change on the horizon, especially if we fail…”
The volume of his voice disappeared to nothing.

We die,
thought Jason, chewing on the notion for a while,
then he realized to whom he was speaking. He sat up, gazing over at
his friend with serious eyes. “What is it you know that you haven’t
told the rest of us?”

“
Something I cannot
explain at the moment,” was all Joaquin would say. His tone echoed
with the sort of finality Jason knew he couldn’t squeak
around.

“
Why?” he probed out of
habit.

“
Because, bud, the time
isn’t right for me to reveal it, not yet, at least,” he mumbled.
“There’s a lot of planning we have to do, in advance, before such
knowledge can be disseminated to the others,” his attempt at
clarification, then added as an afterthought, “They aren’t
ready.”

Jason felt his eyebrows
come together in consternation, trying to digest the logic he
clearly didn’t think was sound. It seemed wrong to him. His eyes
automatically scanned over their companions, trying to gauge
Joaquin’s assessment of them, though he knew there was no way he
could. Besides, Joaquin possessed the Gift of Knowledge, he had a
clear advantage over the rest of them. He could see things the rest
of them simply couldn’t. How could Jason tell if they were ready or
not? He didn’t even have a clue what they had to ready for in the
first place. Still, it felt wrong for his friend to withhold
information, especially in a time like this when knowledge was just
about the only thing keeping them alive. In a life or death
situation, it might well prove the only advantage
available.

“
What makes you think
they’re not ready,” Jason prodded again. He wasn’t going to let
this lie easily.

“
You
all
are
not ready, Jay, every one of you,” stated Joaquin as a matter of
fact, his tone level and devoid of emotion.

Jason’s frowned deepened,
but he didn’t turn his head toward his friend, opting to continue
to watch the others, clearly disliking the idea he too was bunched
with the others.

“
Too much has happened in
such a short amount of time, complete disclosure might be the straw
that broke the camel’s back… as the old saying goes.” Joaquin went
abruptly silent, as if someone had turned down an invisible volume
knob stuck to the back of his neck or something.

“
But, you will tell us
when the time is right, won’t you?” Jason wanted at least something
promised before he let the subject drop.

“
Some of you, yes,” was
the other’s startling retort.

Jason grunted and did
twist his head back to gaze upon Joaquin. “You think this is the
wise thing to do? I mean with all of this crap going on around us,
is this the prudent option?”

He replied almost at once,
a slight edge to his tone. “It might very well be the
only
course of action
available to us. I don’t know enough myself to make a valid
determination, too many variables, too much of it is surrounded by
the unknown. My Gift only works in the present. At times, that
aspect really limits my usefulness.”

Jason could tell the teen
was trying to explain something to him that was most likely the
most abstract concept he’d ever attempted to dissect. Joaquin had
said enough to assuage his misgivings. He decided not to press the
issue any farther. It wouldn’t help in any case. He himself barely
understood how the whole “Gift”-thing worked anyhow. Jason sighed
deeply, feeling mentally tired after all of the activity of the
day, but was gladdened inside that he had helped make things within
the cave a bit better for them, at least for the time
being.

“
Do you like them,
Joaquin?”

“
Do I like who?”
questioned the boy looking back at him with a little tightness to
his eyes.

Jason gestured to the
others with a long sweep of his hand. “Them.”

Joaquin’s face softened at
once. The hint of a smile moved his lips, it didn’t take him long
to answer. “Yes, I do, Jay. I like them a lot. I feel… I don’t
know… connected to them, as if… well, I guess it just feels
right
. There is
something telling me, I’m supposed to be close to them. I’m
supposed to be here, fighting alongside them. The more I think
about it, the deeper the feeling becomes and I am even more certain
my instincts are correct. Does that sound Looney or
what?

“
Naw, man, you’re right.
We are supposed to be here, even if it sucks shit logs being
separated from our families, our homes, and just about everything
else you can think of,” Jason said with a grin that kept on
growing.

“
Like cable,” added
Joaquin, his expression matching the one Jason wore.

“…
and TIVO…”

“…
pastrami from
Pete’s…”

Jason burst out
laughing.
That’s all this dude ever thinks
about – food! Thank god, he works out; otherwise he’d be as fat as
tuna!

~~~~~~~~<<<<<<{ ☼
}>>>>>>~~~~~~~~

Time Lost

Day Three, Saturday, 2:22
am…

She possessed absolutely
no recollection of the earliest memories of her life until she had
lived in the Melded World for more than two years. At first, they
had come in the form of strange, bone chilling déjà-vu. They were
flashes of cognitive duplicity she mistook for something she’d done
while cavorting about the Construct - the earliest form of this
plane - and was merely repeating her actions.

Nonetheless, as time went
on, her brain began to shift and alter as quickly as her
metamorphosing body. These bits and pieces of the electric past
began to deepen with meaning, thicken within the dimension of
reality. They had actually happened
to
her
.

Other times, they came in
her dreams, in color, complete with smells and touches, laced with
the loam of emotion – young, beastly thoughts of a brain firing on
all cylinders, but unable to focus for long, unable to stay the
full course of a given thought.

Still, in other instances,
her head would ache with pain. Her eyes would bulge outward from
the internal strain of it. Those were the times she swore she could
hear the bones of her skull rub and grate against one another. The
agony would build until it was almost unbearable, until she’d
nearly pass out. She would feel a small “pop” and the flood-gates
would lower, a cascade of memory would fill her to the brim.
Sometimes, she’d feel so full, she was sure she would drown. She
would have to sit and meditate, let the thousands and thousands of
sensations coarse through her body, forcibly trying to fit into the
greater recesses of her evolving mind. Sometimes it would take
hours. She was a prisoner in her own mind, staving off thirst,
hunger, the need to relieve herself. As time progressed, she was
beginning to realize she was no longer a German Sheppard mix. Ever
so slowly, inklings of self-awareness began to trickle to the
forefront of her consciousness. They began to stick. An odd sense
of foreboding would streak up and down her spine. She was changing,
growing larger. She was becoming something greater, something
infinitely more important than the pet of a conscientious little
boy. A sense of purpose began to settle about the centermost parts
of her mind. She began to relish the pain, hope for it, because,
though excruciating, it always left her with something more, a
bigger piece of the being she was destined to become.