The Vacant Throne: The Legend Of Kairu Vol 3 (17 page)

Read The Vacant Throne: The Legend Of Kairu Vol 3 Online

Authors: Tim McFarlane

Tags: #comedy, #humor, #dark fantasy, #action and adventure, #historical fantasy, #contemporary fiction, #comedy fantasy

BOOK: The Vacant Throne: The Legend Of Kairu Vol 3
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Cathy chuckled. “They couldn’t just
pull on the rope?”


It’s a small well,”
Natalie explained. “Probably not used by too many people
anymore.”


What happened that
day?” I asked.


Took you long enough
to ask that,” Natalie joked. “It was going well until fate decided
to play a game with me. I had made it back outside when a guard had
come around the back to...uh...water the tree.”

I tried to cover my
laughter. “The Great Natalie caught because someone had to go
tinkle.”

She chuckled. “Happens to the best of
us sometimes.”


What happened next?”
Cathy asked.


I killed him but not
before he called out in alarm,” Natalie answered. “The only way in
and out of this place is the front gate. I was screwed and did the
only thing I could. I hid the evidence and waited to be arrested.
Figured I would just get arrested for trespassing, but Lord
Michaels is a crafty old man. I’ll give him that.”


How’d you get into
the castle in the first place?” I asked.

She chuckled. “I was undercover as a
new cleaning servant. My friend has a contact in the castle that
set everything up and snuck in my gear.”

We were closing in on the back of the
castle and we stopped to free Natalie of her bonds. She kept her
hands hidden behind her back still just in case fate and the call
of nature decided to intervene again. When we continued, we
discovered the only people behind the building were wearing bright
yellow with black masks.

We immediately caught their attention
and they walked towards us weapons drawn. “Well, well, well,” the
leader said. “What do we have here?”


Prisoner transfer,”
I said, counting out the eight mercs. “What are mercenaries doing
here?”


A prisoner escaped
from Thurlborn Peak,” the leader answered in an amused tone. “We’re
here to kill him.”


How’d you beat us
here?” Natalie asked in her ‘Nathan’ voice.


The Yellow Jackets
are everywhere,” the leader said. “We received word from Lord
Michaels’ private courier a day ago. Gave us plenty of time to look
for the ledger. That’s a great job you did with the well; had us
fooled. Now, where is the ledger?”


What do you mean?”
Natalie asked intrigued.


Where is the
ledger?” the leader demanded saying each word slowly.


You’re not going to
believe me if I tell you,” Natalie answered, bringing her arm
forward with the blade ready.


Take the prisoner
alive,” the leader told his men. “Kill the ‘guards’.”

Cathy immediately unsheathed her sword
and charged into battle. I pulled out the axe and it felt awkward
in my hand. A merc approached me with his shield ready and I swung
the axe at him slowly. The axe bounced off the shield and out of my
hand. I didn’t need to see the merc’s face to know he was laughing.
He bashed his shield into me and I fell onto my back.

He charged, ready to
drive his sword into my chest and I raised my hands and launched a
Pulse at him. The gauntlets hindered the power of the spell and the
merc was only thrown backwards a couple of steps. It was enough
time for me to rip off my right gauntlet and launch a proper Pulse
at him. He fell back and I jumped back onto my feet and ripped the
other gauntlet off.

Two other mercs saw
my display of power and turned their attention to me. The first
merc to attack me was back on his feet and I sent a small Lightning
Bolt at him, turning him into an electrical conduit. I used a Pulse
to launch him into the two mercs. One dodged the flying lightning
rod and charged at me, shield raised. I dodged him, but because of
the blasted armour, the
manoeuvre
was anything but
graceful and I landed on my butt.

I rushed to my feet as the merc spun
around, ready to chop me up like a tomato with his sword. I rushed
power to both my hands and solid ice formed around them. I raised
them up into the ready position and stepped towards my
assailant.

He swung his sword at me and I blocked
it with my left hand, sending my right into his face. His head
snapped back and he staggered a couple of steps. Out of the corner
of my eye I saw that his two friends had finished the electrically
induced breakdancing session and had returned for some more. I
focused more power into my Ice Hands and the ice started to form
into a point at my knuckles, giving me two very Natalie-like
weapons.

The three mercs
charged me at once and I focused on deflecting their blows while
finding a chance to strike. A deflection here and there and an
opening presented itself. I stabbed into a merc’s chest and turned
to slash another across the neck. The third merc slashed me across
the back and pain exploded through my body. Without Cathy to block
my pain I needed to ignore it myself and react quickly. I turned in
time to block the merc from trying to jam his sword through me. I
was too slow to block another slash, this time across my chest, and
I fell to the ground.

My ice hands melted and I raised both
at the merc and unleashed a Fireball that covered him from head to
toe. I followed with a Pulse to knock him onto his back and he
screamed, trying to put out the fire. I stood up and launched an
Ice Bolt into his chest to end his suffering.

I felt the warm blood
running down my body from both wounds, but the armour had done its
job. I was still in one piece. I’ll take a little pain over trying
to glue my legs back on any day.

I turned my attention to my friends and
saw they were doing well. Two mercs remained and I summoned my
power into the nearby tree. The trees branches grabbed the mercs
sword arms and Cathy and Natalie finished them off.


I see you haven’t
lost a step,” Natalie joked in her normal voice.

I approached them
slowly as I let my healing magic work on the wounds. “Not that
good,” I said. “I got lucky at the end there.”


And that’s all that
matters in a fight,” Natalie said. “Now let’s figure out what the
Void they were talking about.”

She headed for the well and Cathy
walked over to me, checking out the damaged armour. “I can’t turn
my back on you for one second can I?” she asked.


You missed Ice
Hands,” I said, removing my helmet to cool down.


How could you do
them without me?” she said shocked.


I made them pointy
so they were like Natalie’s blade gauntlet,” I smirked.

Cathy scoffed. “I leave and you get all
the fun.”


What about him?” I
said, pointing to a merc who had been cut in half at the waist.
“You can’t say that wasn’t fun.”


That Red Headed
Toilet Scrubber!” Natalie exclaimed.


Oh look, something
positive is about to happen,” Cathy said sarcastically.

Natalie stomped back over to us holding
up a piece of crumpled up paper that read ‘JKS’.


Jokes?” I asked.
“What does it mean?”


It means I owe my
friend a swift kick in the butt,” she fumed.


Well then, let’s get
out of here before more Yellow Jackets show up,” I said. “What are
we doing about the guards?”


If they didn’t show
up after this battle, they aren’t coming,” Cathy answered. “The
Yellow Jacket paid someone off. Just stick to the plan and let’s
walk right out the front door like nothing happened.”


Alright,” I said,
putting on my helmet. “Stay close, Natalie, and no more odd
obscenities.”


When you see him,
you’ll realise it was more an accurate description,” Natalie
grumbled.

Chapter
15

 

 

When a man with bright red curly hair
answered the door, I understood Natalie a little bit better. The
man really did look like a toilet scrubber. He was even thin and
pasty as if it was his goal to look that way.


You’re getting
rusty, love,” he smirked to Natalie.

She shoved past him. “I can’t believe I
have to deal with you twice in one day.”


Yes, lucky me,” he
said, sarcastically. He turned to us. “Please, come in.”

Natalie’s friend’s house was a small
bungalow not far from the castle. When we left the castle grounds,
the gate guard gave us one look before doing his best to ignore the
situation. I didn’t blame him. We looked like a mess after the
battle and I would have just waved us through as well. Cathy had
been right. They had been paid off to ignore the situation.
Sneaking Natalie out of the grounds had been easy and she led us
straight to Mr. Toilet Brush.


Don’t be getting any
blood on my furniture,” he continued.


What furniture?”
Cathy asked me quietly.

The house was a mess with various items
scattered over everything that could have been furniture at one
point. Once again I was glad to be wearing armour because I had the
feeling that if I accidentally brushed up against something, I
would probably end up with multiple diseases.

Cathy and I stood in a safe corner as
Natalie shoved the note from the well into her friend’s face. “What
is the meaning of this?”


Just a little love
note for you,” he answered, his smirk still plastered on his
face.


What does it mean?”
Cathy asked curiously. “What is JKS?”


My name,” he
answered. “Julian King Salvador, King Salvador to the common rabble
or ‘Jokes’ to my friends, Master Thief and Forger at your service.”
He bowed with a flourish.


You really like that
sound of your own voice, don’t you?” Cathy asked.


How could I not?” he
asked. “It’s simply...breathtaking.”


Vomit inducing is
how I’ve always described it,” Natalie said. “Now, Julie, what is
the meaning of you sending me in there if you already had the
ledger?”


As long as the
Yellow Jackets are in town, everyone is in trouble,” Jokes
answered. “They were here for you and you are capable enough to
handle them. Void, you are travelling with two armed guards after
all. It was simple mathematics, love. You eliminate the mercs and I
protect the ledger from them until you return.”

He crossed the room to a desk with a
stack of books on it. He removed a thin book from the middle of the
stack and handed it to Natalie.


You still could have
warned me of the danger,” Natalie said, still trying to be angry at
him.


You work better when
you are on your toes,” Jokes countered.


No, I work better
when I have a plan,’ Natalie corrected.


Silly me,” he
chuckled, brushing it off. “Maybe I was just getting you back for
leaving Mongoose without me.”


I didn’t have a lot
of time on my hands,” Natalie countered. “I had to move when I
did.”


Yes, but you know
how Mongoose is with deserters and FRIENDS of deserters,” Jokes
said seriously. “Now we are even, my old friend. Was there anything
else you needed from me?”


We’re hunting down
two knights that may have come through here,” I said. “Ser Scott
and Ser Paul.”


The names don’t ring
a bell, but try Stitches,” Jokes responded. “If two knights have
come through, the blacksmith is the best bet.”


Not Stitches,”
Natalie groaned. “He’s such a weasel.”


Yeah, but he’s
reliable,” Jokes responded. “He’s the reason I was able to get to
the ledger before the Yellow Jackets. The guy hears
everything.”


Fine,” Natalie said.
“Will he be at the pub tonight?”


Fat chance,” Jokes
said. “He’s been laying low the past couple of nights. You’ll find
him at work in the morning. Meaning you get to stay the night
here.”


Pass,” Cathy
said.


Agreed,” I
said.


I wasn’t talking to
you two,” Jokes said, turning to Natalie. “I miss you keeping my
bed warm.”


That was a long time
ago, Julie,” Natalie said, heading for us. “Thanks for your help.
As payment, I won’t slice your head off.”

Jokes chuckled. “Deal. Drop by again
soon, love.”


Let’s get the Void
out of here,” Natalie said quietly to us.

*****

The night was short,
but for the first time since Cathy and I had separated, I had a
dream. I couldn’t remember the details when I woke up. All I could
recall was standing under the distortion in the Archanion Field and
it felt like I was going home. When my eyes opened to reveal Cathy
lying on the bed beside me, the oddness of the dream was
forgotten.

Cathy and I had to share a room after
Natalie took a room and locked the door. We didn’t mind sharing,
frankly I think we were both in favour of it, and collapsed onto
the bed for a couple of hours sleep before the sun rose.

Cathy opened her eyes slowly. “What are
you looking at, bitch?” she asked.


Nothing,” I replied.
“You’re just directly in front of me and I am too lazy to roll
over.”


Pretty convenient
excuse,” she smiled.


Tell it to the back
of my head,” I said, rolling over.

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