The Vampire Blog

PETE JOHNSON

CORGI BOOKS

Cover Page

Title Page

Copyright Page

Dedication

Otherbooks

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

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Version 1.0

Epub ISBN 9781407076270

www.randomhouse.co.uk

THE VAMPIRE BLOG
A CORGI YEARLING BOOK 978 0 440 86935 1

Published in Great Britain by Corgi Yearling, an imprint of Random House Children's Books A Random House Group Company

This edition published 2010
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Copyright © Pete Johnson, 2010

The right of Pete Johnson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

The Random House Group Limited supports the Forest Stewardship Council (FSC), the leading international forest certification organization. All our titles that are printed on Greenpeace-approved FSC-certified paper carry the FSC logo. Our paper procurement policy can be found at
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Set in 12.5/16pt Century Schoolbook by Falcon Oast Graphic Art Ltd.

Corgi Yearling Books are published by Random House Children's Books, 61–63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA

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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Bookmarque, Croydon, CR0 4TD

To Bill – who knows a lot about vampires!

 

 

Dad piped up, ‘The thing is, Marcus, you're special.'

‘Oh, I'm the best.' I grinned. ‘And I'm so glad you've realized it – at long last.'

‘But a few extra things are going to happen to you, which your friends won't experience,' he continued.

‘Like what?' I asked cautiously.

‘Well, you will smell quite horrid,' said Mum.

I sniffed my armpits. ‘Are you saying I stink?' I asked.

‘No, no,' said Mum, ‘but you will for a little while, or rather your breath will. And there's nothing you can do to take away the smell.'

‘And soon,' said Dad, ‘a white fang will appear in your mouth.'

I gaped at him. ‘Dad, what on earth are you talking about?'

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How many Pete Johnson books have you read?

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‘Very readable with a skilful plot'
Observer

Sunday 30 September
7.15 p.m.

Three things you never want to hear your parents say:

‘Let's talk about the facts of life.'

‘We're going to start dancing now.'

‘Soon, a white fang will appear in your mouth.'

My parents have just told me that last one. Then they went on to tell me … well, you just wait.

Today is my thirteenth birthday. And for the first time in the history of the world, my parents bought me a present I actually wanted: an iPod Touch. It's got to be my
Christmas present as well. But I don't care. It's brilliant. And it's no bigger than a mobile phone so it can go anywhere with me. Now I can play video games or go on the internet or blog whenever I want.

And I imagined myself keeping such a sensational blog that just about everyone would be going mad to read it. Well, my blog's going to be sensational all right, but no one can ever see it. What I'm about to tell you, blog, is for your eyes only – and must remain hidden behind a secret password for ever.

Strange how your life changes when you're least expecting it. I was just innocently munching my tea tonight when Mum and Dad suddenly stormed in. Mum switched off the telly and she and Dad sat down at the table with me.

‘We want to talk to you, Marcus,' said Dad.

This didn't surprise me. Mum and Dad are always giving me long, boring lectures which really annoy me. That's what I go to school for.

‘We thought,' said Dad, ‘this would be a good moment to tell you' – he looked at Mum, who nodded slightly – ‘about some of the
wonderful changes that will soon be taking place in your body.'

‘Getting tons of acne and my voice going all wobbly, you mean,' I said.

‘There are other changes too,' said Mum softly.

Oh no, here it comes, I thought, the facts of life talk. My toes were curling up with embarrassment already. ‘Not while I'm eating, Mum, please. You'll put me right off,' I said. ‘And we've done it in biology anyway, so I know all the gory details.' Then I smiled, looked hopefully at the door and said, ‘Hey, Mum and Dad, it's been great hanging out with you both and don't be strangers now. Bye.'

But neither of them budged. Instead, they glanced quickly at each other again. Then Dad piped up, ‘The thing is, Marcus, you're special.'

‘Oh, I'm the best.' I grinned. ‘And I'm so glad you've realized it – at long last.'

‘But a few extra things are going to happen to you which your friends won't experience,' he continued.

‘Like what?' I asked cautiously.

‘Well, you will smell quite horrid,' said Mum.

I sniffed my armpits. ‘Are you saying I stink?' I asked.

‘No, no,' said Mum, ‘but you will for a little while, or rather your breath will. And there's nothing you can do to take away the smell.'

‘And soon,' said Dad, ‘a white fang will appear in your mouth.'

I gaped at him. ‘Dad, what on earth are you talking about?'

But he just rattled on. ‘Now, the fang will only be there for a day. And it's nothing to worry about, quite natural for someone as special as you.'

Dad looked as if he was about to say a lot more, but then Mum cried, ‘Well, I think that's enough information for our first little talk.' And she started to get up.

‘Er, hold on,' I said. ‘Just why is a fang coming my way? You'll be telling me next I'm turning into a vampire!'

I rolled around laughing after I'd said that. Well, the atmosphere had got very tense without me quite knowing why. So when in doubt, laugh. Laughing is what life should be
all about. That's what I say anyway. Only I suddenly noticed that Mum and Dad weren't even smiling. And then I spotted little beads of sweat on Dad's forehead.

‘Hey, you two are really freaking me out tonight, you know,' I cried. ‘You've put me right off my food as well, and usually nothing in the world can do that … now, just tell me, what's going on?'

Dad said slowly, ‘You're not a vampire.'

‘No, well I never really thought I was,' I said. ‘They don't even exist, do they?'

Dad didn't answer this, but then said, very slowly and carefully as if he was translating what he was saying from another language, ‘Your mother and I are, we're proud to say, half-vampires, well, nearly half – probably about forty per cent vampire. But we call ourselves half-vampires and we believe you are one too.'