The Vampire Queen (3 page)

‘Finn,’ he asked,’ do worms have tails?’

‘They are tails, I think,’ Finn answered.

With that, Finn climbed the ladder to his room and snuggled into his furry sleeping bag. Downstairs, Jake climbed into the open drawer of the cabinet.

The treehouse was warm and quiet, and for a while both Finn and Jake slept soundly. But soon they each began to twitch and turn in their sleep.

Their dreams were haunted by a mysterious figure with grey skin, long black hair and a mischievous grin.

It was Marceline the vampire queen!

The bloodsucking house stealer may have let Jake and Finn back into the treehouse, but she was not done with them. It was just a matter of time before she would once again challenge her worthy opponents to a rematch.

One day, Marceline spied on Finn and Jake as they played in a graveyard. She watched as Finn slid down the bone of a humungous skeleton.

‘Here I go!’ he called down to Jake.
‘Woo woo!’
Finn rushed down toward the ground, crashing into Jake and a pile of bones at the bottom of the slide.

‘Awesome!’ he cried as he pumped his fist in the air. Then Finn heard the sound of sobbing in the distance.

‘Someone needs our help!’ he cried. He and Jake rushed over to see what was the matter. They peered over some rocks and saw an old man holding a cane. He was bawling his eyes out. Marceline the vampire queen was standing before him, her arms crossed in front of her.

‘What is it about henchman for life that you don’t understand?’ she huffed.

‘Oh, c’mon,’ the old man begged.

‘Dude, it’s Marceline, the vampire queen,’ Finn whispered to Jake. Jake cowered behind the rock in fear and began to tremble uncontrollably.

‘Can you find the compassion to release this poor old body?’ the old man asked.

‘Henchman for life means henchman for
LIFE!
’ Marceline snarled.

‘Are you still petrified of vampires?’ Finn quietly asked his canine companion.

He got his answer when he saw that Jake had pulled his head completely into the folds of his floppy neck skin. His pal looked like a headless, shaking, four-legged blob of fear.

‘I guess that means yes,’ Finn said.

‘Fall on the ground for me!’ Marceline commanded.

The old man tipped forward and splattered on the grass, facedown.

‘Yes, mistress,’ he groaned.

‘Now, cry for me!’ Marceline ordered.

‘Okay, I don’t want to cry, but I shall cry for you,’ the old man answered.

He wailed loudly. A storm of his tears pounded the grass.

Finn the Adventurer had seen enough.

‘Hey, cut that out!’ he called as he jumped over the rock. Jake reluctantly followed. The two friends ran over to the old man and patted him on the back.

‘Oh, if it isn’t my favourite little goody two-shoes, Finn,’ Marceline sneered.

‘Stop making this poor old dude cry,’ Finn replied angrily.

‘I can make him do whatever I want,’ the vampire queen told Finn. ‘Watch.’

Marceline lifted her arm and gave a command to the old man.

‘Henchman, amuse me,’ she said.

The old man stood up, groaned and then leaned forward. He held tightly onto his cane as he lifted his body up over it, balancing on one hand with his feet over his head. He was obviously struggling from the effort.

‘Stop it!’ Finn yelled.

But Marceline wasn’t going to take orders from anyone, especially someone she called ‘goody two-shoes.’

‘Now hop around in a circle,’ she directed, completely ignoring Finn.

The old man followed Marceline’s orders. Then his cane snapped, and he planted his face on the ground once again.

‘Oh, no!’ Finn gasped. ‘Don’t worry, sir! I’ll see to it you get set free!’

‘Oh, and how are you going to pull that off, hero?’ Marceline inquired.

‘I’ll do what I need to do,’ Finn said bravely. ‘I’ll even take his place!’

‘Dude, what?’ Jake said as he backed away from his friend.

‘Do you mean it?’ Marceline asked.

‘Heck, yeah!’ said Finn.

‘Deal!’ Marceline agreed. ‘Old henchman, you are free.’

‘Woo hoo!’
the old man cheered, bouncing away as if he were 20 years younger.

‘What are you doing, man?’ Jake wondered aloud.

He was even more afraid when Marceline showed her demon face and hissed at him. He looked pleadingly toward Finn for an explanation.

‘I couldn’t watch that old man suffer, Jake,’ Finn said. ‘My code of honour wouldn’t allow it.’

Marceline laughed and mocked Finn.

‘Oh, my code of honour wouldn’t allow it,’ she mimicked.

Jake growled at Marceline. She transformed into a demonic wolf, sprang toward Jake and snarled in his horrified face.

‘Yes, Jake?’ she asked. ‘What would you like to talk about?’

Jake waved his paws in the air and ducked behind Finn for cover. His teeth chattered and his bones rattled with fear.

‘I want to help you out of this, man,’ he said to Finn. ‘But she scares the filling out of my doughnut. Let’s just leave.’

‘I can’t,’ said Finn. ‘As a hero, I’m bound by my word.’

Before he could say another word, Marceline grabbed Finn by the neck and flew off into the night, cackling like a crazed vampire queen.

‘Don’t worry, dude,’ Jake called. ‘I’ll figure something out.’

Jake scratched his head and sighed. Finn and his dumb code of honour! Didn’t he know that vampires don’t have any honour? But Finn was his best buddy. It didn’t matter how scared Jake was of vampire queens, he was going to have to rescue his friend. So Jake trailed after them.

As Marceline and Finn flew through the unfriendly skies, the vampire queen filled her new henchman in on his duties. ‘You’re lucky, Finn,’ Marceline told him. ‘Your first job as henchman is to help me feed.’

Finn gasped in horror.

‘Feed?’ he whispered. ‘What does she mean? Like oats? Like sentient beings? Like sentient beings and oats? It doesn’t matter. I can handle it!’

Marceline and her henchman approached a house that stood alone in a valley, miles away from any neighbours.

‘Finn, open the door,’ Marceline ordered.

Finn approached the door. As he reached for the doorknob, his hand began to shake, as if some inner force was countering Marceline’s command.

‘Open it already!’ Marceline yelled.

‘No way, Marceline,’ Finn replied. ‘I’m not going to open this door if innocent people will be hurt!’

‘Aren’t you bound by your word to do as I say, hero?’ Marceline reminded Finn.

‘Yes,’ Finn replied, defeated.

He opened the door and saw Eberhardt, the resident of the house, seated at a piano.

‘Sorry about this,’ Finn apologised.

‘Hold him down!’ Marceline ordered.

Finn had no choice but to obey her command.

‘Are you enjoying this, Finn?’ the vampire queen laughed, kneeling down next to Eberhardt, who was now pinned to the floor.

‘No!’ Finn protested.

Outside, Jake finally caught up with them. He raised his fist and snarled as he watched the things that Marceline was making his best buddy do. He put his fear aside (sort of).

‘Don’t you worry, Finn,’ he growled. ‘I’ll get you out of there. I’ve got a perfect plan.’

Inside, Marceline’s skin turned a ghastly shade of green, and her forked tongue tasted the air like a hungry snake.

She looked truly hideous. Jake turned from the window and dashed toward the bushes.

‘I’m not running away, Finn!’ he yelled. ‘This is just part of my plan!’

Jake wasn’t the only one who was frightened. Beads of sweat dripped down Eberhardt’s face as he imagined what Marceline had in store for him.

‘Please, human boy, let me go,’ he pleaded.

‘I’m sorry, sir,’ Finn apologised. ‘I’m bound by my code of honour to do what she says.’

‘I understand, son,’ Eberhardt replied. ‘I was married myself once.’

This guy was getting it all wrong! Marceline and Finn were not a couple!

‘Wait!’ Finn yelled angrily. ‘I’m not married to…’

‘Ugh!’ Marceline groaned. ‘Enough talking! Dinner is served!’

Marceline bared her terrifying teeth and lunged down toward Eberhardt. At the last second, Finn pulled Eberhardt back and Marceline slammed her face on the floor.

‘How dare you, henchman!’ Marceline snarled. ‘I order you to let me feed!’