The Vampire (THE VAMPIRE Book 1) (69 page)

“But I’m not going anywhere. I am not leaving; especially now that I have gotten to come back here.”

“In his mind, we all leave him. Sooner, or later.”

This gave Jason pause. That this was Augere’s view deeply touched and saddened him, more than he might have imagined. Because Augere was right. No matter how long the association lasted, or how well things went, it all had to come to an end. This provided Jason with a glimpse into an aspect of vulnerability in Augere.

“Do you think that might be his way of trying to get closer to us?”

“I think it is a mistake to think that.” Jason thought he detected some sadness in Terrance’s voice. “I don’t think he really ever attaches to any of us. Though each of us might like to believe so.”

“But—it seems he and James are close. And you—after twenty-five years of knowing him, I would think he must hold affection for you; some fondness definitely; maybe as much as you hold for him—”

“He does not view time the same way we do. Twenty-five years is nothing to him. No more than an evening gone. And he still remains uncomfortable around us, even those who have known him a long time, and who have demonstrated their loyalty. He is still distrustful of us; in particular he will not allow himself to trust his experiences with us.”

“I don’t understand that. Why would that be?”

“For one thing, he knows his aura, or his magnetism, or whatever you wish to call it, that presence he has—is a powerful lure that pulls us toward him, sometimes against our will. So he does not trust that our feelings regarding him are real. He can and will use that power to his advantage when he wants to. But at the worst, he holds contempt for us for fawning over him, succumbing to that power, that sort of ‘glamour’ he has no true control over and that we seem too weak to resist. He believes it is never him we are attracted to, never him we really like, but merely our perception of him that draws us in: that we may be drawn unknowingly to
what
he is and not
who
he is. Conversely he has experienced people suddenly being repulsed by what he is; people who have then totally rejected him because of his nature, even after getting to know him and seemingly accepting him. As a result he perceives our words, our sentiments as being mostly empty and meaningless. Not to be trusted; not real. And so—it is all rather one sided; though we may attach to him, he really does not attach to any of us.”

Augere does not trust any of us. Perhaps rightfully so
, Jason thought. He felt as if he might be betraying Augere’s trust right now by having this secret conversation with Terrance. But this information was important. And the intent was simply to know him better, not to cause harm.

His desire to become closer to Augere was already beginning to seem hopeless; a void that might always remain empty. No matter what was said or done, no matter how genuinely felt and expressed, all of the feeling was false in Augere’s view, and his was a view that seemingly could not be altered even with experience and over time. Jason began to feel a deep sadness for him. But still, others must have succeeded in forming some bond.

“You have a long shared history with him, Terrance. I’m sure it must have taken a while to build that rapport. I have to think there is some genuine feeling toward you on his part. It seems you understand him so well.”

“Yes, I suppose it must seem that way. He can be quite a mystery to me still. Some of us think of ourselves as different. That he has made an exception for us. Maybe it is an illusion we like to hang on to. I believe the insecurity does go both ways. Our relationship did evolve, seemed to become closer, over time. There was always some distance and formality though. He always kept a lot to himself. But I believe I was able to get to know him fairly well, or as well as anyone could. He can be quite temperamental. Bluntly honest at times and then very secretive and withholding. Wickedly funny; extremely generous at times. Yet also completely horrible and with no remorse or regret. And no apologies offered, ever. I think we get along better now that I don’t work for him. I do truly miss him. But we do keep in touch; he does call me quite often. He called me this morning in fact.”

“He did?” Jason contemplated this a moment. “When he calls you, does he usually have a specific reason?”

“There is always a reason behind everything he does, even the simplest things, though we may not always know what that reason is. The Geniers and I have speculated he is, always, a minimum of ten steps ahead of us.”

“And this time, when he called, why do you think it was?”

“Well, this time though I truly think he just wanted to talk, just conversation. He will do that sometimes. Perhaps needing some solace too.”

Jason paused to consider this. “You have been there for him before…and so he turned to you again.” Jason spoke his thoughts out loud. Terrance didn’t necessarily view this as positive regard on Augere’s part. But Jason thought it must be.

“Yes, I suppose it really could be,” Terrance admitted. “I know this time of year is especially difficult for him. He knows I’m aware of that.”

“Mr. Genier mentioned that to me also. That was one of the reasons I called you. I wasn’t sure what to do about the holidays. Whether to stay in Boston to keep him company, or to leave him alone and make other plans. I want to get a large tree, something traditional and decorate it for the holidays—I was thinking I could put in the main foyer for both of us to enjoy—”

“Oh, no! Bad idea. Anything to do with human cheerfulness—all that holiday stuff especially—is quite stabby to him.”

Stabby? Stabby
.

“Oh, I see. Well, I’m really glad I mentioned it to you first. That would have been horrible. A real disaster.”

“Yes. Quite.” There was a pause. “Of course, that doesn’t stop the Geniers from going ahead with their holiday plans, which usually do include him. I’m guessing from your comments they haven’t made the arrangements yet?”

“Uh, I don’t know…What arrangements?”

“Ah, the game is on! Has Genier approached you about the holidays though?”

“Well, yes, as a matter of fact, he did bring it up. He said he would get back to me.”

“There you go. Brace yourself. Things could get a little bumpy.” Before Jason could respond, Terrance continued, “I just remembered something else I wanted to tell you: Be mindful of what you say and how you express it to him. He can take things quite literally at times—he can be too concrete. Both the Geniers and I have had some close calls.”

“How do you mean?” Jason was puzzled.

“You know how sometimes we all may say one thing, and mean another? Or mean nothing at all by it? It’s just something we say? He doesn’t always get that. Like with the Highgate incident: you made a flippant comment, but he took it quite literally.”

“So—he doesn’t always get—sarcasm?”

Terrance laughed. “Oh, he does, yes, but still he often interprets things quite differently. For example, when you work for him, you are under his protection, which probably sounds like a good thing, and it usually is. But anything that bothers you or could negatively impact you is something he sees as a threat. Something to be eliminated, usually permanently. How can you focus on him and what he needs from you, if you are worried or bothered by something? So you don’t ever want to say things to him like: ‘that guy at the grocery store is such a pain in the arse. I don’t know why he gives me such a hard time’—or ‘my girlfriend is being such a bitch to me lately.’ If you ever hear him say ‘I will take care of it’—that is the time to back up and think over what you have just said and correct any misunderstandings right then. Unless you really do not ever want to see your girlfriend again. And you have solid alibis.”

“Are you saying he would go out and really harm someone, just because—”

“The Geniers seem to think, or perhaps they choose to believe, that he rarely acts on his deadly impulses. They have talked to him at length about surveillance, forensic evidence, modern technology—that sort of thing—everyone has a camera at their ready use these days—and they have warned him not to do anything even remotely illegal, in public especially. But I do believe he does so, and often.

“You always have to remember:
vampire
. If there is one and only piece of advice I can get you to never lose sight of it is this—never forget for a moment: vampire.”

“Yes. I am just beginning to see him in that different light now. Has he ever acknowledged as much to you? About acting on things like you mentioned?”

“Yes and no. Sometimes it is more like a vague feeling. And there would be his casual attitude about any mention of someone who has suddenly gone missing. Could he wantonly kill humans on a regular basis and has he done so? I know he has, in the past at least. But not just gratuitous violence, not murder just for the sake of it. He does have a moral side. He always has his reason and justification, even if it is not reasons we might agree with.”

It was chilling to hear Terrance say so. Even though he was slowly coming to accept that of course, this went with what Augere was. A thought suddenly came to mind—something significant and relevant to Terrance’s comments, but it seemed a vague and fleeting concern, a thought that was gone before Jason could express it.

“Terrance, I have more questions about him; things I would rather ask you, than ask him about. Because I don’t want him to laugh at me, or get angry and offended.”

“Okay, well, go ahead then.”

“I know he needs to have blood, and water. I’ve seen him drink other substances too. Is he capable of eating and drinking like we do? And what about garlic and mirrors—is any of that mythology true for him? And coffins? I don’t know if he has them—Mr. Genier said he is claustrophobic, but…I still don’t know how all of this works. That he survived a wooden stake…all of the things I don’t know really concern me. You said he is impervious to every harm. I’m afraid I will say or do something out of ignorance; I worry about that—”

“I totally understand what you mean. No one has yet taken the time to explain. And he would tell you, all of that, or most of it, in time. But I believe you are saying it is better to know sooner, rather than later. And I do agree.”

“Yes.” Jason breathed a sigh of relief.

“As I was saying before—truly immortal. No kryptonite out there anywhere with his name on it. He is very uncomfortable in strong sun but there is no permanent harm. No silver bullets, and obviously no wooden stakes can cause harm either. Fire will burn his clothing off, but leave him unscathed. Holy water, crosses, garlic—all of that—is rubbish. No shape shifting. As for coffins—he has two of them actually…uhmmm, let’s see…any wound will quickly heal, if any wound can even occur, which is quite rare to begin with. No illness can infect him. Much of the truth regarding him is so far from all the mythology we have been led to believe. One hears the word immortal in reference to vampire and yet it turns out any number of things can end their existence, at least the mythological ones. It would always make me laugh once I knew him, the way that word immortal is tossed about in movies and literature: exposure to continued harsh sun, fire, a wooden stake, a silver bullet—all these can end my existence, and supposedly any vampire’s as well! If someone twisted off their heads, they could die—me too! Those vampires are only slightly more immortal than I am! And then for that mythological vampire, their forever is over.

“Not this vampire. Truly immortal, Jason. There is no escape for him. And that fact has had a huge impact and significance on his existence and the way he views everything. No way out.

“As for food, though he could eat, apparently it would make him quite ill—not illness in the sense that we think of it: his would be much worse, like a poison. But of course, not fatal. Usually he can only handle clear liquids in small amounts. Except for water—he can consume lots of water. His body cannot metabolize alcohol, but he does like to drink. He does not require much to be inebriated as the effects are greatly enhanced for him, and so he will usually drink in moderation. But I will say this: you do NOT want him to be drunk.”

“Great. And just how am I supposed to prevent that?” Jason asked with some alarm.

“Yeah, good luck with that! There is really not much point in trying to get him to do something, or to try to stop him from doing something, once he has decided.”

“Terrance—you see? There is so much I didn’t know! I am so grateful for all of this information—and I’m really surprised about the coffins—”

“Uh, it is not quite what you think—”

“—and if it wasn’t for you I still wouldn’t know most of this… Terrance—do you think he is unhappy with his existence?”

“He struggles with it sometimes, though I don’t know if he would still agree with that statement. It is a very complex issue in some ways. He has lost many things as a result of his situation. Those things he is unhappy about. But I can say I have not ever, not once, heard him say he hates being vampire.”

Jason was surprised and intrigued by that comment; he wanted to linger over this information, to ask more questions, to continue this discussion but once again he knew he had kept Terrance on the phone long enough.

“I appreciate all you have shared with me, Terrance.”

“And I have enjoyed having a say, and feeling as if I have been of help to someone else. As I said I really do not ever get to talk to anyone about him; I can’t even say much to my wife either. So it’s good to have someone to share some of my thoughts and experiences with. I would not have thought how important that could be, just to be able to unburden oneself. But it is a heavy secret to carry alone for so many years.”

“So your wife doesn’t know about him?”

“No. Not truly. And though she met him several times, years ago, it would be unwise to let her see him again; she would notice how much he has not changed. I’m not sure what she believes but she has learned not to ask too many questions concerning him.”

“I know I have to let you go. I’ll try not to bother you for a while.”

Terrance laughed. “It is sincerely not a bother We will be in and out of town for the holidays, and then gone briefly in January, and then for an entire month end of February to end of March. You can try to reach me in between if you need to. And you can always call James too of course. He will help you.”