The Very Best of Robin Williams: Memories of a Comedy Legend (3 page)

‘Men can't fake an orgasm, who wants to look that dumb, you know what I'm saying?’

WHAT HE SAID ABOUT HIMSELF

‘I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.’

*

'My battles with addiction definitely shaped how I am now. They really made me deeply appreciate human contact. And the value of friends and family, how precious that is.'

*

'I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, "My boy's got learnin’".'

*

'People ask why I do children's comedies. I'm happy being a Robert de Niro for nine-year-olds.'

*

'People think they know you. They expect you to be literally like you are on TV or in the movies, bouncing off the walls. A woman in an airport once said to me, "Be zany!" People always want zany, goofy shit from me. It takes a lot of energy to do that. If you do that all the time, you'll burn out.'

*

'I went to rehab in wine country, just to keep my options open.'

*

'When I'm awake, I don't want to go to sleep. I don't want the hassle of turning the light off, putting my head down and then all the thoughts. I don't want all those thoughts.'

*

'After my heart attack, my heart was all out of rhythm. It sounded like I had Tito Puente from an Afro-Cuban band on the front valve. Then they do an angiogram, which is going through your groin to get to your heart. And who knew that was the way to a man’s heart? I have a cow valve now. It’s wonderful. I can shit standing up.
'

*

‘I love kids, but they are a tough audience.’

*

'I'm a born entertainer. When I open the fridge door and the light goes on, I burst into song.'

*

‘I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.’

*

‘Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public. Once you step on stage you’re licensed to do that. It’s and understood relationship. You walk on stage – it’s your job.’

*

‘I only ever play Vegas one night at a time.’

*

‘I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.’

*

‘I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.’

*

‘You have this idea that you’d better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous.’

*

‘I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.’

*

‘The idea of having a steady job is appealing.’

*

‘...And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, 'cause you can't drink anymore. You can't come home drunk and go, "Hey, here's a little switch: Daddy's gonna throw up on you!”’

INTERESTING AND INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

'You're only given a little spark of madness, you mustn't lose it.'

*

‘You know what music is? God’s little reminder that there’s something else besides us in this universe; harmonic connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars.’

*

'Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready"
.'

*

‘She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.’

*

‘Reality… what a concept.’

*

‘Good people end up in Hell because they can’t forgive themselves.’

*

‘I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.’

*

'As beatific as Gandhi was, I'm sure there was some guy in a Bombay bar going, "I knew Gandhi . . . he was a prick".'

*

‘In America they really do mythologise people when they die.’

*

‘When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.’

*

‘Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.’

*

'Comedy is acting out optimism.'

*

'No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.'

*

‘What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.’

*

“It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you -- when he comes down from the mountain and you see he's this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead.”

*

‘There is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.’

*

‘Only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.’

*

‘You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.’

*

‘You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.’

*

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

QUOTES FROM
HIS FILMS

Mrs Doubtfire

Mrs Doubtfire: 'He was quite fond of the drink. It was the drink that killed him.'

Miranda: 'How awful. He was an alcoholic?'

Mrs Doubtfire: 'No, he was hit by a Guinness truck.'

*

‘
If there’s love, dear… those are the ties that bind, and you’ll have a family in your heart, forever. All my love to you, poppet. You’re going to be all right. Bye bye.’

*

"My first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flashes!"

Dead Poets Society

‘
Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.’

*

‘We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.’

Death to Smoochy

‘Friends come in all sizes, take it from me! Golly gee, size doesn’t matter, when you want some friendly patter from a pal who is true.’