The Ward

The Ward

Dusty Miller

Copyright 2014 Dusty Miller

This Smashwords Edition was published
by Dusty Miller

Cover design by J. Thornton

ISBN 978-1-927957-07-3

The following is a work of fiction. Any
resemblance to any person living or deceased, or to any places or
events, is purely coincidental. Names, places, settings, characters
and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. The
author’s moral right has been asserted.

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Table of Contents

Scene One

Scene Two

Scene Three

About the Author

The Ward

Dusty Miller

Scene One

There was quite the crowd out there
that day.

Their little conversation was but one
of many. The sudden gusts of wind died for a moment. A ripple of
laughter went through a cluster of people ten feet away, but the
pair was oblivious.

“
You say you love me, but
I never know whether that’s the meds talking or whether it’s you
talking, Ben.”

He couldn’t resent it, although he
might have if anyone else had said it. She really didn’t know much
about him and would dislike him on principle if he told her who he
was and where he was coming from. Rather, where he had
been.

“
The bug-juice is not what
makes me want to take you somewhere nice, and make mad, passionate
love to you. That’s pretty much me talking, Rene. That part is all
me, Rene.”

She looked awfully downcast, afraid to
look him in the eye and maybe see a lie. He didn’t think she was
stupid or anything, not in that sense. But that’s why she wouldn’t
look up, painful as that was to know. Ben just wanted to make her
understand. He knew she liked him in some way, but then she liked
pretty much everybody. Rene didn’t have an evil bone in her body or
a mean cell either. Ben wanted something so much more than that.
She was such a fragile creature and so painfully shy when she was
around Ben. She was more animated with some of the others, even the
guys.

That had to mean
something.

It was a defense mechanism, he
figured. It kept her safe or something. They were all on meds,
every last one of them, and probably most of the staff
too.

It kept her safe from what, exactly?
The only logical answer was guys like him.

“
Please don’t be angry. I
can’t help but have thoughts, Ben.” Rene finally looked up at him,
wide-eyed and innocent, and his pulse pounded just as it ever did
when he was around her.

There was a fully-formed person in
there, there had to be. She’d been a full-grown adult once. Before
she withdrew, from the world, and from life itself. Before she
withdrew from reality.

There was a bigger story here. There
had to be some background. She would tell it in her own time, and
only to the right person.

That was the Rene he sought, the woman
who once was.

That was the person he wanted to
know.

“
Aw. So you really care
what I think, then?” This was a novel thing, in his experience.
“Look. Why don’t we have dinner together? Something intimate, just
you and me. I’ll be a perfect gentleman. I promise. ”

Rene’s face was down. She plucked at a
bit of skin sticking out beside a fingernail. It was red and the
skin was shiny and smooth and swollen.

“
What’s an awful place
like that doing on a nice girl like you?” She looked up and tried
to smile but it faltered.

Face falling, she chewed on her lip,
eyes going back and forth, seeking some escape and yet not taking
it.

There really wasn’t anything stopping
her. He hated to think she might just be trying to be polite,
afraid to offend Ben or hurt his feelings. She really was serious
about something. Maybe she’d heard something. People said all kinds
of stupid things in here, mostly about other people. They also said
some stupid things about themselves. He had something he wanted to
tell her. It was something very personal. People had some
interesting sources of information, and the occasional rumour came
true.

This was something that affected both
of them.

“
It’s okay, Rene.” He
spoke gently. “I’ll just go away, if you would only say
so.”

It would be a hell of a lot less
painful, especially in the long run.

He’d already tried that
one, and she had said
so,
and so he had gone, and at the time, it did seem
to help. As sweet as she was, deep down inside she didn’t trust too
many people. Rightly so, perhaps, considering her looks.

He was drawn to her like a moth to a
flame. She didn’t look too happy when he backed off, at least not
from any distance. She seemed to cheer up when he came around her
again. He had no choice but to risk it. There was no way he could
just forget her and move on. They were both members of a captive
audience.

Ben stood close, practically boxing
Rene in. She had her back to the wall. They wore their coats and
hats, but still had bare legs sticking out at the bottom. Everyone
wore slippers, even out here, even in March. It was to keep them
from running away. You wouldn’t get too far dressed like that on a
day like this.

He just wanted to be close to her and
she didn’t seem to mind all that much. Perhaps it was best if they
could keep their voices low. It might not mean much more than that.
He wished he could read her, but her pages were all blank, or misty
and indistinct. That was it.

She was the most ephemeral person he
had ever met. Therein lay the attraction, maybe.

Where he came from you were either
full of sand, could at least fake some grit, or you didn’t last too
long.

Taking his hand off the glossy-painted
and stipple-toned, painted block wall, he took up both of her
hands, and eased away some so as not to be too dominating. He
wanted her to have a choice. They were eye to eye again.

“
Here, give me
that.”

With parted lips and semi-vacant
expression, she looked up in helpless submission. He took her left
in his right, brought up the second last finger to his mouth and
judiciously took hold of the bit of translucent skin between his
teeth.

“
Thith might hult uh widdo
bid.” She giggled, eyes dancing again.

She had to feel
something
for him. Rene at least tolerated
him for some reason.

He snipped it off with a firm
bite.

“
Ow.” She brought it up to
her mouth and sucked it, the brief pain almost
forgotten.

Now that there was nothing sticking
out to catch on other things, with nothing to irritate it, it would
quickly heal.

“
No. Thank
you,
my
dear.”

She looked up, mystified.

“
Um, you taste good.” He
made a show of chewing something.

She giggled again, looking
down and away. Her eyes came back to his and Rene laughed openly,
slapping Ben lightly on the chest. It meant
something.
He was sure of
that.

She didn’t hate him or
anything.

“
Aw. Go on.” She batted
her eyelashes at him, managing to look hopeless at flirting and yet
so very fetching at the same time.

She knew what he wanted, what all guys
wanted on some level—Ben could hardly deny it. But there was more,
a lot more to that story. That was the part she didn’t seem to get.
There was something in her smile, in the the way her eyes flashed.
There was no guile in her.

That part was real. She was just dying
to trust him, to find some good in him. So far, she hadn’t been
able to bring herself to really trust him. He was amusing enough in
his own way, he supposed, cringing inwardly on the
thought.

He didn’t believe she could ever be
cruel. She simply didn’t have it in her and thank God for that. She
must have been hurt before. It was hard to think of her in that
way. But then, it was also hard to think of her in any other
way.

She had expected little or nothing of
him. It’s just that she was nice to everybody, no matter how
ignorant, or obnoxious. Somehow she remained untainted by the
bitterness that he saw all around. She was the only one he’d ever
met in a place like this who didn’t spew out their story pretty
much on first acquaintance.

Some of the other males were downright
grabby. There were one or two of them in here right now. He
wondered how she’d fared. But he was here and they were still in
check somehow.

He wanted to be better than
that.

He did not want to be like
them.

He wanted to get Rene out of
there.

“
So what do you say? Come
on, it’ll be nice. We’ll get away from this stinkin’ crowd, at
least for a little while.”

“
Jeez, I don’t know,
Ben—”

He stepped in closer, putting his head
down and butting the top of her head with his forehead.

He held her lightly by the
elbows.

She snickered, hands up on his chest
but not pushing him away.

He took her arms, one at a time, and
put them around himself. She didn’t tear herself away. He swayed
from side to side at the hips, humming a little tune, feeling the
warmth of her against him. He watched that lovely face from above.
She just didn’t know what to do, maybe. She was all too suggestible
and he feared for her for just that reason. He feared for his own
soul at times like this. They had necked a bit, once or twice, and
then Rene got real shy. She avoided him for a day or two and then
Rene had reluctantly allowed him in closer again. He was taking
that one step at a time. He didn’t want her fear—that was the worst
thing. It was the worst sort of man as well. Looming large above
her, he hugged her as gently as possible. He lifted her chin. He
stared into those nervous eyes, and just nodded.

She licked her lips and looked deathly
frightened. Yet she couldn’t tear herself away. She was completely
passive. That’s one of the things he found really scary about Rene.
She was too uninvolved in her own surroundings, and in her own
fate.

All she had to do was to tell him to
go away, and he would go away. He hoped she understood
that.

“
Look, I can’t help it. I
like you, Rene.” It was like laying a big guilt trip on
her.

As soon as he realized it, he shut
up.

He was being unfair.

If only she liked him. For some reason
he didn’t know—wasn’t sure.

He could never be sure.

She was in the habit of leaving it all
up to others, and the problem was that he liked her too much to
take it on those terms.

Ben thought she must have
been a victim at some point. She might have been a victim many
times, and yet it didn’t seem to define her in any way. She never
referred to it—she was just
gone,
somehow.

There was always the future—there was
always hope.

Ben knew a thing or two about
hope.

“
Oh, Rene.” He kissed the
bridge of her nose, as her eyes darted back and forth.