Authors: Cao Xueqin
Er-jie smiled.
âIf I behave correctly towards her, I don't see why she should do me any harm.'
âListen, madam,' said Joker. âI'm not saying this to you because I've had too much to drink, but when she sees that you are both prettier and more popular than she is, she's not going to let matters rest. They call jealous people “vinegar bottles”, don't they? Well, she's not just a bottle-full of vinegar; she's a storage-jar â a whole cistern-full of it! The master's only got to rest his eyes on one of the maids, and she'll find occasion to have that poor girl beaten until she looks like a boiled sheep's head. Miss Patience is supposed to be his chamber-wife, but I doubt she lets him sleep with her more than once in a year. And even then she'll go on and on about it afterwards until she's reduced Patience to tears. “I didn't want to do it,” says Patience, “you made me. When I said I didn't want to, you told me I was wicked and disobedient, but now that I've done it, you keep picking on me.” After that she makes it up with Patience and begs to be forgiven.'
âThat
can't
be true,' said Er-jie. âIf she's really the harpy you say she is, how could she possibly be frightened of a mere chamber-wife?'
âBecause Patience has reason on her side,' said Joker. âIt's like the proverb says: “Three men with a carrying-pole can't shift Reason from its place.” Patience has been with the mistress since she was a little girl. There were four maids that came with the mistress when she married, but only Patience stayed on with her. The other three either died or got married. The mistress gave her to the master to be his chamber-wife partly because she wanted to show everyone what a virtuous wife she was and partly because she thought it would be a way of binding him to her. Miss Patience is a really good sort. She's not the sort of person to go looking for trouble, and she's always been good and true to the mistress. That's why the mistress always makes it up with her.'
âI see,' said Er-jie. âBut haven't I heard that there are a young widow and a number of young ladies in the family? If your mistress is as awful as you say she is, how comes it that these other ones let her get away with it?'
Joker clapped his hands together and laughed.
âBecause the “young widow” you're talking about â that's our Mrs Zhu â is a saint. The nickname we servants give her is “Lady Gwanyin”. She doesn't as a rule have anything to do with household matters. She spends all her time teaching the young ladies writing and broidering and book-learning. That's
her
job. She
has
done a bit of household managing since the mistress fell ill, but even now she doesn't interfere very much: just follows the rules, very quiet and ladylike â no throwing her weight about or showing off how clever she is like the other one. Of the young ladies, the eldest one â well, I suppose she must be a good âun to have been so favoured. The second one â that's the master's sister â we call her “Miss Doddyblock”. She'd probably forget to say “oh” if you stuck a pin in her. The third â Master Bao's younger sister â we call “The Rose”â'
âWhy do you call her that?' the You sisters asked simultaneously.
âSweet and pretty and everyone loves her, but she has a thorn,' said Joker. âThe great pity about
her
is that she's not Her Ladyship's child. A phoenix reared in a crow's nest, that's what
she
is. The fourth young lady is really Mr Zhen's sister, but Her Ladyship brought her over to our mansion when she was still a baby and brought her up there with the others. She's a big girl now, but still pays no attention to what goes on around her, no more than the second one. Then besides our four there are two other young ladies that you probably won't have heard about â both very, very beautiful. One is Sir Zheng's sister's child. Her name is Miss Lin. Though she's so beautiful, she's very thin and weakly. The other is Her Ladyship's sister's child. Her name is Miss Xue.'
âMiss Wood and Miss Snow,' said Er-jie, smiling.
âIf we ever meet them on their way through the courtyard or getting into their carriages when they go out,' said Joker, âwe none of us dare to breathe.'
âOf course,' said Er-jie. âA great household like yours is sure to be very strict about such matters. Though young boys like you would be allowed into the courtyards, you would
naturally be expected to keep your distance when the young ladies are about.'
âNo, no, no,' said Joker, waving his hand energetically. âThat's not the reason we're afraid to breathe. We're afraid that if we breathed out too hard, we might blow Miss Lin over and cause Miss Xue to melt!'
The three You ladies, the Mattress and the two maids all burst out laughing.
But who
was
it that San-jie wanted to marry? This will be revealed (if you want to know) in the following chapter.
Shame drives a warm-hearted young woman to take her life And shock leads a cold-hearted young gentleman to renounce the world
Our last chapter concluded with Joker's female audience laughing at the notion of Miss Wood's being blown down and Miss Snow melted by the breathing-out of the pages. The Mattress dealt him a playful box on the ear.
âThere may be some truth in what you say; but your way of telling things turns even good sense into nonsense,' she said. âYou are more like one of Bao-yu's boys than one of the Master's.'
Er-jie was about to ask another question, but San-jie got in first.
âYes now, about Bao-yu: what does he
do â
apart from going to school?'
Joker laughed.
âDon't ask about him, Miss! You'd never believe half of it if I told you. To begin with, although he's such a big fellow now, he's never had what you might call a proper schooling. Everyone in the family since his great-grandfather's time, including the Master, had to do their ten years in the family school; but not him. Bao-yu doesn't
like
study; so because he is Her Old Ladyship's darling, that's that. Sir Zheng used to try and do something with him, but that was soon put a stop to by Her Old Ladyship. Nowadays he spends the whole of his time just fooling around. You can't understand what he's talking about half the time, and you can't make any sense of what he does. He
looks
bright enough, and people always assume from his looks that he must be clever; but underneath it he's stupid. You can tell he must be stupid from the fact that he never has a word to say for himself when he meets anyone. I'll give him this, though: although he doesn't go to
school, he
can
write a bit. That's about the only thing he's any good at. He doesn't study, he doesn't care for physical training, and he doesn't like meeting people. He just spends all his time playing around with a pack of maids. He's soft, too. Sometimes when he sees us, if he's in the mood, he'll play with us as if he were an equal. Other times he ignores us and we ignore him. If we're sitting down or lying down when he comes by, we don't get up for him; we just take no notice. He doesn't care. Nobody's afraid of him. We do just what we like when he's around. He never stops us.'
âYou talk like this about someone who is easy-going with you,' said San-jie, âyet you complain just as much about someone who is strict. One can see that you are difficult people to employ!'
âI always thought Bao-yu looked so nice,' said Er-jie. âHow disappointing to learn that there is really nothing in him after all!'
âYou surely don't believe the rubbish this boy has been talking, sister?' said San-jie impatiently. âWe have, after all, seen Bao-yu several times ourselves. I suppose you could call him effeminate. Whether he is eating or talking or moving about, there is certainly something rather girlish about his manner. That comes from spending nearly all his time in the women's quarters with no other males around. But stupid? I hardly think he can be called that. Don't you remember when we were still in mourning, that time we were standing watching the monks as they went round the coffin and he stood right in front of us? Everyone said how ill-mannered it was of him and how inconsiderate. But then afterwards he quietly came up to us and explained: “I hope you didn't think it very inconsiderate of me to stand in front of you like that,” he said, “but I noticed how dirty some of those monks were and I was afraid that the smell of them might distress you.” Then shortly after that, when he was drinking some tea and you said you'd like some too, he stopped one of the old women from emptying the slops out of his cup and filling it up again for you. “No, no,” he said, “that's dirty! You must wash it first before you pour her any.” Just on the strength of those two incidents I think you ought in fairness to agree that,
when he is with girls at any rate, he is perfectly capable. People fail to find out what he is really like because they are put off by his manner.'
âTo hear you speak, it sounds as if the two of you would get on very well together,' said Er-jie. âI think we
ought
to betroth you to him. Why not?'
San-jie was prevented from answering by Joker's presence. She merely looked down and occupied herself by cracking a melon-seed between her teeth.
âThey'd make a fine pair,' said Joker, âwhether from the point of view of looks or of character. The only thing is, he's got someone else already. Although it hasn't been made official yet, it's as good as certain that he's going to marry Miss Lin. The reason they haven't been properly engaged yet is because Miss Lin is so often ill, and also because they are still a bit on the young side; but two or three years from now, as soon as Her Old Ladyship gives the word, they are sure to be.'
They were still discussing this when Rich arrived with a message from Jia Lian.
âSir She is sending the Master to Ping-an in a few days' time on important secret business. He'll probably be away for fifteen or sixteen days. He can't come back here tonight, but he says, Mrs You, will you and the Mistress get that business you know about settled, so that when he comes tomorrow, he'll know what he has to do?'
Having delivered this message, he went back again, taking Joker with him. Er-jie had the gate closed after them and retired early for the night, a good part of which she spent in extracting the required information from her sister.
Jia Lian did not arrive until after noon next day. Er-jie expressed concern that he had come at all.
âIf you have something important to do, you don't need to put yourself in a rush by coming here. I should hate to be the cause of your starting late.'
âIt isn't anything really important,' said Jia Lian, âjust a job that needs doing which happens to be rather far away. I shall have to leave by the beginning of next month and it will be about half a month before I get back.'
âWell, while you are away, just concentrate on the job,' said Er-jie. âYou don't have to worry about anything here. We shall be perfectly all right. San-jie isn't the sort of girl to change her mind overnight and she has definitely chosen her man now. I think you will have to go along with her choice.'
âAh yes,' said Jia Lian. âWho is it?'
âSomeone who may not be available at present, in which case it's anyone's guess when he will be back,' she smiled. âI must admit, she has a very good eye. And she says that she is prepared to wait as long as it will take â ten years if necessary. If by any chance he's dead or for some reason or other can't
ever
come, she says she will cut her hair off and become a nun. She would rather spend the rest of her life in prayer and fasting than marry anyone else.'
âWell, come on!' said Jia Lian. âWho
is
this person who has made such a powerful impression on her?'
âIt's a long story,' said Er-jie. âFive years ago my mother took us both with her to her old home for my grandmother's birthday. The family had invited a troupe of amateur actors for the occasion, all young men of good family. The one who played the junior male lead was called Liu Xiang-lian.
He
is the only man my sister is prepared to marry. Last year he got himself into some sort of trouble and had to go into hiding, and we don't know whether he's out of it yet or not.'
âSo that's who it is!' said Jia Lian. âNo wonder she is so keen. Yes, she certainly has a good eye. There's something you probably don't know about him, though. Young Liu is a very handsome young man, but he's an awfully cold fish. He has very few real friends. Bao-yu is probably the person he gets on best with. He took himself off somewhere or other last year after beating up that oaf Xue Pan â I suppose because he wanted to avoid meeting us. I haven't seen him since then. Someone did tell me that they'd heard he was back, but it may have been only a rumour. I can easily find out by asking one of Bao-yu's pages. â But suppose it
is
only a rumour. He's such a rolling stone, it may be years before he comes back again. Won't it be rather a waste for her to put off marrying for so long?'
âWhen our San-jie says she's going to do something, she
does it,' said Er-jie. âI think you will have to go along with her.'
They were interrupted at this point by San-jie herself, who had evidently been listening to their conversation and chose this moment to come into the room.
âSet your mind at rest, brother-in-law. I am not one of those people who say one thing and mean another; I really do mean what I say. If Liu turns up, I shall marry him. From now on and until he does I shall spend all my time praying, fasting and looking after Mamma. If he has still not turned up when Mamma is no longer here to look after, I shall go into a convent.'
She drew a jade hairpin from her hair and deliberately broke it in two.
âSo be it with me if I do not do exactly as I have sworn!'
She went straight back to her room then; and from that day onwards her conduct was indeed exemplary.
Jia Lian could see that he had no choice but to fall in with her wishes, and after a brief discussion of domestic matters with Er-jie, went home for further discussions with Xi-feng about the preparations for his journey. While at home he sent someone to ask Tealeaf about Liu Xiang-lian.
âI'm afraid I don't know,' said Tealeaf. âI should think he probably hasn't come back yet. If he had, I should almost certainly have got to hear about it.'
Inquiries made among Xiang-lian's neighbours confirmed that he had not returned. Jia Lian was obliged to report back to Er-jie that he had drawn a blank.
A little before he was due to begin his journey, Jia Lian took leave of Xi-feng and the family, but only in order to spend his last two nights with Er-jie. He found San-jie so altered on this visit as to seem almost a different person. Er-jie, too, showed herself so careful and competent in her management of the little household that he could see there would be no need to worry about either of them while he was away.
Jia Lian left the city early on the day of his departure and thereafter followed the main road to Ping-an, putting up at some staging-post or hostelry each night and making shorter stops for meals and refreshments during the day. After two
days of uneventful travelling he came, on the third day, upon a little caravan moving towards him along the road ahead consisting of a number of pack-animals and some ten or so horsemen, of whom the leading two appeared to be masters and the rest servants. As they drew near enough for him to make out their faces, Jia Lian saw with astonishment that the two leading horsemen were Xue Pan and Liu Xiang-lian and urged his horse forwards to meet them. After greetings and the customary generalities had been exchanged, the three of them went into a near-by inn to sit down together and talk. Jia Lian asked the question that had been puzzling him.
âAfter your little incident last year, the rest of us were anxious to make it up between you, but young Liu seemed to have disappeared without a trace. How do you come to be together now?'
âIt's a very strange story,' said Xue Pan. âMy boys and I finished selling our stuff off in the spring and we've been on our homeward journey ever since. Everything was going quite smoothly until a couple of days ago. Then just as we were approaching Ping-an, we ran into a gang of robbers who took away all our things. But just at that very moment up pops young Xiang-lian out of nowhere, drives off the robbers, gets all our stuff back for us, and saves our lives. He refused to let me thank him, but in the end he agreed that we should become blood-brothers. We've been travelling together ever since. From now on we're going to be just like real brothers to each other. He's leaving me at the next crossroads and going off sixty or seventy miles south of here to look up an aunt of his, while I go on ahead to the capital. When I've settled my own affairs, I'm going to find a new house for him and fix him up with a nice little wife, and we're both going to settle down and be family men.'
âI see,' said Jia Lian. âWell, I'm glad to hear it. It's a pity we had all that worry for nothing.'
He paused a moment before continuing.
âYou said something a moment ago about finding young Liu a wife. I happen to know of someone who would suit him perfectly.'
He proceeded to tell the other two about his own marriage
to Er-jie and how they were anxious to find a husband for her younger sister, omitting to mention, of course, that San-jie had chosen Liu Xiang-lian herself.
âDon't say anything about this to the others when you get home,' he told Xue Pan. âI'm waiting until we have a son. I shall tell them about it then.'
Xue Pan seemed delighted.
âHigh time, too!' he said. âCousin Feng is to blame for not giving you one.'
“There you go again!' said Xiang-lian, laughing. âYou mustn't say things like that to people. Better keep your big mouth shut!'
Xue Pan obediently fell silent, merely observing, before he did so:
âWe ought to take Lian up on his suggestion, though.'
âI'd always set my heart on marrying a stunningly beautiful girl,' said Xiang-lian. âHowever, since you both recommend this one, I'm prepared to lower my expectations a bit. Yes, all right, Mr Jia. I leave it to you to arrange this, then. I put myself in your hands.'
âI don't ask you to believe this now,' said Jia Lian, smiling. âYou'll be able to judge for yourself when you see her: but this sister-in-law of mine
is
a stunningly beautiful girl. I should go so far as to say she must be one of the most beautiful women who have ever lived.'
Xiang-lian brightened.
âAll right, then. Shall we fix it up when I get back to the capital in about a month's time, when I have finished seeing my aunt?'
âIf you and I were the only ones involved, I would gladly leave it at that,' said Jia Lian, âbut knowing how unpredictable your movements are, I can't help feeling a little nervous on the girl's behalf. Suppose you failed to turn up? It could mean a whole lifetime wasted. I think you ought to give me some sort of pledge.'
âA gentleman's word ought to be pledge enough,' said Xiang-lian. âIn any case, I'm always hard up; I'm not in a position to give you a betrothal gift â particularly when I am on the road like this, away from home.'