The Watchers (19 page)

Chapter 9

When I woke up, it took me a minute to
understand why I felt so overwhelmed. I remembered the fire that
had surged out of nowhere and the way Daniel had saved me. I
remembered both kisses he had stolen and a bubble of warmth settled
into my stomach.

Then I remembered the visions of him.

I sat up with panic racing in my chest. One
vision in particular had haunted me, invading my dreams. I had
woken up because of it. It was the vision of Daniel turning into
one of those dark demons. In my dream, I had felt all his fear
again, made worse by my own fear.

I set my feet on the cold floor, willing the
panic to fade from my chest. The wind gusted as the house creaked
and popped in protest. Rain lashed against the glass panes of my
dark windows. Outside, a storm was raging out of control. Scared of
shadows, the dream haunting me, I wrapped the blanket Daniel had
placed around me more tightly and tiptoed across to the stairs. I
crept down the stairs and went to Ellen’s room. Quietly, so I
wouldn’t disturb her, I pushed back her bedroom door and peered in.
She was snoring gently and mumbling incoherently into her pillow.
The shadows from the swaying trees outside played on the delicate
angles of her face, but she was peaceful. Seeing her there was
wonderful, normal, it calmed some of the panic in my chest. Making
up my mind, I put my blanket in the chair by the window and crawled
under the covers with her.

Her arms wrapped around me as I settled in
close. “You okay, sweetie?” she asked sleepily.

“I am now.”

“That’s good,” she mumbled.

I smiled when she snuggled closer and gave a
sleepy grunt. It wasn’t long before she drifted off again, her
dreams peaceful. I tried to clear my mind, focusing on the peace of
her dreams, but the panic was resilient.

Even though I had spent most of my life
running at the first sign of danger, I had come to develop a
certain level of control over that form of living. I was used to
it; it made sense. That world of running was spiraling out of
control now, and I didn’t know what to do about it; especially
since it was spiraling out of control for a very strange reason. It
wasn’t because of the strange fire. It wasn’t the fact that Daniel
was the first person I’d met who was like me. It was because I knew
he wasn’t just a friend anymore. The panic in my chest at fearing
he would turn into a demon, the way I wanted to protect him...those
feelings were just too real. Weirdness aside, I had fallen head
over heels for that stupid, football-playing angel.

Even though I had seen the intensity of his
emotions for me, I wasn’t certain if the vision was real or if it
could be a lie. If it hadn’t been a lie, I wasn’t certain I could
let someone have that much power over me. Ellen’s love had power,
but I knew from years of experience she wouldn’t just leave me. Her
love was forever. She had proven beyond a doubt she would love me
even if I was a freaky mind-reading half-angel.

My father was a different story. Ellen had
given him her heart, and he had returned the favor by tearing it
out. Isn’t that, above all the other reasons, why I hated him? I
saw the love Ellen had for him, and I saw how hard she struggled
against the pain his leaving had caused. Even if things worked out
with Sam, if they were happy for the rest of time, my father would
always have a piece of Ellen’s heart. She would always be just a
little bit less. I knew that if I gave Daniel my heart, he could do
the same thing to me. I didn’t want that for myself. I didn’t want
someone owning my heart I couldn’t trust. Was it in our nature to
walk away? Was it in Daniel’s nature?

I thought over my weeks with Daniel. Was it
even possible to feel this intensely in so short a time? Was it
just gratitude for him saving my life? I started stroking Ellen’s
hair to calm my racing thoughts, taking comfort in the familiar
action. I tried to think about it logically, going over every day,
every minute we had been together. I thought about our bickering,
our playful, intense, conversations, Daniel teaching me about cars,
arguing about philosophy, books and ideas, our time hanging out at
the café, and going on long walks around town. I analyzed every
second, trying to be honest with myself. It wasn’t just gratitude
that had me feeling this way. It was more.

I scowled at the ceiling. Who was he to make
me feel this way? The anger bounced around my head like some
horrible, emotional ping pong ball. I felt so damned dependent
suddenly. I sighed in exasperation and watched the play of light
from the trees on the wall. I couldn’t decide if when I saw him
next I would kiss him or hit him. Both were extremely
appealing.

Morning dawned slow and dim. The only thing
that kept me from getting out of the bed and throwing anything in
reach was the fact that I would see Daniel today; he would come by
after Ellen left for work. As I lay in bed, watching the murky
light spread across the wood floor, my nervousness growing with
every inch the sun spread, Ellen’s eyes popped open like someone
had blown in her ear.

“Morning, sweetie.”

“Good morning.”

She touched my face, her eyes full of worry.
“I didn’t get to talk to you last night…are you okay? You weren’t
hurt, right?”

“No, I wasn’t hurt.” A vision of Daniel
throwing me into the pool floated across my eyes. I definitely
hadn’t been hurt.

“What happened?”
Something scary happened; I can see it in her eyes. What is
she keeping from me? She never keeps things from me.

I stared at her even as half-truths popped
into my head. She was right. Ellen and I shared everything, and I
was keeping a secret that could get us both killed. I took a deep
breath then sat up, pushing my back against the headboard for
support. I tried to think of the best way to handle this. Looking
in her warm, chocolate eyes I knew I couldn’t keep things from her.
She had to know.

I told her everything, every dangerous
detail, not glossing over anything. She listened in silence, though
I could hear her thoughts working overtime. Finally, the thoughts
died down and she took a deep breath, surprising me with her calm.
“I trust you, Clare. I trust that you know people. If you think
Daniel’s dangerous we will leave right this second, no questions
asked.”
We’ve left for less.

What
did
I think?

“I don’t think he’s dangerous, not in that
way. I mean, I know he doesn’t work for the others but…”

The only thing I
had
glossed over during my explanation was the
fact that Daniel had kissed me, twice, and that I had seen the
vision of him. I wasn’t comfortable telling her about that, only
mentioning how he had breathed for me.

“I don’t know where…”

“You’re worried about that fire and the
thoughts you’ve been overhearing?” she asked.

“Yeah...”

“But Daniel protected you,” she said
tentatively. “Would he do it again? We’ve never actually met anyone
like you, Clare. One that wasn’t bad. This could be an opportunity
for you. You know how little…how little your father told me. You
could learn what to expect on your birthday. And, if Daniel were
willing to look out for you…I would be willing to stay.”

Images of Sam’s face, of Alex’s face, of
friends she had started to reconnect with floated through my head.
I ignored the images, determined to do whatever was safe. I had to
make sure Ellen didn’t get hurt just because of me.

“I don’t want to be protected, Mom. Besides,
what if he doesn’t want to protect us? What if he has a change of
heart? What then?”

“A change of heart?”

I clamped my lips shut. I hadn’t meant to say
that.

“It’s okay to let people in,” she said.

I started playing with my necklace. “I just
don’t want to end up…”

“Like me?” I could hear the pain in her
voice.

“Well…yes,” I told her honestly.

“You need to stop thinking like that… Your
father left for us.” She sat up. “He left so we could be safe.
After I got attacked…”

“What!?” I exclaimed.

“Oh…I didn’t tell you that…I was attacked one
night when I was walking home from work. That was when I was
pregnant with you and living with Naomi.” Naomi was the first
friend Ellen had made after running away from home. Together, they
had hitched rides out to Los Angeles where Naomi had a very
understanding grandmother. We went to visit Naomi whenever we
could, and they talked on the phone weekly. She was like an aunt to
me. “It was very sudden, I didn’t know what had happened until it
was over…They took my blood.” Ellen rubbed her belly. “Our
blood.”

I was stunned Ellen had been attacked and had
never told me. I was even more stunned she had been able to keep
the attack from her mind. That was something a person thought about
occasionally, right?

“My father left because you got attacked?
Doesn’t that seem contrary? If he loved you, he should have
stayed,” I said pugnaciously, not ready to give up sixteen years of
bitter resentment and hate.

“He did what he had to,” she said simply. “I
love him, but I knew from the beginning we could never be together
the way I wanted to be.”

“But why would anyone want your blood?” I
shied away from saying “my blood.”

“I don’t know. Your father didn’t know,
either.”

I sighed. “Why is it I just keep getting
questions piled on the list instead of answers?”

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” She touched my face
“But I want you to stop hating him so much. Love…love comes in a
lot of forms.” She threw back her large comforter not wanting to
talk anymore. “I have to get ready for work.” She hesitated then
added, “Unless you want me to stay home with you? Sam would
understand.”

“No, I’m fine,” I said quickly. “Did they
cancel school?” I asked wondering how she knew I would be staying
home.

“No, but I think you’ve earned a day off for
almost dying.”

“Thanks!” I said sarcastically.

She kissed me on the cheek, telling me in her
thoughts how glad she was that I was safe. Warmed by her love, I
got out of the bed to give her some privacy and went downstairs.
Not able to control my restless energy, I pulled down the pancake
mix, thinking I could kill two birds with one, delicious stone. By
the time Ellen came down, wearing a blue suit that looked stunning
against her pale skin, I’d made enough pancakes to feed a
regiment.

“Hungry?” she asked.

“Starving,” I replied, stuffing my face.

She ate in a great rush, our talk having put
her behind schedule. Food hanging out of her mouth she ran out the
door. “See you later!”

“Wait for it…” I said to the bowl of pancake
batter that dripped uncooked batter onto the counter. The clock
turned over a couple of seconds. I heard the door reopen.

“Clare, have you seen my phone?”

I picked up Ellen’s phone from its place on
the counter and put my hand around the corner of the door. She ran
down the hall and plucked it from my fingers.

“Thanks!”

The door shut with a bang. As soon as it
shut, the tension I felt boiled over, filling my stomach with
butterflies. How long would I have to wait for Daniel? I had
learned he was compulsively early, showing up a good fifteen
minutes early to even the most minor event. Whether it was to the
movies, a study date, or to simply hang out, he was always there
before it was time. I washed the breakfast dishes then paced the
length of the kitchen. I hadn’t actually told Daniel what time
Ellen went to work. Did he know when to come over? I sat down at
the table and started tapping impatiently on the light colored
wood. I stopped when I realized I had adapted his bad habit.

I waited impatiently for over an hour,
alternating between sitting and pacing. The rain stopped, wayward
droplets falling from the trees in response to animals scurrying
along their branches. Patchy sunlight filtered down through the
rolling clouds. Each shift in the light was an eternity. I opened
the kitchen window, thinking the sweet smell of rain-drenched earth
would help my nerves. It just made me feel more impatient.

It was past time for me to go to school when
I realized that Daniel wasn’t coming. I had embarrassed him or
offended him or in some way made him feel like I didn’t care for
him. I thought about the way I had told him to leave. I cursed my
stupidity, my foolish mouth. I stood again and walked around the
table in an endless circle recalling every stupid thing I had
said.

I practically jumped out of my skin
when I heard the door open softly and footsteps crossed the hall. I
ran to the kitchen door. My heart pounded excitedly; he’d come
after all! For the first time since meeting her, I was disappointed
to see Alex. Her welcome smile slowly turned into a frown as she
stared at my face.
What in the
world?
“What’s wrong?”

I answered without thinking. “Have you ever
seen ‘Sixteen Candles’?”

“About a million times. It’s my favorite
movie.”

I’d known that when I asked my question.

“You know the scene when Molly Ringwald is
crying in the car and Anthony Michael Hall comes in and sees her
utterly devastated over a boy?”

“Yes.”

“Multiply that by a million, and you’ve only
touched the surface of where I’m at,” I said, not able to pretend
any longer.

“What…” A thought occurred to her, and she
interrupted herself. “Wait, does that make me Anthony Michael
Hall?”

I put my hands over my face and sat. “I don’t
know,” I groaned.

She sat next to me, her thoughts trying
to play catch up to what I was telling her.
This has to be about Daniel!
Her thoughts turned
smug.
She does like him! But what happened?
Did they have a fight? I mean a real fight. Not those ridiculous
fights they have… Hmm…The way she’s acting she must have done
something wrong? But what?