The Way We Were (20 page)

‘I've been interfering,' she murmured remorsefully to Archie, whose shade she felt might be hovering accusingly. ‘You were always warning me about interfering. It's not that I think I know best. It's just such utter hell watching the young walking blindly into trouble.'

Chris was already at his desk when Liv arrived in the office. He looked at her warily. He recognized the brittle mood she'd been in all day and guessed that something was worrying her. His own feelings for her – tenderness, affection, mingled now with an odd sense of guilt – made it difficult for him to be natural with her. Liv, unwittingly, came to his rescue.

‘I'm fed up,' she said, sitting down at her desk and putting her elbows on it. ‘I'm furious with Andy.'

Chris was ludicrously relieved; at least it was nothing to do with him or Val. ‘What's Andy up to?' he asked cheerfully. The relationship between Liv and Andy had always amused him. They were fiercely loyal to each other but competitive, too; each reserving the right to criticize the other's life yet very open about their own affairs.

‘Does Andy have to know everything about us?' he'd asked Liv once, way back in the early stages of their relationship.

‘Oh, I don't tell him everything,' she'd answered airily. ‘Only the bits that I think will interest him.'

‘I'm not sure that I find that particularly comforting,' he'd murmured.

‘It's nothing really,' Liv said moodily now. ‘It's just that I hate the beastly girl he's taken up with. The whole family hates her. And her mother. He's being stupid and disloyal.'

Chris couldn't help smiling. ‘How old is he?' he asked. ‘Thirty-one? Thirty-two? Isn't he old enough to choose his own girlfriends?'

‘Age has got nothing to do with it. She's just very bad news. Aunt Em feels the same about her.'

‘Does she?' He was surprised. Liv's Aunt Em gave him the impression of being a very well-balanced woman. ‘What's wrong with this girl?'

‘It's family history' Liv said reluctantly. ‘Private stuff.'

He could see that she was longing to confide and he wondered if he should push it a bit, tell her she could trust him, but before he could speak the door opened and Val came in. He could see that she was still on a high, though he knew that it wasn't simply because of the praise she'd received earlier from the visitors. It was much more than that: she'd overborne his caution and they'd embarked on a new and exciting journey.

‘Don't tell Liv we're trying for a baby' she'd cautioned him. ‘I don't want anybody to know yet.'

He hadn't needed the warning; he had no desire to tell Liv the news. He had the oddest feeling that he was somehow betraying her, though the idea was ridiculous. He knew, looking at Val, that this shiny bright mood was all to do with winning and being in a new position of power. She was already displaying ‘I am a pregnant woman' symptoms, which he felt touching and irritating by turns, depending on how much of a power struggle was involved at the time.

‘I was just thinking about Saturday,' Val was saying. ‘I'd forgotten that you're going to see Zack and Caroline tomorrow evening, aren't you, Liv, and staying the night? We've got two changeovers the morning after, and I suddenly wondered how we'll cope.'

Chris felt a tug of irritation. This was so typical of Val: an attempt at manipulation, a private hinting to him that she might already be in a delicate condition and that the extra work shouldn't fall to her. What did she want him to do: forbid Liv to go out?

‘It's fine,' Liv was saying, not at all put out. ‘I'd already thought of that. Myra's sister is coming up to help. No problems.'

‘Oh.' Val looked disconcerted. ‘Oh, well then.' She gave a short, rather artificial laugh. ‘As long as we can afford the extra labour.'

Chris was angry now. ‘I doubt that paying Myra's sister for a few hours will break the bank,' he said coolly. He picked up his telephone rather pointedly, pulled a file towards him, and Val shrugged and went out.

Liv was still sitting, elbows on desk, chin in hands, and he smiled at her awkwardly, apologetically She smiled back at him, understanding, and he was seized with a deep, simple and overwhelming affection for her.

1976

The family return from their holiday, and Tiggy and the dogs are delighted to see them. The twins and Charlie are glad to be home and settle happily into their routines, Pete goes daily to the dockyard where a new captain is about to join the submarine, and a new pattern emerges that is very similar to the old one but with small significant differences. Tiggy makes an effort to be alert to Pete's presence, and tactful when he and Julia have time together and the children are in bed, but their natural acceptance of her makes it very simple and she begins to feel as if she might be a sibling, truly one of the family, and relaxes a little.

She takes Julia to see the cottage, whilst Aunt Em minds Charlie and the twins, and they quietly discuss its merits and its disadvantages.

‘It really all depends on where I can find a job,' says Tiggy sitting on the long, orange-cove red G Plan sofa. ‘If I can get one in the town then this is a good place to be. I might be able to work the lunchtime shift in one of the pubs. Uncle Archie's got his ear to the ground. The size I am now, nobody takes me seriously when I go in and ask for a job.'

‘I can believe that,' agrees Julia, poking around in the small but well set-up kitchen behind the Formica breakfast bar, ‘but I hoped you might be a bit nearer to us.'

‘So did I. I phoned the local pubs but they don't need anybody and I can't find any cottages for rent around St Breward or Blisland.'

‘Does it have to be a pub?'

‘The hours are more flexible and my brief experience shows me that they don't ask so many questions. Of course, a bit later I hope to get back into teaching – but who knows?'

‘How long before you have to say yes or no?'

‘Oh, a few weeks yet. Aunt Em says that there will be loads of people after it if I don't want it so there's no great pressure.'

‘In that case we'll have a really good scour around nearer to home,' Julia says.

Pete comes home one hot June evening in a very grumpy mood.

‘The new captain has decided that he wants a work-up,' he says, pouring himself a gin and tonic. ‘Give us all a chance to shake down together, he says. That means a month in Scottish waters. Everyone's really fed up.'

‘Oh, no.' Julia lights a cigarette. ‘Oh, darling, what a bore.'

He glances irritably at her cigarette, as if he is looking for an excuse for a quarrel. ‘I thought you'd given up,' he says tetchily. ‘You said you would.'

‘I nearly have,' says Julia. ‘Except at moments like these. The kids will be really upset.'

‘Then don't mention it just yet,' says Pete. ‘I can't hack them giving me grief about it. Oh, by the way, I saw Martin in
Drake
today. He and Angela have invited us to dinner.'

There is a little silence. Tiggy, glancing at Julia, sees that her cheeks are brightly flushed and that she draws very deliberately on her cigarette before she answers.

‘What did you say?' she asks abruptly.

Pete shrugs. He seems ill at ease and his tone is truculent when he answers. ‘I said I didn't see why not but that I'd check with you. It's next Saturday and we haven't got anything planned as far as I know. It's Martin's birthday so it's going to be a really big thrash. I assumed that Tiggy wouldn't mind baby-sitting.'

He glances at her and she assumes a willing but non-committal expression, not wishing to upset Julia who still stares at the tip of her cigarette.

‘I suppose we shall have to go,' she says at last.

‘Well, don't sound so thrilled.' Pete finishes his drink. ‘I'm going to have a bath.'

He goes out of the kitchen, through the hall and into the sitting-room, and Tiggy and Julia hear the children greeting him with cries of welcome.

‘I suppose she can't be too awful at a party,' Tiggy ventures at last.

Julia looks as if she might burst into angry tears. ‘Angela can be awful anywhere,' she says.

On the night of the party, Tiggy goes to bed before Julia and Pete arrive home and rises early next morning so as to make sure the children don't bother them. Julia looks preoccupied and tired when she appears in the kitchen seeking coffee; Pete stays in bed very late and, when he eventually gets up, he goes off with the dogs, not inviting anyone to go with him and thus incurring the wrath of Liv and Andy.

They chant ‘Pee po piddle bum' and begin one of their tiresome duets:
‘Why
is Daddy so mean … ?' ‘Yes, but
why
is he … ?' until Julia shouts at them, silencing the twins and making Charlie cry.

‘Sorry' she says wretchedly. ‘Sorry, darlings. That's what happens when mummies go to bed too late. It's OK, Charlie. Do shut up, there's a good boy.'

She smiles at Tiggy, who is looking as anxious as the twins. ‘It's nothing. But … well, you know how she is.'

‘Who?' asks Liv curiously. ‘Who are you talking about?'

‘Nobody,' says Julia. ‘Nothing. Who wants to help me make pastry for lunch?'

Pete returns and makes a great effort to entertain the children: he helps them to erect a tent on the lawn and creates some rough but adequate furniture out of old tea-chests. A camp bed is set up and covered with a tartan blanket and some cushions, the little Merlin is placed on the table for an ornament, and Bella allows her basket to be carried out and put by the door flap so as to lend an authentic homely note. Tea is to be eaten in the tent; even Charlie is welcomed in. Tiggy, coming into the kitchen to fetch some Ribena for the twins, finds Pete with his arm about an unyielding Julia with whom he seems to be pleading. Tiggy backs out hastily and hovers around near the front door until presently Pete comes out of the kitchen and goes upstairs. When she ventures back into the kitchen, Julia is standing quite still, staring out into the garden. Tiggy slips her hand under Julia's arm and Julia presses it against her side with her elbow.

‘It's OK,' she says, in answer to Tiggy's unspoken query. ‘Honestly. I'm just being silly.'

She takes a deep breath, as if making some resolution, and when Pete comes in she speaks to him quite naturally. Tiggy hides her relief, pretending that she notices nothing amiss, which seems to enable Pete and Julia to relax even more. Tea has to be eaten in relays, first Julia, then Pete, then Tiggy, being invited into the tent, and by the time it is over good humour has been restored.

The next morning, Pete comes back to give Julia an extra kiss before driving away.

‘Angela was awful,' Julia says to Tiggy as they clear up the breakfast things and the twins rush out to the tent. ‘She was all over him. Martin makes a joke about it, says that he and I should get together and things like that. I make a joke of it too, of course, but I hate it. And I hate Pete because he makes no effort to resist her. He drinks too much and then it makes me look like I'm a prig. And I'm not. I like to drink and enjoy myself.'

Tiggy wants to hug her. ‘He probably feels he'd look a fool if he slapped her down. As if he were paying it too much importance.'

Julia shrugs. ‘Probably. I wouldn't mind if it were anyone else. Everyone gets a bit silly at parties; I do. But there's something different with Angela. I can just feel it.'

Tiggy remembers Aunt Em's words and feels sick in her stomach. ‘It's just a macho thing,' she says. And Angela's just one of those cows who likes to upset other women. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing that you think she has any power.'

‘I try not to,' says Julia gloomily, drying her hands and reaching for her cigarettes. ‘But then I remember that they had this thing together and I wonder if he regrets giving her up.'

‘Did he give her up?'

‘That's what he says. He says the usual things: “If I'd loved her we'd still be together”, and “I married you, didn't I?”, and stuff like that. I know it's silly of me to mind but I can't help myself and then I feel guilty afterwards.'

Just after lunch, a Radio Rental van comes slowly down the drive.

‘Brought you a new television, love,' the driver says. ‘Your husband phoned and said it was time you had a change. Wait till you see it.'

He carries the set into the sitting-room and installs it, and presently the children are staring transfixed at the inhabitants of Camberwick Green – and the firemen, Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub – in brilliant blues and reds and greens. Even Charlie is mesmerized by the glory of it.

‘So what do you think?' asks Pete later. He looks rather shamefaced but pleased with himself.

Julia smiles. ‘You only did it so that you could watch
The Magic Roundabout
in colour.'

He puts his arms round her, winking at Tiggy over her head. ‘Actually I was thinking more about
Star Trek
,' he says.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

2004

On the morning of the day of Caroline and Zack's house-warming party, Liv was in Truro. Having parked behind the cathedral she made her way amongst dawdling holiday-makers, through the narrow streets to The Place and went in. Looking around her she saw that nothing had changed since her last visit: the black and white tiled floor, whitewashed rough-stone walls and the large gilt-framed mirrors. The long bar stretched the length of one wall and, as she closed the door behind her, Matt got up from one of the bar stools and came to meet her. She'd forgotten how tall he was but the short silvery-gold hair and the straight glance were just as she'd remembered.