The Wedding (50 page)

Poor Mom, Allegra said. How's she taking it?

Pretty hard. Simon was honest.

Can I talk to her? she asked hesitantly, but when he consulted with Blaire, she said she'd call Allegra later.

Allegra hung up, looking pensive, and thinking of her mother. She had worked so hard, and had had so many victories with that show. It had been a real accomplishment for a long time, and now it was over. She could just imagine how her mother felt, and her heart went out to her.

Something wrong? Jeff had drifted by and seen the look on her face. She looked like she'd had bad news, and he stopped to ask her about it.

They just canceled my mother's show. It was a somber announcement, and in some ways it hadn't sunk in yet. Buddies was so much a part of her mother's life, she couldn't even imagine her without it. And now she would have to rush to make the last episode. It was terrible timing, with Allegra's wedding.

I'm sorry to hear that, Jeff said sympathetically. She's looked preoccupied for a while; I wonder if she knew.

It's funny, Allegra said. I thought she looked better for the past few weeks. And in fact she had, since her rapprochement with Simon. She seemed happier and less distracted. Maybe she wasn't feeling well. Anyway, Dad says she's really taking it hard. Maybe I should go over to see her. And then she told him about the call from her father, about his unexpected appearance at her wedding. She hadn't even expected to hear from him anymore. She had forgotten all about her letter. He's actually expecting to walk me down the aisle. Can you believe that? After all these years, he really thinks I'd let him do that. He must think I'm incredibly stupid.

Maybe he thinks that's what you expect of him. Maybe he doesn't know how to act with you anymore either. It could be that he's changed. You should give him a chance, and at least talk to him while he's out here. Like Simon, Jeff always tried to be fair, but Allegra was outraged by his suggestion.

Are you kidding? When do you think I'm going to have time for a talk like that, two days before our wedding?

Maybe it's worth it for you to make time. He had a major impact on your life, Allegra. And in a way, on their marriage. Jeff thought acknowledging that was important.

It's not worth my while even seeing him, Jeff. I'm sorry I ever wrote him. She was steaming at Jeff for suggesting she should give him a chance, and at her father for being so presumptuous.

You're awfully hard on the guy, Jeff said quietly. He is coming out, and you invited him. It sounds like he's trying.

Trying to do what? It's too late anyway. I'm thirty years old, and I don't need a father.

You must, or you wouldn't have written to him in the first place. Don't you think it's time you resolved things between you? I think this is as good a time as any, kind of an end and a beginning.

You don't know anything about it, she exploded at him, storming across the room as she paced. She couldn't believe he was telling her to give her father a chance, after he'd always been a bastard to her. You have no idea what it was like after my brother died, the way he drank, the way he slapped my mother around, the way he treated us after we left and came to California. He never forgave my mother for leaving him, and he took it out on me all my life. He hated me. He was probably sorry I didn't die instead of Patrick. Paddy would probably have been a doctor like him. She was sobbing as he came to her, all her fears and inadequacies and terrors hanging all over her, like laundry on a clothesline.

Maybe that's what you need to talk to him about, Jeff suggested gently as he approached her. What was he like before your brother died, if you can remember?

Okay, but he was always kind of cold, and he was very busy. He reminds me a lot of your mother, unable to open up and reach out and relate to anyone else, not very human, she said candidly, and then looked at him in embarrassment. Although they both acknowledged that the weekend in Southampton had been horrible, she had never openly criticized his mother to him.

What's all that supposed to mean? My mother is very reserved, but she's perfectly human, Allegra. He sounded chilly.

I'm sure she is. Allegra was trying to back off, but she was annoyed that he had taken her father's part, and was so willing to be compassionate toward him. Except if you're Jewish, she added hastily, and Jeff suddenly backed away from her as though she were radioactive.

That's a rotten thing to say about her. The poor woman is seventy-one years old, and she's a product of another generation.

The same generation that put the Jews in Auschwitz. I didn't exactly feel like she was a warm and caring person while we were there. And what exactly would she have said if you hadn't told her my real' name is Stanton, and not Steinberg? You know, that was a pretty shitty thing to do. Downright cowardly in fact. She glared at him from across the room, and he was trembling with rage over the things she had said about his mother.

So is refusing to talk to your father. The poor guy has probably paid his dues for the last twenty years. He lost a son too, not just your mother. She's had other kids, she has another life, another family, another husband. What has he got? According to you, he has absolutely nothing.

Why are you so fucking sympathetic to him, for chrissake? Maybe all he deserves is nothing. Maybe it was his fault Paddy died. Maybe if he hadn't been treating him himself, or wasn't such a drunk, maybe he could have saved him.

Is that what you think? He looked appalled. They were the demons that had trailed her for twenty years, dancing all over their living room, and even she looked frightened. You think he killed your brother? He looked horrified. It was a terrible thing to say about anyone, especially her father.

I don't know what I think, she said hoarsely, but he was still bristling. He hardly recognized her in the things she had said that night and he didn't like her. It was the first real fight they'd ever had, and it was a lulu. It was almost worthy of Carmen and Alan.

I think you owe me an apology for the things you said about my mother. She never did anything to hurt you. She was just shy when she met you.

Shy? Allegra screamed at him from across the room again. You call that shy} I call it vicious.

She was -1/2ewer vicious to you! He was shouting now too, and neither of them liked it.

She hates Jews! was the only retort Allegra could come up with.

You're not Jewish, so what do you care? He threw back at her ineptly.

She slammed out of the house, and got into her car. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she wanted to get away from him, and as far as she was concerned, he could take his wedding and stuff it. She wasn't going to marry him if he was the last human being alive, no matter who organized the wedding, or who walked her down the aisle. They could have the whole goddamn mess for all she cared.

She drove down the Pacific Coast Highway going eighty-five and was at her parents' house in forty minutes. She opened the front door with her key, forgetting their new rule to call them first, and she slammed the front door so hard she almost broke the picture window. Her parents were sitting in the living room, and her mother jumped when she heard her.

Good God, what happened to you? Blaire looked at her. She looked like a wild, rumpled mess. She was wearing shorts and a T-shirt, bare feet, and she had her hair piled high on her head and stuck through with a pencil. Are you all right?

No, I'm not, Allegra said, looking like a madwoman. I'm canceling the wedding.

Now? Her mother asked, horrified. It's less than two weeks away. What happened?

I hate him.

Simon turned away to conceal a smile, and her mother stared at her, unable to believe she would do this. All she could think of now were the endless preparations. All for nothing. Did you have an argument?

That's beside the point. His mother is a monster, and he thinks I really ought to give Charles Stanton a chance after all these years. The poor man has had so many problems.' That's disgusting. She looked irate as she said it.

How did Charles get into this? Blaire looked totally confused. She hadn't seen him herself in seven years, and he hadn't crossed her mind since she'd told Allegra to at least invite him to the wedding.

He called tonight. He thinks he's walking me down the aisle. Can you beat that? He wants to come to my wedding.

That's all right, dear, her mother said calmly, forgetting her own woes and disappointments, and concentrating on her daughter. Maybe Jeff is right. Maybe it's time to make peace with him. But Allegra only got angrier when she heard it.

Are you all nuts? The man abandoned me emotionally twenty-five years ago and you all think we should be pals? Are you all out of your minds?

No. But it's not worth hating him for all these years, Allegra, she said wisely. There were a lot of things back then that you weren't old enough to understand, about grief, and what happened to him. He just couldn't handle it when Paddy died. He cracked for a while. I think he actually lost his mind, partially emotionally in any case. And I'm not sure he ever completely regained it. I'm sure he's quite sane technically, or at least I assume he is. But he was never able to get the pieces put back together after that, to have a personal life, or maybe not until now. But you ought to at least listen to what he has to say. As her mother spoke to her, there was the insistent sound of their doorbell. Simon looked surprised and went to answer it. It was like living in an airport, or on a sitcom. But much to everyone's amazement, it was Jeff, and he looked almost as disheveled and angry as Allegra.

How dare you walk out on me like that! he shouted at her, and Simon and Blaire exchanged a look, and walked quietly upstairs. Allegra and Jeff were so furious, they never even noticed that her parents had left, and they stood in the living room and shouted at each other for an hour, as Blaire tiptoed around upstairs wondering if they were still going to have a wedding.

Well, they certainly sound well matched, Simon said with a small smile. It was more excitement than they'd seen in their house in years, if ever. And a few minutes later, Samantha called. With the windows open, on a warm night, they could hear Jeff and Allegra's argument all the way to the guest house.

Are you and Mom having some kind of a fight? she asked, sounding worried. She had just nursed Matt and put him back to bed, and she had never heard so much fighting in her life. Jimmy thought she had better call to make sure they were all right, and Simon laughed at the question.

No, but your sister is, he said simply.

With Mom? Sam looked surprised. Allegra had never fought with their mother like that, or with anyone for that matter.

No, with your future brother-in-law, that is, if the wedding's still on. He couldn't help but laugh. It was a soap opera of the first order. We'll ask them when it's all over.

When did they get here? Sam was intrigued by what was happening, but the fight was still raging on from what they could all hear. The floodgates had finally opened. They had lived with tension for months, with clients, and movies and screenplays; Allegra had dealt with death threats and miscarriages, and one of her favorite clients being gunned down and murdered, her sister's pregnancy, and nearly giving the baby up, and then nearly adopting it herself, and then the disappointment of giving it back to Sam, and all the stress of getting married, and meeting her new mother-in-law, and all the expectations and hopes and plans that went with getting married. It was enough to make anyone hysterical, and Jeff and Allegra certainly sounded as though they both were.

They got here a little while ago. I'm sure they'll leave soon, if they survive, he said, and a little while later, he and Blaire went down to see if they could lend a hand and stop the war before there were no survivors. Allegra was crying softly in the living room by then, and Jeff was looking as though he wanted to kill someone or die, whichever happened first. This was clearly not the moment to ask them if they were still getting married. There was no question that both of them were ready to toss the whole wedding right out the window.

How are you two doing down here? Simon asked calmly, pouring four glasses of wine, and handing the first to Jeff, who looked as though he needed it very badly. He took it with a nod, and then sat down, far across the room from Allegra.

We're fine, she said between sobs, in answer to her father's question.

I'm not sure I believe you, he said, and Blaire went and sat next to her. She had the best suggestion anyone had made to them in months.

I think you two need to get away for the weekend. This may be your last chance before the wedding. She looked at Jeff. I think if they can spare you from the set for two days, you ought to try. He nodded, looking at her. Even he knew it was a wise suggestion.

I was sorry to hear about the show, he said sympathetically, and then glanced over at Allegra.

So am I, Mom, she said, and blew her nose again. No one had ever been as unfair to her as Jeff had just been. He said she was being rude about his mother, and she wasn't giving her father a chance, and it all seemed like the end of the world to Allegra. That and having to finish up everything on her desk, and get everything done before their wedding. It was almost inhuman.

Thank you, Blaire said quietly. She had done her share of crying that night too, but this was so much more real to her. She knew it wasn't serious, but it was their lives, not just a lot of pretend nonsense on television. Fortunately, she knew the difference.