Authors: Marlen Suyapa Bodden
“Sir, since she was a little girl, he and Mrs. Allen agreed to all her wishes.”
“Yes, but do you think her father would agree to her wishes now?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Is there a likelihood that he would?”
“Yes, there is a likelihood.”
“What I am about to tell you, you cannot repeat. Clarissa, perhaps because of her guilty mind, thinks that I want to cause her and her son physical harm. I do not. I simply want her and that…bastard out of my parents’ home. She begged me to let you accompany her to Allen Estates.”
I kept an expressionless face.
“She said that she will ensure that you return. I told her that I have no reason to accommodate her delusions, but she said that, if I allow you to accompany her, she would prevail upon her father to give me the agreed upon number of field hands.”
“Sir, I do think that she could accomplish that. Mr. Allen, as I’m sure you know, owns about four hundred field hands.”
“Well then, here is what I want you to do: on the journey there, help Clarissa because she is not thinking clearly. Help her to craft a convincing story for her father. If she succeeds in getting me any number of field hands, when you return, I will free you. Of course, that means that all your children will be free. What do you think about that?”
“Sir, would you really do that?”
“Yes, my sweet Sarah, I will. I promise you.”
“Thank you, sir. I will do what I can.”
“All right, be prepared to leave in two days. Do come bid me good-bye before you depart.”
That evening, Isaac said that the overseer told him to have the carriage and a team of four horses ready for the day after the next. “Did you hear anything else?”
“Yes, a lot. The carriage is so that an overseer and a coachman will take Clarissa, the baby, and me to Allen Estates,” I said.
“What? Why are we going there so soon after the baby’s birth?”
“Because Julius is denying that the baby is his.”
“We’re going there to stay?”
“Isaac, you’re not going. Julius didn’t even want me to go. He’s afraid that I won’t return, and well, let’s sit down. I need to tell you something important. I’m not coming back.”
“What do you mean? You have to. We belong to Mr. Cromwell now. Mr. Allen will have to send you back. Don’t you want to come back to be with me?”
“I’m not coming back here to live my mother’s life. And do you know what Mr. Allen did to my mother’s husband, Belle’s father? He sold him.”
Isaac was silent for a few moments. “What makes you think that Mr. Allen won’t send you back?”
“I’m going to run.”
“Sarah, stop it, you can’t….”
“No. You stop it. Don’t tell me I can’t run. I can and I will. And if I were you, I’d run too.”
“Well, since you’ve made up your mind, why don’t we run together, now?”
“No, it’s easier to catch two people. It would be more difficult to blend in when we got to a town.”
“But we’ll never see each other again.”
“Isaac, the only thing that’s going to get me through all of this, and the reason I won’t cry my eyes out when I run, is that I believe I’ll see everybody I love in heaven one day.”
“But how could I run and not get caught? Those Wilkes boys, look at what happened to them.”
“One was a blacksmith and the other worked on a farm. As a coachman, you know the roads as far as Georgia and Florida. And there’s something I haven’t told you. There’s a way that I can help you escape.”
“How?”
“First, you have to tell me if you’re sure you want to run.”
“I think I do.”
“No, I need to know for sure and I need to know now so I have time to do what I have to do.”
“Yes. Yes, I will.”
“I can write you a pass because I know how to read and write.”
“What? I don’t believe you.”
“Well, then. Do what you have to do on your own.”
“Sarah, really? How did you learn?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
“Did Miss Clarissa teach you?”
“All right, if it’s so important for you to know. Mrs. Allen did.”
“That explains why you talk like they do. But how good is a pass going to be? As soon as they know I’m gone, the slave catchers will know the pass isn’t real.”
“That’s why you have to use your brains. Take a horse and go into the woods for a few days. Then, only ride the roads at night. If somebody stops you, then you show the pass. I’ll make it for you tomorrow. Is there ever a time when the main gate is unguarded?”
“Not really. They leave the bloodhounds there when the patroller leaves around eleven at night.”
“Do they have dogs all around the plantation?”
“No, it’s too big. They only have them by the slave quarters, the fields, or the streams and swamps.”
The next afternoon, when Julius was at dinner, I went to his office to clean and to use his writing materials, and that night, I prepared for the journey. The following morning, the overseer went to our cabin to say that we were departing at eleven o’clock. Isaac and I said good-bye before he went to the stables. I made us breakfast, but neither of us felt like eating. When he was gone, I put on the dress that my mother had altered. I did not wrap my hair and wore it the same way I arranged Clarissa’s.
When Julius saw me, he smiled. “Sarah, how beautiful you look.”
“Thank you, sir. Sir, I wanted to give you my answer before leaving. I accept your proposal.”
“Sarah, I’m at a loss for words. I thought I would have to wait until your return. You have made me happy.”
“I also came to say good-bye and that I hope our time apart will be short.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“You are right, sir. Everything will be different with her not here.”
“I’m so glad about your decision. Sarah, there’s something that I planned to give you when you made your decision. I will give it to you now, so that you’ll think of me when you’re away. Wait here.”
He left the room and returned with a velvet pouch. He took out a gold necklace that was decorated with pearls and ruby stones.
“Turn around, darling.” He fastened the clasp and placed the necklace inside the bodice of my dress. “Always wear it underneath your clothing so that no one will see it and it will be close to your heart.”
I thanked him. Then he embraced me and kissed me on the cheek. I went to my cabin to get my baggage and then to the carriage that was waiting outside the house. Clarissa and Jessie, holding the baby wrapped in a blanket, came out. Another servant helped Clarissa walk. The overseer objected when Clarissa told me to sit inside the carriage with her and the baby.
“This is my carriage and she is still my servant. I decide where she sits. And mind your impertinence.”
The carriage could not move fast because Clarissa was in pain. I asked her at several stages whether we should stop at an inn.
“No, I want to get home.”
She developed a fever toward the end of the journey and was delirious when we arrived at the main gate of Allen Estates. An overseer opened the door and helped Clarissa. When I stepped down holding the baby, he told me to give him the child.
“No, Sarah, don’t. Give him to me.”
She stood in front of me and tried to take him, but the overseer pushed her away. Another overseer took the baby from me and they got into another carriage. Clarissa tried to follow them, and I tried to help her, but she was too weak to walk.
“Go after them, Sarah. Please, try to get my son back.”
I ran behind the carriage as far as I could, but it went faster and faster, and I returned to Clarissa when there was no possibility of my reaching them. The two Hall overseers were helping her into a smaller carriage. I climbed onto the seat next to the coachman. Two servants were waiting for us at the front door of Allen Hall. They took Clarissa out and told me to follow them upstairs.
“Where is Mrs. Allen?” I asked.
“Somebody’s going to get her.”
“And do you know if my mother and Belle are here?”
“Yes, we can get someone to tell them you’re here.”
I settled Clarissa in her bed. Her face was hot. When she arrived, Mrs. Allen woke her.
“Mama. Mama, I came to you to help me, but they took my baby. They took my angel. Do you know where they took him, Mama?”
“Sarah, where’s the baby?”
I told her what had occurred.
“Dear God. Sarah, I’m going to find my husband and send for a physician. Stay here with her. Oh, and we need Emmeline. Clarissa is feverish.”
When my mother arrived, we embraced and I whispered in her ear, “Mama, I have so much to tell you.”
“I know everything, baby. We’ll talk later.”
“How are Belle and the children?”
“They’re all right. You’ll see them later. She know you’re here.”
She felt Clarissa’s forehead and throat. “How long since she had this fever?”
“Since we got to Benton County.”
Mrs. Allen returned. “Emmeline, what do you think?”
“Ma’am, we should wait until the doctor comes.”
“It’s just a fever, though, is it not?”
“That usually means the new mother got a infection when she had the baby.”
“Isn’t there something you can give her?”
“Ma’am, with a fever this high, I don’t think what I give is going to do anything.”
“Emmeline, try it, please. Mr. Allen refuses to send for a doctor because he says that she does not need one.”
“Sarah, go to my cabin and brew catnip. Ma’am, me and Bessie can give Miss Clarissa a cold bath.”
The people whom I passed on the way tried to engage me in conversation about why we were back at Allen Estates, but I hurried past them in silence. When I returned to Clarissa’s room, I heard my mother, Mrs. Allen, and Bessie in the adjoining bathroom. They were putting Clarissa in the tub and speaking to her to keep her awake. When the tea was cool, Mrs. Allen gave it to her when she was still in the water. Neither the tea nor the cold bath lowered her temperature. Her lips were cracked and the dark circles around her eyes more pronounced than that morning.
“Ma’am, do you want to try again with Mr. Allen? She’s getting hotter. Ma’am?”
“I heard you, Emmeline, but I doubt he will send for the physician.”
“Ma’am, if her fever keeps going up, she…she’s going to….”