The White Cowboy - Complete BWWM Romance Box Set (16 page)

“And Jessica would, of course.”

“Was she always high maintenance?”

Brandon tapped his chin. “Looking back, yes. She appealed to my male need to take care of someone.”

“That knight in shining armor thing that men have,” Gemma said.

“That’s it. Our fatal flaw.”

“Only if you’re with the wrong person.”

Brandon couldn’t see Gemma ever wanting a knight in shining armor. She was more than capable of taking care of herself. “I don’t see you need a knight at all,” he said.

“Why? Because I’m a strong personality?”

“Yes.”

She shifted a coaster advertising a beer around the table. Her gaze didn’t meet his. “I can be vulnerable. Just don’t usually have a need to.”

“A need? I would think being vulnerable would just happen.”

“Then I guess it doesn’t happen to me often. That doesn’t mean I don’t want someone to love me or provide a safe place for me.”

Really? He wouldn’t have thought Gemma felt that way at all. She seemed so self-contained. There was more to her than he could see. “Interesting.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

Gemma wondered if she’d let too much of herself go in that conversation. If Brandon was going to be her boyfriend or even her long-term lover, she wouldn’t be so uncomfortable with his analysis or her answer.

But she was leaving. Heading towards her dream. But in truth, she wasn’t nearly as excited as she had been when she left New Jersey. So much had happened since then. The biggest one being Brandon in her life. He hadn’t just taken her to bed, he’d taken her heart.

Too bad he didn’t want it.

Jessica appeared in the bar, having come out from backstage. It took her a few minutes to get to the table as she stopped to talk and sign autographs. To Gemma, that looked like Heaven.

Sort of. If she were famous, would she ever get to be left alone anywhere? She hadn’t thought about that part.

“Everyone wants a piece of you,” Gemma said when Jessica finally sat down.

The star shrugged. “Part of the job. You better get used to it.”

“Is there nowhere you can go to be alone?”

“When I had a house in Memphis I could be alone, but I had big walls around it,” Jessica said.

Gemma didn’t like the idea of living in a prison. She grew up in a tightly-knit neighborhood. Neighbors dropped by at all hours. What would she do alone in a big house?

“That sounds lonely,” Brandon said.

“That’s funny coming from you, Brandon. Who hides behind his animals,” Jessica said.

A waitress came by to take drink orders. She left them, and then dinner was called.

“Shall we let our entertainment eat first?” Helen said into a microphone on the stage.

The crowd cheered. Gemma laughed. “That’s a perk of the job.”

“Pay attention to the dishes that have a star on their sign. These are the recipes you will be voting on,” Helen said.

Gemma struggled to her feet. She couldn’t believe that even after this long on crutches, she still couldn’t balance well on them.  “I can get you food if you want,” Brandon said.

“I should come with you to see what’s there.”

“True.  I don’t know what you like.”

Brandon walked beside her. She bit her lip as she realized she’d be there when he discovered his recipe. Would he make a scene?

“Everything looks good,” she said.

Brandon carried two plates. “It does.”

His dish wasn’t among the first ones on the table. She’d have a few minutes to decide what to do. She didn’t regret giving up the recipe, but she knew he’d be pissed. Just when they’d had a great afternoon together.

Just when she’d hoped for a great last night together, here she was rethinking her impulsive decision to enter his recipe.

Too bad. She’d just have to live with his reaction.

***

Brandon juggled both plates as Gemma told him what she wanted. She could eat as much as he did. He loved that she did eat. Too many women didn’t.

“My plate’s full. Let me put it at the table,” he said.

“Actually, that’s all I need. “

“You sure?”

She seemed to be eying something down the table. If she wanted it, she should ask.

“Yes, I’m done.”

She smiled at him, and he forgot whatever he’d been thinking. He’d really miss her and her straightforward attitude. How refreshing for a woman to tell a man what she was really thinking.

Jessica didn’t understand that.

His ex-wife waited at the table for them to come back. He settled Gemma’s plate then her on her chair before he sat down.

“Everything looks good,” Jessica said. “Did you enter a recipe?”

“No, I didn’t,” he said. “Why?”

“Well, there was something further down the table that I thought had your name on it.”

Brandon glanced back at the buffet table. “I didn’t see it. Doesn’t matter. I didn’t enter anything.”

Gemma stilled. He thought maybe she was in pain.

“You okay, Gemma?” he asked.

“Yes, fine. Just hungry.”

She took a bite of food.

“How odd that I thought your name was on it,” Jessica said.

“Nope,” Brandon replied.

“Have you tasted these meatballs?” Gemma said.

“That’s next,” Jessica said.

Brandon noticed she didn’t have much on her plate at all. Of course she wouldn’t.  She worried about her figure. If you asked him, she was too skinny. Gemma had something for a man to hold onto. She had curves and more substance. More substance overall, too.

He wondered for a moment how he had fallen for Jessica. Maybe she hadn’t been the right person for him, and she’d done them both a favor by leaving.

In fact, maybe he should be thanking her.

***

Gemma couldn’t wait until the meal was over. Why was this bothering her? She’d made decisions like this before and owned up to them. Why now? Why was this one so hard to accept?

Maybe because this could make or break how Brandon felt about her.

Should she wait until the announcement was made? If he didn’t win, he’d never know. She hated feeling this indecisive. It almost took away her appetite. Almost.

Instead of engaging Brandon, she dug into her food to think a little more. Not one to normally shy away from confrontation, she knew what she had to do.

This time, it was different. She had more to lose. She had Brandon to lose and that didn’t just mean sleeping on the couch tonight. It meant that she would lose his friendship. She might need that as a stabilizing force in her life. She saw how Jessica dealt without it, and Gemma didn’t like the idea.

She screwed up her courage. She had to tell him and not wimp out. If he hated her, so be it. Maybe that would make her leaving easier.

“Brandon?”

“Yeah, hon?”

Hon? He’d called her hon.

Did he even realize that? She swallowed.

“I have to get backstage for a few minutes, “ Jessica said. “You’ll be ready to go on in five minutes?”

“Yes.”

“Come use my dressing room to tune your guitar,” she said.

Gemma looked from Brandon to Jessica. “Okay.”

She’d wanted to tell Brandon. Hopefully she’d have time before the winners were announced.

Jessica took Gemma’s guitar and walked along side of her. “You sent in that recipe of his, didn’t you?”

“Yes, and I am thinking that I’m regretting it.”

“Why? It’ll probably win.”

“He’ll be pissed at me.”

Jessica shrugged. “You’ll be gone tomorrow, so it doesn’t matter.”

Gemma knew she should probably take comfort in that, but she didn’t. Part of her wanted to stay. If Brandon asked, she just might.

“You really love him,” Jessica said as they entered the closet that was her dressing room.

Gemma didn’t answer until she sat down and had her guitar out. “I do. I’m not sure when it happened.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I have no freaking idea.”

***

Brandon was glad that Jessica had whisked away Gemma. He’d called her hon. It had just slipped out.

He didn’t know why. Well, he did, but he wasn’t willing to admit his feelings for her. If he ignored them, they would go away. Just like Gemma was going to.

The thought made his heart ache, but he knew he couldn’t ask her to stay. A few people passed his table and greeted him. He smiled back at most of them. He hadn’t made any friends in this town, and now he wondered if that had been the right thing to do.

He’d kept to himself, and only came into to town to shop. Maybe if he could make the effort to be more neighborly, his life would be a little fuller.  He would know who owned the pony Houdini.

The lights dimmed, and he knew it was almost time for the show. He cleared the table, then dumped it all in a trashcan.  Gemma had cleaned her plate while Jessica had left most of it. Would Gemma succumb to that when she was a star? He couldn’t see her that way. She had shape and a fullness to her face that was part of what made her beautiful.

He had it so bad for her. Could he ask her to stay? Could he let her go? Whatever happened, he’d make tonight last as long as he could.

That was when he noticed the sign on one of the dishes. It read:

“Chicken Francaise by Brandon Steele.”

Damn! Had Gemma done this? She probably had. He clenched his fists. He had told her not to do this. Not being able to deal with the situation now, he stormed back to his seat. Gemma hobbled onto the stage with someone trailing behind her with her guitar.

He couldn’t make a scene now, but he’d probably seethe throughout the performance. Damn her for doing that.

Now he glanced around the darkened bar to see if anyone was staring at him. He suddenly felt like he was in the spotlight instead of Gemma. He didn’t want to be in the spotlight. His willingness to be more neighborly was one thing, but being the center of attention was another.

Gemma strummed a few bars on her guitar before she launched into the words of Sweet Home Alabama. The attendees sung along with her. Then she spoke between songs. She engaged the crowd so easily that he couldn’t see her doing anything else.

But he was still mad at her. Hopefully he wouldn’t win, but then again, now that he knew he was in the running, he wanted people to like his food. Damn. This wasn’t fun.

Damn Gemma for doing this to him. Why did she make him love her?

Part of him wanted to run from the place because the mix of emotions roiling through him was too much. On the other hand, he couldn’t leave. He had to support Gemma and even Jessica. This was all a good cause, and they’d both agreed to take no fee so all the money would go to the right people.

He didn’t know if Gemma had her own money or how much she had.  She probably could have used the money for her journey, but she had a big heart.

A big heart. That’s why she put his recipe into the contest. So someone could cook it and others could taste it and give feedback. He had to remember that she did it out of the goodness of her heart. He couldn’t be mad at her for that. He couldn’t base his feeling on what he assumed was the case, but what he knew was probably the case.

He’d at least ask her before he got mad, but he didn’t think he could get mad at the angel that was currently singing.

***

Gemma finished her last song, then smiled at the clapping audience. “Now I get to introduce the act you’ve been waiting all night for.  She’ll just have to wait for a second while I wobble off the stage.”

She shielded her eyes, looking for Brandon. If he could take her guitar, this would go more smoothly. She saw him approach the stage, and handed him the instrument.  “Thanks,” she said with her hand over the microphone.

“No problem.”

She sensed he was happy to be helping her. Guess he hadn’t figured out about the recipe.  She had a job to do first. She tucked her crutches underneath her, then stood in front of the microphone. “I’m happy to welcome the artist you’ve all come to see, Jessica Steele.”

The crowd roared and clapped.  Jessica smiled at her as she came on stage. She leaned down and spoke in Gemma’s ear. “Thanks. You’re really good.”

Gemma floated off the stage, overcome at having a big star like Jessica Steele tell her that. Brandon pulled out a chair for her and her foot. She rested her injured appendage on the second one while she blew out a breath.

“You were really good,” Brandon said.

“Thanks. Good crowd.”

“Thanks to Gemma for warming up the audience for me so well. You guys are so ready for me,” Jessica said.

The crowd clapped. Gemma saluted Jessica, even though she didn’t think the star could see her.

“She looks pale,” Brandon said.

Gemma took another look at her. “Yes, she does. I wonder if she isn’t feeling well. She didn’t say anything, but I wouldn’t expect her to, to me.”

“I guess she’s okay, since she’s performing,” Brandon said.

“She’s a professional, she’d go on anyway. Her public awaited her. Helen said the tickets sold out within an hour of announcing that Jessica was going to perform.”

“She’s that popular?” Brandon said.

Gemma looked at him. “Do you live on this planet? I don’t even listen to country music, and I knew who she was.”

He shrugged. “No television, and I’m not on the internet a lot.”

“Well, she’s pretty big. Even with what happened to her financially, she’ll probably rebound quickly.”

“You sound like a fan.”

“Not a fan of her music, but her rise to the top. She did it her way,” Gemma said.

“That would be Jessica.”