The White Knight (27 page)

Joelle was aware that the girl had bitter feelings toward her father, who had failed her so miserably. She had talked
with the girl before, but Audrey, who had been doing well in other ways, simply refused to listen.

“Let me just share one thing with you, Audrey,” Joelle said as the two sat down in her office. “Out there in that world there are some dangerous things—guns and knives and drugs—things that can hurt you. But there's one thing that can hurt you worse than any gun or any knife.”

“And what's that?” Audrey sneered.

“It's bitterness of the spirit. Something that's inside you. You see, Audrey, a gun is something outside of you. Somebody else has it and they can hurt you with it, of course. But bitterness is inside of you and it's like a poison. It can ruin your whole life.”

“So I'm supposed to just forget all about the beatings my daddy gave me and all the other stuff?”

“I know it's hard, but if you don't forgive him, you'll be hurting yourself.”

Joelle went on explaining the dangers of refusing to forgive, quoting several Bible verses. As she went on, Audrey's face gradually changed from belligerent to something else—confused, maybe.

“You believe all that stuff, Joelle?”

“Yes, of course I believe it.”

“Then how come when you found out Luke had done something bad to you, you didn't forgive him?”

Joelle was so shocked at the charge she could not answer. Audrey saw this and took advantage of it. “Here you are preaching to me about how I oughta forgive my daddy who treated me like a dog or worse, and you won't forgive the guy you're supposed to be in love with because he done something wrong. How do you expect me to forgive somebody? You're the big Christian around here and you can't even forgive a guy who never lifted a finger to harm you.”

Audrey's words pierced Joelle like a sword. On one level, she knew everything that Audrey said was true. She could quote endless Scripture verses about forgiveness and about
the dangers of unforgiveness, but somehow that knowledge had not penetrated into the deepest part of her spirit. All she could think of was the wrong that had been done to her.

Now, like a blinding flash of light, Joelle understood that she had been completely wrong. She saw how her own pride had become a trap for her, and the truth of this suddenly caused her to break down. She felt the tears gathering in her eyes and felt her hands begin to tremble.

“Why are you crying?” Audrey demanded.

“I'm crying,” Joelle whispered in a broken tone, “because the Lord has just used you to show me how wrong I've been. The way I treated Luke was entirely wrong. It's not the way I would want somebody to treat me. And just as I told you, I was hurting myself, Audrey. I'm so sorry. It's been a bad thing for me and a bad thing for you to see.” Tears were running down her cheeks, and she began to sob. She put her arms on the desk and leaned her head forward, her shoulders shaking with convulsions.

Audrey Carpenter was one of the toughest girls who had ever shown up at the Haven. She sat watching the woman weep for a long time, and then finally something softened in her face and she did something that was totally out of character. Getting up and moving around the desk, she put her hand on Joelle's shoulder. “It ain't too late, Joelle. You can still make it right with him if you want to.”

Joelle could not speak, but she reached up and covered the girl's hand with her own. Her heart was broken over the way she had behaved, but one thing was abundantly clear—she had a task to do that she could not avoid, even though it was going to be hard.

****

Luke had come in from a long day at work and thrown himself on the bed. Life had become a dreary round to him, an endless cycle of getting up, going to work—including all
the overtime he could get—and then enduring a long and lonely night, which he dreaded.

He had lain fully dressed on the bed for half an hour when a knock caused him to start. “Who could that be?” he muttered. Getting off the bed, he went to the door and opened it. To his shock, Joelle stood before him, the light in the hallway illuminating her face.

“Joelle . . .” he said but could think of nothing else.

“I . . . I have to talk to you, Luke.”

“Come on in. What is it? Is one of the girls sick?”

Joelle had a speech prepared that she had been practicing all the way to Luke's apartment, but her mind was a blank as she stood in front of Luke. She found herself trembling and afraid, but she had come for a specific purpose and started to speak from her heart. “I've been wrong, Luke, about the way I treated you.”

She waited for him to respond and saw surprise wash across his face. “I knew better all the time. I knew I was behaving terribly, but it was . . . I don't know, it was like someone else was inside of me making me say horrible things. I never had anything like that happen before, but God has shown me the truth. You asked me to forgive you, and I refused to do it. The Bible says if you won't forgive those who hurt you, how can He forgive us? I was harsh and unforgiving and had a hard heart . . . and I was altogether wrong. So I've come to ask you to forgive me.”

Luke knew what it had cost her to come here. Joelle was standing with her chin up and her shoulders squared as if she were prepared for a negative response. There was in her, as always, a strength and an imagination that he had always liked. He had guessed her depth from the time he had known her and saw in her a woman of great emotion. Now he had a view of the undertow of her spirit, and he felt a great wave of love for her.

“Let's forgive each other, Joelle,” he whispered. He put his arms out, and she came to him willingly. She was beautiful
inside and out, and she was rich in every way that a woman should be rich. Luke tilted her chin up and kissed her tenderly, and he could taste the salt from her tears as she returned his kiss. “This may be the wrong time to ask this,” Luke said, “but I want you to be my wife. Will you, Joelle?”

She looked up at him with a tremulous smile on her lips but a light of joy in her eyes. “Yes,” she said, “I will.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

A New Life Together

Joelle came slowly out of her warm, restful sleep. The light from the window fell across her face, the warmth of the sun stirring her, and she smiled slightly. Slowly her eyes opened, and for a moment she experienced a touch of fright, but then she quickly realized that the face she was looking at belonged to her husband. It wasn't easy to get accustomed to awaking and finding a man occupying the space that had been empty for so many years!

Her sense of contentment grew, but she was somewhat puzzled by the expression on Luke's face. He was lying beside her on his side, his cheek propped up against his open palm, and his elbow braced against the bed. He was studying her in a thoughtful, meditative fashion that intrigued Joelle. “What are you looking at, Luke?”

“Just thinking about how blessed you are, wife.”

Joelle, in the short period of her marriage, had become used to Luke's mild teasing. He would often say the most outlandish things in a most ordinary tone of voice. But he was also capable of speaking of his love for her in a way that was totally satisfying and pleasing. She saw that the corners of his lips were turned up ever so slightly, and she knew that he was concealing the humor that lay beneath the surface. “Why am I blessed?” she dared to ask, reaching out and touching his cheek, savoring the feel of the stubble of his beard.

“Why, to have such a handsome husband.”

“Oh, you think so.”

“Yes. I was just thinking about how many millions of women there are in the world who would dearly love to wake up and see a good-looking fellow like your husband in bed beside them.”

Joelle grabbed at his earlobe and pinched it. “You are egotistical beyond belief!”

“Well, we have to face facts.” Luke grinned. He captured her hand and pulled it away from his ear. He studied it for a moment and his eyelids lowered. “I'm thinking of taking advantage of you.”

Joelle's eyes widened and then she laughed. “That's impossible!”

“No. I think I can do it.”

“No you can't. To take advantage, I'd have to be resisting, and you are such a handsome fellow that I don't see how I could possibly do that.” She pulled his head down until his face was only a few inches away from hers. “Say something sweet to me,” she demanded.

Luke thought for a moment and then said, “Marshmallow.”

Joelle laughed aloud. “You have no poetry in your soul.”

“Yes I have. I'm writing you a poem right now. I haven't got it on paper yet, but it's going to be a great poem.”

The two continued their teasing as they lay in bed, and Joelle enjoyed every minute of it. Suddenly she said with a more sober expression, “I always thought I'd be a maiden lady, as we used to call them.”

“Not much chance of that. Not a good-looking filly like you.”

Joelle wanted to get serious for a minute and explain to him how she felt. But where were the words to tell a man how a woman felt about him? How could she tell him about the strange fluttery feeling she got inside sometimes when she looked at him? How could she put into words the longing to see him again that came to her when he was gone for a few hours? And how to explain that the sight of him as he
suddenly appeared lifted everything in her to a height she had never known? She wanted to explain how empty she felt whenever he was gone, but the words were too hard for her to say, at least for this early in her marriage.

“I've got to get up and make biscuits for you,” she whispered.

“I didn't marry you to make biscuits.” He grinned and then took her in his arms, and they both forgot about breakfast.

****

The sun was barely up and the girls were still asleep. Joelle was cooking breakfast and Luke was sitting at the table, reading from the Bible she had given him for a wedding present. Joelle enjoyed getting up very early every morning, before the house became filled with the noise of all the girls giggling and talking. She had grown to love the cobwebby hours of the morning that she shared alone with Luke.

“What are you reading, Luke?” she asked.

“I'm reading about you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I found these verses about you last night. I'm underlining them.”

“What verses about me?”

“It says right here, ‘Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.' And then it goes on to say, ‘She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.' ”

“Why, Luke, that's so sweet!”

“Why, sure it is. I've told you I'm a sweet guy. Used to win awards for it. I was elected the sweetest guy by my senior class in high school.”

“I just bet you were. I bet you were a regular devil.”

“You hurt me in the heart when you say that, wife!”

“You might be exaggerating a little bit. Are you sure you want this omelet with all this junk in it?”

“Junk! I made that recipe up myself. You put everything in there just like I told you.”

“You really want jalapeño peppers in your omelet?”

“Yes, and those red peppers too. And those strong onions that came out of the garden.”

Joelle followed his instructions and finished the omelet, as well as her own, which contained only cheese, and slid them carefully onto plates. She added four pieces of thick toast to his plate and put it down beside him. She sat down and they said a quick blessing. She watched as he took a huge bite of his omelet and chewed it thoroughly. She laughed when tears came into his eyes.

“You see, it's so hot it's burning your mouth.”

“That's what makes it good. You can't get an omelet too hot or a wife too sweet. That's what I always say.”

“You won't have any taste buds left. You'll burn them all out with your hot peppers.”

They teased each other as they continued eating. When they were through, Joelle approached a subject she had been thinking about. “I've been meaning to ask you something, Luke.”

“Go right ahead. Whatever it is you want, I'll tell you how you can get along without it.”

“I don't want anything, but I'm wondering why you haven't called your family.”

Luke suddenly grew serious. He took the thick mug that was half filled with coffee and took a sip. “Well, you've got me there. I was waiting until I could go home with some kind of a triumph under my belt, but I don't guess that'll ever happen.”

“I don't know them, Luke, but I'll bet they're worried about you. You've told me enough that I know they're fine people.”

“Yes, they are.”

“Do you think they'll like me?” she asked wistfully.

“If they don't,” he said indignantly, “I'll cut them out of the will.”

“Luke, be serious. I think you ought to call them. I feel bad that we got married without inviting them or even telling them.”

“I expect you're right, but it's too late now to do anything about that. Tell you what. I'll write them this afternoon. Then we'll—” He broke off and twisted his head back toward the door. “Look out—here comes the thundering herd.”

The girls came rushing into the kitchen, and Sunny cried out, “I want pancakes for breakfast.”

Audrey Carpenter shook her head. “No. We had pancakes yesterday. I want oatmeal.”

Sunny made a face. “Oatmeal. That's for horses and cows.”

Joelle put an end to the argument by saying, “We're having omelets and toast today. Or you can have scrambled eggs if you prefer.”

“I'll have scrambled eggs,” Shirley said. She sat down beside Gladys, and the two began talking about the movie Joelle had agreed to take them to the previous weekend. “I think Errol Flynn is the handsomest man that ever lived,” Shirley said.