Authors: Jean Hanff Korelitz
“Well, thank
you,
(Mrs.) Lorna Joseph,” says Marian, pushing the folded paper back into the envelope and setting it down on top of the toilet lid. A little praise, a little heatâ¦isn't it nice how everything is working out? And to think that there is a whole group of women waiting to show her around St. Louis! Marian begins to think of excuses to go to St. Louis. The centenary of the World's Fair? The arch? Barbecue?
She drinks a little more brandy.
The next letter is written on hotel stationery from the Miami Marriott but postmarked Los Angeles. It contains no salutation, and reads:
How dare you eggrandise this lesbien! “Lady” Charlotte was no lady and your as bad as her. I saw you on
Today
and it's a disgrace how you go around making out like this womans some kind of saint when all she did was fornicate with men she was'nt married to! You need to think about what your doing with your life. I am sending you some litrature because Jesus loves you and has a plan for you're life, and its not to write books about homosexuals.
It is signed
A Christian Women.
The inevitable brochure is attached with a paper clip. Its cover shows a painting of the Rapture: planes crashing into buildings, trains on fire, saintly bodies rising from their graves.
Marian puts it on the toilet seat, too.
In her new, albeit fragile, mood, this letter does not unduly distress her. One lesson she has learned is that any opinion expressed by a person who does not understand how to use an apostrophe may be disregarded with impunity. Marian sips her brandy and contemplates the lights of the city through her bathroom's tall, narrow window.
Next letter:
Dear Professor,
I write to tell you that my father's mother was Jane Wilcox, who was born in Chicago in 1923. My father thinks his mom's dad hailed from New York someplace, so I was wondering if you could write back to me and tell me where we fit in to the Wilcox family your book was about. My dad says you should look around the Jamestown areaâthat's where he thinks the family is from. I'm looking forward to hearing from you!
Sincerely yours,
Paul MacDonald
“Hire a genealogist, Mr. MacDonald,” Marian says and sighs. “I'm a little busy right now.”
She picks up the next letter.
It slips from its white envelope, a folded piece of paper that bears the heading “New York Public Library, Tremont Branch, Bronx,” but the handwriting, belying such official stationery, is juvenile. Indeed, it slopes down to the right as it crosses the page, as if suffering from the lack of ruled lines.
Dear Professor,
I read your book about the woman who went to England and everything she did. I don't think I can understand what she had to be so happy about, because she was in prison. Didn't she mind being in prison? My mom's in prison and she doesn't like it and neither do I. I feel like I'm missing the point of your book, so I decided to write to you. I know you're probably too busy to answer me, but my address is 2111 Hughes Avenue, Bronx, New York 10457.
Yours very truly,
Soriah Neal
P.S. I'm eleven.
Oddly enough, the first thing Marian thinks is,
This girl understands the purpose of the apostrophe.
The second thing she thinks is,
Why is an eleven-year-old reading my book?
And then the last thing, before depression overwhelms her:
This is the saddest letter I have ever read.
I
n the morning, Oliver eats his habitual breakfast of scrambled eggs at the Pink Teacup on Grove Street, and reads the
New York Times.
In the Metro section there is an article about Bette Midler and her garden guerillas. The photograph shows the grinning diva wallowing in topsoil up in Harlem, surrounded by children and planting a dwarf apple tree. In the Arts section there is a review of a troupe of obese modern dancers, and Oliver gazes in wonder at the picture: bending bodies, their rolls of flesh defiantly bared, their faces grim. He looks at his watch, thinks of Marian asleepâsleeping it off, he hopesâand goes back to his paper. He is the only one in the restaurant just now, apart from Sam, the weekend waiter. Earlier, a groovy Village family had colonized the front table with their coloring books and newspapers and platters of food, and there was a tense young couple glumly eating their eggs before setting off on their unhappy day together. Oliver accepts a third cup of mediocre coffee and sits, turning the pages. He hopes Marian won't wait too long to call. It's a clear morning, blue and warm, and he would like to walk somewhere. South, Oliver decides. He never goes south. All the way to Bowling Green andâwhy not?âeven beyond. He hasn't been on the Staten Island Ferry in years. He reads the review of a nineteenth-century courtesan's biography. This is one of several, hopeful, postâLady Charlotte books he has noted. None have succeeded as Marian's has. He smiles with pride, puts away his paper, and pays his check.
Outside, he resists the urge to set out alone, to simply take off and begin the journey of his day. The point is to be with her, not merely to do what he wishes to do on his own, so Oliver dutifully retraces his steps to Commerce Street and enters his shop. Bell has arrived and is unloading from Twenty-eighth Street. There is a Jackson Pollock spatter of water across the dark wooden floorboards, from the doorway to the refrigerators. Oliver, pausing to survey the new blooms already arranged in their tin pails, notes to his satisfaction that Bell's taste, already naturally good, is improving.
“Howdy,” he calls to the back of the shop. “Nice hydrangeas.”
“I thought so,” Bell's voice returns. “Never saw a purple like that on a hydrangea.”
“You ought to get out more,” says Oliver. Then he groans. “Jesus, Bell, who do you think's going to buy a black calla? How much did they cost?”
“You kidding?” He sticks his head out of the back room, his arms full of orange roses, and grins. “You ever heard of Halloween?”
“They look funereal,” Oliver comments, eyeing them. The flowers are smooth, sinewy, downright scary. They give him the willies.
“I want to put some in the window.” Bell sounds mischievous. He hauls the roses to the refrigerator and then sets a black urn on the worktable. The urn looks funereal, too. “You watch. It'll be like
Little Shop of Horrors
in here:
Say! What is that unusual plant!
”
Oliver sighs. “Fine. But let's not go overboard. Don't buy any more until we see how these do, okay?”
Bell shakes his head. “Why not decide you're gonna make black calla lilies the must-have flower for the nineties? Gotta think big, my friend.”
“Why not gamble on your own time, my friend?”
It's a rusty routine, by now. They both put up their hands.
“Didn't expect to see you,” says Bell, tying back his dreadlocks and preparing the urn. “Weren't you going to be away for the weekend?”
“Yes,” Oliver agrees, trying for an offhand tone. “Small change in plans.”
“She kick you out?” Bell asks. “I keep telling you, if you're serious about this girl you need to say so. Women are very insecure. They're not good at subtleâyou have to spell it out.”
Oliver marvels at how easily Bell can accomplish this authoritative posture. He feels as if he is a child on a stool in a kitchen, listening to Mommy. Actually, he is a year older than Bell.
“She didn't kick me out.” Oliver sounds petulant. He sounds like an idiot. “We just changed our plans.”
“Yeah,” Bell says with a grin, plucking the first black calla from the tabletop, clipping its stem, feeding it through a skein of chicken wire inside the urn. “You think I haven't been there? It's like you got them coming at you from all sides when you just want to be having fun, but the minute you really fall for somebody, you're at the start of an obstacle course in the dark.”
“Which is why you stick to the just having fun part,” Oliver says dryly.
“Exactly, my friend.”
Oliver has to admit, the lilies look good. Macabre, but sexy in their Edward Gorey container, ready to make mischief and exude superiority. He should listen to Bell more, it occurs to him. But not about Marian. Oliver has shared none of the salient details with his employee, who probably supposes that Oliver is in love with some gallery girl or waitress-slash-something. Bell has neverâOliver is quite sureâfelt about any of his many girlfriends what Oliver feels for Marian.
“White Rose!” Bell says, answering the phone as the door opens to a trio of beautiful blond men. “That's not ringing a bell,” Oliver hears him say. “It's possible someone else took the order. Can you let me have your name?”
One of the men is opening the cooler doors. Oliver, frowning, is about to step across the room when he hears Bell say, “I'm sorry, it was
going
to Klein or we're
billing
to Klein?”
Both, thinks Oliver, abandoning the three men, who are now pawing the hydrangeas, and rushing to Bell. “I'll take that,” he says, reaching for the phone. “I know about that order. Go help those guys, okay?”
Bell hands over the phone, looking relieved.
“Hi, can I help you?” Oliver says, speaking, perhaps, a mite deeply. “Is this Mr. Ochstein?”
“This is Barton Ochstein,” says Barton Ochstein. “Who am I speaking to?”
“I'm the owner,” says Oliver, truthfully enough. “I got the order for roses. Deliver toâ¦ah,” he says, trying to remember the name of the fiancée, “Miss Klein?”
“On Friday,” Barton says and harrumphs. “And they must arrive before dinner. White roses, yes? The card should say,
For dear Sophie, from Bart.
Should I spell that?”
“No need,” Oliver says, writing it down. He is wondering why Barton, having gone to the effort of assigning this chore, is bothering to phone, himself. “I've already been given the address,” he says. “And how would you like to handle payment?”
“Just send me the bill,” he says shortly. “But there is another matter.”
Oliver frowns.
“The young lady who phoned you to place the order? Her name is Olivia.”
Unsure of how to respond, Oliver merely nods. Then he says, “Okay.”
“I would also like to have flowers sent to Olivia.”
“Oh.” Oliver actually blushes. “And what sort of flowers?”
“Whatever you're sending to Miss Klein, send the same. That should keep it simple.”
“Olivia,” he says, testing the name out loud. “Olivia what?”
“I don't know,” Barton says dismissively, as if this particular bit of information is beneath his interest. “She works for Marian Kahn. I believe Marian Kahn is a client of yours.”
“We know Dr. Kahn,” Oliver says in some disbelief.
“Well then, you can find out. Only the flowers must be sent to Olivia at home, not at work. You will have to find out her home address. I don't have that.”
Oliver takes a deep breath. “Soâlet me just make sure I understand, Mr. Ochsteinâone arrangement of white roses, this Friday, to Miss Klein, and an identical arrangement toâ¦Olivia. On the same date?”
“No need to wait till Friday on that one,” he says. “You may proceed with that order immediately.”
“All right,” Oliver says meekly, his head spinning.
“And I want the card to sayâ¦are you ready?”
“Ready?” Oliver asks.
“Are you writing this down?”
“Oh,” he says and nods, “yes, I'm ready.”
“Darling Olivia, you are enchanting. I would love to see you again. Please phone me at⦔
Oliver, breathless, scribbles down the numbers.
“With kindest regards, Barton Warburg Ochstein. That's W-A-R-B-U-R-G, not B-E-R-G.”
“Warburg,” Oliver confirms.
“That's all then,” Barton says. “I've just given you my number, so phone me if you have any questions.”
“I will,” Oliver says, shaking his head in wonder, and Barton hangs up the phone without further comment.
Across the room, Bell is holding individual stems of hydrangea while the three men argue their relative merits. The two scenariosâsimultaneous white rose arrangements to prospective wife and prospective conquest and hydrangea by committeeâseem, for a moment, equally absurd. Oliver, abandoning the latter, takes the new order to his office in back and writes it down again, on an official order form, marking the Olivia request with an “O.” He pins this to the bulletin board above his worktable. How he will handle the Olivia end of things he is not equipped to decide just now, but as the intended recipient of the illicit white roses, Oliver understands that he can do it privately, whatever it is, and that is no small relief.
“I'm going,” Oliver says when the three men, their superior stems selected, depart.
Bell nods without looking up. “All under control.”
Oliver fumbles with the key in his apartment door and goes upstairs. His heart quickens at the green light on his answering machine, blinking its own cardiac rhythm. Marian, he thinks, phoning about their date. He lunges for the button.
“Ohâ¦you've gone out,” her recorded voice says sadly. “Well, listen, sweetheart, here's the thing. I know you're going to be upset, but I actually had a pretty bad night and I think the best thing would be for me to just spare you my company right now. You won't believe me, but it's in your best interests, because I wouldn't spend the day with me either if I didn't have to. So what I'm going to do is head out to the beach and just be a misanthrope and try to at least get some work done.”
Oliver, deflated with disappointment, shakes his head. He wants to alternately hug her and hit her.
“Oliver, please don't be mad. I feel terrible about this, but I'm absolutely convinced that if we spent the day together you'd hate me by the end of it, so I'm being selfish because I don't want that to happen. Look, I'm going to call you tonight, okay? I love you. Bye.”
You love me, Oliver thinks. You just can't stand to be with me.
The phone rings, jarring him, and he snatches it up, though he knows it isn't her. How could it be her? She's already on the LIE, in flight from him.
“Hello?”
“Sweetheart?”
He inhales, then summons a buoyant “Hi!” It's his mother, the only other woman who calls him sweetheart.
“Is it a bad time? Are you doing something?”
Are you with someone?
in other words.
“No, of course not. Just sitting around. What's up?”
“Oh, it's a pain, but Henry can't come to the ballet tonight, after all. He has to meet that woman he's representing, to do something about the trial.”
“On Saturday night?” He regrets saying this instantly.
“The court date's in two weeks,” she says, her voice careful and calm. “I guess they need the extra time.”
“Of course,” Oliver says, a little too heartily. “That makes sense.”
“So he can't come with me. I've had the tickets for ages, and I thought I'd see if you were free. Are you? I know it's not much of a Saturday night. Your old mom⦔
“That's right,” Oliver laughs. “Twist the knife. Of course I'd love to. Why don't you come here first, for dinner?”
“No! Let me take you out.”
He declines. “I've got something I was going to cook tonight, anyway. And I don't like those restaurants up around Lincoln Center.”
“Well, if that's what you want. I'll come around six?”
They hang up. Oliver has not seen Caroline for nearly a month. This absenceâas he knows perfectly wellâis a hardship for her, and one for which their frequent phone conversations do not entirely compensate, but it hasn't been easy to be with his mother since meeting Marian. He thinks sadly now of the short ribs in their hopeful marinade, the frisée and box of orzo with which he had hoped to feed a lover, and an evening lost on the ballet (those tall, skinny girls with their washboard chests and impossible legs), and allows himself a moment of genuine self-pity.
Then, feeling chastened, he walks to his kitchen and opens the fridge.
The beef is soupy, gone gray in its wine bath, and smells of garlic. Oliver stands, drinking cranberry juice from the bottle, and considers. The day is his to be salvaged, and though his plans have been upended (and with them, he notes, his ambition to walk downtown), another use for the hours ahead now occurs to him. Oliver bends down and pulls out the fruit drawer: inside is a pile of little tin-foil sacks, each twisted at the end around a swelling the size of a walnut, each labeled with a tag.
He has never done this before.
He knows that he is supposed to be daunted, that roses resist the fumbling attentions of amateurs like himself, but the sight of his rose hips, chilled andâaccording to his notesâready to germinate, elates him. The fact that failure is probable has not dampened his spirits, either last spring when he began his project or indeed today, when it strikes him as a good time to go forward.
Oliver takes his foil sacks to the kitchen table and retrieves from his desk a large black notebook, unopened since June. He is reassured to see that his notes are legible, their content clear, and is grateful that in this, at least, he has heeded not only the advice of his high school biology teacher (the disagreeable Boris Benedict, of prehistoric tenure) but also of Joe Murray, resident deity of Kent Roses in Connecticut, where much of Oliver's shop inventory is produced. Last spring, Joe responded to Oliver's wish to create a new rose with a kind of sarcastic grunt, but followed it with an offer of genuine advice. He listened, first, to Oliver's overblown description of the hoped-for rose (not knowing, but perhaps suspecting, that his young customer was newly in love), nodded with forbearance at the proposed “mother” (a pretty hybrid tea rose with five petals, called White Wings, already in bloom back on Commerce Street), and then took Oliver deep into the greenhouse to point out a trio of good paternal candidates. He showed Oliver how to collect the pollen sacs and stow them in baby food jars, then he dictated a road map for what came next. Scrawling frantically on a blank page in his Filofax, Oliver transcribed the rapid-fire, often anecdotal instructions about clipping off the stamens and pistils, applying the pollen, and harvesting the hips. It all smacked of the breeding barn and sounded inescapably obscene. The next day, when he phoned Marian, still in high excitement, she told him that he sounded like a master of ceremonies at an orgy.