The Widow and the Wastrel (19 page)

On a strip of pale blue material was scrawled Jed's name and the date. Elizabeth made a swift mental calculation and looked at him in surprise.

"You were only sixteen!" she breathed.

Jed chuckled softly. "I had the devil's own time persuading Sam to teach me without my parent’s permission. He knew if there was any accident, Dad would come down on him like a ton of bricks."

"You mean they don't know?"

"Eventually they found out. Somebody from town saw me landing a plan and mentioned it to Dad. I was only a few hours away from getting my license when Dad stopped my allowance. Fortunately Sam let me work out the rest of the money. In college, I wanted to major in aerodynamics, but Dad wouldn't hear of it. As long as he was paying the tuition, he insisted I had to take up law, like all the rest of the Carrels. His mouth twisted bitterly before he shook away the memory. "Come on, let's walk."

From the flight office, they wandered into the hangar area. In one of the sheds, a man in overalls was working on a plane. When he spotted them, he cupped his hands to his mouth and called out:

"Do you want me to roll out the twin for you, Jed?"

"Not today, Sam," Jed waved the offer aside.

Elizabeth was nestled under the crook of his arm. She tilted her head back to gaze into his face, her heart singing a bit at the warmth with which his tawny eyes returned her look.

"Have you been out here often since you came back?" she asked.

"You surely didn't think I spent all that time at the Reisner farm, did you?" he grinned.

"I didn't know where you were or who you were with." A faint pink of self-consciousness glowed in her cheeks as she averted her gaze.

"But you were imagining," Jed teased, tightening his arm around her shoulders as they ducked beneath the wing of a tied-down plane. "If I disappear on you some day after we're married, don't check the golf course. Just go to the nearest airport and I'll probably be there."

Elizabeth stopped abruptly, her gaze freezing on his face and her heart nearly stopping altogether. The light breeze lifted the tobacco brown hair that fell over his forehead, revealing his puzzled frown.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"What—What did you just say?" she murmured.

"I said—" Then Jed stopped and laughed softly at himself. "I didn't intend to propose to you in just that way."

"Do you mean you want to marry me?" Elizabeth whispered, not quite believing it yet.

"What did you think I wanted?" Jed smiled gently as he turned her into his arms, locking his hands behind her back.

Closing her eyes, she leaned her head against his chest, feeling his lips moving in a tender caress against her hair. "I was afraid to think." Her voice trembled. "There was always the chance that all you wanted was an affair."

He lifted her chin with his finger. "Would you have settled for that?"

"If that was all I could have," she answered truthfully, the love in her heart pouring out of her glistening eyes.

Possession marked the kiss that bruised her lips. It was a hard, short kiss as if to punish her for doubting the depth of his emotion. There was a determined glitter in his eyes when he lifted his head.

"Now you know I mean to have you for ever," Jed said firmly. "I knew you belonged to me that night Jeremy brought you home."

At this moment, Elizabeth didn't want to think, only feel. She warned this moment to stretch out for an eternity of time, to glory in his love for the rest of her life. But she wouldn't do that. Not yet, anyway.

"What…about Amy?" She stared at his open shirt collar for an instant before lifting anxious eyes to his face.

A bemused smile spread across his mouth. "Amy is a part of you. What did you think I was going to do? Tell you to get rid of her?" he laughed with a trace of bewilderment.

"I…wasn't sure," Elizabeth faltered again.

"Now you know," he answered patiently, lifting her chin when she would have averted her head. "You haven't said whether you'll marry me, Liza."

"Yes, but—"

Jed stiffened. "The answer is never "yes" when there's a "but" attached to it. The watchful and withdrawn look removed the warmth from his gaze as he studied her guilty expression intently. "What's bothering you?"

There was no resistance when she pulled away from his embrace. "Jed, if it was only me that was involved, I'd…I'd marry you in a minute." Nervously she brushed the hair away from her face. "I wouldn't care if we lived in the back room of some airport or a grass hut on a beach as long as I'd be with you. But I have to consider Amy's welfare."

"What are you asking? Whether I can keep you in the style you've become accustomed to?" Jed demanded tightly.

"No," she protested.

"What is it then? Do you measure the amount of faith you can have in a man by the size of his bank balance?"

Elizabeth's stomach churned at the bitterness in his expression. "What kind of a mother would I be, Jed, if I wasn't concerned how our marriage might affect Amy?" she asked quietly, lowering her chin so she wouldn't have to meet his accusing gaze.

"You might have sufficient trust in me to know that I would take care of you both," he answered grimly.

"I understand why you feel hurt," she replied in a choked voice. "You have every right to feel that way. But please understand the way I feel. I trust you with my life, Jed. And Amy trusts me with hers."

He turned away from her, raking his fingers through the thick brownness of his hair. A controlled fury darkened his eyes when he glanced at her.

"What will it take to make you decide whether you'll marry me or not?" he snapped.

"Just a little time," Elizabeth murmured. "I didn't expect you to propose. I'd…I'd like to think it over. Oh, Jed, I love you desperately—you must believe that." Her chin quivered. "I just don't want to give you an answer now that we both might regret."

"I'll never regret loving you." He stared into the cloudless blue sky, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. "If it's time you want, you have it." He pulled a hand from his pocket and stretched it toward her, keys jingled from his fingers. "Here, I'll find my own way home."

"Jed—"

"I'd like to be alone, Elizabeth," he interrupted sharply. "I have a few things to think over, too."

"I do love you," she murmured achingly, unable to shake the feeling that she had betrayed him as she clutched the keys tightly against her stomach.

His narrowed gaze slid to her. "If I didn't believe that, I don't think I'd let you go."

Slowly she turned and retraced her steps toward the car. The one time she had looked back she saw him walking in the opposite direction away from her. She felt miserable and sick inside.

At the car, she stopped and started to turn back. Her answer was yes. There was no other answer that she could possibly make. Without Jed, she would be an empty shell. She had already given him her heart and she couldn't take it back. Maybe Amy wouldn't have some of the material things that Elizabeth could give her now, but Amy would be a part of the happiness and love that she and Jed would share. And that was a priceless thing.

But she didn't run back to Jed as she wanted to. He had asked to be alone, and it was a request she felt she should respect. Besides, she didn't want him to think that her decision had been prompted by any sense of guilt. She would give him her answer the minute he arrived home. All she could do now was pray that he would accept the fact that she loved him and trusted him implicitly in everything.

Two hours later, Elizabeth was sitting at the piano picking out the tune of a popular love ballad. A gentle breeze dancing through the open French doors. The front door opened and closed. With her fingers resting soundlessly on the keys, she turned a nervously expectant smile toward the hall, love light glistening through the anxious green of her eyes. It was Rebecca who appeared in the archway.

"So this is where you are," her mother-in-law said sharply. "Mrs. Hanson said you weren't at the meeting today and that you didn't even bother to notify her that you wouldn't come. She said she phoned here but no one answered."

"I wasn't here." Elizabeth turned back to the piano. "I was with Jed."

There was an instant of alert silence before Rebecca murmured, "I see." She walked slowly into the room. "Where is he now?"

Elizabeth's fingers absently began playing a soft melody to ease the tension that suddenly enveloped the room. "At the airport."

"He's leaving?" There was surprised disbelief in the question.

"No. No, he'll be back later," Elizabeth assured her firmly, a faint smile touching the corners of her mouth.

"You sound very certain."

"He has asked me to marry him. I told him I wanted to think it over."

"That was very wise of you, my dear. I knew you were much too sensible to let your head be turned by a charming wastrel like my son. If you wish to remarry, you can certainly find a more suitable partner," Rebecca declared complacently.

"I don't think you understood me. I didn't refuse Jed." Elizabeth felt serenely calm as she met her mother-in-law's raised eyebrows. "It's the things in life you don't do that you regret. In fact, I have decided to marry him. If I didn't marry Jed, I would regret it the rest of my life."

"But what about Amy?"

"Amy will be well taken care of. We'll both see to that," Elizabeth answered confidently.

"You can't live on love!" Rebecca declared. "How on earth will he support the two of you when he doesn't have a job or money?"

"That's our concern, Rebecca."

"You're being foolish! You can't—"

The telephone interrupted her with a shrill ring. Rebecca glared at it angrily before giving in to its summons and walking to answer it. Elizabeth smiled at the barely disguised impatience in her mother-in-law's voice when she picked up the receiver. Her decision was unshakable. There was nothing Rebecca could say that would make her change her mind.

"Long-distance? No, he isn't here," Rebecca spoke sharply into the receiver. "I do expect him later. He has been ill for a few days. Perhaps that's why you weren't able to reach him."—Elizabeth had been listening absently, curious who it was that was calling Jed long-distance, but not really paying too close attention until she heard the note of sharpened interest in her mother-in-law's voice. "May I take a message for him?"—"I am his mother."—Quickly she began scribbling a message on the paper that was always kept beside the telephone, squinting at her writing without taking the time to get her glasses from her purse. "The offer was from whom?"—"Yes, I have the amount."—"I will give him the message the minute he comes in." Slowly Rebecca replaced the receiver on the hook, staring at the paper in front of her.

"Who was it?" Elizabeth asked, becoming more curious at her mother-in-law's puzzling behavior.

"It was from Jed's attorney in Honolulu. Jed's attorney," she repeated as if she couldn't accept what she was saying. "Some firm has just made an offer to buy his airline."

"I don't understand," Elizabeth frowned.

"I don't think I do either." There was a short, disbelieving laugh from Rebecca. "It seems Jed owns this company that flies cargo to the different islands in the Pacific and parts of the Asian mainland. Why didn't he tell us? Did you know?"

"No, I had no idea."

"He's," Rebecca held out the paper as proof, "a wealthy man. Oh, Elizabeth!" A smile broke across her face as she hurried quickly to take her daughter-in-law's hands in her own. "Of course you must accept his proposal. I'll take care of all the arrangements for the wedding. It'll be a small affair, not too many—"

"I believe you have a message for me, Mother." Jed's quiet voice slashed the air with the deadly silence of a rapier thrust.

The astonishment that had been on Elizabeth's face changed to horror as she whirled to see him standing in the French doors. The hardened look about his lean features confirmed her guess that he had overheard their conversation. The cat-gold eyes held her motionless, ignoring the gushings of his mother as she proclaimed how proud she was of him and bow delighted she was about his engagement to Elizabeth.

A sob bubbled into Elizabeth's throat. He would never believe her now. She could never convince him that she had been willing to marry him before she found out that he more than had the means to support her and Amy. No matter what she said, he would always think that the phone call had influenced her decision.

With a muffled cry of pain, she broke free of his gaze, tears scalding her eyes and cheeks as she raced from the room. She heard him call her name, but it only increased her desire to flee. She loved him too deeply to endure the sting of his mockery at this moment. Fumbling with the front doorknob, she jerked it open, not bothering to close the door as she hurried down the sidewalk.

Before she could reach the car Rebecca had left in the driveway in front of the garage, a hand was biting into the soft flesh of her arm, bringing her flight to an abrupt halt and spinning her around so that her other arm was captured also. She struggled against the punishing grip.
 

"Let me go! Please, Jed, let me go," she begged, twisting and turning her head so he couldn't see the tears streaming down her face.