The Winter's Tale (16 page)

Enter Autolycus

AUTOLYCUS
     Ha, ha! What a fool honesty is! And trust, his sworn
       brother, a very simple gentleman. I have sold all my
      
trumpery
⁶⁷⁰
: not a counterfeit
stone
, not a ribbon,
glass
,
    
pomander
⁶⁷¹
, brooch,
table-book
, ballad, knife, tape, glove,
       shoe-tie, bracelet,
horn-ring
⁶⁷²
, to keep my pack from
fasting
.
       They throng who should buy first, as if my trinkets had been
      
hallowed
⁶⁷⁴
and brought a
benediction
to the buyer, by which
       means I saw whose purse was
best in picture
⁶⁷⁵
, and what I saw,
       to my good
use
⁶⁷⁶
I remembered. My clown, who
wants
but
      
something
⁶⁷⁷
to be a reasonable man,
grew
so in love with the
       wenches' song, that he would not stir his
pettitoes
⁶⁷⁸
till he had
       both tune and words, which so drew the rest of the herd to me
       that all their other senses
stuck in ears
⁶⁸⁰
. You might have
       pinched a
placket
⁶⁸¹
, it was senseless; 'twas nothing to
geld a
       codpiece of a purse
. I would have filed keys off that hung in
       chains. No hearing, no feeling, but
my sir's
⁶⁸³
song, and
       admiring the
nothing
⁶⁸⁴
of it. So that in this time of lethargy I
       picked and cut most of their festival purses, and had not the
       old man come in with a
whoo-bub
⁶⁸⁶
against his daughter and
       the king's son and scared my
choughs
⁶⁸⁷
from the
chaff
, I had
       not left a purse alive in the whole army.

Camillo, Florizel and Perdita come forward

CAMILLO
     Nay, but my letters, by this means being there
       So soon as you arrive, shall clear that doubt.

FLORIZEL
     And those that you'll procure from King Leontes—

CAMILLO
     Shall
satisfy
⁶⁹²
your father.

PERDITA
     Happy be you!
       All that you speak shows fair.

CAMILLO
     Who have we here?
Sees Autolycus
       We'll make an instrument of this, omit
      
Nothing
⁶⁹⁷
may give us aid.

AUTOLYCUS
     If they have overheard me now, why, hanging.
Aside

CAMILLO
     How now, good fellow? Why shakest thou so? Fear
       not, man. Here's no harm intended to thee.

AUTOLYCUS
     I am a poor fellow, sir.

CAMILLO
     Why, be so still. Here's nobody will steal that from
       thee. Yet for the
outside of thy poverty
⁷⁰³
we must make an
       exchange: therefore
discase
⁷⁰⁴
thee instantly — thou must
      
think
⁷⁰⁵
there's a necessity in't — and change garments with
       this gentleman. Though the
pennyworth
⁷⁰⁶
on his side be the
       worst, yet hold thee, there's
some boot
⁷⁰⁷
.
Gives money

AUTOLYCUS
     I am a poor fellow, sir.— I know ye well
Aside
       enough.

CAMILLO
     Nay, prithee,
dispatch
⁷¹⁰
: the gentleman is half
flayed
       already.

AUTOLYCUS
     Are you
in earnest
⁷¹²
, sir? I smell the
trick
on't
.
Aside

FLORIZEL
     Dispatch, I prithee.

AUTOLYCUS
     Indeed, I have had earnest, but I cannot with
       conscience take it.

Florizel and Autolycus exchange clothes

CAMILLO
     Unbuckle, unbuckle.
       Fortunate mistress — let my prophecy
      
Come home to ye
⁷¹⁸
! — you must retire yourself
       Into some
covert
⁷¹⁹
; take your sweetheart's hat
       And
pluck
⁷²⁰
it o'er your brows, muffle your face,
      
Dismantle you
⁷²¹
, and, as you can,
disliken
       The truth of your own
seeming
⁷²²
, that you may —

       For I do fear
eyes over
⁷²³
— to shipboard
       Get
undescried
⁷²⁴
.

PERDITA
     I see the play so
lies
⁷²⁵
       That I must bear a part.

CAMILLO
     No
remedy
⁷²⁷
.
       Have you done there?

FLORIZEL
     Should I now meet my father,
       He would not call me son.

CAMILLO
     Nay, you shall have no hat.
Gives hat to Perdita
       Come, lady, come. Farewell, my friend.

AUTOLYCUS
     Adieu, sir.

FLORIZEL
     O Perdita, what have we
twain
⁷³⁴
forgot!
       Pray you a word.

CAMILLO
     What I do next, shall be to tell the king
Aside
       Of this escape and whither they are bound.
       Wherein my hope is I shall so prevail
       To force him
after
⁷³⁹
, in whose company
       I shall
review
⁷⁴⁰
Sicilia, for whose sight
       I have a
woman's
⁷⁴¹
longing.

FLORIZEL
     Fortune
speed
⁷⁴²
us!
       Thus we set on, Camillo, to th'seaside.

CAMILLO
     The swifter speed the better.

Exeunt
[
Florizel, Perdita and Camillo
]

AUTOLYCUS
     I understand the business, I hear it. To have an
       open ear, a quick eye, and a nimble hand, is necessary for a
      
cutpurse
⁷⁴⁷
; a good nose is requisite also, to smell out work for
       th'other senses. I see this is the time that the unjust man
       doth thrive. What an
exchange
⁷⁴⁹
had this been
without boot
?
       What a
boot
⁷⁵⁰
is here with this exchange? Sure, the gods do
       this year
connive at
⁷⁵¹
us, and we may do anything
extempore
.
       The prince himself is about a
piece of iniquity
⁷⁵²
, stealing away
       from his father with his
clog
⁷⁵³
at his heels. If I thought it were
       a piece of honesty to acquaint the king
withal
⁷⁵⁴
, I would not
       do't. I hold it the more knavery to conceal it; and therein am
       I
constant
⁷⁵⁶
to my profession.

Enter Clown and Shepherd
Carrying
fardel
and box
       Aside, aside. Here is more matter for a
hot
⁷⁵⁷
brain.
He stands aside
     Every lane's end, every shop, church,
session
⁷⁵⁸
, hanging,
       yields a
careful
⁷⁵⁹
man work.

CLOWN
     See, see. What a man you are now! There is no other
       way but to tell the king she's a
changeling
⁷⁶¹
and none of your
       flesh and blood.

SHEPHERD
     Nay, but hear me.

CLOWN
     Nay, but hear me.

SHEPHERD
    
Go to
⁷⁶⁵
, then.

CLOWN
     She being none of your flesh
       and blood, your flesh and blood has not offended the king, and so your flesh
       and blood is not to be punished by him. Show those things
       you found about her, those secret things, all but what she
       has with her. This being done, let the law go whistle, I
       warrant you.

SHEPHERD
     I will tell the king all, every word, yea, and his
       son's pranks too; who, I may say, is no honest man, neither
       to his father nor to me, to go about to make me the king's
       brother-in-law.

CLOWN
     Indeed, brother-in-law was the farthest off you
       could have been to him and then your blood had been the
       dearer by
I know how much an ounce
⁷⁷⁸
.

AUTOLYCUS
     Very wisely,
puppies
⁷⁷⁹
!
Aside

SHEPHERD
     Well, let us to the king. There is that in this
fardel
⁷⁸⁰
       will make him scratch his beard.

AUTOLYCUS
     I know not what impediment this
complaint
⁷⁸²
Aside
       may be to the flight of my
master
⁷⁸³
.

CLOWN
     Pray heartily he be at palace.

Aside

AUTOLYCUS
     Though I am not naturally honest, I am so
       sometimes by chance: let me
pocket up
⁷⁸⁶
my pedlar's
      
excrement
⁷⁸⁷
.— How now, rustics! Whither are you
       bound?

Takes off his false beard

SHEPHERD
     To th'palace,
an it like
⁷⁸⁹
your worship.

AUTOLYCUS
     Your affairs there? What? With whom? The
      
condition
⁷⁹¹
of that fardel, the place of your dwelling, your
       names, your ages, of what
having
⁷⁹²
, breeding, and any thing
       that is fitting to be known,
discover
⁷⁹³
.

CLOWN
     We are but
plain
⁷⁹⁴
fellows, sir.

AUTOLYCUS
     A lie; you are rough and hairy. Let me have no lying;
       it becomes none but tradesmen, and they often
give us
       soldiers the lie
⁷⁹⁶
, but we
pay them for it with stamped coin, not
       stabbing steel: therefore they do not give us the lie
⁷⁹⁷
.

CLOWN
     Your worship had like to have given us
one
⁷⁹⁹
, if you
       had not
taken yourself with the manner
⁸⁰⁰
.

SHEPHERD
     Are you a courtier, an't like you, sir?

AUTOLYCUS
     Whether it like me or no, I am a courtier. See'st thou
       not the air of the court in these
enfoldings
⁸⁰³
? Hath not my
      
gait
⁸⁰⁴
in it the
measure
of the court? Receives not thy nose
       court-odour from me? Reflect I not on thy
baseness
⁸⁰⁵
court-contempt?
       Think'st thou,
for that
⁸⁰⁶
I
insinuate
or
toaze
from
       thee thy business, I am therefore no courtier? I am courtier
      
cap-a-pie
⁸⁰⁸
; and one that will either push on or pluck back thy
       business there: whereupon I command thee to
open thy
       affair
⁸⁰⁹
.

SHEPHERD
     My business, sir, is to the king.

AUTOLYCUS
     What
advocate
⁸¹²
hast thou to him?

SHEPHERD
     I know not, an't like you.

Aside to the Shepherd

CLOWN
     Advocate's the court-word for a
pheasant
⁸¹⁴
.
       Say you have none.

SHEPHERD
     None, sir. I have no pheasant, cock nor hen.

AUTOLYCUS
     How blessed are we that are not simple men!
Aside
       Yet nature might have made me as these are, therefore I will
       not disdain.

CLOWN
     This cannot be
but
⁸²⁰
a great courtier.
To Shepherd

SHEPHERD
     His garments are rich, but he wears them not
       handsomely.

CLOWN
     He seems to be the more noble in being
fantastical
⁸²³
.
       A great man, I'll warrant; I know by the
picking on's teeth
⁸²⁴
.

AUTOLYCUS
     The fardel there? What's i'th'fardel? Wherefore that
       box?