The Wisdom of Evil (15 page)

Ch
apter 20

Just short of dawn on the morning following Michael’s death, Glory and Mickey set out through the back door, beyond the yard, into the vast woods and fields that made up their large parcel of land. Walking reverently in the wide open fields, they kept going until they found the right place to bury Michael. They’d bury him themselves, on their own land, a place he’d so loved. Haley would be buried right next to him.

Although
they knew they should apply for a burial permit, they didn’t. It wasn’t entirely uncommon for those with this much land to apply for permits to bury their dead on their own land in Maine. Glory and Mickey didn’t care if they were fined for doing it. This was where Michael belonged, where Haley belonged.

“Are you sure about this, Mom?”

Glory knew Mickey was concerned about her very sanity. Perhaps he thought she would become even more obsessed with death with two graves resting on their property.

“Yeah, I’m…sure.” In hindsight, she wished they’d thought to bury Olivia here as well. But, she and Michael weren’t even aware at the time that such a thing was possible. And besides, the way things were these
days; this was a minor infraction in comparison to the horrific crimes being committed all in the name of survival.

They
found the perfect spot under a massive pine tree. It was the largest of all the pines on their land. In the first light of dawn, the tree always appeared to glow. In the full light of day, it provided shade. While they stood underneath it, they sensed a feeling of profound peace, telling them this was the right place. Michael would always be close by. She knew then that she’d never leave this place; she’d live out whatever years she had left here.

After they
’d finished with the burial, Mickey had carved a stone for his father to place on top of the grave. Haley was buried beside him. Mickey made a wooden cross as a marker for his grave and hung his name tags from his collar on it. The land was peaceful. No signs of crazies, just like any normal day. The difference between night and day now was more than just the amount of light given by off by the sun; it was the difference between sanity and insanity.

Glory thought of the two people she’d killed the night before. She told
herself it was kill or be killed, eat or be eaten, and she shrugged off the pangs of guilt she felt at going along with such a cut throat, demoralizing world. In a few short years, she’d already lost a number of human qualities. It saddened her, especially after her early years of hard work to shed her cold, distant personality.

Of course, she notified the Cliff’s End police department
about Michael’s death. No one there gave her any flack about burying him at home; they understood. He was one of them and their sergeant as well. The police department was Michael and Glory’s second family. That was always the way with members of a police force or even a fire department; they were bound together by the inherent dangers of the job. Having to depend on one another for their very survival at times made for a very close knit group.

In the days that followed, the Cliff’s End police department took care of all the details necessary for the funeral itself. They notified everyone, both from their own department
, as well as the Boston police department. Glory, of course, called family members as well. Other than doing that, no one would allow her or Mickey to do anything. They brought food and drink and the warmth of their company. Although, while Glory was grateful for all they had done, her heart ached for Michael. She’d close her eyes and pictured him. The pain of not having the comfort of his strong arms around her was unbearable.

Finally, after the days of preparation, she stood alongside Mickey, dressed in black to say her
goodbyes to the love of her life.

To some, it might have appeared odd, a gathering
on private property of over one hundred officers and their wives. Many of those on the Boston police department were there as well. They’d pitched in along with the Cliff’s End police force and bought a bronzed plaque to place on the ground in front of the grave. Michael’s best friend, James, was devastated. He kept telling Glory and Mickey he should have been that night, but Michael hadn’t wanted to put him in danger, so he’d gone to the animal hospital alone. He slid the permit for burial through the code enforcement office, who dared not challenge it. They’d known and loved Michael as well. In fact, he was one of the most skilled and trusted cops in town.

It was sad and somber, but they stood proud with honor, just as Michael had
, in their dress uniforms. Proud to serve and protect their community. After their priest had blessed the site and prayers had been said, two officers, as well as two Naval officers with whom Michael had served, folded the American flag in traditional military fashion and handed it to Glory. They saluted her and turned to salute Michael. A flag pole was erected in front of his grave, the flag flying at half-mast. It swayed gently, beautiful in the light Maine breeze. No matter the troubles the country was facing at present, Michael had served it well, in the Navy and as a police officer. And in the process, she was sure; he felt he’d served God as well.

Neither Glory nor Mickey spotted a man with long, unkempt
, shaggy hair and beard standing at the edge of the woods.

After all the mourners left, Glory and Mickey walked into a silent home
, as silent as a tomb. There wasn’t a rambunctious Labrador retriever bounding toward them, delightfully happy to greet them, as Haley always had. Michael’s everyday uniform hung on a hanger in the bathroom, now without an owner.

G
lory lay down on Michael’s side of the bed, wrapping her arms around his pillow, trying to pick up his scent, picturing him in her arms again. She lay like that for what must have been hours. Her eyes closed, tears forming at the corners, but she didn’t cry. Just those few tears pooled at the very bottom of her lids and fell onto his pillow. Her grief was so profound, tears were not enough.

“Mom?” Mickey’s voice came from the doorway. “Can I get you anythin’? There’s a ton of food out in the kitchen from everybody. Do yah want something to eat?”

“No. Thank you…I just need to be alone for a while.”

“
’Kay. I’ll come back in a bit. Just call me if you need me. I’ll, um, clean up.”

She nodded, never moving her face from Michael’s pillow. Perhaps she’d never move again, just stay here, close her eyes and pretend that he was at work. That he’d be coming home to her.

Chapter 21

A sound broke through Glory’s sorrowful haze. Someone was knocking at the door. When no one came, they rang the doorbell.

“Go away!” Glory shouted, putting the pillow over her head to muffle the continuing knocking.

“Mom, there’s someone at the door. Do you want me to answer it? It’s a guy…looks harmless.”

“Answer it if you wanna
.” Glory didn’t really care. She wasn’t going to talk to anyone.

All Mickey could see was a dark shadow standing on the deck
, the bright sunlight of the day making a perfect silhouette of the figure standing outside.

Mickey opened the door.

“May I…help you?” Mickey asked politely.

“I’m here t
o see your mother,” the man said nervously. Did he pose a danger or not? Haley would’ve known immediately, but he was no longer with them.

Mickey looked him over. He looked like one of the crazies
. Maybe he wasn’t so harmless after all. His clothes were dirty; his long, straggly hair was unwashed and hung to his shoulders. His face and beard were filthy as well. But his eyes were clear and calm. Mickey decided to trust his instincts. He let him in.

“Mom, there’s a guy here t
o see yah.”

“Tell ‘im to go away.”

“Glory?” The man stood behind Mickey in the doorway to the bedroom.

The voice was familiar, although she couldn’t say why.

She got up and stood in front of him. He stared into her eyes. It was as if she were looking at her own! Now she knew why she’d recognized his voice. It was someone who knew her well; a long time ago in what seemed like another lifetime. It was her brother Ted.

Glory was astonished!
“Oh my God! Is that…you, Ted?” she whispered, feeling no hatred toward him.

She felt something she never thought she’d ever feel in his presence
, relief! He was still her family, no matter what else he was. Brother and sister embraced, hugging each other fiercely, without word, seeking comfort in each other’s arms. Some connections could never be broken. Life was not as simple as she’d thought, not black and white. There were plenty of gray areas to be sure. But this—he was all that was left of her early history. In her hurt and immature selfishness, she’d failed to remember some things. He’d lived in that abusive house as well! He’d suffered many a beating at their father’s hands and had lived with an emotionally vacant mother, too. The tears were bittersweet as each realized with sadness that they’d lost years together. Years they’d needed each other, but were too young and stubborn to admit to.

Ted held his hand out to Mickey, but he wouldn’t take it. He muttered some lame
excuse, went to his room, and closed the door. Glory understood. Perhaps he was unable to forgive Ted and Sean yet, if ever.

The ensuing silence was deafening, yet spoke
volumes. There was so much to say, but where to start?

“
I’m so sorry about Michael,” Ted said solemnly. “He was a good man.”

“
Thank you. Yeah, he was. He saved my life. It cost him his own.”

Thinking
of Michael’s death bed confession, she knew she’d have to tell Ted. It was only right to give him closure in the death of his only son. As much as it killed her to taint Michael’s memory in any way, she owed it to him.

“I have t
o tell you something, Ted. After you hear what I have to say, you may never want to speak to me again. Might even hate me, but…”

“Don’t
, Glory. I already know. Have always known. You know, for the past few years, I hated Michael for what he’d done. And I hated you for not seeing the truth of it. But, havin’ plenty of time to think, being alone now, I came to understand. I probably woulda done the same thing. They were our
children
, after all! Parents wanna protect their kids and sometimes they do things no rational person would dream of. Hell, just havin’ the responsibility for another life is enough to make you do things you’d never think you would!”

“I know it doesn’t change anything, and Michael is…gone. So, he can’t speak on his own behalf, but if he were here with us right now, we’d both be saying we’re sorry. I’m…sorry.” Now the tears came
; she sobbed for all of it. Michael, Olivia, Haley, her entire family left in ruins, and she couldn’t blame it all on the mysterious figure that plagued her still. She knew full well she wasn’t entirely innocent in the events that had shaped her life.

“It’s okay, Glory,” he said
, taking her in his arms, kissing the top of her head. “I missed yah, you know? I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I hope I can be the brother you need.”

“I think we’ve all made our fair share of mistakes, Ted. You don’t need to be anything but who you are
. My brother.”

“You
an’ Michael were great parents and you were an amazing couple. I envied and resented you for a long time. You were able to rise above our fucked up childhood and become a truly exceptional wife, mother and…human being.”

“
I’ll tell you something, Ted. I never really understood what love was, not really. I mimicked the emotions a lot of the time, pretended. I wavered back an’ forth between feeling love and feeling, well, nothin’ at all. And I have a serious psychological condition too. Worse than drinking, I think. Worse than anything you can imagine.”

He looked truly surprised.
“What could be so bad?” he asked.

She told him all about the Thanatophobia, but not about the “real” Grim
Reaper, because that would really sound nuts! Instead, she spoke of her daughter.

“When Olivia died,
she took a big chunk of my heart with her, if you want to know the truth of it. I visit her grave a lot.”

“I know you do
.”

“How do you know that?”

He reached into the pocket of his jacket, his eyes still on hers, and took something out, his fist wrapped loosely around the object in his hand. Extending his hand out to her, he spread his fingers out, revealing what lay in his palm.

Glory put her hand to her mouth
, her eyes wide in disbelief. Resting there were the delicate petals of a yellow rose.

“It was
you
! That’s where the roses on Olivia’s grave came from!”

“Y
es. I remembered they were her favorite.” His voice cracked with emotion.

“Can you…stay with us? I mean, do y
ou need a place to stay?”

“Nah. I’m okay
.” He waved her off. “You know I’d never leave Boston. Even though it’s pretty bad there now, its home. I’d like to try to talk to Mickey if yah don’t mind.”

“Of course, yeah, sure…I’ll get ‘im.”

He stopped her. “No, I want to talk to him alone, man to man.”

It seemed as if hours passed. Glory paced the kitchen floor, hoping the two could reconcile. The three of them were all that was left of her family and family was everything. Finally, the door creaked open and
they stood before her.

“Well?” s
he asked.

“We made a deal
.” Ted slowly smiled. Mickey nodded, smiling tentatively, but at least it was something.

“What deal?”

“If I fuck up, Mickey’s goin’ to kill me, shoot me dead.”

“Without hesitation, Uncle Ted.”

“Men!” Glory shook her head.

They shook hands
. A firm handshake from Mickey meant something all right. Like his father, he was a man of honor. And like men, they’d put aside their differences in their own way, with a joke and a handshake, so much simpler than all the hemming and hawing women did.