The Wizard's War (29 page)

“You should not touch me,” I said as gently as I
could.

Her face fell. “I am sorry,” she said, her voice
unsure for the first time. I hated the shame and doubt in her eyes as she
looked down at the floor.

I reached out, pushed her chin up with a finger, and
then quickly let go. “No, I am sorry. When we touch, my void blood will destroy
your magic energy.” Her eyes widened. “Not for long. Any energy you absorb from
the world is drawn to me and destroyed when we touch. Once you let go, you will
be fine, but no one has ever touch me for long, so I have no idea what
long-term exposure might cause.”

“So you have never been with a woman before?”

“No woman has ever been willing to risk their magic
even to kiss me.”

Before I could say another word, she leaned up
slightly and kissed me. Her lips were warm and softer than what I thought a
kiss would be. It occurred to me that I was being rude by not kissing her back,
but by then she was done and had stepped away.

“Thank you for the book,” she said, then turned and
ran off. When I finally arrived at breakfast, she smiled at me but otherwise
ignored me to fuss over her sisters.

The younger sisters were adapting well, except that
Ada refused to eat anything other than candy. Having come up with a plan the
night before, I spoke with the cooks. A plate was prepared especially for Ada
that included vegetables and meat deep-fried with sweet breads. The cooks were
under the instructions to gradually decrease both the sugar and the bread until
the child would eat regular food.

As much as uprooting her life and moving away from
her father was a shock, I couldn’t very well force the girl to change her diet,
but I figured fried vegetables were better than candied sugar. The child must
have figured out what I was doing, because while I was sitting in my library
that evening, Ada came in and sat beside me. Without saying anything to her, I
began reading aloud. She had been warned not to touch me, even though she
clearly wanted to lean against me.

At dinner, she sat to my left while Zeda sat to my
right. I was fully prepared for Zeda to be angry with me over making the
decision to change Ada’s diet without my wife’s knowledge. Instead, I woke the
next morning to a drawing of Ada and me in the library and another kiss when I
opened my door.

Before she could run off, I took her hand and pulled
her into my room so we could talk in private. We both sat on my bed, facing
each other without touching, and talked. She told me about her life growing up
and what her mother was like. She had many funny stories about her sisters, as
well as some sad ones.

Once she ran out of things to say, I told her about
my life… it was a much more somber story. Several times, she would reach out to
take my hand, only to freeze and take it back. She was afraid of my curse even
if she was willing to kiss me.

“Is there any way to stop your curse?”

I sighed. “I have been offered it before by one of
the gods. Adre became the leader of a slave ring in the under cities. Nano’s
wife, Vivian, helped me stop it, but when I faced Adre, Vretial came to me and
offered to undo the curse.”

“You said no?”

“I am a void. That is all I have ever been. It was
never pleasant or easy, but it is my life. The void is not evil any more than
death is. You have magic; you are bonded to Dios by that magic. I am a void; I
am just as bonded to the abyss that is beyond the universe. Were my curse to
end, maybe my life would be better, but this is all I know.”

“Even if it means we can never touch?” she asked.

“I have prepared myself to be alone since my mother
left me.”

“That is not really an answer to my question.”

A knock on the door disturbed the sudden silence.
Kseve entered before I could answer it. “Hello, High King and High King’s
wife,” the goblin said rudely.

“Forgive him, he has no manners,” I said.

The goblin glared at me. “If I have no manners, then
perhaps I should keep this food I brought you all for myself,” he said,
indicating the metal tray in his hands that was piled high with food. I jumped
up from the bed to plead, but it was Zeda who beat me to it.

“No, Nila is sorry! Please! I want the food! I have
not eaten in several hours!” She put on a first-class whine and I was almost
impressed. I had never seen someone look pretty while whining.

The guard uncharacteristically gave in and passed the
tray to her, which she pretended to horde from me until Kseve left. After
eating, I showed her some of my favorite books in the library. That night, we
returned to my room to talk some more and we fell asleep on my bed. I put a
pillow between us so we wouldn’t accidentally touch.

*          *          *

I woke to the most horrible sound in the world; Zeda
was throwing up. The door of the luxurious bathroom attached to my bedroom was
open and the violent sound echoed off the stone walls. I went to the open door.
Zeda was sweating, her face pale.

“The food must have made me sick because I feel
horrible,” she said, sitting back.

I knew it was pity on my face, but it was for myself.
“It was not the food that made you sick. We were too close last night, even if
we never touched.”

She looked horrified. “So we cannot even sleep in the
same bed?”

I turned, unable to stomach what I was doing.

“Wait, I can deal with this. You are worth it,” she
said. Then she threw up again.

I stepped out of my room and shut the door behind me.
Kseve stood to the left of my door. “Bring her some medicine and tea,” I said.
I hid the rest of the morning in my library with the door locked.

Is that what I did to my mother?
If my curse
was passed down to my child, would Zeda be unable to sleep in the same room as
him? Would my child cry all night for his mother while she stood in the other
room, having to listen to him without going to him?

I sat on the floor and did something I had only ever
done a few times; I prayed to Zer. I prayed that if he couldn’t cure my curse,
he would send Vretial. After hours of no response, when my muscles cramped from
my position and my stomach growled, I stood and returned to my room. Zeda was
not there.

I started a bath as I considered how to go about
getting the curse removed. My best bet was to convince Nano to talk to Zer, but
Zer was not an accommodating god. I tried calling to Tiamat, but I didn’t get a
response out of her either.

A knock sounded on my door right as I was about to
get into the tub. I considered ignoring it for a second until the knock came
again, louder and more hurried. I wrapped a towel around me and opened the
door. To my surprise, it was Vivian who stood in the hallway. I realized
something was off about her eyes as she pushed me back and shut the door behind
her.

“What’s going on?” I asked in English. “Where’s
Nano?”

Instead of answering me, she wrapped her arms around
my neck and kissed me. She was tall, well endowed, and gorgeous, but it felt
like I was being kissed by my sister. I pushed her away as gently as I could. I
wanted answers, not to hurt her.

“What are you doing?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. I love you, Nila.”

Frozen in shock, I couldn’t react when she kissed me
again. She let me go long enough to undo my towel and then pulled her shirt
over her head. Her deep red hair was mussed, but not a tangled mess, while her
cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen slightly from kissing me. Her
eyes were not nearly as bright and focused as they normally were.

“Where is Nano?” I asked, taking a step back. I
tripped over the towel and fell hard.

“Who cares?” She got down on top of me and tried to
kiss me again, but I pushed her away.

A sharp gasp made me turn and look. Zeda was standing
in the doorway with shock and heartbreak very clear on her face. Vivian still
tried to reach for me, but I pushed her away again. Zeda left and by the time I
was able to make it past Vivian to the door, Zeda was gone. Kseve, who was
standing by my door, was staring down the hall. I figured that was the way she
had gone.

I dressed faster than I ever had in my life. “Lock
Vivian in a room somewhere until whatever is in her system clears.” I took off
down the hall before he could ask any questions, but I couldn’t find her.
Eventually, I found Ada, who hadn’t seen her sister all day, and Thessa, who
refused to tell me anything.

“She will still marry you,” the teenager said, “but
she does not want to see you otherwise. How could you betray her? Zeda is the
sweetest---”

“It is not what you think. I never betrayed her.”

“Sleeping with another woman is not betraying your
wife?”

“Vivian is Nano’s wife, and I never slept with her.
What happened in there was wrong. I feel nothing more for Vivian than I would a
sister, and when she comes out of whatever affliction she is under, she will
probably throw up with shame because she feels nothing for me.”

“Zeda will never trust you again.”

I sighed and crossed my arms. I knew anything I
touched would crumble in my hands. My face could forever be calm, but inner
turmoil always doubled or even tripled my strength. “I know. Just tell her I am
sorry and that it was not what it looked like.”

“Do you love Zeda?” Thessa asked.

“Can you love someone you have only known for a few
days?” Even as I said that, I knew the answer.

*          *          *

After five days of not seeing Zeda at all, I really
missed her. She had food brought to her own room and wouldn’t visit her
library. I told her sisters I would stay out of her way so she didn’t have to
avoid me, but the woman wouldn’t even let Thessa or Ada in.

At my meetings, the kings and the council asked where
my wife was. I told them she was just very busy, but I recognized the looks
they sent each other. They all thought my void blood had something to do with
it, which I wished was the case.

Vivian had come out of her trance within hours of the
event, but I hadn’t heard anything else about her other than that she didn’t
know what caused it and that she was too ashamed to see me.

After one particularly boring meeting, during which I
could only think of Zeda, I went to her room. Instead of speaking or knocking,
I just sat outside the door. When a servant brought Zeda food, I just scooted
to the side so I wasn’t in the way and hoped I would hear Zeda. She didn’t say
anything, though.

*          *          *

I woke in my own bed, which Kseve must have moved me
to in my sleep. It was the morning of the practice ceremony. Our real ceremony
was the next day, but I knew if I couldn’t get Zeda to talk to me during the
practice, I would cancel our wedding. I couldn’t have a wife who hated me any
more than I could have a mother who wanted to drown me.

It was a somber, rainy morning as I dressed in my
official wedding clothes. I wore black pants with gold stitching, a simple
undershirt, and a long, stiff black jacket with gold embroidery of my family
crest. And what a family it was.

I had nothing to be proud of as the High King. I was
born with the right and came into it by being the only one who survive aside
from my older brother, who killed my father. For my struggles, I ruled a world
of power-hungry people who normally acted less intelligent than trolls and less
civil than goblins.

I didn’t want to be king; I just didn’t want the
power to be given to people who would destroy the world. Or maybe it didn’t
matter anymore. What was I even fighting for? The moment I fell, someone would
start the war all over again. I couldn’t protect these people from themselves
forever. I didn’t want to.

It started raining as I stepped outside. It seemed
fitting.

With Kseve beside me, I followed the path until I
reached the edge of my inner city and stood in an open field. A small, round
stage made of glass was in the middle of the field. I could see Zeda on the
opposite end of the field. It was tradition that we were supposed to meet in
the middle at the same time, but this wasn’t a morning for tradition.

There was a general murmur of confusion as I left my
station and walked across the field to meet Zeda at hers. She was as beautiful
as ever in her white dress and silver shoes. Her sisters both backed away,
giving us space as I stopped beside her.

“This is not how it works,” she whispered, refusing
to look at me.

“Is it not? That is funny; I thought I was High King
and could change the rules. I guess I will go back to---” I stopped when she
reached out to grasp my hand. When I gently took my hand away, a tear ran down
her cheek.

“You refuse to touch me but you would have that woman
all over you?” Everyone looked at us from the loud voice she used. “You said
you had never been kissed before,” she whispered.

“I had not been. Vivian is human and has no magic.
What you saw was out of her control and mine.” At the sound of a whistle, we
both started walking slowly towards the stage. Traditional music was played.

“Was she under a spell?” Zeda asked hopefully.

I wouldn’t lie to her. “No. A spell would have been negated
by my void blood. She was under something, however. You may just be marrying me
for your father’s sake, but I will never have anyone else in my bed.”

“You can touch Vivian, though. Why would you be with
me instead when you cannot touch me?”

“Vivian is like vegetables,” Ada said from behind us.
“Just because everyone else likes her, that does not mean Nila does.”

“Your brilliant sister is correct,” I said, taking
Zeda’s hand in mine. “You are like my sweet bread. You may not be healthy, but
I would never eat anything without you.” We reached the steps to the platform.