The Worst Romance Novel Ever Written (21 page)

“
Or,” Marion said, “he might be seeing another cashier behind your back.”

“
I’m a manager, Mama, not a cashier, and Johnny isn’t the kind of man who would do that.”

“
I don’t know, with hands like that …”

“
Oh please.”

“
You know, in the right light, Johnny is halfway handsome.” Marion laughed.

“
What kind of light?”

“
The kind where there isn’t any. He looked decent till I turned on the porch light.”

I don’t want to hear this now.
“Look, I have a customer. Gotta go.”

“
Is he there?”

“
No. Goodbye, Mama.”

Gloria wished her mama wouldn’t meddle so much in her life, but her mama had always been that way. Marion had meddled with Gloria’s teachers: “Can’t you give the child more homework? She’s going to college, you know.” She had meddled with the few dates Gloria had in high school: “Can’t you take her to a school-sponsored dance or to a restaurant that has menus you actually have to hold? She’s a lady, you know.” She had meddled in Gloria’s choice of a job. “Couldn’t you get a job on
our
side of town? Your daughter needs you to be closer to her, you know.” Marion had even meddled a little with Angel. “Couldn’t you send Angel to a private school where she can get a better education? She’s going to run this country one day, you know.”

Another set of headlights flashed into the lot.

Johnny.

Gloria turned on pump number three, preset five dollars, and watched him putting the nozzle into—

He does have big hands. But why does he only put in five dollars’ worth at a time? Why doesn’t he just fill it up once a week?

Johnny entered the store smiling and looked Gloria straight in the face. “Hi.”

Gloria’s face felt hot.
I like this un-shy man.
She took the five ones and slid across a cherry Dum-Dum.

Johnny tore open the sucker and popped it into his mouth. “Yummy.”

Gloria put her mama’s money into the register.
She may never visit me at work, but at least her money has.
“Having a good night?”

“
Now I am.”

He says the nicest things!

“
A very nice old lady tipped me five bucks just a few deliveries ago.”

She isn’t so nice. Trust me.
“Um, Johnny, I’ve been wondering. Why don’t you just fill up your car?”

Johnny let the sucker slide to the corner of his mouth. “Well you see, darlin’, the gas gauge sometimes lies to me, and this way I know exactly how much gas I have in my tank.”

That almost made sense.
“But if you put in, say, ten gallons on Monday and you know how many miles per gallon your car gets …”

Johnny removed the sucker from his mouth and waved it in the air. “Then I’d only come by here once a week.”

Oh no!
“Your way is better.”

Johnny popped the sucker back into his mouth. “Thank ye kindly, darlin’.” He looked at the clock. “I’m here earlier than usual, huh?”

“
You must be busier than normal.”

“
Not really. Just driving more miles. Must have been that trip across town to visit Marion. That was the little old lady’s name. Over on Melrose. You familiar with that part of town?”

Just lived there all my life.
Gloria only nodded.

“
Pretty little house, neat as a pin inside. And you know what?”

Play dumb.
“What?”

“
Marion showed me a picture of her granddaughter. That was a first. I think I’m putting both of them in my book.”

And maybe into your life, too, and maybe sooner than I want it to happen.
“Um, why?”

“
Marion was a trip. Kind of lonely, but definitely feisty and funny. Oh, and the baby was gorgeous.”

Really? All babies look alike.
“A gorgeous baby?”

Johnny shrugged. “I can’t find the right words to describe her. Her name is Angel, and she’s just … angelic.”

Not at three in the morning when she’s sick and puking everywhere. Not when I take her to a bookstore and have to say “no” every two minutes. Not when I have to drag her physically to the bathroom for her bath when she’d rather be reading. Not when I have to make her brush her teeth again because her breath still smells like funk, and definitely not on the day that picture was taken when she pooted up a storm.

“
Gloria?”

Gloria focused on Johnny’s big hands. “Yes?”

“
You zoned out on me.”

“
Sorry. It’s been a … different kind of night.”

“
How so?” He raised his eyebrows.

I can’t tell you that.
“It’s just been … different, that’s all. You have anything for me to read?”

“
No. Sorry. I conked out as soon as I hit my bed. Did you get some sleep?”

“
Some.”

Johnny reached across the counter and took Gloria’s hands. “It’s been a good night for me, so if you’re free for breakfast, I’d like to take you.”

“
Um, well, how about if I take you out for breakfast this time? I’ll, um, I’ll even let you drive me.”
In your deathtrap.

“
Okay. Where will we go?”

We could go to the IHOP, but … I really need to get Mama back for her meddling, so …
“I know a place where the food is already on the table when you get there.”

“
A buffet?”

“
Something like that.”

“
Cool.” He squeezed her hands tightly. “I don’t want to go back to work, Gloria. Can you maybe mug me so I’ll have an excuse not to go?”

Gloria bit her lower lip. “Mug you?”

“
Yeah. Take all my possessions and make me beg for mercy. I promise to grovel, and I will do whatever you tell me to do, as long as it’s legal in the state of Virginia.”

There are so many things I want him to do, all of them illegal in the state of Virginia.
“Well …”

A car turned into the lot, two more close behind.

Shoot.
“Kiss me quick,” Gloria said.

Johnny leaned across the counter. “I don’t want to kiss you goodbye.”

Gloria kissed Johnny. “You have to. As long as you kiss me hello, it’ll cancel out.”

“
I like your math.” He kissed her and slowly let go of her hands. “See you soon.”

“
Wait,” Gloria said.

Johnny waited.

Gloria reached across the counter and plucked the stray hair from Johnny’s ear.

“
Hey, that was attached!” he cried.

“
Oops.” Gloria licked her lips. “I can kiss it later.”

Two customers burst through the doors gabbing loudly on cell phones.

Johnny leaned in and whispered, “I have lots of stray hairs on my body.” Johnny nodded and backed away from the counter. “See you.”

Gloria had to sit on her stool for the rest of her shift to keep her heart from racing out of control.

At 5:10, Gloria’s feet wouldn’t stop tapping the floor. She was about to get in a lime green Vega to go play
Guess Who’s Coming to Breakfast?
with her mama.

Such is the glamorous life of a Quick-E Mart manager.

20

“
I drove this way last night,” Johnny said, rolling through the light at Orange and Melrose.

How?
Gloria wondered.
How on earth did this broken muffler with wheels get you there?
She stared at what should have been her half of the dashboard. Only one vent held its position, the radio and the heater and fan switches dangling in the air. “Where’s the rest of your dashboard?”

“
Fell off,” Johnny said. “It’s in the trunk.”

“
Does the heater work? My feet are cold.”

Johnny fiddled with the heater switch, and warm air bathed Gloria’s feet. “That better?”

“
This thing doesn’t have AC, does it?”

“
I just open the windows. Oh. And a few holes underneath provide some ventilation. It’s got a tiny bit of rust.”

A tiny bit? If he hits any speed bumps, we’ll both fall through to the street.
“Park in front of, um, Marion’s house.”

Johnny parked, the Vega grumbling a full twenty seconds before shutting off with a clank. “That was a new sound. A higher pitch, key of C, I think.” He turned to Gloria. “You know Marion?”

Gloria nodded. “She’s my grandma.”

But there’s hardly a resemblance … but the little girl … gorgeous Angel is …
“Um, so Angel is …”

Gloria looked straight ahead through the windshield, a series of spider web cracks obscuring her view of the post office down the street. “Angel is my daughter. She’s five now. She’s in kindergarten, and she won’t be awake for another hour, so try to whisper.”

“
What about Angel’s father?”
Geez, Johnny, why not
think
it without saying it first to see how it affects you?
“Sorry. It was just … on my mind just then and it just … spilled out.”

Gloria’s heart thudded. “She’s never known her father. He, um, he left before she was born, and we haven’t seen him since.”

Johnny reached across and put the backs of his fingers on Gloria’s face. “He was a fool.”

Gloria’s eyes misted slightly. “Thank you.”

He took her hand. “But why didn’t you tell me about Angel before now?”

Gloria looked at his hand. “I didn’t want to scare you away. Most men—”

“
I’m not most men,” Johnny interrupted.

Gloria squeezed the life out of his hand to see if he was real. “I know you’re not, and I know I should have told you before today, but I was afraid. A lot of men would just … hit it and quit it, as they say, you know?”

I wouldn’t.
Johnny smiled. “Today is as good a day as any, I guess.” He dropped her hand and fiddled with the inside door handle. “Is the food on the table already? I’m hungry.” He popped the door handle, adding a little kick with his left leg, and the door groaned open.

Gloria pulled him back to her. “I have been worrying about this all night, and all you can say is, ‘I’m hungry’?”

“
But I am. Very. Hungry. Feed me, Gloria. Food. Breakfast. Grease. Cholesterol.”

Gloria smiled. “You don’t … care that I have a child?”

“
I do care, but I can’t meet her if I’m sitting out here in this car.” He sniffed the air. “What will we have? I hope we have pancakes.”

Gloria grabbed Johnny’s face and held his eyes in hers. “You really don’t have a problem with this?”

Johnny shot his hands up to Gloria’s cheeks. “No.” He smiled. “By the way, my last name is Holiday.”

Gloria smiled. “Holiday?”

“
Yeah. Life with me can be a real vacation, now let’s go inside and freak out your mama, er, grandmama. She doesn’t know I’m coming over, does she?”

Gloria shook her head, Johnny’s hands moving side to side as well.

“
Gloria, don’t take this the wrong way,” Johnny said, “but if any cops drove by right now, I’d be arrested for domestic violence. Either kiss me or let me go.”

Gloria kissed him and slid her hands down Johnny’s chest. “Let’s go freak out my mama.”

He lifted his hands from her face and carefully rested them on her shoulders. “Will, um, will I freak out your mama or will
we
freak out your mama?”