The Wrong Girl (18 page)

‘It is because of Nikkii?'

‘No,' she said, trying to sound believable.

‘Do you have a new job lined up?'

‘Well, no, not yet, but I kno—'

‘Is it because you didn't get the promotion?'

‘No!' Lily said defensively, giving herself away.

‘Because of me?'

‘Jack! Are you mental? No.' If only he knew that he was the one and only reason she was considering staying on.

‘So you're quitting for no reason, then, is that it?'

Lily was silent. She frowned. When he put it like that, it did seem a little lame. God, he was such a bully. She regretted bringing it up.

‘Look, I haven't made up my mind for sure yet. But to be honest, no, I don't want to work under Nikkii. I also don't love the new direction of the show, so there's that too. And Sasha and I had a good talk and she —'

‘She thinks the world of you, you know.'

Lily let that sink in for a second, luxuriating in the words.

‘I love Sasha too. She's the reason I wanted to work on
The Daily
in the first place; I wanted to learn from her. But then I got lumped with Eliza, who was sweet but grossly incompetent, and now
Nikkii
, I mean, I don't need to elaborate on that, surely. What could I possibly learn from her? I need to respect my series producer.'

‘So you think you're above Nikkii?' Jack was just shy of yelling in order to be heard over the rain.

‘Who are you? Dr Phil? What's with all the questions?' Lily started to get her back up. ‘Jack, with all due respect, I've been here two years longer than you. It starts to wear you down.'

‘I'm not saying it wouldn't. But I am interested to know the real reason you're leaving, because my concern is that it's not the right one.'

‘Gee, Dad, okay, well, what
is
a good reason then?'

‘The fact you're getting aggro means you're defensive about something. I'm just saying if you were completely at ease with your decision, you would have a clear conscience about it.'

Lily sighed.

‘I liked this car ride better when I was eating fries and magically selecting Police songs,' she muttered.

‘Look, obviously,
I
don't want you to leave. You're really talented, Lil. You've taught and helped me so much and, I mean, this whole food-truck idea, what a cracker. It'd be sad, disappointing even, for you to go just because you're annoyed at Nikkii.'

Lily was building up to such rage she forgot to properly hear all of the lovely things Jack was saying about her. Thankfully, the rain was starting to lessen, making the moment slightly less tense.

‘Alice has been let go, did you know that? She was my saviour.'

‘This is a
job
, Lil. Not school. You're here to do the best you can in your role, and I think you are doing that, will keep doing that, and will get even better, despite these changes. Survival of the fittest.'

Lily was suddenly feeling frustrated, claustrophobic and shitty. She didn't appreciate being lectured. What would he know, she thought bitterly.

‘But where is there for me to go? I'm stuck in my role, nothing will change, there's no moving up now. Do you see that?'

‘Do you even know what you want to do next? Have you got a clear idea?'

Lily felt embarrassment wash over her. She didn't. She just knew she wanted to be . . . higher up. With superiors she respected and some kind of goddamn professional challenge. Why was he being so
mean
?

‘It's easy for you to say all this. You come in, do your bit, smile and cook, everyone loves you. You can't go any higher than —'

‘You're kidding, right? You think morning TV is the pinnacle for me?' He laughed, but it wasn't unkind.

‘See? That's what I'm talking about, wanting to reach higher! I want to do amazing things and test myself, but as long as I'm doing your segment, no offence, it's not going to happen.'

‘I understand that part. I just want to make sure you've thought it through fully before I lose you.'

His words hung in the air. They were far too loaded and meaningful to simply fall to the ground with the corpses of all Lily's petulant but-but-buts.

He looked over at her briefly, an earnest expression on his face. She coiled up the headphones neatly, placed his iPod in the console and folded her arms.

‘Mum's taking me to Greece for my thirtieth in a couple of weeks. I was going to use the holiday to think about what's next.'

‘Is she! Oh man. You're gonna
love
it. What a great place to turn thirty.'

Lily much preferred excited-tour-guide Jack than stern-career-coach Jack.

‘I
will
think it through. Promise. Even though I know deep down the reason you don't want me to leave is because I'm the only one who will deal with your burnt pans.'

Jack smiled. ‘It's a bit more than that.'

Lily sat pondering his words, listening to the rain begin to pour down around them again. She loved the way he was quietly, protectively guiding the two of them home in the storm. It felt hyper real in that small, dingy cabin, just the two of them discussing her life and career. The reality of not seeing him every day suddenly struck her, hard. But feeling the way she was about him, particularly after the World's Best Day, and knowing how inappropriate and unfair to Simone that was, she realised with melancholy acceptance that it might just be for the best not to have him in her life any more.

‘I can so get you a job here. This music festival is fucking mega. It's like Big Day Out and Future Music Festival and Lollapalooza all donated sperm and had a big, grotesque baby. Hang on.'

Lily could hear the phone being muffled.

‘Is there a banana in here? DAMON.
No!
You
know
about the no-banana rule, why would you do that! Go outside. No, I'm not kidding. Do, yes, really, go,
go
!'

Alice was not overreacting. Lily had seen her vomit into a wastepaper basket once when Grimmo ate a banana on set.

‘You'll have to let him go, obviously.' Lily cradled the phone between her neck and ear as she rearranged the small colourful bowls on Jack's cooking bench. It had only been two weeks since Alice had been retrenched and she had already snagged another job, as producer on a huge, touring summer music festival.

‘I even made a sign with a banana and a big red cross over it. But do they care? Fucking creatures.'

‘It took us a few months to get used to your anti-banana regime, they'll learn.'

‘Damo's too cute and useful to release into the wild, sadly. You might even like him, he's got a bit of that layabout, vague muso vibe you love. Byron notwithstanding. Did you ever text him back by the way?'

‘No . . . Got side-tracked with the tour. What a bitch I am. God.' Lily poured some milk into a small jug and water in another.

‘What's happening with Jack? Did anything or anyone go down on your dump-truck voyage?'

Lily looked across the set, where Jack was chatting to Mel off to the side. The tour crew had all had Monday off to recover, but despite sleeping all day yesterday – in a blissfully empty house due to Simone being at work, presumably – Lily's fatigue had stuck with her into Tuesday. Jack was stirring the chilli oil he insisted on making fresh, even though the one Dale bought from the deli was totally fine. She lowered her voice and walked off set down past the edit room, hunching in the corner at the end of the hallway. Just to be sure.

‘There were some . . . 
moments
, but I'm reading far too much into it. And I've decided to stop all of it, out of respect to Simone. Can't be that girl. When he's not in my face every day, I won't be like this any more. He thinks I shouldn't leave, by the way. Says it's stupid.'

‘Doesn't want his cute producer to leave. What a surprise.'

Lily sighed, still perplexed by the decision she had to make. ‘I'm trying to be a good person here.'

‘You have a friendship with him, and you respect each other.
That's
something. I think we just let what he has with Simone right now fade out; and it will, because that relationship has as much soul as a thumbtack, and then when all that's over, you can reassess.'

‘Al, that's so
perfect
! Except for the bit where Simone has no reason to break up with him, and he's not into me like that; and even if they
do
split up, she hates me for being with her ex, whom she still cries for at night.'

‘She can't quarantine him! Fuck that.'

Grimmo walked towards Lily and tapped impatiently at his watch. Lily gave the thumbs up and began walking back to set.

‘Gotta go, can you email more about this festival thing?'

‘Yes, but I need to know if you're in by tomorrow. And you
should
be in. It's good cash, and you get to work with your precious.'

‘And I can start in a month, after Greece?'

‘Yesyesyes.'

‘Huh. Hey, how's Sven, by the way?'

‘Had to let him go, he never showered. Never. Not after sex, not after work; I couldn't risk the diseases.'

‘Cute. 'Kay bye now.' Lily hung up and got to work.

Lily picked at her cold noodles, wondering if she would miss having main meals for breakfast. She'd grown accustomed to eating fish, spices, lamb (always cold because they needed to take photos for the web rundown and recipe first) – before most people had even had their morning cuppa. She had to compile a report on the food-truck tour for Sasha, probably so she could justify the enormous cost of it – but most of it could be filed under the marketing budget, surely, Lily thought.

‘
There she is!'

Startled, Lily turned around in her chair to see Nikkii's face greet her. Lily had avoided her successfully since she had stolen her promotion, but the inevitable had arrived. Nikkii was wearing a patterned dress that flared out awkwardly at the waist, with cut-outs on the chest and shoulders, which was of course entirely appropriate for the workplace at 9.32 a.m. She seemed to have removed her hair extensions, Lily noted, which definitely looked better, but she still insisted on putting in those brittle, bridesmaidy curls.

In an act of next-level awkwardness, Nikkii seemed to be expecting a kiss or a hug, or something involving human contact, as she stood there for a few seconds, hands outstretched, black nail polish (so
edgy
) shining, luminous Hollywood teeth gleaming. Lily didn't stand or move, so Nikkii gave her a hug while she was still seated. Shocked, Lily seized up, making the hug even more wrong.

‘Hey, an official congrats on the new role, Nikkii.' Lily regrouped. ‘How's it all going?'

Missing the awkwardness with the same confidence that saw her ask Christina Aguilera in earnest how much happier she was when she was skinny, Nikkii put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side.

‘You know what? I literally never thought I would be boss, like, I'm just not cut out for that stuff, but then I realised that the
more
you do, the more big-picture stuff you're involved in, the more creative control you have and now I have proof! It feels
amazing
, Lily. So compleeetely different. I am
so
looking forward to making some big changes, and really exploring some big things . . . it's just
so
exciting.'

Jesus, Lily thought. She'd already mastered the art of meaningless middle-management bullshit. And just how many changes could possibly occur when Never Say No to a Junket Nikkii was constantly off doing press trips or interviews?

‘It sure is,' Lily said, with what she hoped was a convincing smile on her face.

‘So, on to food stuff . . . Jack's bits are fantastic, obviously, and the truck thingy was amazing. We had
great
numbers, Sasha said, but I really do think there are some other cooler things we could do with him, don't you agree?'

She looked at Lily with a conspiratorial look, but Lily wasn't in on this, and Nikkii could tell she didn't want to be.

Nikkii switched the weight onto her other hip and ran her hand smoothly not through, but
over
her curls. It was her textbook I'm ‘in front of the camera' move, designed to let you know she couldn't just mess her hair up, she was the
talent,
you know, she might be called to shoot something. On air. Where she often was. Being on TV.

‘I was thinking we need more glitz, more
sex
appeal  . . . What do you think about him having an assistant, like, oh, I don't know, some gorgeous young thing who helps him out and they chat and have fun and there's this kind of sexual chemistry going on, and you just have these two people having
fun
, which is SO what I'm all about right now. Just, like, real people
literally
having real fun.'

‘Real people who happen to be extraordinarily good-looking and on TV.' Lily couldn't help herself. She'd started tapping her pen into the palm of her left hand, and the pace and ferocity was increasing with every frustrating thing Nikkii said. She never thought she'd admit it, but Lily in this moment missed Eliza.

‘Ex
act
ly' Nikkii said, missing the sarcasm. ‘And also, we really need Jack to be more on social media. Can you try? He needs to be relatable, accessible, humanised. Literally even just Facebook would be amazing. Can you ask? You're his favourite, he'll totally listen to you.'

Lily savoured the idea of being his favourite for a moment before remembering it was
her
segment that was being massacred by the resident buzzword fountain.

‘Can I think about all this? I'm not sure if that kind of assistant is that . . . appropriate. And Mel and Rob, they have a great rapport with Jack, and it keeps the flow of the show to have the hosts pop into see what's cooking, it's always been that way . . .'

Nikkii looked at Lily very directly, a tiny, taut Botoxed frown forming on her forehead.

‘Oh, you don't know? Rob and Mel are moving on.'

Shock, sadness and rage smacked Lily in one powerful hit. What was
happening
around here?

‘
What?
Why, when?' Lily asked, gripping the pen tightly in her right hand, and gripping that hand with her left, mostly to stop herself from punching something. Maybe Nikkii.

‘Oh, um, this week, I think?'

‘Whose decision was it?' Lily asked, swishing her tail and baring her fangs.

‘The powers that be. Siobhan is sending out the press release tomorrow'

Perfect, thought Lily. The exact day I hand in
my
resignation.

‘Yeah, we're actually moving to THREE hosts, two guys and a girl, all young and gorgeous. I don't want to say too much, because we're still waiting for the contracts to be signed, but you will literally DIE when you find out who we got.'

Lily had had enough of Nikkii's vacuous, hyperbolic waffling.

‘Sorry, but I need to find Rob and Mel. I'll see you around.'

She stood up, threw Nikkii a tight, apologetic smile and pushed her chair in. She didn't give a fuck if Nikkii was her boss, she was ‘literally' an unfeeling, insincere, superficial bag of shit and Lily wasn't going to sit there a second longer and pander to her tacky, fluoro-teethed vision of the future.

‘I've sent you a meeting request for Monday morning to chat about Jack. So see you then.'

Nikkii's twinkly, confident tone indicated she knew she'd get that assistant. Lily could not STAND her. The new hosts, Lily guessed, would be about twelve, and about as engaging as the carpet she walked on. A perky young assistant for Jack? What was this, the '80s? Jack needed T&A on set now? No. No, no, no. Just everything, no. This was not an inspirational workplace, this was not the kind of show she wanted to work on, and that was not the kind of segment she'd be proud to produce.

Despite what Lily had felt after her talk in the car with Jack, that maybe it
was
childish of her to take her ball and go home because Nikkii was in charge and the show was changing tack, she now knew in her heart she had to go. Sorry, Jack.

As she sent the text to Alice
,
she felt a surge of panic and adrenalin and excitement shoot through her. She would be freelance!
Freelance
. She'd never wanted to be freelance. Freelance to Lily seemed like the career version of a shitty relationship, minimal commitment, constant uncertainty and marginal satisfaction.
If you were lucky
. It didn't feel right, but neither did this Frankendaily that was evolving before her eyes.

Greece had better provide some answers, she thought, the familiar scent of anxiety wafting in. Soon she would be thirty, jobless, single, have her mum for a best friend and still be living in a sharehouse. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, she told herself miserably.