The Youngest Bridesmaid (12 page)

“
Time enough in the morning,
”
Tibby replied.
“
You
’
ll be needing a good night
’
s sleep with that bad
head
and all.
”

“
Stubborn old bitch, aren
’
t you?
”
Piers observed with the unoffensive ease of long standing.
“
Well, take Mrs. Merrick
’
s cases into the other room, and bring mine in. here. Did you give the orders where she was to sleep?
”

“
I put you in your accustomed room, naturally, but if madam wishes to change—
”

But it appeared to Lou that Piers, too, had caught the scarcely veiled mockery behind that subservient
“
madam
”
, for his mood changed with alarming swiftness from tolerance to anger.

“
We
’
re not back in the nursery now, Tibby,
”
he said with all his old arrogance.
“
You will have to control your jealousy if you want to remain with us.
”

“
Jealous! Me?
”

“
Yes, you, and I won
’
t tolerate it. You
’
ve been the only woman here for too long, and you know it. You might have a more generous welcome for my wife than this.
”

“
The wife you should have married would never have lived here,
”
the old woman muttered bitterly.
“
Rune was quite safe from her sort. She
’
d know her right place in your life. Threw you over, Piers, didn
’
t she, like her mother served your father, and, you, for sheer spite, took the little cousin who most likely doesn
’
t know she
’
s born.
”

“
That
’
s enough!
”
Piers shouted, and at the same time Lou, distracted almost to tears, cried:
“
Oh, please stop, both of you. I don
’
t care where I sleep, if that
’
s what
’
s started all this. Miss Tibby, I
’
m sorry if you resent me, but please, please go away now.
”

The old woman
’
s shadow was gaunt and for bidding on the wall as she moved towards the door and her cold eyes flicked over Lou without sign of apology.

“
Very well,
”
was all she said, and she silently left the room.

“
Don
’
t try to soften Tibby by apologizing for yourself. She
’
ll only despise you,
”
Piers said, and at last Lou
’
s crumbling defences broke.

She stood with the tears pouring down her face and great tearing sobs choking the words she hurled at him. Wasn
’
t it enough, she cried, that she had married him to save his face and her cousin
’
s threatened disgrace? Hadn
’
t she deputized long enough for another woman, wearing her clothes, borrowing her identity, asking for little in exchange but kindness and consideration?

“
It
’
s all your fault!
”
she fin
i
shed.
“
The almighty Merrick arrogance that thinks money can buy anything
...
the disregard for any feelings but your own. Melissa
’
s well out of it
...
sheer spite, that old woman said
...
well, it isn
’
t very nice to be married for spite
...”

He had listened without interruption, his eyes changing from surprise to gravity as they watched her face. Once or twice his mouth tightened as if with pain, and once or twice he smiled with faint indulgence.

“
Well, now—
”
he said when she had finished,
“
—how you do surprise me, Cinderella. I wouldn
’
t have thought you had such venom in you.
”

“
Venom?
”

“
Well, perhaps that
’
s a little strong—such bottled-up resentment, shall we say? Do you really think I married you to spite Melissa?
”

“
I—I didn
’
t say that.
”

“
But
w
ho else could I spite, if that was my reason?
”

She was silent, and he took her hands, feeling how cold they were, and led her into the other room. When he had gently thrust her into a chair by the fire he fetched brandy from an old wine cooler which also appeared to hold the usual bathroom assortment of bottles and first-aid appliances, and while she sipped her drink, changed over the suitcases from one room to the other, and removed the clean pyjamas already laid out on the turned-down bed which Lou saw was a twin to the one next door.

“
Yes, the other one belongs in here,
”
he said, observing her look.
“
I only had it moved out because if you sleep alone a second empty bed is depressing, don
’
t you think? Shall I unpack for you?
”

It was such an uncharacteristic domestic suggestion that she smiled through her tears, but shook her head. He was, she knew, giving her time to recover composure by making casual, mundane observations as he moved between the two rooms, and she was touched by a forbearance she had not learnt to expect from him.

“
Tomorrow we
’
ll get properly organized,
”
he said, unlocking her cases for her.
“
Tibby must have misunderstood my instructions.
”
It was a kindly
prevarication, she thought, but one neither of them believed. Tibby had made it her business to ensure that Lou
’
s second night of marriage should be as abortive as the first.

“
Better?
”
Piers asked, taking the empty glass from her, and when she nodded, giving him rather a watery smile, came and sat on the arm of her chair.

“
Lou—
”
he began a little tentatively,
“
—I feel I should disabuse you of certain misconceptions.
”

“
Yes?
”
The moment suddenly held promise, and she rubbed her cheek against his sleeve like a little ingratiating cat.

“
I don
’
t want you to think that spite entered into my sudden change of plans. The spite was Tibby
’
s, and that, I
’
m afraid, is a problem you
’
ll have to sort out between you. Tibby would have taken more kindly to Melissa because she felt it was a settling of old scores. She was very attached to my father, and I suppose she had some muddled notion that the next generation could cancel out.
”

“
And hadn
’
t you that notion, Piers?
”
she asked, trying to reconcile all the puzzling facets of this affair into something she could understand.

“
Yes, I suppose I had. Melissa is very like Blanche at the same age, you know, and—a
small g boy
’
s first impressions of the perfect woman can be lasting.
”

“
Sublimation, or something?
”

“
I expect so. The trick-cyclist would have a name for it.
”

“
They would say it was unconscious transference of a mother complex,
”
Lou said, and giggled sleepily at the unlikely thought of Melissa providing maternal solace to any man she married.

“
Very likely,
”
he said s
om
ewhat sharply,
“
but I was not, I assure you, thinking in those terms when I got engaged to your cousin. I wanted to settle down, found a family to leave something worthwhile behind me. The old ties being such as they were, and Blanche ready and eager to bargain, my course seemed simple.
”

“
It
’
s not simple to me,
”
Lou said.
“
Why are you explaining all this? You loved Melissa, surely?
”

He moved a little impatiently.

“
Because, I suppose, my motives are still the same. I want to settle down, and you, my little Cinderella, are nobly filling the gap. Melissa is damned attractive and I admit to being more than narked at being let down at the last minute, but I thought I had made it clear that
you were not chosen at random—added to which, you didn
’
t have to agree to marry me in such a hurry, did you?
”

“
No,
”
she murmured, remembering how she had thought when she had
fi
rst heard him speak that his was a voice she could fall in love with. He had, she thought, evaded her question quite neatly.

“
I had imagined—or was I just being conceited when I finally persuaded you—that you had a s
mall
fondness
f
or me that had nothing to do with the Merrick wealth or reputation, or am I wrong?
”

“
No, you
’
re not wrong, dear Piers
,
”
she said, adding humbly.
“
I
’
m—I
’
m sorry for the terrible things I must have said to you. I
’
m sorry for making a scene.
”

She had thought she owed him that much, that by apologizing for feminine weakness she would assure him that such an annoyance would not occur again, but the warmth which possibly she had only imagined seemed suddenly withdrawn.

“
Never apologize,
”
he said rather brusquely,
“
to me or to
Tibby or to anyone who shakes your self
-
confidence. The world takes one at face value, you see, and it doesn
’
t do to be humble.
”

She felt reproved and puzzled at the same time. In her childhood humility had been considered a virtue and a conceit of one
’
s own opinions a failing not to be encouraged. How, she wondered, did one assess one
’
s own potentialities, and still remain oneself?

“
You don
’
t understand humility, do you?
”
she said tentatively, and he frowned.

“
I don
’
t like doormats,
”
he replied with more curtness than he probably intended, and was surprised by the sudden glint in her eye.

“
That,
”
she remarked,
“
was rather uncalled for, and you
’
ve said it before. I
’
m no doormat for any man.
”

He had already got to his feet as if regretting his carelessly offered comfort, and he looked down at her with a hint of apology, observing the ruffled fringe which lent such an immature air to her face, but observing too the natural dignity which was often to be found in the very young.

“
Yes, it was uncalled for,
”
he said gently.
“
I apologize.
”

“
You
’
ve just told me one should never apologize,
”
she countered, aware now only of a desire for sleep, and he flicked back the teasing fringe with an exploratory finger.

“
So I did. You
’
re about all in, aren
’
t you? I suggest you go straight to bed and leave unpacking till the morning.
”