TheBurnList (12 page)

And Eden Simmons was a mean one.

Lukas kept waiting for Abby’s parents to put the viper in
her place, but the time had never come.
Since they’d refused to stick up for
Abby, he’d been about to step in, but she’d managed it all on her own.

Except something had changed, and now she’d become remote,
and he didn’t know how to reach her.
Not knowing what to do, he reached over
and grabbed her hand.
Her fingers were icy despite the warm weather, and she
didn’t squeeze back the way she normally would have.

Unable to stand the silence any longer, he said, “You know,
your sister is jealous of you.”

“I doubt that.”
Her voice too soft.

“That’s because you can’t see it as an outsider would.”

“I know what outsiders see,” she said, still not looking
away from the window.

“You don’t though,” he insisted as the first threads of true
panic weaved a tight knot in his gut.

She turned away from the window and looked at him.
“Don’t
try and tell me she’s not beautiful.”

He pulled into his driveway and turned off the ignition,
shifting in the bucket seat to meet her eyes.
He wouldn’t insult her by lying,
even though every instinct told him the exact opposite.
“Yes, she is.
But
inside she’s ugly and broken.”

“I know.”

He picked up her cool hand and pressed his lips to her
fingertips.
“You, however, are the whole package.
Smart.
Beautiful.
And totally
irresistible.”

Those brown eyes didn’t thaw even the tiniest bit.
“I don’t
want to be compared to her anymore.”

“Abby, that’s what you don’t understand.
There is no
comparison.”

She pulled out of his grasp and turned back toward the
window.
“It’s you who doesn’t understand.”

Real fear, the kind he’d only known a few times before when
he’d been in particularly gruesome fires, rose in his throat.
“Why don’t you
explain it to me?”

“My whole life—my parents, friends, teachers, anyone who’s
ever met Eden—has offered me the same encouraging little speech.
She’s jealous
of you.
You have all these things she doesn’t have, you’re so bright and smart,
you have such a bright future.
On and on and on…” She blew out a hard breath.
“Don’t you understand?
All that poor Abby, hand-patting and bright-eyed
reassurances, all they do is reinforce the message that I’m somehow lacking.”

Shit.
Dread started a slow crawl up his spine as he realized
his mistake.
Honestly, he’d never thought of it like that.
How the message
would be perceived.

And the thing that really sucked, that pissed him off more
than anything, was he’d fallen victim.
When her sister walked into that
restaurant, looking as if she’d stepped out of the pages of a magazine, his
first desire was to turn to Abby and reassure her.
He hadn’t been a total
idiot, of course he’d ignored the instinct.
But it had been there, and she’d
tensed under his hands as though she’d read his mind.

Except something niggled at him.
Something skirted the edges
of his mind but wouldn’t take hold.

She turned back to him.
“I need to think.”

The last words he wanted to hear.
He contemplated not
letting her go, but thought better of it.
He nodded.
“Do you still want to go
to the club tonight?”

She tilted her head, assessing him.
“I don’t know.
Why don’t
you pick me up at eight and we’ll decide then.”

At the moment, he felt defeated.
Out of moves.
He’d give her
the time and space she needed, but then he’d fight for her.
“All right, but,
Abby, we will talk about this.”

She opened the car door, moving to get out before glancing
back at him over her shoulder.
“Yes, we will.”

Somehow he didn’t think that was a good sign.

Chapter Eleven

Abby had made her decision.

Sitting here in her new, skimpy electric-blue dress and
mile-high silver strappy sandals, waiting for Lukas to take her to the sex
club—one of the last items on her list—she was completely calm.
Resolute.

She’d been brave for six weeks and she’d be brave now.

She had no idea what the night would hold or how it would
end, but the time had come to take charge of her life.
Like the fateful night
she’d propositioned Lukas, she was going for it.

Although this time she didn’t have tequila to fuel her
bravado.

She straightened.
This time she’d face her future with a
clear head.

Right on time, the doorbell rang and Lukas opened up the
front door.
He’d stopped waiting for her to answer weeks ago.
His gorgeous head
cautiously peeked through the door like a turtle coming out its shell.
“Abby?”

“I’m in here,” she called, amazed at her steady nerves.
She’d been a wreck all afternoon, alternating between anger, fear and tears,
but as soon as she’d made her decision, an eerie calm had descended over her.

He walked into the living room, looking dark and dangerous
in all black.
Brown hair tousled, his hands tucked into pockets as he leaned
against the wall, gaze wary.
He gave her a long, slow once-over, and a muscle
in his jaw ticked.

“You look gorgeous.”
The words were matter-of-fact.

She tensed, the denial sat perched on her lips but she bit
it back, squaring her shoulders.
“Thank you.”

He glanced to the couch.
“Can I sit?”

“Of course,” she said, nodding.

He perched on the edge of the sofa as though ready to take
off in a sprint at any moment.
“Are you ready to talk about today?”

She nodded, her throat closing.
This was it.
Her heart
raced, breaking through the hazy peace that had enveloped her for the last
couple of hours.
“I can’t do this anymore.”

Disbelief, quickly followed by anger, filled his expression
before his eyes went flat.
“What can’t you do?”

“This.
Us.
It’s not enough.”
Nausea rolled through her
stomach and rose thick in her throat so that she wanted to choke on it.

He ran his hands through his hair and expelled a long, hard
breath.
“I promised myself I’d stay calm, but fuck, Abby.”
He jerked up from
the couch and started to pace.
Stalking around the room like a caged jungle
cat.
“I don’t understand.
I thought everything was going great between us, and
one crappy afternoon you’re ready to throw it all the away?”

“I’m sorry.”
She bit her lip in an attempt to squash her
threatening tears.
“Today forced me to realize I can’t be casual.
I need more.
I deserve more.
I can’t be second best all my life, Lukas.”

He stopped in his tracks and slowly looked at her, the ice
in his eyes chilling her to the bone.
“Don’t put that on me, babe, you do that
all on your own.”

She wanted him gone so she could curl up on the couch and
bawl until there was nothing left.
“I’m not saying I don’t have some things to
work through, but it doesn’t change the facts.”

He stormed over, grabbed her shoulders and hauled her off
the chair.
“You know what you’re problem is, you’re so caught in the facts
you’ve missed the big picture.”

His vehemence shocked her, kept her frozen in her spot
instead of pulling away as she should.
“I see everything clear.”

“Bull.
Shit.”
He shook her.
“I thought about this, and I was
going to be nice and gentle and take my time to prove it to you, but fuck that.
You need a good smack on the ass and don’t think you won’t be getting plenty of
those later.”

“Let me go.”
She couldn’t think when he was this close.
Couldn’t breathe.
Why couldn’t he bow out gracefully?
Once he thought about it,
he’d see this was for the best.

He released her and she teetered on her high heels before he
steadied her.
He took a step toward her and she stepped back.
“Yeah, you’d
better run, because when I catch you, I’m taking all this aggression out on
you.”

She gasped, retreated, but he kept coming.
He pointed at her
chest.
“You want to know why people pat you on the hand and feel sorry for you,
Abby?
Because that’s how you feel about yourself.
No one will ever stop feeling
sorry for you until you do.”

“I know, damn it,” she yelled.
“That’s why I’m doing this.
I
want it all, and I’m not going to settle for less.”

“And how the hell am I not giving you everything you want?”
He raked a hand through his hair.
“Fuck, Abby!
I’m going to a stupid sex club I
don’t want to go to because
you
want it.
I’m doing everything and
anything I can think of to keep you happy and satisfied and it’s not enough.”

The change of subject startled her and her next argument
scattered.
She frowned.
“You don’t want to go?”

“No I don’t want to go!
Jesus, you think I want to watch a
bunch of guys drool over you and try and arrange a threesome?
Do you think I
want someone to watch me fuck you and cheapen the whole experience?”

“Why didn’t you say something?”
She banged into the wall,
eyes wide.
He pressed his body against hers and she tried desperately not to
melt against his length.

“Because I wanted to make you happy.”
He tucked a lock of
hair behind her ear and his expression softened.
“Do you know I’ve stayed up
nights thinking about ways to convince you how fantastic you are?
How much I
want you?
How I can’t stop thinking about you?
How important you are to me?”

She blinked, licking her lips.
“You do?”

“Yes.”
He trailed a finger over her jaw.
“I love you, Abby.”

Had she heard him right?
This had to be a dream.
“Wh-what?”

“I’m in love with you, I have been for a while.”

“Oh.”
She couldn’t seem to formulate a coherent thought.

He pressed his forehead to hers.
“Tell me what I need to do
to convince you?
To make you believe me?”

This was ten times scarier than sending her list.
“I want a
commitment.
I’m not saying marriage, but a relationship.”

“That’s funny,” he said, brushing a soft kiss over her lips.
“I thought we were in a relationship.”

“You did?”

“Hell, Abby, I haven’t slept without you unless I was at
work, I spend every second I have with you, I walk into your house as though
it’s mine and I love you.
That sounds a lot like a relationship to me.”

Now why hadn’t she ever thought about it like that?
Happiness bloomed in her chest.
“I love you too.”
She’d never said the words
before.
They felt strange but right on her tongue.

He ran his hands up her bare arms.
“I want to marry you.”

“You do?”
This was more than she’d ever dared to dream for.

“You’ll be marrying my job too, though.
It’s not easy, ask
my mom when you meet her tomorrow.
Most couples don’t make it.
I’d wanted to
give you time to get use to me and give you a chance to decide you could handle
it, because once you agree to marry me, you no longer have a choice.
I’m not
letting you go.”
He smiled at her.
“This isn’t the way I envisioned things
going, but I’ve come to find you’re a woman who likes risk, and I want you to
know I’m in it for the long haul.”

“
You’ve
been waiting for
me
?”

He nodded again.
“I want to get you a ring and properly
propose, but in light of your worries, I think it’s more important for you to
know how serious I am.”

She gaped, stunned, unable to move or speak.
Lukas Marlow
wanted to marry her.
He loved her.

He ran his thumb over her lips.
“So do I get an answer?
Or
would you rather wait and take things slow?”

“Yes!
I’ll marry you.”
She threw herself into his arms
almost knocking him flat on his back before he managed to right himself.

He held her so tight she couldn’t get any air in her lungs,
but she didn’t protest.
He growled low in her ear, “I warned you not to scare
me like this again.
I’m sorry, but you’re not going to be able to sit down for
a week.”

She nodded against him, and he relaxed his death grip.

His mouth found hers and he kissed her long, slow and deep.
When he lifted his head, she had no doubts about his intentions.

He let her go and stepped away, assessing her carefully.
“I’m going to leave.
You go get naked and slip under your covers upstairs.”

Her body already buzzing with anticipation, she swatted him
on the arm.
“Why would you leave if I’m about to get naked?”

The wicked grin she loved, the one that told her he was up
to mischief and she was about to be a very satisfied woman, flashed across his
lips.
“Because I’m going to climb in your window so we can knock that last
fantasy off your list.
The capture fantasy.”

“Oh!”
Her heart began galloping in her chest.
She wouldn’t
have to settle for a boring guy after all.
Instead, she’d have Lukas and enough
excitement to last three lifetimes.

He grinned.
“I have a list of my own I want to work
through.”

She raised an eyebrow and gave him a seductive smile.
“Sounds promising.”

“It is.
Expect it in your email first thing Monday morning.”