These Sheltering Walls: A Cane River Romance (41 page)

            In
the seconds since she left his side, he saw how his whole life had changed.
Henry had drawn him out, coaxed him into making changes he didn’t see until
they were already in motion. There was something about her that made him want
to be more than a prisoner, an ex con, a murderer.  No, that wasn’t quite
right. He’d always wanted that. He just hadn’t believed it was possible.

            “Where
did she go?” An officer rushed up, pen in hand. “We’re headed to that old
house. I thought she was coming with us.”

            Gideon
shook his head, not knowing what to say.

            “I
think she’s tired. Does she have to go tonight?” Tom asked. He was standing
close to Gideon but he hadn’t noticed.

            “Huh.
Probably not. They just picked up LaRule and a few other guys he had with him.
Looks like they didn’t count on her being able to get outta that basement.” The
officer grinned.

            Gideon
surge of relief. “Thank God.”

            “Can
we come with you? If we don’t touch anything?” Tom asked. He nodded toward By
the Book. “I want to see how our clever friend got herself out.”

            Gideon
shot him a look. He didn’t want to see anything like that.

            “I
guess. We’re heading over. They might stop you at the door, but you’re welcome
to walk over with us.”

            As
soon as he was gone, Gideon turned to Tom. “What’s that about?”

            “Facing
your worst nightmare.”

            They
started down the alley. “I’ve never been afraid of basements.” Gideon was so
tired. He thought of turning around and heading home, but knew he wouldn’t
sleep tonight anyway.

            “Something
they do in therapy. A traumatic event happens and you return to the scene right
away, if you can. You walk around it, reclaim it. Make sure it has no power
over you.”

            The
truly traumatic event was that Henry had discovered his lie but there was no
way to erase its power.

            “Every
time she’s late, you’ll worry. Every time she comes home a few minutes after
she said she would, every time she doesn’t call by a certain time, you’ll think
back to this moment,” Tom said.

            Henry
wasn’t going to be calling him. She certainly wasn’t going to be coming home to
him.

            “Spend
as much time as you can near where she was held. Just let it soak in.” Tom
pointed out the house as they turned the corner. “You need to reclaim the spot
or every time you drive by this place, you’ll get anxious.”

            Gideon
was less worried about the big yellow house than By the Book. He would never be
able to walk by again without thinking of Henry and of the poetry section.

            A
few minutes later they were peering through the doorway. Officers set up large
floodlights with extension cords and although at first they made them stay
back, after a while, it seemed obvious that all there was to be found was
Henry’s other shoe. A crime scene photographer took pictures as the officers
talked to each other. It seemed so simple, so ordinary. Gideon started to
understand what Tom meant. This basement was like hundreds of others in the
city, but it could have been the scene of Henry’s murder.

            He
shivered. It wasn’t that cold in the basement but he felt chilled to the bone.
Looking around, he saw the pins Henry had pulled from the hinges and the marks
she’d made in the wood as she worked. He remembered the long streak of blood on
her arm and felt his stomach clench. She had worked hard to save herself. She
had wanted to live.

            “Take
your time. Or as long as they’ll give us,” Tom said. He stood close enough to
talk but not close enough that Gideon felt crowded.

            He
let out a slow breath and looked around. He could imagine the despair she must
have felt, the desperation. A long time ago he had felt those same emotions and
been utterly helpless to save anybody except himself. Gideon glanced at the
ceiling. It seemed closer than before. He focused on the far side of the room
and tried to stay calm. Henry had suffered in here but she’d triumphed, too.
She had kept her wits about her and―

            “Hey,
don’t touch anything,” an officer called out as Gideon walked toward the far
wall.

            “Gideon,
wait.” Tom was jogging beside him. He reached out, concern on his face. “Just
take a breath. It can really make you feel―” He noticed the writing and
stopped short.

            “What
is that?” The officer stared at the large, uneven letters and cocked his head.
“
Gidons inncent
? Is this English?”

            “
Gideon
is innocent. Rick killed Barney
.” Gideon read the words in a sort of daze. The
message was a crazy jumble of letters that sometimes covered one another, but
it had been dark and she must have been scratching the words with her keys.

            In
what Henry believed was the last moments of her life, she had been determined
to save his.

“History, Stephen said, is a
nightmare from which I am trying to awake.”

― James Joyce

            Henry
curled up on the sofa and held a book in her hands. She’d told everyone she was
tired and needed a nap. The truth was that she was completely worn out. She’d
spent hours down at the police station giving her statement. Patsy was on her
way, even though Henry had promised she was fine. Alice had brought over
breakfast that morning and given her a thorough look, apparently to make sure
she wasn’t falling to pieces. Then Kimberly had arrived and although Henry was
deeply thankful for the chance to hug her mother, it had turned into a visit
from her grandparents, too. And then Lisette had called. Henry had done her
best to assure everyone that she was fine but she was not. She was as far from
fine as she could imagine.

            Her
dreams had been fragments of her ordeal, interspersed with Gideon’s expression
as he confessed his lie. Henry had finally rolled out of bed, exhausted and
refusing to spend one more minute reliving it.

            But
in the quiet moments between all the interviews and fussing relatives and
Alice’s breakfast, Henry started to realize she had been wrong. Not wrong in
the way someone is when they park in towing zone, or even the kind of wrong
where a person adds salt instead of sugar to their coffee. She had been
horribly, terribly wrong. The kind of wrong Kimberly had been when she left her
with Lisette. The kind of wrong that shattered friendships and ended true love.

            Gideon
had kept something important from her, but Henry had only seen the lie, and not
the man who had always tried to protect those he loved.
She
understood what it meant to make a bad decision. She wasn’t perfect. Redemption
was an ugly, down-in-the-mud, every single day sort of thing. She wanted
nothing more than to accept his apology now. But not it was too late.

            She
sat in the corner of the couch, feeling small and completely lost. There wasn’t
any way to explain her actions, no way to make it better that she could see.

            A
knock at the door interrupted her thoughts and she considered not answering.
She sat very still, listening for the visitor to go back down the hallway.
Instead, there was another knock, and Gideon’s voice called through the door.

            “Henry,
can we talk?”

            She
was at the door so fast she didn’t even have time to put down her book.
Swinging it open, she was already laughing, crying, reaching out for him.

            “I…
well…” He didn’t seem to know what to say and she kissed him, hard.

            He
stopped trying to talk and wrapped his arms around her, backing her into the
room and closing the door with his foot.

            Henry
couldn’t believe he had come back to her. He hadn’t given up on her. She leaned
back, putting her hands on his cheeks, touching his hair, sliding one hand
toward his heart. “You still love me,” she said.

            “Of
course I do. Yes. Of course. Always.” He couldn’t seem to get enough of her, as
if she weren’t quite real.

            “I’m
sorry. For what I said. You don’t have to be perfect. I’m so far from it. I’m
just learning how to love someone. I promise I won’t hold you to some standard
that―”

            “Henry,”
he said. “I came here to say I was wrong. I lied because I was afraid to lose
you. I didn’t trust you enough to tell you the truth.” His words were thick
with emotion. “Please don’t give up on me.”

            Henry
started to cry but of all the tears in the last few days, these were tears of
joy. “Never.”

            “But
there’s something else.” He looked as if what he had to say next was going to
be harder than telling her about the tickets. “I’m not completely well, Henry.
I know have a lot of work to do. Things might get worse before they get better.
And if you want to just be friends while I try to sort things out, I’m okay
with that. I understand―”

            He
broke off whatever he was going to say as she kissed him, giving him her answer
with all the love she could show him. After a moment, she looked up into his
eyes. “That night in the Finnemore house, I made you some promises. I said I’d
always be myself with you, even if I didn’t like who I was. I don’t think I
understood what I was promising. Now I do. I’m quick to judge, Gideon. I jump
to conclusions. I never want to give someone a second chance.”

            He
shook his head just a bit, as if he disagreed. She put a finger to his lips.
“I’ll try to do better. Loving you is the best thing that ever happened to me
and if you can bear with me while I try to change, I’d be so grateful.”

            Gideon
bent his head and kissed her jaw, her temple, her ear. “And for a breath of
ecstasy, give all you have been, or could be.”

            Sara
Teasdale’s words skipped like stones across her heart, leaving ripples as they
went. For one chance at happiness, they were willing to give up everything,
including the people they had once been. She’d always thought real love meant
accepting someone else just as they were. Maybe true love meant letting go of
the person you had been, to become the person you were meant to be.  Henry
looked up into Gideon’s eyes and saw true forgiveness, and a future full of
possibilities she never could have imagined.

            Charlie
popped her head in the sacristy door, bright pink hair wrapped in a pretty updo.
Tiny daisies dotted the curls. “Father Marcel is asking your phone how far it
is to Aruba. Should we be worried?”

            Henry
smiled at her reflection in the small mirror. “No, not until they start
arguing.” Charlie shrugged and went away again, leaving just Henry and Patsy in
the room. “Remind me again why eloping wasn’t a good idea?”

            “Because
you’d cheat all of us out of the joy of a fancy party,” Patsy said. “It’s not
nice. We needed a fancy party. A low country boil, lots of crawfish, live
zydeco music. We need it to get us through the winter.” She looked up from
where she was fixing the last pin in Henry’s hair. “Plus, I would have hidden
in your trunk. You never would have gotten away with it.”

            “Kimberly
has plenty of big parties, almost every month,” Henry said.

            The
door opened a crack and Alice poked her head inside. Her pale green bridesmaid
dress matched Patsy’s except it had an empire waist, perfect for Alice’s
pregnant belly.

            “Almost
ready? We’ve got five minutes, which means I better run to the bathroom.” And
without waiting for a response, she popped back out.

            “I
wish Alice would take a break. She’s been standing all morning,” Henry said.
“Paul keeps trying to shove her into a chair but she zips away.”

            Patsy
nodded. “Wait until she gets that last little burst of energy before the baby
arrives. Nesting is a scary business. I spent two full days just scrubbing down
my kitchen before Jack was born. You know me. That was really out of character.”

            Henry
stood up, carefully moving the swaths of cream silk to the side. “I never
wanted a big wedding,” she said almost to herself. “I never imagined this. Or
any wedding, really.”

            “Big
wedding. Listen to you,” Patsy said, laughing. “Fifty people in a tiny country
church and a reception in the backyard isn’t big.”

            “True.
Compared to what Kimberly really wanted, this is closer to that elopement.” She
took one more look in the mirror, at the gentle draping over the bodice, the
little cap sleeves. Turning, she glanced behind her at the long row of tiny
pearl buttons and glimmering silk. She never could have imagined this, not in a
hundred years. But here she was, Henry Byrne, getting married as if it were the
most natural step.

            “Hey,
don’t cry now. You’ll ruin your make up,” Patsy jumped forward with a tissue.
“Take a deep breath. Everybody gets nerves on their big day.”

            “I’m
just… so… happy.” Henry’s voice came out in a squeak.

            “Well,
be happy without any tears, okay?” Patsy dabbed at the corners of her eyes.
“You look gorgeous. Almost as nice as the groom.”

            Henry
stopped crying long enough to choke out a laugh. Patsy had been telling her for
months that Gideon was too good-looking for a tuxedo and if they didn’t want
him to overshadow the rest of the wedding party, Henry would have to make him
dress down.

            Alice
opened the door on the other side of the room. “Time to go, ladies! The crowd
is getting restless and by the crowd, you know I mean that crowd we have in the
front. So, let’s head around the back and come up the front steps. I’ll give
Mrs. Bernard a wave and she’ll start the wedding march.” 

             “Thank
you for all your help.” Giving Alice a quick hug, Henry squeezed through the
doorway. “With your tummy and my dress, we might just be stuck here forever.”

            “Well,
my tummy is on a deadline so, probably not forever.” Alice squeezed her back.

            The
sunlight was bright for a December day but the air was crisp and cool. The path
around Isle Brevelle seemed to go on forever, but within seconds she was
standing at the top of the steps.

            “Ready,
Henry?” Without the old straw hat or navy raincoat, Bix almost looked like a
different man. Her offered his arm and Henry took it, feeling her throat close
up with emotion. Kimberly had thought Frank Pascal should walk her down the
aisle, and her
mamere
had been upset that Henry had chosen some “old
nobody”, but Henry would not be dissuaded. Bix had helped bring Henry and
Gideon together in his own crazy way, and she would forever be grateful to him.

            “My
two favorite historians gettin’ married,” he said. “I just wish I hadn’t sold
my Caddy. You two woulda looked mighty fine drivin’ away in it.”

            “I
agree,” Henry said, imagining the spectacle of a wedding party trundling
through town in a bright green Cadillac, probably with cans on long streamers
rattling behind.

            The
music changed to the somber tones of the march and Henry took a deep breath.
She would have been perfectly happy with a private ceremony, just her and
Gideon. And Patsy and Denny as witnesses, of course. And Father Tom
officiating. But there had been a small problem with that plan.

            As
she walked up the aisle, she couldn’t take her eyes from Gideon, standing so
tall and handsome at the front of the room. He smiled at her and then rolled
his eyes a little to the right. She followed his cue and saw Kimberly weeping,
but still as beautiful as ever. Henry started to smile, remembering how they’d
joked that Henry was a messy crier.

            But
even with that warning, she still felt her eyes burn as she saw Gideon’s
parents beaming with love and pride in the front row. Bernice sat behind them,
and Blue next to her. Familiar faces turned in her direction and she could
hardly see them all through the blur of tears.

            Father
Tom stood at the front, Father Marcel on one side looking faintly irritated.
Father Toussaint stood on the other, tall and straight. And next to him was
Father Luke, Father Pierre, Father Gabriel, and Father Andre. Father Sal was in
the front row, his head bowed in what may have been prayer but was probably an
early nap.

            As
Bix took her hand and placed it in Gideon’s, he whispered, “And don’t forget
you can always ask advice from Ruby and me. We’re old hands at this. We’ve been
through it all. Why, just yesterday, we―”

            “Thank
you,” Henry said and gave him a big hug. “For everything.”

            He
made his way to the pew, wiping his eyes. Ruby patted his arm and readjusted
her hat.

            As
they turned toward the altar, Gideon leaned over and whispered, “Ready?”

            “Ready,”
Henry answered and realized she meant it.

            As
Father Tom asked the congregation to stand, Henry found the lines of a poem
running through her mind. Gideon had read it to her once as they stood in the
aisle of By the Book.
But what to me are north and south...

            Henry
turned to Gideon and smiled. They weren’t wanderers anymore. They had found a home,
and it had been in the most unlikely place: each other.