These Starcrossed Lives of Ours (13 page)

“No, no, don’t be. All my friends, married or not, aren’t virgins anymore so I’m used to it. I’ve been the odd man out for the past six years now. I’m always getting crap for it.” He smiled grimly. “Did you ever love any of them?”

I looked out the window. “Only one.”

“Was he your first?”

She.
The quiet was enough to nearly break me. “Yes.”

Ian made his next turn softly. “I understand. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It was a stupid mistake.” I smiled at him.

He smiled back, although I could tell it was forced. “Yeah.”

We pulled into the farm. As we got out of the car Ian’s whole form slumped, as if weights were dragging him into the ground as he led me over to a round pen near the house. “Ian...” I started, unsure of what to say.

He shook his head. “Don’t mind me, Christie. I was just hoping that...well...that I would find somebody else like me. The older I get the harder and harder it is to find somebody who isn’t in a relationship, or married. Finding another virgin is impossible. I’m a rare breed. I feel like I have to go through this alone.”

I put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not alone. I may not be like you, but I am with you and I care about you. I’ve made a lot of horrible decisions,” I swallowed. “But I’m not that person anymore. It’s all in the past.”

Although his sadness wasn’t gone he seemed a little less sullen. “I believe you. Now close your eyes. I want to surprise you with something.”

I did so, groaning. “Ian, I
told
you not to get me anything!”

I had mentioned that my twentieth birthday was today a few weeks ago, and for the life of me Ian wouldn’t forget it. I wanted to treat it like it was just any other day but Ian, being Ian,
had
to do something special. The guy was so damn nice it would kill him someday, I was sure of it.

He sure was taking a long time. Any longer and I was sure I’d turn to stone. I was bristling with both anticipation and a little fright. Whatever Ian gave me, I would like it, no matter what.

“Ta-da!” Ian exclaimed, and I opened my eyes. “Happy Birthday,” he said, stepping away to reveal Miracle inside the round pen with a large pink bow tied around her neck.

Tears popped into my eyes and I moved forward, my lips trembling. “Ian, no...” I whispered, my hands shaking as I reached over the fence to stroke the mare’s mane. “This is too much.”

“You’re going to be the one doing most of the training on her, so it only made sense to give her to you,” Ian said. “Besides, she hates the rest of us. She only came to me because she heard your voice.”

“Ian, I can’t accept this,” I hushed.

“Nonsense. You’re worth every penny,” he said.

Words would only cheapen the moment. I continued to stroke Miracle and she nickered softly in content.

Ian

Standing here, watching Christie stroke Miracle, I couldn’t believe how stupid I was. I had to be the only twenty-four year old virgin left in Washtenaw County, no, the only twenty-four year old virgin left in
Michigan,
and I’d told Christie about it. How embarrassing. There definitely went my cool-guy image, if I even had one at all with her.

Sex had been pleasant to think about until Tessica. On our high school graduation night we had gotten all her clothes off before I had projectile vomited all over her. Most humiliating moment of my life, and she was bound to never let me forget it, nor anyone else. Every woman in the surrounding area had heard how I’d thrown up on Tessica Will-Grace just before we were about to have sex, and nobody wanted to line up to be next on the Barf-Machine.

Not that they needed to. Even in college, with all the women that had tried to get with me, I had never been able to get Tessica, covered in vomit, out of my head. I wasn’t sure if I’d been nervous or if I’d drank too much...probably both...but for some reason it had been repulsive for me to sleep with her.

It was funny now, but not at the time. I wanted to go back in time and punch myself in the face for even thinking of sleeping with Tess. She was a virtual monster in a spray tan and a manicure. Sure, she was hot, but from what I’d heard the guys say that had been with her, the sex wasn’t worth dealing with the drama after.

I could only imagine. I’d never even touched her and she acted like she still had me on a leash. How she’d treated Christie today was completely uncalled for. I should’ve listened to Kara and warned her. But I’d underestimated the lengths Tessica would go to in order to try and get me back.

I watched Christie and idly wondered what sex with her would be like. For the first time Tessica didn’t spring into my mind, but an image of Christine, naked in my bed, her arms reaching towards me...

This had gone too far. I needed to stop my foolish fantasies right now. Before they got out of hand.

“Is something wrong?” Christie said. “You look hot.”

I headed towards the barn door. “I need some fresh air,” I told her. I practically sprinted outside, gasping for air. I bent over, my hands on my knees. This was physically
painful.
Keeping myself away from her like this. It felt like my heart was going to explode.

I straightened up, heading towards the house. It wasn’t a coincidence that Christie was the first woman I had entertained the idea of being with in over five years. I had to tell her how I felt, and soon. I couldn’t keep up the charade much longer.

Christie came out of the barn and looked at me. “You wanna go for a walk?”

I swallowed, nodding. “Sure. The sun will do me good.”

As we started down a small dirt path, into the woods and away from my house, Christine wouldn’t stop staring at me. “Are you sure you’re fine? Have you been working too hard lately?”

“I’m okay, Christie. I assure you that if I faint on this walk that you won’t have to carry me back,” I chuckled lightly.

“Well that’s good, because I don’t think I could,” she said with a laugh. We came to the top of a large hill and both stopped when we looked down. It was an old farmhouse, one that had been abandoned long ago.

“Oh wow,” Christie hushed. “Come on! I’ll race you to it!”

She took off at a run down the hill and I followed her, laughing. She was almost as fast me, but not quite. I slowed down just enough for her to catch up and we jogged side by side through the tilled fields and to the farmhouse. We halted just before the sagging building, gazing in wonder. The black tiles were sliding off the roof and the steps leading up to the porch had holes in them.

“It’s beautiful,” she hushed, and I squinted my eyes to try and see what she did. Grabbing my hand, she started pulling on me. “Come on! Let’s go inside!”

“What? I don’t know if it’s safe,” I said.

“Of course it’s safe,” Christie scoffed. “Don’t be a chicken!”

“Trespassing, why not?” I sighed. “I swear, if the house falls on us when we’re in there I’m using you as a shovel to dig us out.”

I let her pull me inside, careful where I put my feet. When she opened the door a great wave of dust and mildew hit me, and I started coughing. Wood floors matched the old fashioned wallpaper, and a few discarded paintings and broken pieces of furniture lay abandoned around the empty space.

“Wow, it’s
so old,”
Christie said. “This place had to have been built in the twenties.”

“It definitely hasn’t been updated since.” I kicked a discarded chair leg across the room. 

“It has an upstairs!” she said, pointing. She started running up before I could stop her.

“Christine, we don’t know how stable this place is! Be careful!” Just as I said that my foot broke through one of the stairs and I struggled to pull myself up. Ugh. This girl was going to kill me one of these days.

“Found the bathroom,” she said when I crawled into the hallway. She looked out a dirty window and said, “It’s in better condition than I thought.”

“I guess it’s not too bad,” I said fairly. “But it needs a lot of work. A
lot
of work.”

“It’d be a fun project,” she said, heading back down the stairs. “I wish that I had the money to renovate it. It’d be perfect.”

I had the money to buy it, and fix it up too. But what was the point, if we weren’t together? Taking her hand, I said, “Come on. Let’s go back to my parent’s place.”

We hit the dirt trail again, and I noticed her walking gingerly on the rocks. “Feet hurt?”

“Just a bit. I’ve had a couple of rough shifts at the school lately,” she told me. Those sandals she was wearing wasn’t doing her any favors when it came to walking on the jagged rocks. “Here,” I said, and I bent down. She hesitated, then jumped on my back. I carried her all the way back, not letting her down until we reached the truck. By this time, it was starting to get dark.

We headed home. With Tessica and everything else, it had been a long day. When we got home Christie popped in a movie and we sat on the couch together, not touching but sitting close. When the movie was done, Christie switched off the TV and turned towards me. “You should probably go to bed. You have to get up early.”

“I’ll leave in a minute,” I said, yawning. “I don’t want to go yet.”

She nodded. “Alright. It’s my day off tomorrow anyway. I was just going to watch another movie.” She turned the TV back on and sat next to me, and my eyelids slowly began to droop as the day ended with her by my side.

Chapter Nine

Christine

Early the next morning, birdsong could be heard through my window. Dawn light trickled in past the blinds and created a halo upon the face of the one who had saved me. At first I believed I was dreaming. But then I realized that I was awake, that it was very much the next day and that
Ian was still here.

Shit. He fell asleep on the couch next to me, and was holding me in his arms.
Shit!

I got up as quietly as I possibly could, and then shook him awake. “Ian,” I said, shaking him gently. “Ian, get up. You fell asleep.”

He roused slowly, his eyelids drooping. He looked around the living room in confusion, then at me, before rubbing his eyes. “Christine. Did you fall asleep here with me?”

“No, uh...” I said slowly. “You fell asleep here, and I went into your room.”

“Oh,” he said. I didn’t like the disappointment in his voice when he said it.

“You have work,” I said. “You have to get going. Come on.”

He moaned and then rolled over to face the wall. I gave him an effective kick, which he ignored. I threw my arms up and said, “Whatever. I’m getting dressed.”

He rolled back over to look at me, the blanket covering up half his face, his expression mischievous. I hated how damn cute he looked. It was really, really bothering me.

“Get up!” I shouted, grabbing a pillow and whopping him in the face. “You’re going to be late!”

Ian finally rolls off the couch, looking around lazily. “I can’t be late. Where are my pants?”

“Why is that always the question?”I said, rolling my eyes. Ian lost his pants at least once a week, and for some reason I was the only one who could ever find them. I found a pair of work pants and practically threw them into his arms. “Go, now!”

He ran into the bathroom and came out flustered-looking as hell. I shoved a piece of toast into his hand and said, “What would you do without me? Really?”

He smiled. “Thanks Christine. I really appreciate...”

“Enough with the thank yous! Go!” I shoved him out the door with his car keys and effectively locked the door. As I heard him go down the steps I sighed in relief. That was too close. Ian almost caught us together. And even though it was together on accident, I knew the way he looked at me. I had caught him gazing at me for far too long the other day when I was with Miracle...

I slid down against the wall, my head in my hands. The school year would be ending soon, and Ian would have a lot more time off once it did. Time off that would be spent here, together with me, and if I was still here I didn’t even want to know the result of that. It would be cruel and heartless to keep leading him on.

Was I leading him on? I wasn’t sure. I had done everything in my power to assure him we weren’t meant to be.

I shook my head. Nobody and nothing was strong enough to outlast me. I had to figure out a way to break his heart without my own getting involved.

But what if it already was?

The first day of May was ridiculously hot. It was nearing ninety, the Michigan weather practically choking the life out of all of us. I didn’t want to do anything but lay around on the couch but Ian, being the active little shit that he is, had other plans.

“It’s like a reunion. You know, get together with all the kids I went to church and high school with back in the dinosaur age,” he explained, buzzing around his apartment to grab swim trunks, shoving them in a black backpack carelessly.

“Why would I want to go swimming in some random person’s lake? I’m a city girl, I don’t do redneck yacht clubs,” I moaned, throwing a pillow over my face and trying to block out the sun’s rays through the window.

“Because it’ll be
fun.
Trust me. I’ll make a country girl out of you yet,” he smiled.

“For your information, farmer boy, I don’t even have a swimsuit.”

“Kara told me which one to buy you,” Ian said. He pulled out of a shopping bag a two piece bikini. “She said you can’t be bigger than a size medium.”

Kara had good taste, but I was going to strangle her later for helping Ian drag me into this. “I don’t like going to parties, Ian. I’m not good in groups.”

“It’s only ten or so people. I promise if you get uncomfortable we’ll leave. On our friendship,” he said, raising a hand in a mock vow.

“Will Tessica be there?” I asked, thinking that if I ever saw the bitch again I’d probably claw her eyes out.

“She’s not invited. Don’t worry. Only cool people, and by that I mean people who like you, are allowed to come.”

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you? So I could meet your friends,” I said, glaring at him.

A guilty smile passes over his face. “Maybe.”

“Dammit Ian! Fine. I’ll go, but only for a little while.”

The drive was far too short. As we approached the lake a sick feeling entered my stomach. How did Ian always seem to rope me into things like this?
Because I can never say no to him,
I sighed, looking out the window.

As I scanned over the scene, my heart dropped. Maybe pigs really did fly, because Ian actually told a lie. There were way more than ten people here, maybe even over twenty. Five were on the lake with canoes, seven were on the pontoon, and maybe eight or so gathered together on the beach, not counting the people who were still inside the house. I tried to take a deep breath and stay calm as Ian parked on the side of the road, but all my deep breathing did was turn into hyperventilating.

“Hey hey,” Ian said as he turned the truck off, reaching over and grabbing my hand. “Take it easy. I said if you didn’t want to do this we don’t have to. I’ll turn the truck around right now and we’ll go home.”

I looked into his deep blue eyes and swallowed. I knew he would go home, just for me. But I couldn’t do that to him. He’d act like he was fine, but I knew he’d be disappointed. “It’s fine,” I said, choking out an answer. “We’re already here. We should at least stay for a bit.”

“Are you sure?” His eyes were flooded with concern.

“Of course. It’s only Manchester people, right? Not like they’re some sort of cult.” I laughed at my own poor joke.

“You’d think so at times, the way everybody is so cliquey around here. Hopefully there’s no drama today.” Ian got out of the car and went around the front of the truck to help me out. My legs shook.

“Here.” Ian grabbed my hand again. “We’ll go together.” His hand grasped mine firmly as he pulled me towards a group of people smiling and pushing each other around. I plastered a grin on my face and kept it there.

“So the moron tried to pull a radio out of his car with a clothes hanger,” a guy finishes, shaking his head. “It took him and about six other idiots to finally get it out. I’m telling you, the intelligence around here is astounding.”

“What do you expect. This town made it onto Real TV’s
World’s Dumbest,”
another guy added, taking a sip of his beer. His eyes wander over to us and he lights up. “Ian! It’s about time!”

“You know I’m always late,” he said, reaching out to shake with his other hand. The boys all looked at me and Ian’s interlocked hands, and the guy that shook Ian’s hand laughed. “Oh look guys, Ian’s got a new babe. What one are you on now, number twenty four?”

“She’s just my friend Ron,” Ian said, and he squeezed my hand tighter.

“Just a friend. Yeah right, buddy,” Ron muttered playfully before he nudged me. “Ian used to be a total player. Don’t let the charm fool you.”

“Ignore him,” Ian said, his cheeks turning red.

“I’m just giving the girl a warning, she deserves it before you go on breaking her heart.” When Ron said this, everyone behind him laughed.

“Shut up Ron.” Ian’s other hand balled up into a tight fist, but this only made Ron smile wider. He pushed one of the other guys and asked, “Hey, who wants to start the betting pool this time? I’m guessing it’ll last another month, twenty dollars. Anyone want to up?”

“Well at least Ian’s attractive enough to get a bunch of women,” I said loudly, trying to break up the fight. “I’ve noticed there’s nobody hanging on your arm.” I let go of Ian’s hand and put my own on my hip.

“Woah there, easy,” Ron said, holding his hands up. “We’re just teasing you, not trying to piss you off or nothing. I’m Ron, your name is?” He extended a hand.

“Christine,” I said, shaking it. “And I can be just as cocky as you are.”

“I’ve noticed.” He dropped my hand and turned to Ian. “I like her. She’s tough. Maybe you should actually stick with this one.”

“So long as he doesn’t go back to Tessica, I don’t care if he dates a walrus. Anything’s better than her,” another guy said, and everyone groaned. At the mention of Tessica, my face instantly turned red.

“Hey guys, we’re here to have a good time, not talk about the past,” Ian said.

“I know what’ll make you have a good time,” Ron said. “How about a race, Ian? You can drive the Eagle Talon, and I’ll take the Mustang. We’ll go down the backroads.”

Ian’s face instantly lit up and I looked at him. “A race?” I said. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

He only smiled bigger. “You’re about to find out.”

As he took off towards his car, Kara rolled her eyes beside me. “Oh great. Here we go, the great Ron and Ian rivalry once again.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Ron was the one Tessica cheated on Ian with,” Kara explained. “Didn’t you know that?”

I shook my head. No, I didn’t. But now that I did, I sure hoped Ian would win the race.