Theta (15 page)

“
No one’s safe here
anymore,” I replied quietly. “Not while Cleon is in my head and
able to see and hear what I do. I endanger everyone around me. You
have to plot to take him out without me knowing. Take her and keep
her safe.”

Leandra accepted the purring teddy bear,
regret on her features. As I watched, the nymph fashioned a pouch
out of a pashmina and secured Mrs. Nettles to her back.

I waved to my stuffed animal, and she waved
back.

Leandra went to the balcony rather than the
door and walked out onto it. She slung a leg over the railing and
dropped down into the gardens. Trailing, I leaned over the balcony
to watch her then recalled how Cleon could see what I did.

I turned away in anger. If I watched her run
to safety, Cleon would know where to find her. Ignorance was the
only way to protect others for me, even if it meant I lived in a
state of constant uncertainty and fear of the conditions and lives
of those I cared about.

“
It’s not fair,” I muttered
and leaned my head back to observe the night sky.

Banging came from the front of the villa.
Cleon had dispatched his men faster than I expected. I only ever
worried when Niko was leading the charge. Since those coming for
Leandra were knocking, I assessed Niko was not among them.

I sneaked a glance towards Leandra, who was
making her way through the gardens, then closed the doors to my
balcony and retreated into the sitting area of my bedroom and
waited, tense, for them to barge into my bedroom. The fatigue I
experienced after playing with my power in the Oracle’s chamber
lingered, and I snacked on the candy and baked goods Leandra always
kept stocked in our room.

A few minutes later, the door opened, and
four of Cleon’s elite military soldiers spilled in, weapons drawn.
They didn’t lower their guns until they were certain I was no
threat. No one spoke to me as they searched my room hastily. They
tossed clothing onto the floor then upset my bed and yanked all the
drawers out of my dressers, as if Leandra were small enough to fit
inside.

While irritated, I said nothing, not wanting
to draw their attention when Leandra needed as much time to escape
as possible. At long last, the men ceased tearing my room apart and
exited, unconcerned with the mess they left in their wake.

When they were gone, I rose. Every bone in
my body wanted to check the gardens again to ensure Leandra had
made it out without being caught, but I forced myself to remain
where I was.

Cleon was … satisfied. The emotion was
unusually strong, enough so, I had to pause to consider whose
emotion it really was. I picked up clothing from the floor of the
closet, waiting for Niko or someone to fetch me so I could be
interrogated about Leandra.

No one came, and I listlessly straightened
the closet before returning to stand in the middle of my room.

Without Leandra and Mrs. Nettles, it was too
quiet. The comfortable room no longer felt welcoming, especially
now that I had no buffer between the memorial sprawling across one
wall and my thoughts. I crossed my arms, a little lost and a whole
lot angry that I had been forced to send away everyone I cared
about because of the chip in my brain. My power was not only
isolating me, it was becoming a source for Cleon to commit evil.
Would it have been better for everyone if I were on the wall next
to Cecelia?

I shifted my focus to straightening up my
room enough for me to sleep. The mattresses on the bed were askew,
so I straightened them, welcoming the distraction physical activity
provided. My thoughts went to the other places, the one-off
realities, and how I was going to bring myself back when I didn’t
know how.

Who was the woman in white? Would she help
me? Were there more people in the strange world I hadn’t noticed
during my first two forays into it? Could I communicate with the
people in my world from there? Or was a nymph the only one who
could contact me?

Another thought, far less pleasant, hovered
in my mind. When I was in the state that allowed me to cross into a
different dimension, my unconscious body remained defenseless.
Recalling Cleon standing over me gave me the chills, and I didn’t
know why. While I was under, so was he. It was one of the few times
I was truly safe from him.

With a grunt, I gave the mattress a final
hip check to push it into place and stepped back. Sweating from
effort, I was tempted to return to the other dimension and find the
woman in white but also afraid of not being able to return.

Turning off the lights, I sat in bed and
gazed at the names on the wall opposite me. Some were visible in
the pale moonlight originating from the windows on the east side of
my bedroom.

It was just us now, the names and me. I owed
it to each of the dead to try to use my powers and feared doing the
same would place more lives in danger, if not through my direct
actions, then because of Cleon’s ability to wield my power to harm
others.

I had to do something. I was sick of
inaction and fear. Without Leandra and Mrs. Nettles, I didn’t have
to worry about anyone near me being hurt, since everyone who
mattered to me was gone.

If I got stuck in some other dimension, and
Cleon was, too, what did I have to lose? I was probably doing my
world a favor by taking him off the streets.

My mind made up, I settled onto my back and
drew deep breaths until I was immersed in the meditative state
where I could slip out of my body once again and try to find the
woman in white.

“
You stood me up
again.”

My heart jolted at the unexpected voice. My
eyelids flew open, and I sat up.

Lantos was in my room, part shadow, and part
man, standing in the corner.

“
You need to leave,” I said
quickly and leapt off the bed.

“
Not until we
talk.”

Crossing the room, I pressed both hands to
his chest and pushed him back into the shadows. “Now, Lantos!” I
said when he didn’t turn into a shadow.

He gripped my wrists and twisted them away
without hurting me. I glared up at him. There was a time, when we
first met, when I’d found Adonis’ best friend to be attractive.
That was before I realized who he was and what he planned. But
standing in the shadows of my room, with his solid frame so close
to mine, I recalled who else I missed during the dark nights and
grueling days here.

Lantos would never be Adonis, but his strong
body and masculine scent reminded me of the man I was missing.

Cleon was thrilled, which I took to be a bad
sign.

“
I’m serious, Lantos,” I
said and wrenched my hands from his grip. “I’d like nothing better
than for you to be paraded out in front of a firing squad, but I
respect Adonis enough to try to care about his friend!”

“
I know you’re angry, but
you need to hear me out,” Lantos replied.

Whirling, I walked away, arms across my
chest. “Anything you reveal to me, Cleon will know.”

“
Nice. So you’re on his
side now?”

Even now, Lantos was trying to manipulate
me. This game never stopped with him, and I was the least prepared
to play it out of everyone I’d ever met. “That’s not what I mean,”
I said, calming. “There’s a chip in my head, remember? The one you
tricked me into letting him plant? He happens to be able to hear
and see everything I can.”

Lantos was quiet enough I thought he left.
Facing the corner, I glared at him when I saw he remained.

He appeared pensive, if not troubled, his
green eyes on me. “You’re right. I can’t tell you.” He went to the
balcony and threw open the doors, allowing moonlight to flood my
room.

I started to relax, hoping he’d take the
hint and leave for once.

“
It’s a shame, really,” he
said. He paused on the balcony and clasped his hands behind his
back. “What I have to say would really help you.”

Don’t. Take. The. Bait.

Lantos, the king of secrets, knew I was
desperate for guidance. “Bring back Adonis,” I whispered. “Or let
me talk to him.”

“
Not yet.”

I sighed.

“
It’s for both of your
highest benefits,” Lantos said.

Suspecting I’d already fallen for whatever
game he was playing this night, I grudgingly joined him on the
balcony. “I don’t believe you. You don’t do anything for others
without a reason.”

“
Adonis is my friend,”
Lantos said firmly.

I rolled my eyes. “I’ve seen how you treat
your friends. If you can’t tell me anything useful this night, then
leave.”

“
Aren’t you curious what
the Oracle told me to pull me into this game?” He glanced at
me.

“
No,” I lied through
gritted teeth.

“
She told me my best and
only friend in the world would die.”

My breath caught.

“
I have the power to save
him. What would you do to save Adonis?” he asked.

“
Anything,” I said without
hesitation.

“
Considering she said
you’re the one who will kill him …” Lantos lifted an eyebrow in
emphasis.

“
No. I’d never hurt
him.”

“
You aren’t you when you do
it.”

I struggled with myself, always at a loss
when it came to what I felt for the elusive, enigmatic Adonis. “No.
You’re wrong. I know it.”

“
Your mind won’t always be
yours,” Lantos said softly. “You’ll be corrupted, unless I figure
out a way around it.”

The logical side of me was in denial, while
my heart hammered and my palms grew sweaty. Lantos knew my fear –
that Cleon would one day control my mind completely – and was
trying to manipulate me into something. I had no way of knowing
what.

Stepping in front of him, I peered up at
Lantos’ handsome face, searching for some sign of the truth in what
he said.

“
The Oracle told you I’d
kill Adonis, because my mind will no longer be mine at some point?”
I asked, terrified of the answer.

“
The Oracle says nothing
directly, but she led me to believe this could be the case.” His
response was as confusing as that of a god.

I would never hurt Adonis. But if the Oracle
saw me losing control …

Cleon was agitated. How
long before his emotion, and potentially his mind, became
inseparable from mine? How long until he could not only control
pieces of my power, but control
me
?

“
What can I do?” I
whispered. “How do I stop him from taking my mind?”

“
Never stop fighting him.
Don’t give him or anyone else the opportunity to wrest your power
and mind away from you,” Lantos advised.

“
No shit, Lantos!” I said
impatiently. “But
how
? I can’t yank this chip out of my mind. I can’t kill him
without damaging my power. So what do I do?”

“
I’m working on finding a
solution.”

“
So you came here to what?
To scare me more by telling me Adonis is in danger?” I asked, face
hot with anger. “
Everyone
is in danger, if my mind is taken from me,
Lantos!” I turned away, furious I’d let myself dare to hope this
man might help.

Lantos was quiet while I fumed. “The truth
is, Adonis is the one person who can save you. It’s why I won’t
call him back here. I didn’t know that several weeks ago, when it
might have mattered. I’m stuck with a puzzle whose pieces I’m not
equipped to put together. I’m grasping at straws here, Alessandra.
I’m doing what barbaric little I can to give you both a chance. I
won’t put him in the position where he dies, but I don’t know what
to do to make things right.”

Somehow, it didn’t surprise me to hear
Adonis held the key to helping me. He had been in both of my
visions so far, though I didn’t understand the importance of his
appearance. I wanted him by my side – but not if it meant he was in
danger from me, if I lost control, or Cleon, who now knew who the
latest threat to his plans was.

“
What are you
really
talking about?” I
asked, sensing so much more than Lantos was saying.

He looked away. “A little while ago, I
learned a secret. I should have known it came too easily. Secrets
this large aren’t handed out willingly, but I chose to believe it,
and I set in motion something I didn’t intend to.”

“
Then you had a moment of
clarity,” I said, recalling his words in Cecelia’s
cavern.

“
Exactly. Would you believe
this player was played?” he winked. “That’s all I can
say.”

Why did I have the feeling he knew something
about my visions?

“
Played by whom?” I
asked.

“
That is not for you to
know now. Focus on your power, and on protecting Adonis.” His tone
was firmer than I’d ever heard it.

Sensing Cleon’s interest, I began to think
Lantos understood the limitations of what he could and couldn’t say
better than I did.

“
I shouldn’t have pushed
you,” I said, even more frustrated with myself for forcing Lantos
to reveal something I didn’t want Cleon to know. “You can’t tell me
anything of significance ever again, if you don’t want Cleon to
know.”

“
I do want him to know
something,” Lantos said with an edge in his voice.

I sighed and leaned back against the railing
of the balcony, studying the man with more secrets and depth than I
was capable of imagining.

“
I want him, and you, to
know that nothing will ever stand between you and Adonis. He will
not allow it. He will destroy anyone who tries to keep you apart,
including me. But you must not allow him into your life, until the
moment when you feel all hope is lost.”