They Who Fell (13 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

T
he walk back up was a terror. Cassie was beside herself, lecturing Jana in a low, urgent tone as they went. She couldn’t tell if Jana had been momentarily overtaken by suicidal urges, or if she was merely stupid, a dull child raised in a dull basement who couldn’t figure out the basics of survival once she’d been thrown in among the lions.

“He saw me with you,” she said. “He’ll probably kill me on sight. Stupid, stupid girl. And what will you do if he catches you alone? What will you do if he comes up there and demands your head?”

“He won’t,” said Jana. “He’s afraid. Afraid of the others. You should have seen them. They swooped in and drove him off.”

“Who swooped in?” asked Cassie. “Tell me. You tell me, and you do it now, or so help me I’ll have you scrubbing toilets with your tongue. I’ll do it, too, don’t think I won’t.”

“It was Zuphias,” said Jana, pausing, and then amending her answer. “Mostly Zuphias. And Rhamiel.”

“
Rhamiel
?” said Cassie. “She told you to stay away from him. I know she told you. And she told me to keep you away from him, too. She wanted to protect you, protect you from him, and now she’s to be expected to save you from Ecanus as well?”

Her voice had risen too much, and had attracted the attention of a passing angel. He flew behind them, lazily winding through the air just close enough to eavesdrop. His robe rippled around him, billowing outward as it caught a draft, an intense white fringed with dazzling gold. His wings were a dark coal, and he watched them for a few more floors before losing interest and drifting away. Cassie kept looking over her shoulder, making sure he was actually gone, before she thought it safe to say another word.

“I don’t know what I can do to help you now,” said Cassie. “You don’t even seem to want to help yourself. Living in here is about being careful. Every step, everything you do, you have to be careful. Even the most insignificant of indiscretions can get you killed. And you go and threaten one of them.”

“He’s hurting my friend,” said Jana. “What am I supposed to do, if he’s hurting my friend? How much do they expect me to take?”

“As much as is needed to survive,” said Cassie. “You take, and then you take some more. You put up with whatever they ask you to, because you don’t have any other choice. It’s do as they say, or die. That’s the deal you make to live up here.”

Jana thought perhaps she did have a choice, and that she hadn’t agreed to any such deal. Cassie had come here, voluntarily, to escape what was on the outside. But she’d been brought here, too young to choose for herself, and too young to do anything other than what she was told. Maybe her parents had thought her life would be better that way, and maybe it had been. They were gone, and she didn’t and couldn’t know. But the life they’d given her had changed, and she hadn’t asked for any of this. All she wanted was some say in the matter.

“Is it like this out there?” asked Jana. “Do they hound you this way?”

“You shouldn’t bother yourself with what it’s like out there,” said Cassie. “They’d never let you out, not now. It’s different outside. But it’s not the escape you’re thinking it is. Everyone bears a burden. You manage to shrug one off your back, and then you can’t help but pick up another to weigh you down again.”

She fumed the rest of the way, stomping and sighing and making Jana haul their wagon throughout the entire trip. She acted angry, but Jana could see her hands shaking as she opened the door to the upper levels, and she grew edgy and stiff each time one of the angels flew past. When they finally arrived at Nefta’s chambers, she took a full minute to compose herself before working up the courage to enter.

They walked in through a blizzard of sawdust, swirling around the room in a gust as the door swung open. Nefta stood in the center, using a chisel to carefully chip away at a large stump. The room was a mess; a few discarded pieces in progress had been tossed aside for their imperfections, and shavings littered the area and peppered Nefta’s gown. She didn’t even notice their arrival, and her trance was broken only by the squeaking of the wagon’s wheels as they pulled it inside.

She looked up, but barely, keeping focused on her work. “Oh, girls. You’ve been gone; I’d forgotten you’d been gone. And you brought me a canvas! You can’t sire a work of art without one, and I’m afraid I’ve spoiled a few of my earlier attempts. The first ones never survive, not if the final product is to be of any merit.” They stood there, waiting for some signal as to what they should do. Cassie had lost all her decisiveness, and was as hesitant as Jana. Nefta just kept working, humming a chirpy melody to herself as she picked at the wood in front of her.

“Don’t be shy, now,” said Nefta. “Put them over in the corner, and I’ll sift through them for the best pieces when I need them. If I need them. I’m getting closer, this time around, and maybe I won’t require another.”

“We’re glad you’re feeling well, ma’am,” said Cassie. “We’ll get to cleaning, and we’ll be in the back if you need us.”

“I’m feeling ecstatic,” said Nefta. “I’ve had a burst of energy, and creation is flowing through me.” Her speech was rapid, coming out in uninterrupted bursts of enthusiasm, a hodgepodge of half-formed plans and inchoate dreams. “I’ve been cooped up in here for too long. I need to act, to do. I’ve thought of so many endeavors, some I’ve put aside for centuries. I wonder now why I’ve never gotten to them. I’m thinking of putting on a show, and hosting some of the others. All this art, sitting up here unappreciated. I’ve a talent for it, I think, and yet I keep it locked away. Or perhaps I should trade some, or give it away as gifts. Jerazol would like some of the happier pieces, and I can always carve replacements if I choose.”

She paced around the room, moving from mask to mask and hastily improvising plans for each of them. “Lepha would like this one for her walls. It was based on a soul I knew long ago. I remember him well. Such a sad man, but he had much to be sad about. I tried to protect him, but he had so many troubles. And Vhnori! He’s a dour sort, but don’t you think he’d like something uplifting, to think of as he prowls the tower’s halls? This one, a little girl. She died young, as so many of your kind did in those days, but she was always bouncing about, never without a smile. It was a good life, even if it was a short one.”

“Oh!” she said, her face lighting up with enthusiasm, as she rushed over and placed an arm around each of them. “I haven’t even shown you my new work. Ignore the crudities; it’s in process, and good art takes time. But I think it could be the best I’ve done, and I’m hopeful, so very hopeful it will turn out to be something special. You’re the first I’ll unveil it to.”

Jana looked to Cassie for some clue as to what to do, but found none. This was the last thing she’d expected. Nefta had been sour and sullen when they’d left, and in a matter of hours she’d swung to the opposite extreme, swirling around her chambers in a frenzy. She was a dynamo, bursting with thought and ideas and energy. Jana couldn’t exactly complain. She’d been worried the entire way up that they’d be interrogated the instant they arrived, and that Cassie would give her up for her folly. Nefta would probably still find out somehow; it was only a matter of when. Her best bet was that Ecanus would be too embarrassed to complain, but she wasn’t optimistic. But for now, a happy Nefta was a harmless Nefta, and she only hoped the mood would last.

“I’ve been working on it in my head all day,” said Nefta, standing beside her creation. “I forced myself to start, and it’s just poured forth from me ever since. I call it ‘Lover’s Embrace.’ Tell me your thoughts, dears, I’d love to hear them.”

The sculpture was large, a thing of oak, two angels holding each other tenderly. Their wings curved around into each other, joining at the tips and forming a protective bubble around them. Their eyes were closed, and their lips locked in a passionate kiss. Both were undamaged and unscarred, angels as they should have been, beautiful without and peaceful within. It was unfinished, and the bottom half lacked detail, their legs still emerging from the wood as Nefta cut away around them.

“It’s amazing,” said Cassie. “I love it. I really, really love it. I think it could be a masterpiece.”

“It’s—” said Jana, starting to offer effusive praise of her own. And then she looked closer.

She recognized them, she thought, the angels in each other’s arms. The female figure was the harder to place, even though it was facing her. It was the lack of scars that made it difficult, but as she focused in she could see it. Nefta had carved herself, a happier self than she’d ever be, in an idyllic moment leaning in for a lover’s kiss. And what a lover she’d chosen. Jana hadn’t recognized him, not from a distance, but as she approached his identity was clear, carved in careful and attentive detail. It was Rhamiel in miniature, hands around his perfect Nefta, showering her with an affection her tarnished counterpart clearly longed for.

“Don’t be shy, dear,” said Nefta. “And be honest. Truthful criticism is the best criticism, even if brutal.” She put her arm around Jana, clamping her hand down on her shoulder and smiling serenely, lovingly. Whether Nefta was wearing a mask of her own, Jana couldn’t tell. She seemed to be everything all at once: threatening and caring at the same time, protecting Jana from the outside only to smother her in the nest to protect her own interests.

“It’s lovely,” said Jana, choking on the words as they came out. “I think everyone will love it.”

“I know they will,” said Nefta. “I know they will. Now run along, and be about your business. It’s a good time to clean my personal chambers, while they’re unoccupied. I’ll be out here finishing things up, and I’d prefer the place to be quiet. Works of great feeling require great concentration. You have to experience things, let them overpower you, and that can’t be done under the eyes of others.”

They pulled the wagon past her, running tracks through the sawdust on the floor, and walked towards one of the storage rooms. They had more than their share of cleaning to do after this, and Jana could only guess as to what state Nefta’s private room was in. But she’d made it through the day alive and unharmed, and that was satisfaction enough to make tidying up seem a joy by comparison. They had almost turned the corner when Nefta called out to her. “And Jana!”

“Yes, ma’am?” said Jana.

“I love you. And you, Cassie. All of you. You may not believe it, maybe not always, but it’s true. One can’t be a guardian for as long as I have without loving her wards truly and deeply. But love is fickle, and love sometimes hurts; there’s nothing to be done about that. This is our time now. Our time to be selfish, our time to taste of freedom. Our time to throw off the shackles of the Maker and live our lives as we choose. We’ve been slaves for so long, to him and to you. It’s not too much to ask for you to step aside and let us pursue some happiness of our own, I don’t think.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Jana.

“Our turn,” said Nefta. “My turn. And I hope you won’t stand in the way of that.”

“No, ma’am,” said Jana.

“Wonderful,” said Nefta. “I knew you wouldn’t do such a thing. You two run along, and let me focus on my work.” She hummed, then, a happy hum of pure contentedness, and turned her back on them. Her wings flared, her chisel rose, and she was lost again in her labors.

Cassie gathered some mops and led the way into Nefta’s private chambers. They were just the disaster that Jana had expected. A gigantic bed filled the center, and it looked like two mattresses had been shoved together underneath their red satin sheets to create it. Down below they’d told stories about them hanging from the ceilings like bats to sleep, and Jana had never really questioned it. She supposed having wings must pose a difficulty, and there was enough room here to let them sprawl across it in any direction. Pillows were strewn about the room, some slashed open, tufts of stuffing spewing out from their innards. A nightstand was overturned, and pools of wax dotted the surfaces of the furniture, the corpses of candles who’d lingered too long into the night. As outside, masks lined the walls, but here all their expressions were tortured, moaning and groaning in silent turmoil, and their eyes seemed to watch her as she moved.

“Get ready to scrub,” said Cassie, handing Jana a mop. The floors were a mess, with food trays overturned and wine glasses shattered against the walls, leaving behind a legacy of reddened stains. Chunks of wood were scattered around the bed, and masks in progress lay everywhere, many of them cracked in half, each contorted into a hideous grimace.

“Not in here,” said Cassie, as Jana reached down to begin picking up some of the debris. “Not after the trouble you’ve put me through. You can do the hard work. Back there.” She pointed to a little room to the side, away from the rest of the place. Jana approached it—the bathroom, chamber pots overflowing, and it reeked. There’d been much debate among the servants below about whether and how the angels took care of that particular business, and now she had her answer. She’d have preferred that it have remained a mystery, but nonetheless she spent the next several hours mopping, scrubbing, and cleaning up the aftermath of Nefta’s weeks of isolation.

Cassie was in and out, returning at one point with a few burly servants from the middle levels. Unpledged to any particular angel, the men were laborers at large, filling in wherever in the tower their services were needed. They righted overturned furniture, hauled off stained sheets for a thorough cleaning below, and scrubbed the walls under Cassie’s watchful eye. They were quick about it, eager to escape before storm clouds gathered again, and one of them had gone so far as to bring a gift from the laborers below, a bottle of fine wine intended to curry Nefta’s favor and forestall any criticisms of their work. They’d even brought one for Cassie, too, and though it was homemade and of humbler origins than Nefta’s, they managed to buy her goodwill as well. The entryway erupted in coos and compliments, and Jana could hear them all the way in the back as she scoured the floor.