Thicker Than Water (29 page)

This was true! She laughed again at his silliness, and nodded in agreement as she took out her cell phone and let him put his number in it. He then called himself and was able to store her number, then he gave her a devilish grin and strolled away. The minute he turned the corner, Heaven melted against the door cheesing a big grin. She felt a twinge of guilt when she thought of Khalil finding out, or was that fear? Either way, it was gone the second it came, as she headed into the locker room and changed into her gym clothes.

“Jacy! Heaven Jacy!” Ms. Simmons shouted over the gymnasium filled with about 50 students. Heaven swiftly took her place in her line of the J’s.

“Here,” she called out, as she prayed Ms. Simmons left her alone today and went to the next name.
Yeah, in my dreams.
Ms. Simmons slowly walked over to Heaven holding her clipboard with a harsh look on her face. She made Heaven so uncomfortable, and it wasn’t because Ms. Simmons was a lesbian. No, Heaven had an aunt that was a lesbian; it was just the way that she looked at her. It was like she hated her and wanted her at the same time.

“Jacy,” Ms. Simmons said in a mocking tone. “What kind of name is Jacy anyway? When I grew up last names and first names were simple. Billy Smith. Debbie James. Monica Simmons.” Heaven furrowed her eyebrows wondering how much more difficult Heaven Jacy was than Monica Simmons. She figured she’d answer the question that she had answered to Ms. Simmons on several occasions.

“Well, Ms. Simmons, my daddy named me Heaven cause he said he wanted to name me something different, and my last name Jacy comes from my maternal great grandparents who were American Indians of the Navajo tribe, Jacy means moon.” A couple of girls snickered as Ms. Simmons looked unimpressed. However Heaven was not looking for a response, if it was one thing she was proud of, it was her heritage, and the fact that she knew her Native American roots as well as her African ones. Although she had the look of the beautiful African American girls from around her way, she also had her reddish brown skin-tone, long black hair, and keen features of her Native American family, and she was proud of it, no matter how much people tried to get her to deny it or repress it.

“Get some looser shorts,” was all Ms. Simmons could reply with.

Heaven looked down at her shorts as she tried to pull them to stretch them out, the boys behind her began making little noises as they stared at her ass that Ms. Simmons had just managed to bring even more attention to. She had tried so many different sizes of gym shorts but it seemed whenever she washed them, there they were hugging her booty again. Ms. Simmons refused to let them wear pants or long t-shirts, and Heaven had the kind of ass that you couldn’t hide in Hammer pants. The fact that her waist was so tiny and her frame was ultimately small even drew more attention to it. She was mortified! Heaven closed her eyes out of pure embarrassment and counted down until the period was over.

When that last bell rang at 2:25 pm, Heaven headed straight to the front entrance. As bad as she wanted to stop by her locker and drop off the two books she didn’t need to bring home, she knew that an extra minute of Khalil waiting was an extra hour of bitching. She just wasn’t in the mood for it.

The minute she stepped outside and smelled the sweet spring air, she wished for things that she noticed other girls experiencing. Talking with friends, flirting with boys, making plans for the weekend, things that were out of the question for Heaven. She stared at a girl and boy play fighting and then making up with a kiss and just as she managed a smile she saw Khalil’s truck pull up. She took a deep breath in and exhaled through her mouth as she walked slowly over to his Denali. He opened the passenger door from the driver’s side and pulled her in gently by her hair before she could fully climb in.

She hated when he pulled her by her hair, but this was something he liked to do, especially in public, to show possession. As they pulled off behind a big yellow school bus, she noticed Ricky Morris surrounded by people, but with his eyes on her.

“You wore that?” He asked, calmly but with a demeaning tone. Heaven looked down at her outfit and wondered what the problem was. It was a 75 degree spring day, and she wore a knee length skirt with ballet flats and a tank under a short denim jacket. She thought she looked kinda classy. Before she could answer, he popped her lightly on the lips. She held her right hand up to her mouth to try to ease the stinging.

“I asked you a question, I expect an answer.”

He turned to her and put his hand on her knee and rubbed up her leg, all the while smiling. She didn’t get him, he was Jekyll and Hyde, angry one minute and all smiles the next. He continued up her leg, then to her thigh as she tightened her legs a little. He ignored her attempt and forcefully moved his hand all the way up her thighs, until he had his fingernails digging sharply against he clit through her panties.

“Ouch,” She moaned in discomfort, pulling at his strong hand as he smiled wider and drove with the other hand, still digging roughly into her softness.

“You see how easy it is?” He asked. “Somebody can just run right up in it and what you gonna do? You gonna fight the way you fighting now?” Tears began welling up in her eyes as his harsh digging became irritating, and then, he abruptly stopped.

“Don’t wear that shit no more.” She licked tears off of her cheek as they drove the rest of the way in silence.

She was happy when they pulled up to Khalil’s apartment. Although being around him made her skin crawl, she was secretly hoping that he didn’t take her home because anything was better than that place. Everyday was a surprise though, and if he took her home some days because of his ‘business’ that he had to handle, she would never question him about it. She walked in, kicked off her shoes, and placed them next to the door. Khalil’s apartment was tiny, on top of a storefront, decorated with cheap leather and a couple of pictures of Heaven in dollar store frames. As she walked over to the couch, she flicked on the TV and thought about the first time she had been there.

She was 13 years old and she had come to Khalil’s with her father one night. The tight studio apartment was packed with people, smoking, drinking, and gambling. She remembered red lights illuminating the space and the smell of cigarettes, alcohol, and sulfur. She had spent the majority of her night on this very couch flicking through channels on this very television. Different people got on and off the couch, but Heaven had remained. Hours must had gone by, and she must had dozed off, because when Heaven awoke her father was in a heated argument cursing and carrying on. Heaven couldn’t make out much of what was going on, but it looked to her as if some man was about to dig in her daddy’s ass for money that she knew her daddy didn’t have. The reason she knew he didn’t have it is because on their way to Khalil’s, her daddy had made a joke about putting her to work so they can get them some steaks. Her daddy sure had a thing for steaks.

And now, here he was looking like he done went and made an ass bet and now was about to be in some shit.

Heaven sat up on the couch with frightened eyes wondering what she could do. She swallowed hard as the man grabbed her daddy up by his collar. Men got up from the round table and started inching toward the door, women scattered to the kitchen, they all knew something was about to go down. Just as the big black man looked as if he was about to rip her daddy a new asshole, a younger man, slightly attractive, in a rugged way, looked at Heaven and broke in between the two. He whispered something to the angry man that made him release a hold on her father, and then dragged her father into the kitchen. Minutes later the party was going on as if nothing had happened and her daddy and Mr. Superman were walking over to Heaven with broad grins.

As they got closer, still grinning, Heaven smiled up at them, relieved that her father had been spared. Although she hated her father, she loved him too, and if anyone was going to hurt him, she would like to be the one to.

“Heaven-sent, this here is Khalil, a new buddy of mine.” Heaven-sent was a name her father had given her the first time he made love to her. Heaven half smiled as Khalil looked at Heaven with admiring eyes, as if he was looking at the golden gates up close and personal. Her father continued. “You saw that shit I was about to get into right baby?”

Heaven nodded.

“Well, Mr. Khalil here done took care of that whole situation for me, he done paid the man his money and all. Now, I told him I had it all under control, I would’ve kicked that nigga’s ass from here to across town, but Khalil took care of it nonetheless. Cause that’s what friends do, you know?”

Heaven could smell the whiskey on her father’s breath as he leaned into her. Her father looked at her and she searched his eyes for some emotion, but they were voided of any type of affection, they were full of malice and ill-intent.

“So what I promised my friend Khalil, is that I would pay him back.”

Heaven squirmed in her seat and frowned her face just knowing what her daddy was about to ask her. She hated doing it, she hated it more than life itself. Her daddy grabbed her arm.

“Now hold on before you go jumping the gun, Mr. Khalil just wanna be ya friend. We aint gonna take him to Heaven yet baby. Don’t you worry about that, I done already told him that what you got going on down there, is worth a lot more than a measly couple of hundred dollars from a card game.”

Her father laughed as Heaven calmed down, a little.

“Mr. Khalil just wanna take you out for some ice-cream, have a little conversation, you know kinda like a date. The kinda things that women and men do.”

Heaven hesitantly looked at her father begging him with her eyes to see that she wasn’t ready to be a woman. She just wanted to be a girl. Her father closed the deal with guilt, as he always did.

“Now c’mon Heaven-sent, you wont do it for daddy? Daddy almost got himself killed and this nice man saved his life, and all he’s asking is to be your friend.”

She looked at her daddy one last time, wishing that he would just love her and protect her like other daddies, instead he propositioned her and passed her along as if she was a piece of meat. He killed her with the final line though.

“You don’t want me to tell mommy about all those nasty things you’ve been doing, do you?”

She opened her mouth as tears welled her eyes. She was so embarrassed and ashamed, especially for him to mention that in front of Khalil, she didn’t want anyone to know. She dropped her head and shook it to say no, as her spiral curls shook side to side. With that, the conversation was over, and Khalil was taking Heaven on her first date.

As they sat in Khalil’s car the next night eating ice cream, Heaven began to loosen up a little. He had remained a gentleman the whole evening, opening doors for her and feeding her compliments, he even paid for her popcorn and candy at the movies.

To Heaven’s thirteen year old mind this was all a big deal, she was actually feeling like it was a date. But to Khalil, it was all chump change, and mere entertainment for his young conquest. She had learned throughout the evening that Khalil was 30 years old, lived alone, was the part owner of a small bar/lounge in Newark, and apparently drank up more liquor than he sold. For Heaven, that had to be the reason that in spite of his fairly young age, he seemed to appear old. He told her that he usually didn’t date such young ‘women’, but when he saw her, he knew that he had to have her. She told him that she didn’t date, period.

“You know Heaven, you are really mature for your age… I can’t get over the way your mind and your body is so developed.” He leaned back in his seat and put one arm around her headrest as she continued to lick her ice-cream cone. He studied her and smirked.

“You better be careful licking that ice cream cone over there, you can get a man like me excited.”

Heaven bit her bottom lip knowing that immediately she was ready for this date to be over. He turned on the radio to the Quiet Storm and turned to face her, as she wiped her mouth with her napkin and threw the rest of the ice cream out the window. She wanted no parts of him or that ice cream anymore.

“Heaven, you ever did it before?” He asked, trying to be as careful with his words as possible. His eyes danced up her tight white pants hugging her thighs and ample bottom. When she didn’t answer he continued.

This wasn’t part of the plan, her daddy told her she didn’t have to do it. She was ready to go home. He turned to face the front and acted as if he was about to start the car, but he was just acting.

“Okay. Fine, you don’t have to do it with me. But let me put you on to something little girl. Your daddy is about to have you doing it sooner than you think. He’s gonna have you doing it all the time, to all types of men. Ugly men, Fat men, old men. Older than me.” He told her this out of his plan for manipulation although he was far from lying. Heaven sucked her teeth.