Thicker Than Water (4 page)

“Let me begin by welcoming you all to our Mabon ceremony. I am Lady Aurora, priestess of the Coven of Light. We hold these rituals publicly to enlighten, to educate, to celebrate. We also use these circles to send and receive energy.”

“Can we use her to get cable?” Kia whispered.

“Shh.” Aaron hushed her.

“Tonight we will perform a ritual that draws from the wisdom of the Wheel of Life. We turn the wheel, and the natural cycle of life continues. All is order; all is right, even in seemingly random events.”

Yeah, if you say so,
Kia thought, holding back a derisive snort. Her deeply random life was so ordered.

There were smiles around the circle, some shut eyes, and definite excitement. Kia wondered if anyone else there felt as stupid as she did.

“We are at the moment when light and dark are equal,” Lady Aurora said. “We are on the cusp of going into the dark. Before we do, we reap our harvest, for now what is manifesting in our lives is what we sowed in the previous quarter. Look to your own lives and see how you created that which you experience now.”

Kia felt her stomach tighten. How could what she was going through be something she created? And what the hell could her mother have done that made cancer her “harvest”?

Kia tried to release her hands from Carol and Aaron's so she could break the stupid circle and walk out of there, but they both just tightened their grips.

Lady Aurora beat the drum regularly now. “At this pinnacle of balance, the sun diminishes and darkness takes over. We go into a time of turning inward and exploring this dark phase in all its aspects.”

People were beginning to sway, and several started a low hum. Aaron looked at Kia and smiled broadly. Kia glanced at Carol, but Carol's eyes were closed.

A chant began. “Dark and light, life and death. Sow and reap.” Still holding hands, they all began to slowly move around the circle.

Oh, great,
Kia thought.
Now for the folk dancing.

The drumming got louder as the chanting built, and everyone picked up speed. The circle became an oval, a parabola, an evolving elastic shape.

“Dark and light!” people shouted. “Life and death!” “Sow and reap!”

Kia could hear Aaron shouting and Carol's softer voice murmuring behind her.

“We prepare ourselves for the dark!” Lady Aurora shouted above the chant and the drums. “What will sustain you?”

“Goddess!” someone shouted.

“What will sustain you?” Lady Aurora cried again.

Kia was panting, her breath ragged as everyone continued to run, to twist, to jump. Her muscles felt good with the exercise, warming her in the darkening twilight.

“Fire sustains us!”

“The Great Mother!”

“What sustains you?” Lady Aurora's voice dropped to a deeper register so that it sounded like another drum. She repeated the phrase over and over under the thumping feet, the heavy breaths, the drumming, the shouting.

“Truth sustains us!” a woman cried.

“Love!” someone responded.

“Friends,” Aaron yelled beside Kia. “Friends sustain us.”

Now the drumming slowed down and the circle changed pace to match. Gradually the group was walking. Kia hated to admit it, but she actually felt better, energized.

She looked at Aaron, his blue eyes shining, a smile so broad it looked as if his ears were tugging on each side of his mouth. Carol's face was flushed a rosy pink, and her chest rose and fell with her deep breaths. The three squeezed hands as they came to a stop.

“With the energy we've raised, let us make a blessing to our Mother, the Earth who sustains us,” Lady Aurora said. “We send out this loving energy to undo the harm our species wreaks upon this world. We are grateful for our bounty, and now as we go into the dark times, we bring with us the strength and energy of our circle.”

Everyone released hands and most plopped onto the lawn. Kia pulled herself into a cross-legged position on the grass. Aaron sprawled beside her while Carol tucked her legs under herself.

“Wow!” Aaron said, the ear-to-ear grin still across his face. “That really was something.”

Carol nodded. “I feel ... different. What about you?”

Kia shrugged. “It was okay, I guess. I liked the aerobic portion of the program.”

Aaron knocked into Kia's shoulder with his own. “Skeptic. Cynic. We shall cure you of these ills. Didn't you feel something?”

Kia looked at her friends. Their faces looked like matching moons, shining in the now-dark park, illuminated by the old-fashioned streetlamps just overheard. “Yeah ...” Kia admitted slowly. “I felt something while we were dancing. Connected some way.”

“Exactly!” Aaron's head bobbed up and down fervently.

“Would you like some apple cider?” One of the girls who looked their age held out a cup to Carol. She was carrying a thermos and a stack of cups. Her deep orange dress hung loosely over thick brown leggings, making her resemble an autumn leaf.

“Sure.” Carol took one of the cups and held it out for the cider.

“I'm Steffi,” the girl said. She flashed Aaron a smile of such wattage Kia wondered if she thought he was straight.

Kia reached up to take a cup from Steffi. She noticed the girl give her a once-over that was less welcoming than the warm smiles she had given Aaron and Carol.

Was it the nose stud? The eyebrow ring?
Or do I radiate a “my mom has cancer” aura?

Steffi poured the cider and Kia watched the steam rise into swirls above the cup.

She sipped the drink as Steffi moved away.

Aaron sighed. “Isn't he beautiful?”

Kia glanced across the circle at Elf Boy, watching as he and Steffi exchanged friendly hellos. “So go talk to him,” she said.

Aaron shuddered. “I can't.”

“He keeps checking you out,” Carol said. “Haven't you noticed?”

“I make a great impression from a distance,” Aaron said. “But up close ...” His voice trailed off.

Kia stood and grabbed his hand. “Okay, let's make you the best impression possible. Look interesting.”

“What?”

“Let him see from over there just how dynamic, sexy, and in demand you are,” Kia coached. “Say something.”

“What are you doing?” Aaron asked.

She laughed and touched his arm. “I'm making it look as if you said something hilarious. Funny is attractive.”

Carol stood too. She slipped her arm through Aaron's and beamed at him. “And I'm making it look as if I can't stand not being included because you are just too fun.”

Aaron wriggled out of Carol's clutches. “Actually, you two are making me look straight—which is totally the
wrong
impression.”

“Let's go talk to Steffi,” Carol said. “She was friendly, and she seems to know him. She can tell him how charming you are.”

“Oh, well, that's easy. I excel in situations of no sexual tension,” Aaron said. He and Carol traipsed across the grass toward Steffi. They said something to her, then Elf Boy joined in the conversation, and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

“Productive?” Kia asked as Aaron and Carol wandered back to where she was standing.

“Very,” Carol said.

“His name is Michael,” Aaron gushed.

“I prefer Elf Boy,” Kia said. “Can I call him that?”

“Sure,” Aaron replied. “It can be his code name so we can talk about him secretly.”

“I'm hungry,” Carol said. She turned to Kia. “Are you sleeping over?”

“If that's okay, yeah,” Kia said. She didn't feel ready to go home. “I have to let my dad know. But he can wait.”

“Let's go eat,” Aaron said.

Aaron and Carol waved goodbye to Steffi. Elf Boy waved back, causing Aaron to whirl around and walk away very quickly.

“Did you see that?” he asked, gripping Kia's arm.

“I think you've made a conquest,” Carol said.

“And I think it was very smart to make this quick exit,” Kia said. “Otherwise you might have actually waved back.”

Aaron stopped dead. “Oh no.” His eyes widened. “Do you think he thinks I'm rude?”

“I think he thinks you have someplace to go,” Carol assured him.

“Which is also attractive,” Kia said.

As they made their way through the darkened park, Kia noticed the crowds had thinned since her walk over.

“So do you think it's real?” Carol asked. “Magic. Witchcraft. Making things happen with rituals and spells?”

“Definitely,” Aaron said. “I decided after the first season that
Buffy
wasn't just a TV show; it was a documentary.”

“Buffy
is mostly about vampires, not witches,” Kia said. “So now you think vampires are real too?”

“I think everything is real if I say it's real,” Aaron said.

“According to quantum physics, that's closer to right than you might think,” Carol said.

“How's that work exactly?” Kia asked. They came around Bethesda Fountain and headed toward Strawberry Fields at the west side of the park.

“Well, there's this whole thing about how the observer affects the outcome,” Carol explained. “Which means the physical world, even at the quantum level, is changeable and even controllable if you know what you're doing.”

“So, what, my random thoughts are making things happen?” Kia asked.

“Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous,” Aaron joked.

“Come on, guys,” Carol said. “You're taking physics too.”

“Yes, but you're the only one who pays attention,” Aaron pointed out.

Carol shook her head. “There's also the rule that matter is never created or destroyed, but simply transformed.”

“So you think there's science to all this occult stuff?” Kia asked. She wasn't sure if she liked that idea or if it just made her more freaked out about the world in general.

Carol shrugged as they left the park. “I'm just saying that the more I study quantum, the more I think magic is possible.”

“And what about all those miracles you hear about?” Aaron said as they stopped for a traffic light. “You know, people praying for someone they don't know and then the sick person gets better.”

Kia stiffened. Did Aaron want to get into this whole magic thing because of her mom?

“Wouldn't it be great? If we could really change things with magic?” Aaron said, his voice wistful.

“What would you change?” Kia asked cautiously.

“What do you think?” Aaron held up a hand and made a circling motion around his face.

Kia turned to Carol. “How about you?”

Carol's eyes stayed focused on the street ahead. “I'd do a magic spell to become visible.”

“That's a twist,” Kia said with a laugh. “Isn't
invisibility
a better power?”

“Besides,” Aaron added, “you already are visible. We can see you.”

“I mean to my parents.” She pushed her long hair behind her ears and cleared her throat. “My brother sent a postcard from Chicago. All it said was, ‘I'm alive.”'

Aaron was quiet for a second, then turned to Kia. “And you?”

Kia knew the question was coming. She tried to think of something to say, something other than, “I'd do a spell so that I never picked up a razor blade again.”

Carol put a hand on Kia's arm. “We know what kind of spell you'd cast,” she said softly. “Something to cure your mom.”

Kia felt her face flush with shame.
On top of everything else that's wrong with me, add selfishness.
She smiled and nodded. “Well, yeah.”

Aaron took her hand and squeezed. And Kia added, “And to be a better person.”

That was a spell she seriously needed to find.

K
ia stood by the silver elevators, picking at her black nail polish. A ding announced the elevator's arrival, and Kia stood aside to allow a blue-robed skeletal man exit with his IV pole. Her jaw tensed as she stepped into the elevator with a father carrying a small child and a Mylar balloon saying Get Well Soon, two doctors, and a Chinese food deliveryman. She leaned into the corner and pretended she wasn't there.

She arrived on her mom's floor and walked past the big desk where white-coated people conferred about life and death and deli menus. One nurse with a drawling southern accent was always nice, and once she realized that there was no husband/dad in the picture, she always took Kia's questions seriously. Not that Kia asked much. She didn't know what she ought to know and was pretty sure that knowing too much was not going to help. Mostly she wanted to be sure her mom had ice, and a vomit bucket, and got cleaned up, and wasn't being accidentally OD'd like patients sometimes were on TV.

“Hey, Mom,” Kia said before she even passed the dividing curtain separating her mom from The Roommate. The door was always kept open and there was no point in knocking, so this allowed Kia to put on her practiced grin and force her voice into its cheery register.

“Hi, sweetie,” her mom answered in a whispery voice.

Kia felt a sharp stab in her chest. Mom must have had her treatment recently.

Kia came around the curtain, wearing her smile as an uncomfortable accessory. “Hey, how's it going today?”

Kia settled under the fading Monet print. She slung a booted leg over the arm of the chair. She tried not to notice her mother's shape under the sheets: she'd lost weight since last week. The IV dripped into her arm and her head was wrapped in a turban. A cup of ice chips on the dresser next to the phone sweated condensation down its plastic pseudo-pink sides.