Thief: X (4 page)

Why was my life so complicated? Oh, that’s right; my parents couldn’t wait to get pregnant naturally and had to ask Cain to put a bun in the oven. Ok, I admit they didn’t know at the time, and my mom was still in denial, but my dad was unbelievably guilty. Were my mom couldn’t see Adram, my dad could and it was because of him I agreed to let Adram train me. I think he thought that if I could at least defend myself I would be fine. The only problem with that, was that it put an even bigger target on my head. It was also one of the main reasons my dad wanted me to work for him but I couldn’t. I was my mother’s daughter and incredibly stubborn. Plus, I thrived on the sin of stealing and anything else bad enough for me to feel it. If I was down on energy, I could always flash my boobs in an emergency. Although my mom didn’t appreciate it when I flashed the Women’s Institute at the local fair. It was an emergency! They would’ve given a diabetic a Mars Bar but no, they screamed and my mom fainted on top of the charity baking stand. What made it worse was that I was laughing so much I couldn’t help her. I still don’t think she’s forgiven me, even after fifteen years.

By the look on the Major’s face, he thought I was going to be a nuisance too. So, why did he want me? On the way home, escorted by armed soldiers might I add, I was wracking my brain on the why. There were other organisations out there that I knew full well the Major would have his little, piggy fingers in. Surely that stupid woman who exposed Little Haven’s public to the big bad would have done this? It was quite apparent he hadn’t known everything about me and when I sucked out one of his sins, I thought he was going to kill me. Luckily, he needed me way too much to do what he wants. As long as he wasn’t going to collect me at the end of this it may be profitable for me. I wouldn’t leave the building until he agreed to leave my family alone and pay me. When I left, I thought I only had one problem, but the more I thought about it, the more issues started to swim against my better judgement.

I didn’t work well with others and I now found myself lumbered with Marshall Walker. What made it a million times worse was that the Major insisted/blackmailed me into allowing Marshall to stay with me. I had never, ever let a man stay in my house. Cam was too young and didn’t count while my dad avoided me thanks to his guilt. What the hell was I going to do with a real life cowboy? The things that were flitting across my brain were way too sinful for him to agree to. Then there’s the fact he has a daughter and was probably married to a super model. Yet again, the gorgeous sex god was either married or gay…just my luck. Then there was the issue of me being on a sex strike thanks to Dorian. When I saw him again I was going to kick him so hard in the balls he’d have to change his name to Dora the Explorer.
THEN
I had to find out where in the hell Adram had vanished off to. I’d never felt so alone in my life sitting in that god-awful room. Adram had been a constant in my life for years, whether I wanted him to be or not, and it felt so weird without him.

It was safe to say I was now in a mood. This was the reason I didn’t do groups! They put me in moods, and when we had to make a pit stop to pick up Mr Walker Texas Ranger’s things I was sighing so hard I nearly hyperventilated. Not a good look on someone who’s supposed to be all kick arsery. He was only staying in the village, which was a good thing; the bad thing was his room was in the Cock Inn. I glared at Kibble as he shrugged and mentally added him onto the shit list in my head.

I was now standing outside my front door in a running suit with a cowboy and no keys. NO KEYS!

“This is a quaint little village…” Marshall was looking around. I had to admit I loved my house. It was technically a cottage with an actual picket fence and ivy growing up the walls. It was also my safe haven and extremely personal to me. I felt violated by just letting him inside. Dorian was just an arsehole but he was kind of a friend…or he was?

“What?” I shouted out of frustration, “Look, I’m sorry. Neither of us wanted this and things are starting to really piss me off
and
now I don’t even have my keys.”

“Actually I did want this.” If looks could kill, the cowboy would be dead at my feet. I hoped to God my mom was still inside. I had to ring the bell to my own house.

“It’s about time you got home, we need tea bags.” I pushed past my mom, resisting the urge to remind her that the village shop was directly opposite.

“Not now.” I yelled on my way to the kitchen.

“And who might you be?” I didn’t have to turn my head to know she had a hand on her tweed covered hip looking at Marshall,

“Marshall Walker. Pleased to meet you…”

“Mrs Trescott. I’m
that
one’s mother.”

“Pleased to me you ma’am.” Oh God, my mom giggled. She actually giggled like a teenager.

“Don’t you have to go home to dad? Mom…are you even listening to me?” I was going straight to the freezer for my emergency vodka,

“I was just on my way out when you turned up.”

“Where’s Cam?” I pushed the frozen peas out the way to exposed the wonderful clear bottle of Russian Vodka,

“Oh, he’s off with his friends somewhere. It’s about time you brought a nice man home.” She smiled at me. Forget the glass; I was looking for a straw! I glared at her and I think she finally got the point. “Anyway your father is taking me out to dinner to apologise and if I don’t leave now I won’t have time to pick out a new dress.”

I didn’t even look up as I was rummaging through my kitchen draws for a straw, “See ya!” I shouted for her to huff,

“You better know what you’re doing hooking up with my daughter Mr Walker.” I stood in shock in the kitchen doorway with the opened vodka bottle in my hand, which I nearly dropped thanks to her comment. I did the next best thing, and took a long swig and winced at the coolness, rather than its potency as it ran down my throat.

“I’m sure she’ll be a pleasure.” He smiled and I sprayed what was left in my mouth over myself. Thank God my mom left after that but then I was left with Marshall, who was smiling at me,

“Where shall I put my stuff?” Up your arse!

“I suppose you could have Cam’s room as he’ll follow mom home but if he comes back you’re on the sofa.”

“Fair enough.” He nodded and then just stared at me…waiting. I took another swig, probably looking more and more like an alcoholic to him,

“What?”

“Is there a particular direction I should be going?” He smiled and yes, it should have melted me but I was in too much of grump. Adram always called it my demon grump because I was bitchier than a wailing banshee.

“Up the stairs to the right. The bathroom is opposite and knowing my mom, there’ll be fresh towels out. Don’t be long because I want to discuss what you know about Clockwork, and then I’m taking a shower and passing out for at least twelve hours.” Even though I had sneaked a little sin from the Major, I was exhausted. Then again, the lack of sleep was making my eye twitch and it really wasn’t a good look.

“I’ll be right back.” He started up the stairs and then stopped, “Thank you for this.” He sighed and then continued his stride. The problem was that I did actually feel sorry for him but now I was stuck on a case that I was blackmailed into taking.

As I couldn’t find that damn straw I poured a rather large glass of vodka and slumped my arse on my sofa.

“Adram!” I wanted a few answers from him, “Adram, show yourself before I summon you!” Although Adram was my own personal demon, he also had his hellish duties. This meant on occasion a Satanist or some other idiot would summon him for a gift of power. Unfortunately, the only gift he ever gave was the gift of bitchiness and sarcastic advice on how to dress.

“Adram! Habent determinationes oppositas, ostende te.” Nothing like a bit of Latin to illustrate my point,

“Enough already!” Adram appeared in a puff of smoke and hell fire looking incredibly sheepish. For once, his tail feathers were tucked away and he was being excessively quiet,

“Are you going to explain where the hell you’ve been?”

“I could but…” My eyebrows shot up and he sighed, “…I got summoned and then when I tried to get to you, I couldn’t. I knew where you were but I couldn’t get through the layers of protection.”

“It’s never stopped you before.” I wished I were feeling angry because I wouldn’t feel so hurt at his abandonment,

“I couldn’t get through Xan, I tried. Not only was it warded against magical attack, I could feel lead, silver, iron and to top it off holy water. I tried. I really, really tried.”

“Not hard enough.” Yep, I was really hurt and it was a weird feeling,

“Oh come on Xan, you know I didn’t have a chance to get through all of that. I’m here now so you can tell me who grabbed you. Whoever it was had some serious protection against the big bads of the world. I’m surprised you didn’t feel it.” He came and sat next to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Unfortunately he was right; I should have been able to feel the repellents he’d just described.

I sighed and started to explain everything. I watched his eyebrows rise higher and higher until I thought they might jump off and crawl back to hell themselves.

“Whoa that’s some wacked out shit.” I let my head rest on his shoulder and felt strangely comforted by the smell of sulphur, “You’re only uptight because you’re exhausted. You need to sleep before you pass out and the booze isn’t helping.” He took the glass out of my hand and placed it on the table.

“You’d be surprised.” I sighed,

“So where’s the Texas Ranger? I can’t believe you agreed to work with someone.”

“I didn’t have much choice did I? He’s upstairs and I’m still trying to come to terms with my mom flirting with him.” Adram laughed so I hit him on the shoulder- hard. “Stop laughing, it isn’t funny!”

“Oh it is. It really is.” I admit his laugh was infectious and although I felt ready to pass out, I was laughing just as hard.

“What. The. Hell. Is. That?” We both turned to see Marshall standing in the doorway. His eyes were like saucers and he was aiming a gun straight at Adram.

“You can see him?” I shot up and moved in front of Adram,

“Of course I can see that freaky looking Grinch!”

“Well, I’ve been called some things over the years but that has to be the most hilarious.” Now Adram was up and prancing behind me. If he let his tail feathers out, Marshall would probably shoot him.

“What the hell is it?”

“He’s not an ‘it’, he’s a demon.” I rolled my eyes because I heard the whoosh of Adram opening his feathers. Why did I have to have a green, furry, peacock demon?

“Demon’s don’t exist.” I turned around to catch Adram pulling faces over my shoulder.

“And yet here we are. Just put the gun down and sit. You know there’s strange things out there, remember what the Major said? You must have believed some of it or you wouldn’t be seeing Adram now.”

“You said ‘we’.” Now he was aiming his gun at me. I snatched it from his hand before he could even blink and emptied the chamber,

“Long story short, I’m half demon and way too tired to have this conversation now. I’ve been up for nearly forty eight hours and my last nerve just snapped when you held me at gun point.” I looked at the gun and realised it was a nice custom piece, with what looked like an ivory handle, “Although I admit it is a nice gun.” I handed it back to him but he was still twitchy.

“I’m not sure I believe this…” he slumped into a chair, anger and frustration written across his face.

“Yet there’s a big, furry, green demon standing right in front of you. You’re starting to believe, which means you’ll soon start to see the other things hidden in this world. Just try not to shoot them because they really don’t like that and I wouldn’t want you to get eaten.”

“Eaten?” Marshall cringed at Adram gnashing his teeth together,

“Adram that isn’t helping!”

“Oh come on love, it’s been a while since I’ve played with a non-believer.”

“Look, you can kill each other later…”

“Hey!” Marshall and Adram said together, which made me smile,

“…but we have shit to do and I have no idea where to start. I don’t expect you to accept any of this and things are gonna get harder for you. We both have to find Clockwork, so I suggest that’s what we concentrate on. I’m not a fan of working with an amateur…”

“I’m sure I can cope…you know, being a Texas Ranger and all.” Did he just crack a joke?

“It’s a little different than rounding up some cattle with your cowboy skills.” Adram was laughing but I wanted to kill him.

“Adram, will you shut up before I let him shoot you!”

“I was just saying. You know supernaturals are a bitch to handle at the best of times and they’ll just love a non-believer.” Adram folded his arms across his chest and huffed.

“Let’s get to the point then shall we? What do we know about Clockwork?”

“I don’t like sharing either.” Marshall’s ears were getting rather red,

“You were willing to share at Kibbles. We have a crossed purpose and if you’d have told me the thing you needed me to find was your daughter I would have probably said yes. Now we have this weird alliance than neither of us feel comfortable with but if we don’t work together we’re stuffed.” He knew I was talking sense but he didn’t like it. I could always drug him and tie him up? Maybe.