Thin Girls Don't Eat Cake (19 page)

Cole sauntered down the stairs of the beer garden towards me, two glasses and a bag of nuts in his hand. The muscles in his arms flexed as he carried them and his jeans sat loosely on his hips in a certain way that made you want to rip them off. A nice thought, now that I was legitimately allowed to have it.

Pausing at the edge of the grass, he stopped to look around. Above him, the setting sun shone through the silver birch trees casting a dappled light over his face and jaw. I shifted slightly in my seat, letting my eyes roam over his body. Yes, I knew it was rude to stare but gosh, he was pretty. Possibly not an adjective a guy like him would appreciate but it was true. Cole was pretty, not to mention pretty damn hot.

Stopping in front of me, he put the glasses on the table. A swarthy grin spread over his face. “Whatcha lookin’ at?”

Crap. He’d totally sussed me out. I tried to look as if I hadn’t been checking him out. “Nothin’.”

A dark eyebrow rose behind his glasses. “Well, it couldn’t have been my bum, seeing as I was facing you.”

More’s the pity. After jogging behind him along the river track I was well aware of how nice Cole’s bottom was. I didn’t need an invitation to look at it.

“If you must know, I was looking at a bird in the tree behind you.” I pointed to the silver birch where a parrot perched, cursing myself for not being able to come up with a remotely less lame excuse.

“Yeah and I’m Prince Harry.”

“If you were, I wouldn’t have been looking at the bird.”

Cole released a chuckle. “Smart mouth.” He tossed a bag of nuts in my direction. “Cashews. As requested.”

“Cool. Ta.”

Ripping the bag open, I took two nuts, popped them into my mouth and slowly sucked the salt off. They were such a treat for me now and I wanted to savour each and every one. At least it would give me something to concentrate on other than how cute Cole looked standing there in front of me or the disaster zone that was my house right at that moment. Alice still wasn’t talking to Jed. If anything, the big freeze had turned into an iceberg of titanic proportions. If only they’d get over it.

“I thought a picnic at the falls might be nice. I’ve never been there. Do you want to go after work on Saturday?” Cole slid onto the bench beside me. His knee brushed against mine as he leant across to pick up his drink and a shot of something fizzy burst through my veins. I hated and loved how he could do that to me — that we could be so attracted that I felt it physically.

“Olivia?” A hand waved in front of my face.

“Sorry?”

I’d been miles away then.

“Am I boring you?” Cole attempted to look offended but all it did was make him appear even more smoulderingly sexy than he did on a regular basis.

I gave him a slight shove with my shoulder. Cole could never be boring. He was, well… he was plain yummy. “Don’t be silly.”

“But something else is on your mind? Other than my manly good looks, of course.”

God, what sort of a man was he? Everyone knew the dangers of asking what was on a girl’s mind.

“That does go without saying. But no. I was thinking about Alice and Jed on this occasion.”

“Gutted.”

“Don’t be. I spend a lot of time thinking about you. Well, your bum at any rate.”

“And so you should. I think about your body way more than is respectable.” Cole took a handful of nuts and pointed the open bag in my direction. “Alice is the pretty blonde one, right?”

“Yeah. Her husband Jed is the bank manager. Neat brown hair, quite tall, rather gangly.”

“Do I know him?”

“Not sure. I don’t think you’ve ever been introduced. Anyway, Alice is convinced he’s playing up on her. Unfortunately, the signs seem to be pointing in that direction. Even though I find it hard to believe.”

Yesterday, Alice had come blaring into the shop and announced she’d seen Jed and some unknown girl in the alley between the supermarket and Jim’s. They’d been whispering and coordinating something on their phones. Most likely phone numbers. I stopped short of pointing out that was what most people did with phones — and who knew why Jed would need the girl’s number — I hadn’t wanted to start another crying fit or at the very least an argument. I also didn’t want to know how Alice knew this because I was fairly sure Alice had taken up stalking in her spare time. She’d appeared wearing a trench coat, dark glasses and a beret when it was a beautiful day outside and warm enough for a t-shirt and shorts.

“And this affects you, how?”

“Alice is staying at my place. She’s refusing to speak to him.”

“Ahhh. Right. And you’d like her to leave?”

“No. I love having her around but it’s so much drama. With Jed practically camped out on the doorstep, I feel as if my life has been invaded. Maybe I’m too old to be sharing a place. I haven’t done it since I was at Uni. I’m too set in my ways to have other people’s crap cluttering up my floor. I have enough problems keeping my own crap in order.”

“You crotchety old woman. Remind me never to stay over.”

He wanted to stay over? Luckily, he hadn’t seen the state of my house. It looked like a scene from that Hoarders show at the moment. No man would want to stay over in that mess.

“She’s driving me bonkers, Cole. She never washes the pots — apparently that’s what dishwashers are for — and there’s gym gear strewn over the laundry floor. Plus, the undies have to be hung on the line in a specific way or she has an aneurism. Who’d have thought I’d been doing it wrong all these years.”

I knew most of these quirks were probably stress related but it didn’t make it any easier. Having to re-peg my smalls had almost been the last straw.

Looking at Cole, I could see his lips pressed together.

“Don’t laugh,” I chided. “It’s not funny!”

He made a serious face then began to waggle his eyebrows.

“Don’t do that either. You’ll make me laugh,” I cried.

“If I’m not allowed to make you laugh, how about I take you away from this and we go on that picnic? Have a bottle of bubbly? Lie on the grass in the sun and feed each other tasty titbits from the basket like other people do when they like each other? That’ll take your mind off Alice.”

A good point, though lying anywhere with Cole would probably guarantee my mind was elsewhere. There was only one snag in the scenario.

“Uh, I don’t cook. The only tasty titbit coming from a basket I own will be pate on a cracker from the supermarket.”

“And you struck me as the domestic type.”

“Maybe in a past life. Muffins from a packet are the extent of my culinary greatness.”

Cole looked serious. “I don’t know if this relationship can continue to blossom if you can’t be chained to the sink where you belong.”

I liked the idea that we were in a relationship that was blossoming. It sounded sort of sweet.

“I can make quiche,” I added, hastily. “I haven’t done it since high school, though, so it might be a bit of a fizzer.”

“Desserts?”

“My prowess with mousse and pudding are renowned only for their failures.”

“So basically you’re a kitchen calamity.”

“Basically.”

Cole hooked a leg over each side of the bench, swivelling to face me. His voice was a soft rumble. A rasping, sexy rumble. “So what exactly are you good at?”

Apart from eating mountains of cake?

“Guess that’s for me to know and you to find out.”

“An event I look forward to.”

He wound his arm about my waist, pulling me against him as he slid my sunglasses onto the top of my head with his free hand. His eyes locked on mine. I’d never noticed before — possibly because I’d never been that close to him — but he had the most interesting streaks of smoky grey in his eyes. They were beautiful.

“Olivia?”

“Yes?”

Was he going to kiss me? I certainly hoped so.

“You have salt on your top lip.”

“Do I?” Reaching up, I put a finger to my lip.

“I’ll get it.” Cole reached forward, cupping my chin with his hand. His lips closed tenderly over mine. They were warm and soft and absolutely perfect. The kiss was absolutely perfect. Like no kiss I’d ever experienced before.

At last, he drew away.

“Did I really have salt on my lip?” I whispered, somewhat shaken by the emotion of the kiss.

Cole chuckled and gave my knee a squeeze. “Guess that’s for me to know and you to find out.”

*****

I arrived home to find Jed on sitting the doorstep looking like an orphan puppy.

Again.

His shirt was creased, as if he hadn’t changed it in days and there was a faint trace of stubble on his normally smooth shaven skin. He looked defeated and the closer I got to the front door the more forlorn his demeanour became.

“This is starting to become a habit,” I said, as I stepped over him. “If I didn’t know better I’d think I’d you were auditioning to join my garden gnome collection.”

His face remained inexpressive, like a spell had been cast on him freezing his features into a sad scowl. “You don’t own any garden gnomes. You detest garden gnomes.”

“Which makes it kind of lucky you’re not a gnome then, doesn’t it?” I slid my key in to the lock of the front door. “Is there any special reason for this visit or have you taken up full time guarding of my garden?” Between him and Alice there seemed to be an awful lot of covert operations going on.

Jed stood up. His face looked even graver but that could have been due to the fact that we were standing in the dark because Alice hadn’t turned on the porch light. Or she’d turned it off, hoping he’d go away.

“You have to let me in, Livvy. I’ve tried everything. She won’t talk to me, she won’t let me explain.”

“I’m aware of that Jed. She’s been living with me for the past week, remember? And between us, I don’t know how you put up with her. Alice is my best friend but she has some rather unusual habits.”

“The undies?”

“One of many.”

I turned the doorknob.

“Can I come in?” Jed begged. “Please. I have to see her. It’s our anniversary tomorrow. I have to convince her to come to dinner with me. If I can get her there, everything will fall into place. She’ll understand then.”

I sighed. “All right. But I’m warning you, there was mention of cutting your testicles off with a steak knife earlier in the week.”

“Probably the least of my worries right now.”

I led the way down the hall to the lounge and poked my head around the door. Alice was sitting in the dark by the fire, nursing a glass of wine. What was it with these two and darkness? They took power conservation to a whole new level.

“Hey, Al.”

Alice looked up. Her face was streaked with dried up tears. She had a crusty stain on the left shoulder of her top and her hairclip was askew making her look as if she’d sprouted a third ear. Marital troubles were doing absolutely nothing for her usually flawless appearance.

“I have someone here who wants to see you.”

“Tell him to go away. Unless it’s Patrick Dempsey. He can come in.”

Jed moved into the space of the door. “Just me. Sorry. Mind if I join you?”

I wondered if they were going to turn the lights on.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, shall I? I’ll be in the kitchen whipping up a gourmet dinner if you need me.”

At least they cracked a smile.

“And Alice, remember what I said about my carpet. Okay?”

“If I kill him, I’ll do it in the hall.”

After checking baby Ethan, who was sound asleep and blissfully ignorant of the domestic disharmony between his parents in the next room, I turned on the kitchen light and began to rattle around in the fridge. I hoped Alice and Jed were okay in the lounge alone. Maybe I should have stayed to mediate. It was awfully quiet in there, which could mean only one of two things. Alice had indeed killed him or they were perched on the couch, like a couple of possums staring into the dark, both too stubborn to begin a conversation.

Pacing the hall whilst jiggling a crying baby was not my first choice of Saturday evening entertainment and given my limited experience with babies, not the wisest life move I had ever made. Well, apart from wearing those teeny tiny shorts to The Killers concert that time. In hindsight, they were a bad choice, mostly because I looked like I was wearing underpants in the photos. How was I to know that being the local weather girl had meant I was going to be photographed on my day off? Or that the resulting social media furore over my bum crack would have caused a stir that was bigger than the bloody concert itself. I’d been so innocent before Graeme had taught me the ways of the media world.

And now here I was, at nine o’clock on a Saturday night, pacing the floorboards and wondering where to turn. Ethan was wailing at the top of his lungs. I’d fed him, I’d changed his nappy; I’d even played a lame version of peek-a-boo that only made him cry more. Nothing had worked. It was almost enough to put me off ever wanting a child myself.

Yeah. Who was I kidding? It didn’t even come close.

After twenty minutes of pacing I reached the front door for what seemed like the hundredth time and began to pace in the opposite direction. My mind raced in time with my pacing and jiggling. There had to be someone I could contact for help but who? Mum gone on a mini-break with Connor — I was convinced she thought she was an older version of Bridget Jones or something — and I certainly wasn’t calling Mrs Tanner, even if she was a retired midwife. Alice was off the list too. I had no intention of calling her. Not after it had taken every ounce of persuasive skills I’d had in me to convince her to go out for dinner in the first place. Besides, she’d never trust me with Ethan again if I couldn’t cope on the first occasion she’d asked me to sit for more than an hour. And I didn’t want to be the incompetent baby-minder. I wanted to be able to have Ethan stay over any time he wanted when he was older. I wanted to be like a cool auntie.

Until two hours ago, Alice had been set on staying home, standing Jed up. But after I’d pointed out she’d never be able to do that because I’d die of curiosity if I didn’t find out what Jed had been up to, she’d agreed to go for my sake. I wasn’t sure if she was doing a good job of pretending she didn’t care less or if she really didn’t but it wasn’t every day your best friend, who adored children but had absolutely no experience with them agreed to babysit at the last minute. There was no way Alice could turn down an offer like that.

The louder Ethan squawked the faster I paced, my mind in a whirling frenzy. Who the devil knew anything about babies and would come at the drop of a hat to offer assistance? I’d mentally gone through every person in living memory and then some when the idea hit me. It hit me so hard I stopped dead in the middle of the hall causing Ethan to lurch in my arms and let out a gurgle of mirth. Then he began to scream even louder.

Cole.

I would call Cole. He’d had a baby once. He was bound to know what I should do. Now that we were in a ‘blossoming relationship’, there was no reason why I couldn’t give him a call. Balancing Ethan, who was now squawking in my ear whilst trying to take out my left earring, I went into the kitchen and picked up the phone.

“Olivia?”

“Cole. Um, are you busy?” I know I was probably yelling into the phone but it was the only way I was going to be heard over the baby.

“What’s that bloody awful noise? It sounds like someone’s strangling a cat.”

I didn’t have time for this.

“I’m in a bit of a pickle.”

“Does it involve a cat?”

If he made one more joke I was going to cry. This was beyond desperate. Ethan’s cheeks had turned from red blotches to huge purple welts.

“No, it involves a baby. He won’t stop crying. I’ve fed him and changed him. I’ve done everything I can think of but he won’t stop.”

“I gather this is Alice’s baby we’re talking about. Does he have a fever?”

I looked at Ethan.

“Feel his forehead, Olivia.”

Wow, could Cole see through the phone or what? I put my palm to the baby’s forehead. “It’s warm but normal warm.”

“Well, that’s a good sign. But I’d best come over to be on the safe side. See you in five minutes.”

“I don’t know how to thank you for this.” An audible sigh of relief escaped my lips. Not that Cole would have heard it over the wailing of the baby.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something.” He chuckled.

*****

Thirty minutes later, Cole and I were sitting on the couch in the living room, a very drowsy Ethan cuddled in Cole’s large arms. The fingers of one tiny hand played at the fabric of Cole’s shirt as Ethan’s eyelids grew heavier and heavier. His other hand held a cooled teething ring, which he was sucking on furiously. Nobody would have believed it was the same child who’d been howling the place down half an hour before. He looked like a happy little angel, positively cherubic.

“I can’t believe you fixed him,” I whispered. “I thought I was going to have to take him to the hospital. I could kiss you Cole.”

Cole’s eyes twinkled. “I might let you do that a bit later. After we get this little one into bed.”

Cole’s arrival had been like a visit from the male version of Supernanny. Scooping the crying baby from my arms as I opened the front door, he’d stuck a finger in Ethan’s mouth identifying a number of small bumps on his gum.

“Teething,” he’d pronounced. There was something sexy about a man who took charge I’d thought, as he disappeared to the kitchen with me following along behind trying not to look utterly bewildered. Even the way he rifled through the contents of my fridge sent little shivers of excitement up my spine. Though it could have been because the freezer door was open. That always made me shiver. After a minute or so, Cole had produced a squishy blue ring, which he had given to the baby who stuck it in his mouth and begun to suck on it. The crying had ceased, enabling Cole to administer a dose of baby paracetamol, which he’d gotten from Mrs Tanner and somehow managed to clear with Alice on his way to my place.

I watched the entire episode with what must have been a look of stunned admiration on my face. “I wondered what that thing was. I thought it was some kind of toy.”

Cole had shaken his head in dismay.

Back in the lounge, Cole had rocked and cooed at Ethan until he settled. He was like a baby whisperer the way he’d done it. The only other male I’d seen behaving in such a paternal fashion was Jed and though I thought it was sweet when he did it, Cole’s fatherly touch definitely tugged at my heart strings. Images of babies, wedding dresses and big sandstone houses on the edge of town drifted into my head.

“I suppose we should get the little fella into bed before his parents get back. He must be knackered from the crying,” Cole said, after a bit.

“Um, yeah.”

I got up from the couch and led the way to the spare room where Cole settled Ethan for the night. The baby wasn’t the only one who was knackered. This parenting business was very exhausting. I switched off the light and left the door ajar in case Ethan stirred.

“Phew. I’m glad that’s over. I had no idea what I was doing before. Thanks again for helping.” I leant against the wall for a second, my ear tuned to the soft rhythmical sound of Ethan’s breathing.

Leaning forward, Cole pressed his body into mine. His arms wound around to cup my bottom and he gave me a cheeky grin that made a different sort of shiver run down my spine. “Anytime. Now, how about that kiss you owe me?”

*****

Alice and Jed arrived home to find Cole and I snuggled on the couch and the TV playing the second season of Game of Thrones. Naked women cavorted across the screen in front of us and on the coffee table, a bottle of red wine stood empty beside two bowls that had clearly held ice cream. I might not have been able to cook to save myself but I was a demon at making a banana split — and my new low fat version had met with Cole’s approval. So much so, he’d had two helpings.

“Well, isn’t this a cosy sight,” Alice remarked, flopping onto the opposite sofa and patting the space beside her for Jed who’d sat close. Very close, indeed.

I eyed the couple across the coffee table. Something was definitely up. Alice was smiling so hard her face had to be hurting and Jed looked like the proverbial cat who’d got the cream or a good seeing to, at least. I pushed myself upright. “Have you two made up?”

Linking her arm through Jed’s, Alice placed a tender kiss on her husband’s nose before answering. “Why didn’t you tell me I was acting like an idiot? Running about town in a trench coat and packing suitcases. It’s a wonder I wasn’t committed.”

I had been concerned for her sanity at one point. And I hadn’t been the only one. After Alice had been spotted lurking behind a stop sign wearing an Afro wig as a disguise — a remnant from a seventies costume party — there had been distressed murmurs in the shops up and down the main street. The fact that she’d taken to wearing ten centimetre heels and popping into the bank at random times of the day hadn’t helped either.

“Mrs Tanner was a little worried. The words ‘marital psychosis’ were being bandied around in the supermarket earlier today. She questioned whether or not you might require medication.”

“Great. I’ll never live it down, will I?”

“I’m pretty sure nobody noticed you skulking near the newsagent last week,” Cole said. “Not too sure about that wig the other day, though. You looked like Groucho Marx.” Clearly he was finding the whole episode very amusing.

“Or you were doing research for that Cheaters show,” I added.

“Okay. Enough taking the piss you two. I get the fact that I’ve behaved like a dick.”

“I’m gathering you’re in possession of a full set of facts now?” I asked.

Jed cuddled Alice closer. “It took a couple of slow dances before Al grasped the idea.”

“Jed’s been having ballroom dancing lessons as a surprise for our anniversary. The woman who rang the house was his instructor, Vicki, checking if she’d gotten her days mixed up because he was meant to be having a lesson and hadn’t arrived.”

“For real?”

Everyone in Merrifield knew Jed was as uncoordinated as polar bear on ice skates and how he truly abhorred dancing. It had been like car crash TV witnessing Alice and Jed’s first dance as a married couple. He’d shuffled and clomped his way around the dance floor, out of time with the music. He’d trodden on Alice’s gown and they’d both ended up sitting on Great Aunt Muriel’s knee. Alice had been so mortified she’d wanted to sink into the wedding cake. I’d been mortified for her.

“He’s been learning to waltz and we even did a salsa. Can you believe it? It’s like I have my own personal Channing Tatum.” Alice was obviously enamoured with the gesture and had completely forgotten that she wanted to fry Jed’s nether regions in a pan of hot oil.

“Uh, don’t think so, babe,” Jed replied. “It was a gift for you. Don’t expect me to get up and start any of that hip-hop stuff. The blokes at the cricket club would laugh their heads off.”

“I hope you captured it on video,” I said. “There’s a lot of people in this town who wouldn’t believe you know how to do anything more intricate than the Chicken Dance.”

“You think I’d let anyone forget this?” Jed replied. “I reckon I’ve earned enough brownie points to last me until at least the next decade and after the torture I’ve gone through, I wasn’t gonna to let it be forgotten in a hurry. I’ve got a copy preserved for posterity, or if Al decides to get into me about my lack of dancing or sensitivity in the future. Jim did the honours. He’s got this new mini recorder and he wanted to break it in before his holiday to Brazil.”

I hadn’t even known Jim was going to Brazil.

Alice turned to Cole. “How’s Ethan? Did the paracetamol do the trick?”

“As we suspected, it was teething. I sorted it though. He’s tucked up for the night. Sleeping like a baby, excuse the pun.”

“Thanks ever so much. I don’t know what we’d have done without you.”

I wanted to feel affronted that the babysitting rug had been pulled from under me but how could I? Cole was entitled to take the credit. I’d been as useful as flippers on an elephant. “Ah, excuse me. I helped. I held the bottle of medicine. In fact, now he’s sleeping, why don’t you two head off home and continue your romantic evening without him? You can pick him up first thing.”

Alice bit her lip. “You mean like a sleep over?”

“Exactly. A bit of alone time will be good for you. I’m sure I can cope for the rest of the evening. Besides, it’s nearly Sunday. I don’t have to work tomorrow.”

“Will you be involved in this sleep over Cole?”

Now there was a thought I hadn’t considered.

Cole rubbed his hand along my thigh. “I most definitely will. If Olivia makes me a bed on the couch, that is.”

Ha. As if I’d be doing that.

*****

“Tell me about Phoebe,” I said.

It was 3am. Neither Cole nor I had had a wink of sleep since Alice and Jed had collected Ethan earlier in the day. It was like time had stopped the moment we discovered we were allowed to like each other. I wasn’t tired. I was running on sex-filled adrenalin. And it was way better than cake. In fact, I hadn’t even thought about cake or slice or anything sweet for almost twenty-four hours. If Cole was the catalyst for that, he was a keeper.