Thin Ice (14 page)

“Thanks. He enjoys it and that’s really all that matters. I always made sure he didn’t do it just because my dad wanted him too.”

Kissing her again once more, I tell her I’m going to shower and change and I’ll meet her out in the lobby.

Fifteen minutes later I walk out of the locker room and into the lobby but I don’t see Elli anywhere. Then I hear her. I turn and see the back of her long brown hair right outside the doors to the rink, arguing with her dad. Suddenly Dom is behind me and says “Wait here. I’ll go.”

The hell I will. I follow Dom outside and once we’re out, Elli’s tears are the first thing I see. They stop arguing as soon as they see us and Dom tells his dad he needs help with his stuff and they head to the team bus. I grab Elli’s hand and walk her to my jeep. Once I throw my gear in, I wrap her in my arms, on the opposite side of the car where no one can see us. She’s the first to speak. “Dylan, what did he say to you on the ice?”

“It doesn’t matter. Are you ok?”

“Can you take me home? I really don’t want to be here right now.”

“Of course. Can I stay tonight?”

“Yea, I think I need you too.”

When we get to her place and open the door, Tegan comes out and her smile quickly turns to a frown as she asks Elli what’s wrong.

“It’s nothing. I’m just tired,” she replies.

Without another word she walks back to her room and I share a knowing look with Tegan. I follow Elli into her room and find she’s in her bathroom with the door closed. My heart rate speeds up as I call her name through the door.

“Elli?”

“I’m just getting changed. I’ll be out in a second.”

True to her word, she comes out of the bathroom and walks straight to me. Relief floods over me and I sit her on my lap and we let silence take over. When she wants to talk about it she will. I kiss her forehead and we crawl into bed as I hold her close. She’s passes out within minutes and I follow suit.  

Elli

I’m sitting on my balcony sketching as Dylan sleeps in my bed. The sun is just coming up and there’s a chill in the air along with a slight breeze so I’m wearing my yoga pants and Dylan’s hockey sweatshirt. I don’t care what anyone says, Florida gets cold in the winter, especially if the sun isn’t up. I try to lose myself in graphite, but all I can think about is what my dad said to me outside the rink yesterday. How I need to lose more weight if I want to keep a guy like Dylan around. Then he said I shouldn’t even be thinking about guys and should just be concentrating on school.

‘Schools your main priority! You’re not here to mess around!’

I don’t even know why I let him get to me. I know he’s wrong but at the same time he’s right. I just don’t know anymore. Last night while I was changing into my pajamas, I looked at my toothbrush for a little while thinking of it’s other uses besides cleaning my teeth. If Dylan wasn’t outside the door waiting for me, I would have ruined all the progress that I’ve made. Everything I’ve been working for would have went down the drain, literally.

Just then, the sliding glass door to the balcony opens and Tegan steps out. She has two cups of tea in her hand and I’m immediately grateful.

“Morning sunshine! Whatchya drawing?”

I take my
Mauraders
 
Map mug that says ‘I solemnly swear I’m up to no good’ on one side and ‘Mischief Managed’ on the other. I take a long sip as she grabs my sketchbook from where I have it set on my knees and her eyes go wide.

“Elli, this is incredible. Have you showed him?”

“Not yet. I wanted to wait till it’s finished.”

“It looks finished to me!”

“I still have a few things I want to add and fix.”

She gives it back to me and we sit there watching the sun come up.

“What happened yesterday?”

I knew this was coming. “My dad. I just let him get to me and I know he said something to Dylan about how he shouldn’t be with me. Probably how I should be focusing on school and working out. I mean he might be right but..”

“The hell he is.”

I turn around and see Dylan leaning against the door with his arms crossed. He crosses the short distance from the door to my seat and pulls me up from where I’m sitting. He holds my hands and looks me straight in the eyes. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to his grey eyes.

“Listen to me Elli. Don’t let your dad get into your head. There is no ounce of truth in his words and I’ll be damned if he messes up any of the progress you’ve made. There is no one else I’d rather be with than you. Okay?”

“He’s right Elli. Don’t let him ruin everything. You’ve come so far.” Tegan says.

“You guys don’t understand. He’s my dad.”

“I don’t care if he’s the King of England. This is your life, and you have to do what you want.” Dylan says this as he continues to hold me. It’s then I realize what day it is. I pull back and acknowledge both of these people who I don’t deserve, but am extremely thankful for. “Happy Thanksgiving guys.” Laughing, we all sit down, me on Dylan’s lap and Tegan next to us as we watch the rest of the sun come up. Then Dylan notices my sketchbook and grabs it before I can object.

“Hey! I’m not done!”

He’s quiet for a few seconds and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. When he finally looks back at me and smiles, I know he likes it. “For someone who thinks Jensen Ackles is better looking than me, I’d say you’re a liar.”

“I thought we established you
’
r
e
 the most handsome man ever?”

“You’re right we did.”

Scoffing, Tegan sarcastically mumbles “Ughh you guys are sickening.” However, the smile on her face tells me otherwise.

That has us all laughing and then Dylan continues “Seriously Elli this is amazing. Can I keep it?”

“Sure, when I finish.”

“What is there left to finish?”

“There’s a few more details I want to add.”

“Like where?”

I take out the picture I’m drawing from out from the back of my sketchbook and hand it to him.

“You took this? When?”

“Right before you blocked that shot with 5 seconds left in the third. You guys were tied and if it weren’t for you they would have scored cause your goalie was pulled.”

“And then we went into double overtime and Anderson scored right out of a faceoff.” He kisses me then, and that’s when Tegan gets up and yells over her shoulder, “That’s it. I’m going to make breakfast.”

As Dylan and I lay there on the balcony, I forget all about my dad and his comments as I let Dylan’s steady heartbeat calm any worries that have plagued my mind since last night.

After breakfast, Dylan heads home to get ready for Thanksgiving dinner tonight. I told him we can spend it with his parents but he insisted we spend it with my family and the team. Dom is looking forward to spending time with us before he leaves, and my sister needs another girl at the table. Well, she’s getting two, because my mom invited Tegan as well. I would never leave Tegan alone, and my best friend found out last minute her flight home was canceled.

“Tegan, what am I going to wear?”

“Elli, why don’t we ever plan these things out? We need to go shopping! Like ASAP!”

“Nothing is open today! It’s Thanksgiving!”

“Nonsense! All stores are open, getting ready for Black Friday. Throw some sweats on and lets run to the mall!”

“Oh joy. Are you sure there’s nothing in my closet I can wear?”

“I’ll be in the car!”

Well, I guess that’s a no.

“Tegan! I can’t wear this!”

“Why not? You look hot!”

“First of all, it’s Thanksgiving dinner with my family and my brothers adolescent hockey team! Not a freaking night out at a strip club! And second, it’s a one shoulder dress and I can’t wear anything without a bra!”

         “Elli it’s a one shouldered little black dress. Hardly a dress you would wear to a strip club. But fine. Try on the other dresses I picked out for you, while I figure out how in the world this dress is supposed to go on.”

I look through the mound of dresses Tegan picked out for me and find something wrong with each one. Too short, too small, won’t fit my chest, shows too much arm, won’t zip past my belly button. I give up. This is why I don’t wear dresses.

“I’m going out to look for more. I’ll be right back.”

“And I’ll still be figuring out which hole my head goes in. Gahhhhh!”

 I walk back into the store and start going through the racks again. Too dressy, not dressy enough, too bright, funeral dress, shows too much. Have I mentioned I hate shopping? After about five minutes of walking around, I see a dress that would be absolutely perfect. Too bad something like that would never look good on me. It’s black, and the sleeves are flowy and go down to the elbow. The neck line and the sleeves are all black lace. The torso and skirt part are solid black and there’s an inch of lace at the bottom of the skirt that makes the dress length end right at the knee. I go over to it and feel the material. It’s extremely soft and flowy. I know this dress would never fit, but feeling adventurous and not wanting to go back to Tegan empty handed, I grab the dress and head back towards the fitting room.

“Tegan?”

“Elli! I’m stuck!”

“What do you mean you’re stuck?”

“This zipper is trying to eat me!”

That has me cracking up and I go into the dressing room I was in before. As I listen to Tegan struggling, I take off my pants and my top. Before I put the dress on, I look at my body for a few seconds.

I’m sick of hating myself.

I’m sick of feeling sick.

I’m sick of fighting myself.

If I was completely honest with myself, I’d say I’m not even that bad. Can I lose some weight? Definitely. But there’s worse things I could be, right?

I trace my fingers over the stretch marks on my chest and follow the contours down my sides, over my bras and down to my hip. There’s only a faint mark on my waist, and it’s not noticeable unless you know to look there. But of course I know to look there. I know every last inch of what’s wrong with me. After the surgery for my chest, I know the stretch marks will still be there and I’ll have some scars to go with it, but surprisingly I don’t mind it. I’ve always been fascinated with scars. They tell stories, and my scars will be quite a story to tell.

I take the dress off the hanger and slip it on over my head. It goes straight over my body and it’s not too tight. I make sure everything is on the right way before I look in the mirror and my heart skips a beat. Not only does it fit, but it actually looks good. It’s the perfect length, it covers my arms and it hugs me in all the right places. Dylan was right. I am curvy, and once I get my chest done, I’ll be more proportional. But for now, my three bras will have to do the trick.

“Tegan?”

“THAT’S IT! This dress is the devil and I want to watch it burn!”

“Tegan can you stop
planning the death
 of a dress for a second and tell me what you think of this?”

“Yea give me
a
 sec. I’m throwing on another dress.”

I step out of the dressing room and wait for her to open her door. When she finally appears she’s wearing a black dress with white polka dots.  With her fiery red hair, it’s absolutely perfect.

“Tegan you look..”

“ELLI I LOVE THAT DRESS. OH MY GOSH YOU LOOK AMAZING.”

“My dress?! Your dress is perfect!”

“Elli spin around! Let me see it from all sides! You totally rock the lace sleeves. I wish I saw this dress! I would have stole it! You best believe I’m borrowing it though!”

“Yea right like this would fit you! It’d be way too big!”

“Shut up! It would totally fit me! And that’s not my main focus right now. You look amazing in that dress Elli. Seriously, Dylan is going to die when he sees you!”

I look back in the mirror and envision Dylan standing next to me. Could I look like I actually belong with him?

“Elli, it’s perfect, you’re beautiful, Dylan is going to love it, and we have to hit the shoe department before the store closes! Go change, come on!”

“Okay
,
 okay
,
 I’m going!”

After picking out a pair of black booties with a bow on the side that give me about two extra inches, we buy our new outfits and head home. I jump in the shower, do my hair and put on a little bit of makeup to enhance my eyes behind my glasses. When my dress is on, I decide to throw on a pair of black stockings, and put my heels on. A knock at the door pulls me out of my focus on getting ready and then my heart starts to beat a little faster, in a good way. I’m actually excited. I head to the door and when I open it, Dylan is standing there in black dress pants, and a navy blue button up. His hair is spiked up, and even though I love his messy locks that he sometimes hides with that beanie, I have to admit, this boy cleans up well.

For a second we just stand there and take each other in. Then he breaks the silence as his arms come around me and his lips cover mine. I could stay like this forever. I don’t even want to go to dinner tonight. I’d much rather stay here with him.