Things Could Be Worse (3 page)

‘I don't know how Esther manages with that Michelle,' said Josl Bensky to Renia. ‘This morning Max came to pick me up. He had Michelle in the car. She jumped into the front seat. I said to her: “Excuse me, I am going to sit in the front seat.” She said to me: “No, I am. It is my car, not your car.” Is that a nice way to behave?'

‘You know, Josl, I feel sorry for Michelle,' said Renia. ‘She was dragged away from a family who loved her. I hear Esther doesn't even let her write to them. So what, so they were Catholic? She was happy. Is it such an important thing to be Jewish? Look at all the people who died because they were Jewish. Why is it so wonderful to be Jewish? And what sort of a Jew is Esther Borg? Josl, what sort of a Jew is she? Does she go to synagogue? Does she observe even the holiest of holy days? Of course not. So this poor child got dragged from a good family to come and live a Jewish life. Is it such a good life, Josl, that it is better for her?'

* * *

Michelle left school at fifteen. She had completed grade five.

‘I did my best,' Esther Borg wailed. ‘The child wouldn't do her projects. What could I do?'

Max Borg got Michelle a job in the Baumes' grocery shop. Michelle worked there with Mrs Baume and her son, Shmul. Mr Baume worked in a factory. Baume's was the first kosher grocer shop in Melbourne. Michelle weighed and served pickles and herrings. She sliced sausages and packed breads and bottled oil. Sometimes women left their children with Michelle while they went next door to the butcher's.

‘Michelle is a wonder with children,' Mrs Baume told everybody, ‘and she is a wonder in the shop. I don't know how we managed without her.'

Michelle talked to the customers and she talked to Shmul. She talked to Shmul every day. And Shmul listened. On the eve of Michelle's sixteenth birthday, Shmul asked Michelle to marry him.

‘I need this like I need a hole in the head,' Esther Borg said to Max when Shmul asked for Michelle's hand in marriage. ‘What for does she want to marry a religious boy? Is this what she came to a modern country to do? To be a religious fanatic? Thank you, no.'

But Max Borg gave the couple his blessing. ‘He is a good boy, Esther, and he will be a good husband to Michelle,' said Max.

On their wedding night, Michelle said to Shmul, ‘Shmul, maybe if we are very lucky we will have twins.'

‘Maybe we will have two sets of twins,' said Shmul.

‘You know, Renia, Michelle won't eat at my house any more,' said Esther. ‘That's what I needed, a religious maniac. She goes to synagogue, she keeps a kosher house. My God, she even wears a shaytl, with such beautiful hair, she wears a wig. I said to her last week: “Come on, just take one piece of klops home.” She wouldn't. What did I need this for? Soon she won't even have a glass of water in my house. And with that shaytl on she looks like she lives in a village in Poland. I should have been able to see what was happening between her and that Shmul.'

‘What you should be able to see, Esther my darling cousin,' said Renia, ‘is that Michelle looks happy.'

‘Happy, happy, what does Renia Bensky know about happy?' Esther said to Max that night.

‘Esther darling, if Michelle won't eat with us maybe you could cook at her house and then everything will be kosher and we can eat there with them?' said Max.

‘I have got a shocking headache from being with Renia Bensky, so please leave me in peace,' said Esther.

A year after the wedding, Esther saw Mr Herbert outside the school. ‘Hello, hello,' she called to him. ‘I would just like to tell you, Herr Professor, that my Michelle has done very well. She has found herself a beautiful husband. He is good to her like gold. And any minute now we are going to be grandparents. And let me tell you, Herr Professor, that she has done all of this without your help. She has done all of this without the projects about the mighty merino or the death of the dinosaur. Yes, Herr Professor, my Michelle has done very well and she has done it all by herself.'

An Illness

Lola Bensky looked at her mother fussing around her younger sister, Lina. Lina had been born with one leg shorter than the other. So what, thought Lola. All it meant was that she limped. But her mother seemed to think it meant Lina's life was in danger.

Mrs Bensky was sitting on Lina's bed. ‘Lina darling, it's time to get out of bed and get ready for school. Sit up and drink your orange juice, darling.'

Lola grimaced. She didn't think Lina was a darling.

Lola didn't feel like going to school today. Bruce Matthews had been bothering her in class. Although he was in grade six, he was six feet tall. He had moved into the desk behind Lola. He stuck rude signs on her back, and he looked menacing.

Mrs Bensky was still fussing around Lina. ‘Watch her carefully on the way to school, Lola,' she said. ‘She can't go without a cardigan.'

‘I don't feel well, Mum,' said Lola.

Mrs Bensky looked startled. Lola never got sick. ‘You'll feel better after you have something to eat. Your breakfast is on the table,' she said.

Lola knew she would have to try harder if she wanted to stay at home today. ‘I feel too sick to eat,' she said.

Mrs Bensky stopped buttoning Lina's cardigan. ‘What is wrong with you?' she asked Lola.

‘I've got a stomach ache,' Lola said.

Mrs Bensky did look worried now, thought Lola. And no wonder. Lola was always eating. She ate everything that Mrs Bensky fed her and more. She ate so much that Mrs Bensky had to keep all her biscuits, cakes and chocolates locked in the kitchen cupboard.

But Lola knew where the key was. She was an expert at biting off both ends of the walnut horseshoes until they formed smaller horseshoes. She licked the middle of plump, chocolate-filled macaroons, and left them marginally slimmer. She could pick the sultanas and poppyseed out of the strudel and leave it looking untouched.

‘Have a nice piece of cantaloupe, darling. A piece of fresh cantaloupe will make you feel better,' said Mrs Bensky.

This is not working, thought Lola. Maybe Mrs Bensky knew she was lying? Mrs Bensky always said that mothers and policemen could read the truth in children's eyes. Lola kept her eyes averted.

‘I think I'm going to vomit,' she said. Nothing happened. Mrs Bensky didn't move. Lola opened her mouth, clutched her stomach, and screamed. Lina started crying. Mrs Bensky rushed to comfort Lina. ‘Get into bed, Lola,' she said.

When Lina had calmed down, Mrs Bensky came and sat on Lola's bed. She took Lola's temperature. ‘You haven't got a temperature, darling,' she said. ‘Maybe it was something that you ate that is giving you the upset stomach? I will take Lina to school and if you are still not feeling well when I come back I will ring Dr Stone.'

Lola was happy. She would spend the day in bed, reading. Mrs Bensky got ready to leave with Lina. Every now and then Lola let out a small groan or a loud whine. Lola felt pleased with herself. Mrs Bensky was starting to look really worried. Lola remembered that there were some fresh almond slices in the cake cupboard. This was going to be a good day.

Mrs Bensky and Lina finally left. Lola leapt out of bed and ran into the kitchen. She had a good fifteen minutes before Mrs Bensky returned. She grabbed three slices of honey cake, which she had neatly sheared off the sides of larger slices. She took half of a wedge of cheesecake, and boy, was she in luck, there were loose scorched almonds. Her mother would never miss a few handfuls, thought Lola.

Lola hopped back into bed. She ate quickly. That breakfast would have to do her until three o'clock when Mrs Bensky went to pick up Lina.

Lola was swallowing the last scorched almond when Mrs Bensky arrived back.

‘Darling, you look a bit red and hot. Where is the pain?' she asked. Lola pointed to the lower part of her stomach.

‘Is it still as bad as it was this morning?' said Mrs Bensky.

‘It's worse,' said Lola.

‘I think I will call Dr Stone,' said Mrs Bensky.

Lola liked Dr Stone. She often chatted to him while he pressed tongue depressants down Lina's throat.

‘Dr Stone will be here as soon as he has finished in the surgery,' said Mrs Bensky. She tucked Lola into her bed. ‘Are you sure you don't want some cantaloupe?' she said.

‘No thanks,' said Lola.

‘What about an orange juice, freshly squeezed?'

‘No thanks, Mum,' said Lola.

Mrs Bensky started to clean the house. Lola settled down with a book under the sheets. From time to time she remembered to moan.

Dr Stone arrived just after lunchtime. Lola had refused to eat any lunch. She was starving. It hadn't been easy to say no to lunch. Mrs Bensky had offered her some apple compote, and some chicken soup with rice. Lola loved chicken soup with rice.

Mrs Bensky had looked very distressed when Lola said no to the chicken soup. Lola started to feel guilty about her mother. Had she taken things too far by refusing the chicken soup?

Dr Stone poked and prodded Lola. He told her to lift her right leg and then to bend it as close to her chest as she could. He asked her to pinpoint the pain in each of these positions. Lola was smart. She was consistent about which part of her stomach hurt most.

When Dr Stone finished, Lola smiled at him, but he wasn't smiling. Dr Stone and Mrs Bensky went into the kitchen. Lola could hear them talking. She was a bit hungry, but on the whole things were working out quite well, she thought. Maybe she would even get to spend another day in bed.

Dr Stone and Mrs Bensky came back into Lola's bedroom. ‘Well, my girl,' said Dr Stone, ‘I think you have got appendicitis.' Lola felt proud. She looked up at Dr Stone as he continued, ‘It seems to be in quite an advanced state. I think we might take you to hospital now.'

Now? Hospital? Lola felt faint. Then she felt sick. Dr Stone helped her to the toilet. She had violent diarrhoea. Dr Stone helped her back to bed. He rang for an ambulance.

Mrs Bensky was weeping. ‘Oy, my Lolala, my poor Lolala.'

‘I'm going to vomit,' said Lola. Mrs Bensky rushed for a bowl. Lola vomited and vomited.

Lola was still shaking in the ambulance. The ambulance men were very nice. One of them held her hand all the way to St Andrew's Hospital. ‘Get a move on,' he shouted to the driver. ‘She's in bad shape.'

The nurses were also sympathetic. ‘Poor kid, have you eaten anything today?' said a nurse.

‘No,' cried Lola.

‘Good,' said the nurse. ‘Give her a wash,' she said to another nurse, ‘and we'll prep her.'

Prep her? What was that? Lola felt sicker and sicker. Her heart raced and she couldn't stop crying. What had happened?

Mr Bensky came rushing in to see his daughter before they wheeled her away. ‘Don't worry, darling, you will feel so much better after the operation. My poor darling, you look so terrible. Mum is worried out of her mind. Just remember you will feel much better afterwards,' he said. ‘I love you, darling,' he added. Tears ran down Mr Bensky's face as he waved goodbye to Lola.

Afterwards, Lola felt awful. Her throat hurt. She had a horrible ache in her stomach, and her mouth tasted terrible. She wove in and out of a nightmare in which a young nurse kept telling her it was all over and she was fine.

Later, Dr Stone came to see her. ‘You have been a very brave girl, Lola,' he said. ‘The appendix didn't look too bad. It looked fine actually, but you can never be too safe in these cases. You have got a cut right down the middle of your tummy. We thought we should have a good look around, but all is well in there.'

Lola looked up at him. She knew that he hadn't told her parents and never would.

‘Don't worry, you'll be out of hospital in two weeks and we'll get you some ice-cream for that sore throat,' said Dr Stone.

Mr and Mrs Bensky and Lina came to visit Lola. They looked at her solemnly.

‘I heard you have got twenty-two stitches,' Mr Bensky said to Lola.

‘We are so proud of you, darling,' said Mrs Bensky. ‘Acute appendicitis and she didn't even complain!' Mrs Bensky added to a passing nurse.

Lola tried to listen to
Take It From Here
on the radio, but it hurt her too much when she laughed. The kids in Lola's class sent her a big box of chocolates, but she wasn't hungry.

Dr Stone smiled reassuringly as he took Lola's stitches out. ‘Well, you're right as rain now. Don't carry anything too heavy for at least two weeks, and be careful going up and down stairs. You can go home tomorrow,' he said.

Lola went back to school on the first day that Dr Stone thought she was well enough.

In later years, Lola envied people who got bronchitis or chickenpox or ingrown toenails. Anything that wasn't really serious. Lola had trouble even catching a cold.

A Drive

She always called him ‘ma Motl'. They only had each other. He called her ‘ma Nusia'. They were the same size. Both short and round.

Nusia and Motl lived two doors from the Benskys. Every summer, on the Australia Day weekend, the Benskys took Nusia and Motl to Lorne for four days.

On the drives to Lorne, Nusia used to wear a pair of underpants on her head. To protect her hair. Lola and Lina had to stuff hankies in their mouths to stop their giggling.

Josl Bensky drove like a maniac. He had a need to overtake everyone else on the road. Lola's job was to look out for the police. She had to take this seriously, as it was her fault each time he was booked for speeding.

Lola and Lina would glimpse the expressions on people's faces as they caught sight of Nusia with her pink silk underpants flapping in the wind. The pain of the sisters' suppressed laughter was agony.

Every now and then Renia Bensky would turn around and glare at the girls. Before the trip she would tell the girls, yet again, what good people Nusia and Motl were. ‘Look, so they don't have money. They've got big hearts, bigger hearts than all the ones with big money. And they're poor people, they haven't got children.'

This last poignant note never really rang true to the girls, as having children hadn't seemed to make their mother's life much happier.

All the Benskys' friends had come to this country fresh from Auschwitz or Dachau, or if they had been lucky, a couple of years buried in a bunker. But once here they had made it. They had nice houses, nice cars, big factories that were big business. They built flats that destroyed half of St Kilda and defaced the bayside beauty of Beaconsfield Parade.

Their kids weren't much good. Even Renia Bensky, although she tried to deny it, could see that. So what were Nusia and Motl missing?

Motl sat with his arm around Nusia, next to the girls in the back. They kept smiling. They were enjoying the trip, too. Nusia repeated the same stories of Lola's childhood. ‘Remember, Motl, when she was a little girl? She would answer the phone: “Hello, this is little Lola. I'll talk to you.” '

Josl, momentarily distracted from his goal of being first in line on the road, would launch into a diatribe about how nothing had changed, how much business he lost because no-one could get through to him on the phone at night. He would rant about the hours that Lola spent talking to girlfriends who, God help him, she'd only just left, after probably having talked to them at school all day. Renia, who didn't like most of Lola's friends, nodded in approval.

This distraction usually occurred on the Great Ocean Road, which curves and bends sharply alongside a drop of 500 feet to the sea. Every Christmas a car goes over the cliff.

Nusia and Motl smiled warmly. ‘It's nice to be a good talker.' Nusia linked arms with Lola. The love flowed from her.

Nusia had the longest, most beautiful nails. They shone like dark red porcelain. Just as they arrived at the Lorne Hotel, Nusia would adjust the underpants with an elegant movement of the hands, smooth Motl's collar and sit back with an air of expectant excitement.

Every year the girls thought that she would take the underpants off before walking into the foyer. They prayed that she would take them off.

The front driveway of the hotel was full of people unpacking. They walked back and forth carrying fishing equipment, surfboards, rubber dinghies, beach mats, table-tennis bats, fly-spray and suntan lotions.

Lola and Lina looked at each other. It was one of their rare shared moments. Would she take them off? God, what if there were any boys watching? Could they stay in the car and find their rooms later? Would Renia miraculously understand and save them? How could they not hurt Motl's and Nusia's feelings?

Lina developed delayed car-sickness. Being sick worked miracles in the Bensky family; Lina was allowed to lie wanly on the back seat. Nusia looked at Lola. Through the ribboned pink lace frills, Lola could see the perfectly set blonde waves. ‘Oy, Motl, such a sweet face she has. I baked such a lovely apple cake, no sugar, plenty of apples. Darling, carry it carefully.'

Lola carried the cake. Nusia and Motl walked either side of her.

‘You know, darling,' Nusia said loudly, ‘I've got a little piece of beautiful cheesecake in the bottom of the box. Mummy won't mind. It doesn't hurt to have one piece. Too thin doesn't look nice. Look at that one in her shorts. Looks like her mother doesn't feed her.'

Lola and Nusia and Motl stood in the queue checking in. Lola smoothed down her new gingham dress, held her stomach in and tried for her most sophisticated expression. Motl put his arm around Lola. ‘Such a sweet girl.'

Nusia sighed in reply: ‘Oy, ma Motl, what a lovely holiday we're going to have.'