Authors: Elizabeth Butts
I nodded.
He raised his eyebrows at me.
“I’m sorry, was that a yes?”
He started to withdraw the ring.
“YES!”
The ring was slid onto my finger, after getting a little stuck on my middle knuckle.
Chris stood up, tears in his eyes that matched mine.
He pulled me into a kiss, bending me backward like in a vintage romantic movie.
“I love you, Christopher Smyth.”
“Love you back, future Karyn Smyth.”
I grinned and settled back in the car, admiring my new bling the way only a newly engaged woman could appreciate. I took out my phone and snapped a picture of my hand with my new sparkly.
Before I could get to sending it, I saw that I had a text message from Jenkins. Odd. Hadn’t heard from him in a long ass time.
I tapped on the icon.
Jensen, are you done playing with the little freebie paper? We have an opening for you, but you have to start next week. It’s time for you to come back and get your life back on track.
I looked at my ring.
I looked at the job offer, then at the offer of forever.
Ring.
Text.
Husband?
Career?
Boston or Wareham?
Would I stay or would I go?
I
was late leaving the house to go to the café where Alex, Leah, Ashley and I met every single Saturday. Seriously, it was a standing date that nothing was allowed to come ahead of. It was pretty much a blood oath. No man, illness, weather delay or sexually transmitted disease were to stand between us and Saturday morning coffee.
So the fact that I had absolutely zero sleep last night because of being offered my old job back up in Boston was not an excuse to skip out. I rushed to get ready, splashing water on my face in the bathroom before walking out in hopes of looking well rested, fresh and dewy, or some crap.
I did
not
want to look like I’d had absolutely no sleep whatsoever because I was tossing and turning over the decision that had been thrown in my lap. I felt like the world’s biggest asshole because I was even thinking about it. It should have been such an easy decision. I mean, I did this once before, why was I thinking about going?
I loved Chris. I meant I love Chris. Present tense.
This shouldn’t be a question.
Then again, what if I took the job and commuted?
I mentally shook myself. I knew what the job entailed. I would end up having to get an apartment either in the city or very close, with the number of hours and late night stories I’d have to cover.
So, why didn’t I tell Chris?
Why did I hide this?
I walked in the café and saw my friends, I automatically waved at Leah and Alex who were sitting there waiting.
“OH MY GOD.”
Simultaneous girl squeals assaulted my ears.
I guess they may have noticed the teensy tiny rock on my left hand.
“Lemme see, lemme see.”
Alex went and got a little grabby with me, pulling half of my body with my hand across the table.
“Girl, it must nice to have the most eligible bachelor in town. I mean, dayum, that rock casts some rainbows.”
She indicated the side of the restaurant where, sure enough, the sunlight hit my new ring and was sending rainbows across the small café walls.
Yikes.
“Aren’t you excited? I mean, you’re not exactly as bouncy as newly engaged women are.”
Leah looked over at me with concern.
“Of course I am, I mean, it’s just such a crazy bad timing situation with everything Ashley’s going through and all.”
Whew. Good save.
“Yikes, didn’t think about that. Maybe we shouldn’t tell her, she was pretty upset with us yesterday.”
“Dude, you burned her shoes.”
So, here’s the thing. In our efforts to get our friend out of her rut, we were coming up with these crazy, I don’t know, dares. Things that were not her normal activity. Ashley was such a fun chick, but she had totally become Ms. Homebody since dating Craig. And she was definitely giving her book boyfriends more attention than her real boyfriend.
Our first ‘mission’ was to adopt a pet. So she went to the shelter and adopted a cat, well, sort of. She kind of got kicked out of the shelter for saying she basically needed the crazy cat lady starter kit and demanding about ten cats.
No, she was not drunk.
Some lady out front offered her this black and white cat named Penny. When they got home, Ashley was shocked at how much of a chunky monkey Penny was. Turns out she was just a single mom-to-be. While we were there, the cat popped out three kittens. On Ash’s shoes. Her ugly ass blue nun shoes.
Alex laughed at the memory.
“Yeah, that maybe was kind of mean of me, but seriously, the look on her face was priceless.”
I threw a napkin at her.
“You are hateful.”
“Hey, ladies.”
Ashley scooted in next to me and I quickly hid my hand under the table.
“Oh, hey, Ash.”
Suddenly my coffee mug was the most interesting thing in the world. My Lord, I was an ass. Here I was, newly engaged, and all upset because I was offered a job that meant I might have to make a choice, and she was maybe no longer part of an ‘us’.
“Um, is everything okay? Do I have something in my teeth? What’s going on?”
I looked around the room in a panic, pleading with someone to please divert the attention, act normal, something.
“Nothing, everything’s fine, Ash.”
Alex did
not
have a future as an actress. Judging by the color of red Ash’s face turned and the shade of murder in her eyes, she didn’t buy it.
“Seriously guys, you’re freaking me out. You shut up as soon as I come near the table, and you all are
never
quiet. You won’t look me in the eye. What. The. Hell.”
I looked up to see Alex and Leah giving me the ‘well?’ look. You know, tilted head, raised eyebrows.
I sighed.
I put my left hand up on the table next to her and looked her in the eyes.
For a split second, heartbreak.
Oh man, that killed me seeing that level of hurt and sadness go through my friend’s eyes. But then she took a deep breath and threw her arms around me, squealing with the same amount of happiness that Leah and Alex had displayed earlier.
“Seriously, are you okay with this? I know the timing kind of sucks.”
“I’m pissed that you didn’t think I could handle it and that I wouldn’t be thrilled for you. There’s just one thing you’d just better know right now.”
She paused, and I won’t lie, I flinched a bit.
“I hope you know I expect to be in the wedding in whatever ugly ass dress you have picked out.”
Whew.
Seriously, that was a huge relief. Even though I wasn’t initially worried about that, when I thought of everything my friend was going through, I realized the timing was kind of awful.
“Do you have a date planned?”
“Um, we were sort of thinking about October tenth.”
“Holy hell, it’s already May. Are you knocked up or something?”
What the…?
“Jeez, NO, I can’t believe that you went
there
right off the bat. No, not pregnant. But neither of us is getting any younger and we do want kids. I think two. So once the ‘I dos’ happen, I can promise we are going to be having the best time ever making some beautiful babies.”
I couldn’t help but think back and remember that I had said almost the same thing to Lynnie. God, I missed her so much sometimes.
Leah suggested that considering there was pretty much no time to waste in getting the planning going into high gear, we should probably spend the rest of the day dress shopping.
“We should make sure that we let them know to give a little extra room in the mid-section, you know, just in case.”
“Wait, I don’t get it. Why just in case?”
I was really confused on this one.
“In case you are pregnant and are planning on passing off a ten pound newborn as a preemie.”
“Shut your mouth. Ten pounds? Are you trying to kill me?”
We linked arms and walked out of the café, and all of us piled into my car.
“Guys, can we pick mom up? I think she should be a part of this wedding dress shopping business.”
“Hell, yeah. Let’s go get mom.”
I sat in the car for a few moments and texted my mom that we were on our way, to be ready outside.
I looked at my phone and saw the message from Jenkins last night.
Then I looked around my car at the girls surrounding me and sharing in my happiness.
In that moment, I made my decision.
Yeah, I really didn’t love the lack of activity in Wareham, but at the same time, there’s not a murder to report on every day. I have my tribe here. I had my mom here. I had the love of my life here.
Decision made.
Thanks, but no thanks, Jenkins. Seems like the little freebies have a lot more to offer than Boston, after all.
Later that night, I lay in bed listening to Chris softly snoring next to me. He would claim that I was just hearing myself snore, that it wasn’t him. Meanwhile, I was pretty sure that the settlement cracks in the walls of the old house we’d bought were partially from the rumbling that came out of his nasal passages.
I held up my hand and looked at the perfect stone perched there.
This little stone held so much promise. It spoke of forever. It said we would have kids one day, possibly within a year. I started counting out months on my fingers. October, November… Well, okay, maybe not within a year, unless we got started sooner rather than later.
How would I feel about being a pregnant bride? I guess I didn’t care, and if someone had a problem with it, well, perhaps they should look inside themselves to figure out why it bothered them so much.
I would be turning twenty nine in a few weeks and Chris was fifty. Oh my God, that meant if we got busy and had our two kids now, he would be in his late sixties when the kid graduated from high school. Yikes. I hadn’t really thought of that.
But if we waited, he would be even older.
I looked over at my nightstand. On top was a plastic, folded over wallet style thing that held my birth control pills. I wondered how long it would take. I mean, I kind of always knew I wanted kids, but had never thought much about the fact that there could be timing concerns.
I was getting married in just under five months.
I was pretty sure that you didn’t really start showing until three months.
I turned back and looked at Chris, who’d flipped to his side in bed and stopped trying to shake the house down with his God awful snoring. The left side of his face was all smushed up with the pillow, and his lashes lay on his cheek, making him look like the little boy that he once was.
Damn, he was cute.
How would he feel about getting started sooner rather than later? I couldn’t help but wonder.
So many questions.
I finally fell asleep, dreaming of a little girl and a little boy, being raised together in a while picket house by a neurotic mommy and a daddy who had silver streaks in his hair.
“
H
appy birthday!”
I jumped back, surprised by the group of people in my home.
“Happy birthday, beautiful.”
Chris wrapped his arms around me and dipped me backward for a kiss in front of my friends and my mom.
Swoon.
There was laughter, cheers, catcalls, wolf whistles… you name it. Apparently, this group didn’t mind over the top public displays of affection.
“Get a room.”
And, that was my mom.
Ew.
I broke the kiss and leaned around Chris to look at her.
“I have a whole bunch of them upstairs, but that would be rude to leave my own surprise party.”
She laughed and walked forward with her arms opening for a hug.
Wow, this was a pretty awesome way to walk into my house. A backward dipped kiss and a mom hug. I wonder if it would be possible to arrange this for every day.
“Hey bitch, congrats on entering the last year of your twenties.”
“Uh, thanks, Alex. I think.”
She hugged me and slapped my ass. Hard.
“Ow.”
I rubbed my butt cheek to try to ease the sting a bit.
“Girl, you’re going to have to toughen the skin back there a bit if you’re ever going to be fifty shades of freaky.”
“What?”
“You’ll see. I’m telling you, those books will change your world. I give them a five vibrator rating.”
“Alex, you need help. Something is seriously wrong with you. Either that or Nick just isn’t cutting it and if so, maybe you could talk him into some sort of couples sex therapy retreat in the woods where you learn to breathe each other in, or some sick shit like that.”
“I’m doing the job just fine, Kar. But thank you for being the only woman in the world who has been strong and not read those books. I swear I lost Alex those three weeks she was reading them.”
Nick gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I grabbed his butt and smiled sweetly at Alex.
She flipped me off.
I just laughed at her.
Poor Nick walked away muttering something I couldn’t quite make out. I did hear the word ‘crazy’ in there at least once.
“So, did he manage to surprise you?”
Ashley stood there with her arm tightly wrapped around Craig’s waist. Since they’d gotten back together last month, she’d barely let him out of her sight. I guess absence can really make the heart grow fonder. They’d even been talking about moving in together, they were just working out the details.
I was so happy for them, they really were a cool couple, and that meant our group date nights were back to where they should be.
“Totally. I mean, how the hell would I have ever guessed that this many people would be willing to party on a Thursday night?”
“No kidding, I’m going to have to stay away from the alcoholic section if I want to function tomorrow at work.”
I walked further into the house, looking to see if Leah was there. I figured she might not be able to come, because of classes at the gym, but was surprised to find her in a quiet corner looking to be deep in conversation with the guy she was seeing, Mark.
I just stood there and watched them.
“So, what do you think?”
While I was being a creeper watching my friend and her guy, my other friends had joined me.
“Think?”
“About Leah and Mark as a couple?”
I tilted my head and watched them. Leah looked so cautious, like she was afraid to go all in. But her body language said she was interested. I had a feeling her eyes were screaming ‘throw me on the floor and have your dirty way with me’.
“I think it’s good.”
“Any idea why she’s so cautious and closed off?”
I looked to both of my friends and they both shook their heads ‘no’ slowly.
Huh.
At that moment Leah reached behind herself while talking to Mark as if she was going to scratch her back or something, and she gave us the middle finger.
We scurried away giggling like little girls who got caught with their fingers in the cookie jar.
Busted.
I walked around, mingled, and small talked my way through the night.
It ended up being kind of a hybrid birthday party and engagement party, with all the congratulations and showing off of the ring.
By the time the last guest left, I was exhausted. I looked around the house and saw how much cleanup needed to be done and almost cried.
Chris must have seen the look on my face because he quickly walked over and wrapped me in a hug.
“Honey, I’m going to take care of all of this, you can go upstairs and enjoy a nice, long bubble bath or go straight to bed.”
“You very well might be the perfect man, Chris.”
And I totally meant it.
“Just don’t forget that when I’m old and gray and starting to drool and forget shit.”
I touched the side of his head where his hair had already begun its transition.
He slapped my hand away.
“Wiseass, I take it back. You can clean up.”
“Hell, no.”
I ran up the stairs laughing and grabbed my Kindle as I walked through the bedroom to the master bath where my big, oversized tub was calling my name.
I filled the tub with hot water and some Epson salt to help detox my body and smooth my skin. I added a few drops of lavender oil, both because I really liked it and it was supposed to be good for relaxation.
For a second, I stopped and thought about all this. What would the college kid who lived off of Chinese food and adrenaline think of this adult version of herself worrying about detox and relaxation?
I shook my head. No reason to get stuck in the past. That was a bad place for my head to go.
I ripped my clothes off and tossed them in the vicinity of the hamper, not really caring if they made it there or not.
I groaned as I sunk chin deep into the warm water and closed my eyes.
Who cared what eighteen year old me thought. This version of me thought this was the perfect ending to a birthday, relaxing in a tub instead of trying to pull an all-nighter.
“Good day?”
Keeping my eyes closed, I just grinned.
“Great day.”
I heard Chris walk around and sit on the toilet that was next to the tub.
I jumped a little as his hands gently touched my shoulders. I was still a little nervous when people came up behind me, although I was definitely getting better.
His hands started massaging my shoulders, working out the knots of tension that had a tendency to form there.
Oh.
My.
God.
I would never tell him this, but that moment was better than any sexual trick he performed in the bedroom. I had to believe other women would agree, that an unsolicited massage from their man, while they were soaking in a tub, was better than a fifteen second orgasm.
It would kill his ego, though, so nope, wouldn’t tell him.
“You just might be a keeper.”
He laughed softly and reached for my hand that wore his promise. He kissed the top of my hand and laid it back in the water.
“I am thrilled that I’ve finally convinced you.”
“We’re getting married.”
“Yup, we sure are.”
I thought about that in the silence for a bit.
“Are you nervous at all?”
He didn’t answer right away, so I cracked an eye open to look at him. He had stopped moving and looked like he was thinking.
Hmm.
Wasn’t sure what I thought about him needing that much time to think about being nervous or not.
“I’m not
nervous
. I’m… hopeful. I really want to be a good husband to you, but am worried that I’ll let you down. That someday I’ll accidentally hurt your feelings, or make you sad or something. I never want that to happen. I just want you to be happy, and I want to be the person who makes you happy.”
Wow. He could take all the time he wanted answering me if he would keep coming up with answers like that.
“Chris, you will be a perfect husband. I’m not saying you’re perfect, but you’re perfect for me. We’re both going to make mistakes at times. We will both unintentionally hurt the other at times. But as long as we work at this, we’ll have an awesome marriage.”
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.
“Happy birthday, baby.”
***
“Jensen, what the hell is this?”
Uh-oh.
Bill walks over to me and throws my latest article down on the desk.
“Um, that looks like an article, chief.”
I looked down and cringed at the red marks that covered the page. Bill had even written ‘WTF’ in the margin at one point.
“Did you even
attempt
to read it before you sent that to me?”
I thought for a second.
“Actually, I don’t think I did.”
“No shit. I would never have guessed. Do me a favor, don’t ever send me something without reading it first. I don’t know where the hell your mind is these days, but it’s not here. And we’re paying your mind to be here.”
Ouch.
“I’m sorry, okay. It’s the first time this has happened. I’ve got a lot on my mind, and I’m just stressed about the wedding.”
“I get that, and I understand. But seriously, your work has been slipping. On your review of the town meeting last week you actually wrote ‘dear God, please kill me now’ in the article. If I didn’t review your work, it would have gone out and made a mockery of this paper.”
Eek. Yeah, not one of my finest moments, but seriously, town meetings were the
worst
. I could probably write the same article for each and every meeting.
Commissioner Sanchez held the floor for fifteen minutes to discuss the benefit to the town in finally repairing the Elm Street Bridge by the Tremont Nail building. The funds are not in the budget for repairs and it remains closed after two years. Local business owners complained about a drastic loss in business and the stark reality that they may be forced to close their doors. Town resident John Parillo spoke against using town funds, stating that there should be grants to apply for or federal dollars, that this is a safety concern but not a critical matter for the town.
I quickly scanned what I had submitted and cringed.
“Oh, man. I am so sorry, Bill. You know I’m better than this.”
He sighed, and flopped down into his chair, running his hand through his thinning hair.
“I know, Jensen. And I know that I overwork you and expect a lot from you. Sometimes I wonder if we need to get another writer in here, but we just don’t have the revenue to support another salary. As it is, I have to borrow from another town for when you’re on your honeymoon.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll do better. No to the other reporter, because I’m too much of a Leo to share the glory with someone else. You know that. And I’ll work extra leading up to the week off so that you have plenty in the can. All you’ll need to do is cover anything urgent.”
We both looked at each other and started laughing.
Urgent.
Yeah, right.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry that I had to go all ‘boss’ on you. But everyone needs a kick in the ass every once in a while. What’s on the plate for today?”
“The Savings and Loan has brought in a new bank president, so I’ll be interviewing him. My friend’s gym has an open house coming up, I don’t think I’ll get over there today, but maybe tomorrow. I want to interview Sanchez about his idea to have a referendum vote for an extra property tax to try to repair that bridge on Elm Street. Going to interview the business owners and some residents to get their thoughts, too.
Bill nodded along with my ideas.
“Oh, and this one woman submitted twelve pets for our ‘Best Friends of Onset’ piece.
Twelve
. Not sure if she’s a hoarder or something, but she’s getting a ton of hits on our Facebook page. Her older lab, Buddy, currently has a crazy lead over everyone else. I’m trying to reach out to her to see if I could do a feature on her and her husband for the ‘Best Friends’ issue. I just hope that I’m not walking into a situation where there is cat and dog poop everywhere. I mean, the pictures seem like they are well cared for.”
Bill laughed at me, he knew I liked animals a lot, but that I liked to put up a bit of a jaded front when dealing with people I was interviewing. It helped me separate myself from the story a bit and write a more unbiased article.
The truth was, I was super excited to see this chick’s pets. She even had a horse. That spoke to my inner twelve year old girl. I mean, seriously, what little girl didn’t want a pony growing up.
“Sounds good. I probably won’t see you for a couple of days, then. Let’s meet up here on Tuesday and decide on order and layout.”