This Christmas (2 page)

I feel his hesitation and want to ask him why, but he let’s go of me and starts to rifle through his dresser. He pulls out a shirt and lifts it over his head, hiding his amazing chest. He opens the bedroom door and leaves me standing in his room by myself.

Lately I’ve been getting the sense that we’re moving backwards in our relationship. I hardly thought bringing it up in front of Becky was the time to deal with it. I have three weeks off from school and I don’t intend to waste them.

I leave the room and hear Will moving around the kitchen. Becky is sitting up on the couch now, watching TV, but the walls are thin. She probably heard everything.

I sit on the arm of the couch. “It’s nice to meet you,” I say awkwardly.

Her legs are covered by a blanket and propped on the coffee table. She grins up at me. “Sorry about the secrecy.” She pats the cushion next to her and I slide into the indicated spot. “I don’t have many girl friends. I wanted to impress you.” She laughs to herself but quickly sobers. “I hope I didn’t cause an argument,” she says in a low voice.

I glance at the kitchen where Will is pulling ingredients and pans out to make breakfast. Ever since he started working at the restaurant he picked up a few tricks. I hope he’s making the same buttermilk pancakes he made the last time I stayed over.

I shake my head and face the television. “It’s nothing.” Nothing but the same old silent argument we’ve been having. Probably the same reason I jumped to conclusions about Becky’s presence in the apartment.

She nudges me in the arm. “Will’s nuts about you.” She flicks her eyes in the direction of the kitchen then back to me. “I think I might have an idea.” She rifles through the blankets, looking for something. I attempt to help her as she frantically pulls all the blankets away. I scoot over as she releases a quilt from under me. Her hands disappear between the cushions and she comes up empty handed.

“Can I help you?” I ask just as she finds her phone and brandishes it between us.

She unlocks the screen and her finger moves like lightning over the smooth surface. She smiles broadly and shows me the screen. I take the phone and pinch the photo to get a closer look at the picturesque rustic cabin staring back at me. It’s surrounded by at least a foot of snow, making it look like a Christmas paradise.

“My grandfather built it and we used to spend winter and summer vacations there.” Her voice is nostalgic, but regret weaves its way through her words. “It’s the perfect place for a Christmas getaway. You and Will should go.”

I look up from the screen into her big brown eyes.

“Are you serious?”

She shrugs. “Mom—Will’s mom always hated it up there. And I haven’t been since my dad got sick.” She smiles sadly, twisting her fingers in her hair.

I reach out my hand to her, wanting to comfort her in any way. But I stop myself. I have no idea what it’s like to lose a parent and I barely know her. My hand drops to the couch. “You should come with us.”

She furrows her brow as if I suggested she rent an apartment on the moon. “You two need it more than I do.”

I think of all the plans I had for Christmas in the City… but maybe, without distractions, Will and I will have the chance to reconnect.

Will enters the living room with two cups of coffee, handing one to each of us. “Getting to know each other?”

Becky widens her eyes as if I’m the one who offered the cabin. She’s making this my decision.

“Um, Will,” I start weakly. “Becky said we can use her dad’s cabin for Christmas. As a little getaway. For me and you.” Why am I so nervous? He’s my boyfriend. I feel like I’m asking someone I barely know to prom. Wisps of insecurities bubble up in my stomach, making it churn. But along with reconnecting, what more perfect place for Christmas than a charming cabin? We won’t have to deal with Nathaniel or my roommate, who decided to stay at school for break. We could go for at least a week. Set our relationship back on track before heading into a more hectic semester with Will’s impending work and new school schedule.

Will cuts his eyes to me. “Is this what you want?”

I nod, the gears starting to work in my head. Rustic environment, snuggling by the fire, a live Christmas tree. It will be perfect. “Yes.” It’s just what we need.

Will cracks a grin and leans over, pressing a kiss to my head. “I did take next week off work. So we should be good to go.”

Becky claps her hands with glee and I can’t stop smiling.

This Christmas is going to be perfect.

***

I leave Will’s apartment after a few hours of hanging out with him and Becky. Will has one last shift before our mini vacation which leaves me plenty of time to pack.

I receive a text from Mom as I’m about to leave.
Packages just arrived. Merry Christmas!

My parents and Ethan were enjoying two weeks in Florida with my aunt and uncle. With finals, I wasn’t able to make it. I wasn’t too upset, anticipating time with Will, but it would be my first Christmas without my parents. At least we’d see each other before I went back to school

My heart soars. I’d planned on getting a small tree with Will for his apartment, but with the change in plans we’d be able to have a big live tree with colorful presents underneath.

I text Will.
Make sure you don’t unwrap presents from your family. Mom just sent mine over. We should wait until Christmas morning!

With a little more skip in my step I divert my route to the shipping center closest to Rockefeller, which I told Mom to send the gifts to. Another excuse to visit the tree!

I’m bursting with excitement and Lily’s face pops into my mind. I call my best friend and she picks up on the first ring.

“Are you done with finals?” she asks.

Between my grin and the temperature outside, my cheeks burn. “Yup.”

“Oh finally,” she breathes with relief. Her voice offers me the same relief. I can’t help but miss her. Even though we spend a majority of our days texting, I haven’t been as attentive since I was studying. “You do well?”

“I think so. But that’s not why I called.”

“What do you want?” she barks, but her voice is muffled.

I roll my eyes. “Are you at work?”

Something brushes over the microphone.

“Do you want me to call you back?” I ask.

“No,” she says. “It’s fine. Marcus is on his tenth break since he got here two hours ago. It’s only fair.”

I smile. Only Lily could see that as fair. And it helps that her boss, Marcus, has a huge crush on her. “Okay.” I explain to her about the cabin and between squeals of delight that make my ears ring—I can’t imagine what it does to the customers around her—my heart races with anticipation.

“It’s a good plan right?” I ask.

“It’s just what you need. During the summer it was easy working together at the camp and living next door. But you two have overcome a really rough couple of months in your relationship. Which is great. The couples I see around here break up all the time just because they don’t see each other for one day.” Someone yells something indistinct in the background but she carries on. “You do need time apart. But passing up this time alone together would be relationship suicide.”

I turn the corner and see the tree, admiring its splendor from a distance. “When did you get so wise?”

“I’m a natural observer. And somewhat of a male guru.”

I laugh.

“Make sure you give him loads of attention though. You know, the sexy kind.”

And there’s the Lily I know and love, but sometimes a little over the top. I look around me, my cheeks flushing as if someone had heard her. “Alright. Get back to work.”

“Text me with details!” she cries before I hang up.

Three Days Until Christmas

“And you carried these to your dorm yesterday?” Will asks, shoving the third box of presents into the elevator while I hold the door.

I smile sheepishly. “I had to make two trips. But I’m thinking of sending the taxi bill to Mom.”

Mom went a little over the top with the gifts this year, or maybe I never noticed before since I wasn’t the one carrying them to put under the tree from whatever hiding spot Mom and Dad chose each year.

Will stacks the last box and I tug my rolling suitcase behind me, allowing the doors to close behind us. His elbow rests on the top box and he stares up at the descending numbers at the top of the doors.

A yawn overcomes me and I struggle to keep it under my hand. Will glances at me.

“You can sleep on the drive up if you want. I thought we should hit the road sooner rather than later.”

I nod. I wanted to get an early start on our vacation as well.

The lobby of my apartment building is empty, so I don’t worry about holding up the elevator again. Will stacks the packages outside the elevator and I guard them while he makes the two trips out to the truck. I don’t feel as bad when he struggles as much as I did. It’s not like I asked Mom to send me all the gifts. I do feel a little guilty when I think of us dragging everything back when we come home, but that’s the fun of Christmas. Besides, what’s Christmas without presents under the tree?

I follow Will out of the building to his truck. He lifts the last two boxes into the bed and spreads them next to the others. I attempt to lift my suitcase but Will grabs it before I topple over.

“We’re only going for five days,” Will says.

“It’s cold,” I say and stick my tongue out at him. I find his backpack in the bed, but nothing else. “I told you to bring your gifts for the tree.”

He clears his throat and pulls me alongside him toward the passenger side of the truck. His eyes are on the oncoming traffic. “Mabel sent me a stocking.” He opens my door and I awkwardly climb in.

He gets into the car a few seconds later.

“That’s it?”

He puts on the directional and checks the street. “Yes, that’s it.”

I sit back in my seat. “Did your mom get you anything?”

He half-shrugs as he pulls out into the street. “No, Hadley. Can you start the directions on my phone?”

Heat prickles along my neck as I copy the address from Becky’s text to the navigation app on his phone. Here I am with four boxes of gifts and Will has barely anything. Well, besides the complete DVD box set of our favorite show, Judge & Jury, that I bought him. It seemed stupid now that he barely has anything else to open on Christmas morning.

I note the end of the conversation when he opens his hand for the phone. I give it to him and he hooks it into the stand suctioned to his dash. His eyes dart between the road and his phone before hard rock music blares through the speakers.

I don’t push the subject, but the uncomfortable prickle of embarrassment lingers on the surface of my skin.

I settle into my seat for a long three hour drive.

***

Will’s knuckles whiten over the steering wheel. “We should have left sooner.”

I look up from my e-reader, nearly done with the newest book in my favorite paranormal series. We’ve been at a slow crawl for the past hour and are barely out of the City.

He massages the back of his neck while his eyes narrow at the other cars.

I put the e-reader away and change the music off the hard rock station. That won’t help anyone’s mood. I flip through until I get to a holiday station playing an instrumental melody of ‘White Christmas’. I sit back in my seat and take Will’s free hand in mine.

He tilts his head to me.

“We haven’t been alone in a while,” I start with a sigh. “I don’t care if we ever get there, I’m fine with spending the whole time in this car with you.”

“What about a working toilet?”

I smile. “Humans survived many years in the woods.”

He taps my hand with his thumb. “Poison ivy…” he trails off as his eyes dip to my legs.

I grimace and take my hand away as he chuckles. “You know what I mean.”

The car inches forward. “I know. I just hate traffic.”

“What’s your dad and Mabel doing for Christmas?” I ask.

Will leans his head against the window, glaring laser beams at the cars in front of us. “It’s the first Christmas in some time that they’re together. I think they’re spending it with her Bridge group.” He chuckles. “Dad’s the only guy”

“Do you wish you went?” I ask, knowing he hasn’t had much time with his dad since he got out of rehab for his alcoholism and moved down to Texas with Mabel.

He shakes his head. “I talk to him almost every day and I promised to go down there in February.”

That was news to me. Regret pinches at my chest as I realize we really haven’t talked about him in a while.

The cars start another slow crawl. Will clamps both hands on the wheel and the truck lurches forward. Sometimes Will is still an enigma to me. Even though we worked through the secrets he hid from everyone for two years, I feel like it’s still a reflex for him. I tug at the hem of my shirt and settle into the seat. We just need to get to the cabin, then everything will be fine.

***

It’s not until we get off the island of Manhattan that the roads open up for us. Will takes quick advantage and kicks up the speed of the truck. I adjust my body until I’m comfortable in my seat again.

His attention is riveted on the road and I ponder bringing up his dad again. Or the fact that they didn’t buy much for him. The rational part of my brain protests. When Will came home this past summer, he didn’t have a lot of money. With his dad spending time in rehab this year, maybe they were being frugal? Or maybe they want to celebrate the holiday late in February? I want Will to relax but that won’t happen if I keep pushing him on the subject. I’ll have to do something extra special for him to make his Christmas as memorable as possible. I’ll have to be a little creative.

***

We reach the small town of Holton Village around noon. Even though it’s later than expected, Will’s mood changes considerably. I’m not sure if it’s better or worse. Instead of grumbling he is quiet and contemplative. Even when we stop at the local grocery store it’s impossible to get more than a few words out of him.

His only response to me asking him what he wanted was, “Whatever you want.”

I wonder if the long trip took a lot out of him, so I take the initiative and fill the cart with as much as I can think of us needing.