This Is So Not Happening (25 page)

“Yes, sir,” Will barked, like a soldier.

Kiss-ass. I couldn’t even remember what “animosity” meant. Let alone “manifest.”

“Good. Because if it does, you’ll both be suspended. This is your warning.” Dr. Giles stood up straight. “If I hear about one punch, one kick, one shove, you’re both out for a week. Understood?”

Right. That was clearer.

“Yes, sir,” Will said again.

“Yeah,” I muttered.

“Good. I’m glad we’re all on the same page.” He crossed over to the door, stepping over my backpack to get there, and yanked it open. “You can go now.”

I snatched my bag off the floor and walked out into the deserted hallway. Will was right behind me, but he speed-walked past me toward the caf, probably running back to Chloe.

“Watch your back, man,” I said under my breath.

He stopped in his tracks. I was surprised but kept walking. When I came up even with him, he turned to face me.

“What the hell is your problem?” he hissed.

“Seriously?” I blurted.

“Yes. Seriously. If anything
I
should hate
you
,” he shot back. My jaw dropped, but he kept right on talking. “I was going out with Chloe all summer and she cheated on me with you! Then you get to be there for her for months while she’s going through this stuff and I—”

“I
get
to be there with her?” I blurted, my face screwing up in disbelief. “Are you shitting me? You think that was fun?”

Will just stared at me. The silence, even five seconds of it, made me squirm.

“Because it wasn’t.”

My face was on fire. Because I was lying. I realized it just like that and it killed me. Dealing with Chloe and the baby, it hadn’t exactly been fun, but it had been kind of nice. Being there for her. Feeling like she needed me. Knowing there was going to be a kid who was a part of me. I’d felt … important. And now I was just the idiot who’d fallen for the biggest lie of all time. I was the jackass. I was the punch line.

And this guy, Will, was the father.

“Whatever, dude,” I said, shaking my head and turning away. “Like I said, she’s your problem now. Have fun.”

“I can’t decide whether I want the centerpieces to be colorful and eclectic or sleek and sophisticated.”

My mom had been making figure eights around the four round tables of floral arrangements for at least half an hour. She paused in front of a spherical silver pot filled with white roses, and a tall, clear vase bursting with wildflowers. We’d left school together as soon as the last bell rang to squeeze in this shopping trip before my basketball game tonight. The biggest game of the year in more ways than one. I should have been hyped up and nervous. Instead I was tired and dreading it. In fact, I was dreading everything.

“Colorful and eclectic,” I replied, leaning my hip against the table.

“You think?” she asked.

“Mom, this is you we’re talking about. Look at you.”

She glanced down at her outfit—floral peasant top in deep purples, paired with jeans and mustard suede boots—and laughed. “You make an excellent point.”

“I know.”

I shrugged and glanced around the greenhouse. Up front, the florist was behind the counter, working the phones feverishly as he fielded his last-minute Valentine’s Day orders. He’d run off ten minutes ago to deal, promising to be right back,
but we hadn’t seen him since. Now, just hearing him repeat people’s loving messages back to them made my heart hurt. After the way Jake had acted at school today, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be around him, let alone go out with him on the mushiest day of the year.

“Oh, and you can wear these gardenias in your hair!” my mother said, placing a pair of yellow flowers just behind my ear. “They’d be just the right pop of color with your black dress. And Jake could wear a matching tie!”

She shoved the gardenias into my hand, whipped out her notebook, and started making notes. I looked down at the blooms, twirling the stems between my thumb and forefinger until the color blurred. I wasn’t even sure that Jake was going to be coming to the wedding at this point. I mean, the thing was in May. Right now May seemed very far away.

“Ally?” my mom asked suddenly. “Are you okay?”

I blinked back my tears and tried to smile. “Yeah! I’m fine!”

“Sweetie, are you sure?” She put her hand on my shoulder. “You look like you’re about to cry.”

My heart welled up into my throat. I wanted to tell her what was going on. I so did. But she was so happy and excited. And this was the first time we’d gotten to do anything wedding related together without Quinn. I didn’t want to ruin it for her. If Jake and I broke up tomorrow … then I’d tell her about it tomorrow.

“I’m just happy for you,” I said, my voice thick.

You’d think I’d just told her I was going to be valedictorian, that’s how happy she looked. “Aw, Ally!”

She pulled me in for a hug, and I pressed my face into her shoulder, letting myself squeeze out a few tears. When she
pulled back again, I was smiling. The remainder of my inevitable breakdown was going to have to wait for a better time.

“I love you, kiddo,” she said as the florist finally appeared at the open doorway.

I tossed the gardenias onto the table and stood motionless while one of them tumbled to the dirt-covered floor. “I love you, too.”

Thirty seconds left in the first half. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck. My pulse pounded in my ears, muting the sounds of the crowd. The ball was in my hands. I looked left. I looked right. The Valley players were everywhere, blocking out my teammates, practically tackling them to the floor. I dribbled twice for good measure, stalling. What should I do? What the hell should I do? Take the shot from here? Take the ball to the net? Make the pass? What, what, what?

Twenty seconds left. My eyes darted around the gym. Coach screaming to make the play. The players from Rutgers on their feet. My mom, dad, and Gray, sitting together, cheering like crazy. Jake shouting his head off. It was too much. I had to focus. We needed a score to go into halftime up. We needed a score now.

Suddenly Shannen slipped away from her defender. I saw her long arm reach out toward the sideline. I looked away from her to the left, trying to fake out the girl guarding me, and tossed it to Shannen. The girl cursed under her breath as she lost her balance and her fingertips grazed the shiny wood floor. Shannen turned. Set up the shot. Let it fly.

“Go, Shannen!” I heard Chloe scream.

I hadn’t even realized she was here.

The buzzer sounded, and the ball swished through the net.

“Three points at the buzzer!” the announcer called out. “And the score at halftime: Orchard Hill, twenty-three; Valley, twenty-one.”

I ran over and gave Shannen a half hug as we joined the rest of the team by the bench. The Rutgers coach was on her feet along with my two soon-to-be-teammates, cheering for me. Our ball girl handed out Gatorade. I tried to catch my breath. Tried not to grin too hugely. The hordes emptied out down the bleachers and toward the door, going for the snack bar while the cheerleaders launched into their halftime routine. Chloe and Will were on the bottom bench. He whispered something to her and got up. Right then, just as Coach was saying something about stepping up the offense in the second half, Jake trudged down the bleachers and slammed Will’s shoulder from behind with the full force of his body.

No. No, no, no. Not now. Please not now.

And suddenly the entire world zipped into focus. Will whirled around and slammed his fist into Jake’s jaw. Chloe and I both screamed. Everyone scattered away from them like ripples from a tossed rock, moving up the bleachers, across, toward the door. Jake recovered and threw himself on top of Will, and then they were both on the floor, wailing on each other like rabid animals.

“Jake! Stop it!” I shouted, starting across the gym floor.

Blood, I wasn’t sure whose, splurted across the boards.

“Ally, don’t.”

Coach Prescott’s hand was on my shoulder.

“What?” I looked over at her, confused and terrified.

“They’re watching,” Coach said, giving a surreptitious nod toward the stands.

My throat went dry. I didn’t completely understand why it mattered that my college coach and teammates were eyeing me—what that had to do with the fact that my boyfriend was staging an impromptu wrestling meet as a halftime show—but I decided to trust Coach and didn’t move. Seconds later, I completely understood. Two uniformed cops descended on the mess of flailing arms and legs and fists and feet and tore Will and Jake apart. Blood seeped from a gash across the bridge of Jake’s nose. Will’s eye was already turning purple. I glanced up at the Rutgers coach and held my breath. If she’d seen me go over there, she would have drawn so many conclusions. Conclusions about who I was, whom I chose to spend my time with. Right now, Jake looked like a psychotic loser with a violent streak, ready to go postal at any moment. If I’d run to his side, she would have forever associated me with him.

Coach Prescott had just saved my ass.

“Thanks, Coach,” I said, my eyes filling with tears as the police hauled both Jake and Will outside through one of the side doors.

Shannen put her arm around my waist as we turned back toward the huddle.

“Holy shit,” Shannen said under her breath.

“Tell me about it.” I glanced back again. I couldn’t help it. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“Who cares?” Shannen said. “Screw him. This is the biggest game of your life and he pulls that crap? Don’t let it distract you.”

“As much as I don’t appreciate the language, Shannen’s
right,” Coach Prescott said. She looked around the circle, meeting everyone’s eyes solemnly. “As far as I’m concerned, that didn’t just happen. Everyone needs to stay focused. We can win this thing if we get them on their heels, but I need everyone’s heads in the game.” She looked me dead in the eye. “Nowhere else.”

The rest of the team turned to look at me, and my fingers curled into fists. In that moment, I hated Jake. I couldn’t help it. Shannen was right. He should have known this was a huge night for me. He should have thought about that for five seconds before making a spectacle of himself and distracting me. But no. It was far more important for him to mess with Will and Chloe yet again. And now I had my teammates doubting me, doubting my focus.

“Are you with us, Ryan?” Coach asked.

“I’m with you, Coach,” I said, clenching my jaw. “Let’s beat these losers.”

The team cheered and clapped, several of them slapping me on the back, and we got down to our game plan. From that moment on, Jake was no longer an issue. He wasn’t even on my radar.

When the doorbell rang that night, I half expected it to be Will, stopping by for round two. I trudged over to the door in my sweats and glanced out. It was Ally, freshly showered after the game. For the first time ever, I just wanted her to go away. Because just seeing her standing there made me feel like an asshole.

I opened the door. A light, freezing drizzle was coming down from the sky.

“Hey,” she said quietly. I’d never seen anyone look at me with that much hurt, pity, and anger.

“Hey.”

I released the door handle and started back across the foyer, turning my back to her. Not wanting to look in her eyes any longer than I had to. Figuring she’d follow.

“I don’t know if I’m coming in.”

I stopped. My heart shriveled. What the hell did that mean? Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. I set my jaw, resolving not to let her see me sweat. If she was going to end it, just let her end it.

“What does that mean?” I asked her.

She blinked and shuddered in the cold, pulling her jacket tighter. “Aren’t you even going to ask me if we won?”

“Did you win?” I asked, placing one hand on the doorknob and the other on the far side of the doorjamb, as if I was blocking her way.

“Yeah.” Her voice broke. “I scored the game-winner.”

“That’s great,” I said, my voice sour. “Aren’t you even gonna ask me if I’m okay? Because that jackass almost broke my arm.”

Ally titled her head. “Oh, did he?” she said sarcastically. “I’m so sorry for you. Poor, poor Jake. Almost got hurt in the fight
he
started.”

“Why are you being such a bitch?” I blurted.

Her jaw dropped, but I kept going. My defenses were up, and I was keeping them there.

“I’m the one who got hauled off by the police tonight,” I said, bringing a hand to my chest. “I’m the one who got suspended
for a week. I’m the one who almost had to get stitches thanks to that asshole.”

Ally scoffed and shook her head. “God! Do you even hear yourself? I may be a bitch sometimes, but at least I’m not a big, whining baby.”

She turned around and started to walk away, headed for her mom’s car, which she’d parked near the end of the driveway.

“I’m not a baby!” I shouted after her.

“Whatever, Jake,” she said, lifting a hand but not turning. “I’ll see you around.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

She paused at the driver’s side door. For a long second, she just stared at the window, the icy raindrops sticking to her hair. Then she popped the handle and looked up at me. All of a sudden I remembered what she’d looked like the first day I met her, right here in this driveway on a hot, sunny day. So fearless. So beautiful. So perfect.

“It means I’m done,” she said. “We’re over. I can’t take it anymore.”

“Take what?” I shouted, my voice harsh. I felt like she was yanking my heart out through my mouth. “What can’t you take anymore?”

“You! This! All the negativity and the cruelty and the violence!” she shouted back. “I keep waiting for you to get past it, for you to go back to being you … the sweet, thoughtful, and yeah, maybe sometimes dense, but also cool guy I fell in love with! But clearly that’s not going to happen.”

I clenched my jaw. “Yeah, well, maybe this
is
me,” I said, even though I knew it wasn’t. Even though I hated me right then almost as much as she did. But it wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t
stop feeling like this no matter what I did. I’d tried to stop feeling sad and angry every second of every day, but I just couldn’t.