This Weakness For You (Entangled Select Otherworld) (Taming the Pack) (7 page)

Did he want
her
? The bedhead. The scrawny body. The sarcasm and odd sense of humor. And the moments of weakness—not just from the MS, but this stupid insecurity. All of it was her, and he hadn’t really said much about that.

It was a scent-match. That he’d fought. Until she’d thrown shoes at him and tried to throw a twenty-five-thousand-dollar lamp.

Maybe he’d only wanted an easy score and for her not to throw his lamp.

No. It was more than that. It felt like more than that.

“Yeah. You can come, but you won’t be able to vote as his mate. Yeah, a vote. No, it’s for that. Yeah. Dane. No, I know it’s insane, but he’s the only other Alpha in the pack, even if he’s human. Besides, maybe he’ll decide it’s too much work to run the pack without me and won’t kill me over his sister.”

How quickly it all went from romantic “you’re my mate” to discussing her fertility and trying to hide her presence in his life from her brother. She’d wanted this, though—sort of. She could do without Jordan and Vanessa having some sort of history together and the discussion about her period.

She pulled her knees up to her chest. Who knew you had to draw lines like that?
Hey, how about we don’t just chat casually about whether I’m fertile or not with my sister-in-law…or anyone really? That’d be great. Thanks.

He hung up and came and sat down beside her. “I don’t have much time. I’ve got to pack. I’ll be down near Mount Rainier for a while.”

“How long?” She suspected Vanessa had asked that question, too, and gotten a vague answer, but maybe he’d give her more information…since they were mates. Being mates meant something. They could build on that. Mates probably meant close to “equal.”

“I don’t know.”

“Why are you going down there?” There’d been something about a murder—at least he’d tell her more about that. He’d mentioned some details to Vanessa—details Christa couldn’t understand out of context. At least now she’d know how worried to be.

“I’d rather not say.”

Or not.

He glanced at the clock again. “Can you come sit in my room while I pack? I’ve got to be in town for a meeting in less than an hour.”

“What about?”

“I probably shouldn’t tell you until you know more.”

“And when will that be?” She held up a hand. “No, I know. You don’t know. You can’t say. Secret society. Handshakes. I don’t know enough to get to know more. I’m glad I waited until you were done with your phone calls to get all my questions answered.”

“Christa, look, I can’t explain how it all works in the amount of time I have. I can explain more when I come back.”

“Well, at least you had time to discuss my fertility with my sister-in-law…so there’s that.”

He swallowed and put a hand on her arm. “Nessa was just worried about you because you can get pregnant during the entire year. Lycans only have a limited window.”

“Nessa?” She couldn’t hold back the annoyance there—not that she’d been doing a spectacular job, but really, a girl had her limits.

“Vanessa…sorry…we’ve known each other a while.”

Puzzle pieces dropped into place. “Vanessa is a Lycan.”

Jordan sighed. “Vanessa will have to confirm that.”

“And they scent-matched! That’s why suddenly my brother and her were…” She did hand-motions that even grossed her out, so she stopped. “But they scent-matched, didn’t they?”

“Vanessa will…”

She threw up her hands and shook her head. He’d told her nothing. Nothing she didn’t already know. This was the craphole of discussions with your supposed eternal mate. He was going to check out a murder surrounded by people she didn’t know, and they were having some sort of emergency meeting that included her own brother, but excluded her, but it would definitely include her sister-in-law whom he had this cute pet name for—which may be appropriate because she may or may not be a pet part of the time. Seriously! Nothing! He’d told her nothing. “I’m going to go let Lucifer in. I’m sure he’s done.”

“I can do it.”

“He’s my cat, and I’m not helpless.” The point was extremely pertinent because he was making her feel helpless. He was doing a more effective job pushing her away without even trying than he had earlier. She got to her feet and stomped over to the front door. At least she was feeling better today. Last night, she’d slept well with Jordan beside her. It looked like that might be it between them for a while, so hopefully, she slept just as well without him nearby. She opened the door…and waited…and waited. She could feel Jordan’s gaze on her—trying to judge her mood and how to react.

Hell, how should she be reacting? She thought they’d have at least today to figure out how they were going to be as a couple. Instead, they’d had like ten minutes and now everything was shifting and changing, and he was acting distant as if she was some stranger dropped into his life—which was so sadly accurate that it stung. She felt like she’d known him much longer and that their relationship was much deeper, but this discussion pretty much said he didn’t feel the same way.

She leaned against the doorway. It was going to be weird and unreal without him around—it was easy to believe in the supernatural when you fell asleep next to it, and every so often, there was the wolf in his eyes. Without him here, she’d be in this big house, by herself, wondering if everyone she knew was a wolf or if no one was and last night had all been one great hallucination.

She wasn’t even sure what sort of time frame they were looking at for him being gone…days, weeks, a month? Rainier wasn’t that far, but she probably shouldn’t drive that distance in the shape she was in. And he hadn’t exactly volunteered to come back and see her and check on her. How pathetic would it sound for her to ask?

Very.

He’d even said they’d talk when he got back. He might not even be planning on calling her, for however long this trip took. If he was a wolf the whole time, that’d make sense—there wasn’t exactly a spot for a cell phone in his fur, and phone calls would be fairly one-sided. But he was packing to go on this trip, so that implied he wouldn’t be a Lycan the whole time because, clearly, clothing wasn’t necessary in their furry state.

Maybe she could get updates through Vanessa.

She rubbed a hand through her hair. Yeah, great way to start out a relationship. It sounded like he was closer to her sister-in-law than her…he’d at least given Vanessa information.

Maybe this was all a mistake. She was hooking up with the king of the werewolves, for crying out loud. Well, not hooking up…she was house-sitting after a make-out session milder than Vanessa and Dane had in front of their immediate family. Though admittedly, that time with the laundry room and ironing board had been gross enough that she listened when they were around before turning corners. There’d never be
that
level of making out in front of people between Jordan and her.

Jordan and her—as if they were a couple. She sniffed and shook her head. She was his mate, and she was going to have to beg status updates from Vanessa. Maybe she should ask him to make sure she was informed if he died.
Pathetic
. Everything she knew was turned upside down, and she was lost and helpless in this new world where people grew fangs and fur.

How was a girl who couldn’t always stand on her own two feet going to hold her own in a pack where they hunted killers on four?

“C’mon, Lucifer,” she muttered. Standing in a cold doorway wasn’t her favorite way of spending the day.

Behind her, Jordan whistled softly.

Lucifer appeared a moment later and went right by her to rub up against Jordan’s legs.

And now she had less authority than she’d arrived with.

She slammed the door closed, walked back to the guest room, and slammed that door closed, too. Then she set the Tiffany lamp carefully on the floor outside the room and slammed the door again and locked it.

…

Well, that had gone poorly. Lucifer had picked a bad time to acknowledge him as Alpha in the house. And okay, he’d handled the whole discussion more like a leader than a mate. But he was still trying to wrap his brain around the fact that the new Rainier pack was dealing with poachers, and his mind was still planning and maneuvering on behalf of the pack. Plus, he wasn’t asked questions very often, and if he was, he never had to answer them if he didn’t care to. He was Alpha.

He pushed to his feet and stepped out into the hallway. The Tiffany lamp was outside the room—that must have been the second door slam. He picked up the lamp and moved it to the study.

Stopping by the locked door, he considered knocking. He even put his fist up, but then he dropped it. What was he going to say? This was what he was trying to explain when he outlined why they shouldn’t be together. Now there was the added possibility that Colby had been killed in his place—though that didn’t make sense. Anyone familiar with the packs would know the difference. Maybe it was Colby all along, and once again, his arrogance had made him assume things that’d resulted in someone’s death.

He should have notified Travis that someone was gunning for a black Lycan.

But it made so much more sense that it was him they were looking for.

He had to know if it was poachers. He had to see for himself that it wasn’t. That this was all just about Colby from the beginning. It’d mean another death on his hands, but at least his pack would be safe—and Travis’s pack wouldn’t be fighting off poachers.

The door swung open, and they both jumped back.

“Uhh, I was just…” He gestured at the hallway.

“I was going to…” She gestured at him.

They both stopped talking, waiting for the other…waiting
out
the other.

Finally, she sighed—and it made him feel like a jerk that she was the first to give. It was hard to break the patterns of deference and domination that he’d always enjoyed the upper hand in. “You’re going to track a murderer, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” He should have taken into account what she’d overheard when he didn’t answer her questions. He wasn’t accustomed to giving information that wasn’t necessary, in his opinion, to the person asking for it. And she was still too new to understand things—but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t speculate based on what she’d heard. So in that light, his answers even pissed him off.

“A murderer who kills Lycans?”

“Yes.” Well, that’s what Travis had suggested. It might be an isolated murder…an isolated murder he could have prevented. In that case, he’d almost prefer it to be poachers.

“Why do they kill Lycans?”

“Because…we are…what we are.” There was no way he’d explain why these poachers were killing Lycans—not when she was so new to his world. Grisly organ harvesting wasn’t a first-date conversation topic.

“What are the odds that he’ll kill you?”

“Odds?” He was one of the strongest Lycans out there, and he was an excellent tracker. And he’d be surrounded by weaker Lycans more likely to panic.

“Yes,” she ground out. “What are the odds that this is the last time I’ll see you alive? We’re in a relationship.” She gestured between them. “Or…something. Anyway, usually when you see your significant other off on a trip, you’re not concerned they’re going to die at the hands of a serial killer. And saying good-bye sucks enough on its own, but it would really suck if you left while I was frustrated with you, and then I heard you were dead.” She inhaled a shaky breath. “Someone would tell me if you were dead, right? Even if I don’t belong in your group?”

He pulled her into his arms. It felt like an instinct—this need to comfort and build up strength in the relationship between them.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her head against his chest.

“I’m the only Lycan who’s caught a poacher before—that’s who they think this is, a killer who preys on Lycans. Though, really, it was Nessa…Vanessa and Dane who lured him out, but I killed him…and took most of the credit because I’m Alpha. It might be something else at Rainier, but I need to see that. I need to know what they’re up against. I need to hunt it and track it and know. Last time, we were always on their tails”—he snorted a half laugh—“literally when it came to the Lycan with them, but we were guessing and responding rather than attacking. I mean to be on the offensive this time. I need that.” He sighed and rubbed a hand down the back of her head, stroking her hair. “I’m struggling to stop thinking as a Lycan Alpha and think as a man, much less a mate. In a crisis, the line will be more…obvious.”

She pressed herself closer.

“I’m new to relationships,” he admitted. It was strange to think—this was his first real relationship at thirty-two.

“I thought you’d had previous mates.”

Well, this was going to come off strange for a non-Lycan. “I’m expected to procreate for the continuance of our kind, and I’ve been an Alpha since I was twenty. So I’ve had relationships, as far as staying in their favor for when they went into heat once a year.”

“That is the weirdest thing ever. So you’re like a sperm donor.”

“Yes, well, clearly that’s different in our culture. It’s a drive to build up the strength of the pack.”

“So, you’d have these women…”

“Alpha females.”

“These alpha females—in like a harem?”

“No. There was only one alpha female at a time, and I was monogamous—like a marriage.” Only significantly less emotional than a marriage. He and Christa had already shared more of their feelings with each other than he had with all of the alpha females he’d been with.

“Until you got sick of them and then they were out?”

“No, I never ended it—I’d never intended on ending it. They always did.”

Christa cleared her throat. “So, you have kids with other women?”

“No.” No one had dared question his fertility, but it was unusual to make it to thirty-two without any offspring. “Not a single one…and since I haven’t mated recreationally, I’m sure of that.”

“How many?” She tipped back her head to look in his eyes. “How many alpha females have there been?”