Thorn in My Heart (28 page)

Jamie dismissed him with a word of thanks, then gathered his wits about him before setting out to find Rose. She'd spent a good deal of time sequestered in Leana's room since the debacle. Comforting her sister, no doubt. He would knock on their nearby door in passing, then
proceed through the house and gardens until he found her. Stepping into the upstairs hall, he was relieved to find it deserted. The servants had gleaned enough gossip for the day.

“Rose?” He knocked on her door, gendy at first, then with a firmer knuckle. No answer. He hurried down the stair, listening for her lilting voice. She was not at the hearth nor in the spence. The kitchen was a noisy din of servants cleaning up after the meal but no Rose among them. Neda caught his eye and inclined her head toward the gardens. He nodded his thanks, then headed out through the front door rather than soil his clothes going through the scullery.

It was a fine day, the colors bright and shimmering against the blue sky. Not that it would last; good weather in Scodand never did. Perhaps Rose was enjoying a walk in the countryside while the sun blessed Galloway with its warm presence. He strolled through the empty orchard and around the east side
of
the house, watching for the striped gown he'd seen her wearing earlier. He'd almost turned the corner of the house when he heard girlish laughter floating on the autumn air, coming from the direction of the rose garden. An ideal spot for wooing. His stride lengthened as he caught sight of the two sisters among the thorny stalks, surrounded by blooms once fresh, now bent and bruised, petals scattered to the winds.

“The two finest flowers in the garden,” Jamie announced, relieved to find them both free of tears, even smiling a bit after the ordeal. “Surely you aren't cutting roses for the hall table? They're long past their prime.” He watched their smiles fade and knew he'd said something wrong. “Or have you found one still blooming?”

“Two.” Leana held them aloft, a profusion of petals surrounded by dark, almost blue leaves. “See?”

He bent over to inspect them. Palest pink on the outside, the color deepened near the center where the stamen winked at him among the petals like a tiny green eye. A pleasant fragrance tickled his nose. “Lovely.” He straightened to look at his intended bride.
The right word.
“Lovely,” he said again, and her face quickly matched the blossom. He turned and winked at Leana. “What do you call this breed?”

“Breed?” Leana laughed. “They're roses, Jamie, not sheep. One plants them, prunes, them, feeds them—”

“And breeds them. Roses are hybrids, cultivated by…ah, breeders, aye?

Cousin Leana was now the color of the flower in question as well. “Aye, but we usually call them a
variety of rose.
Or a species. Or a type.”

He nodded, always willing to learn. “And the name of this variety?”

The sisters looked at each other, then burst into laughter while Leana managed to say, “Maidens Blush.”

“Ah.”

Leana patted her cheeks as though to cool them. “This species seldom blooms so late in the season, but these two surprised us.”

Jamie tipped his head, regarding them both. “Just as you two have certainly surprised me.”

“Really?” A sudden curiosity shone in Roses dark eyes. “What did Aunt Rowena tell you about us? We wrote her now and then over the years. Did she tell you what we might be like?”

He bit his lip, hoping the truth wouldn't offend. “She didn't often make mention of your family while I was growing up. And when… when it was necessary for me to leave, there wasn't time. I hastened away, knowing only that I would find two cousins at the end of my journey. One dark, one fair, both bonny. That was all I remembered.” His smile was genuine and meant to charm. “Believe me, it was enough. Enough to bring me nigh to fifty miles with litde food and no silver.”

“Are you glad you came?” Rose asked softly, locking gazes with him. “Was it…worth your journey?”

His heart swelled with longing, and his voice grew thick. “You know that it was.”

Jamie had almost forgotten that Leana was still standing there, holding two fragrant blooms on thorn-covered stems. He turned to her now, wanting to include her in some way. The wan expression on her face told him it was too late. “Might I take those inside for you?”

Leana thrust the roses into his hands, pricking his palms. “If you choose.” Grabbing her skirts, she was away at once, headed for the road.

Dumbfounded, Jamie watched her disappear from sight, then turned to discover Rose near tears.
Ochi
There was no accounting for women and their moods. “Rose, what is it? What have I done?”

“I'm sorry, Jamie.” She tugged a dainty handkerchief from her sleeve and patted her nose, then took a deep breath. “I can think of no other way to tell you except to say it: You have chosen the wrong woman.”

“I've
what?”
He threw the flowers to the ground and grabbed both her hands in his. “From the very first moment I saw you, Rose, I knew.
Knew
you were the woman the Almighty intends for me to marry.”

Her eyes were like windows with the curtains drawn.
“How
did you know?”

“I knew because…” How
did
he know? “Because of your beauty.”

She shook her head, clearly disappointed, and released his hands. “Beauty fades. Flowers are proof of it.”

“But your…” He searched for the right word. “Your
joy.
Your joy captured my heart. And your sheep…”

Her eyes widened. “You fell in love with my
sheep?’

“Nae! Not your sheep. They were impressive. Aye, they were that. But it was watching you with your sheep, your tender way with them— that's what struck me.”

She nodded, as though distracted for a moment, then lifted her chin to meet his gaze again. “What if I told you that I had…other plans?”

“Other plans?”
His patience snapped in two. “Since when, lass? You've said no such thing, not in all these days we've had together.”

“That's true, but…but every time you've hinted at
your
plans, I've tried my best to discourage you.”

“Oo aye!” He rolled his eyes. “That was a most discouraging kiss the Wednesday last.”

“But you kissed
me”

“And you kissed me back, lass.” He clasped her about the shoulders, pliant beneath his firm grip. “Or don't you know what it means to press your lips against a man's mouth?” He bent closer. “To warm beneath his touch?”

“Nae.” She swayed as he pulled her closer still. “I dont know.”

He kissed her hard, his teeth striking hers, his mouth making sure, making very sure she kissed him back.

When he lifted his face from hers, tears filled her eyes. Her lips, wet from his mouth, were trembling. “Jamie, I…”

“Rose, oh, Rose.” He pulled her against him in a loose embrace, not wanting to frighten her further. “Forgive my boldness, lass. A man needs to know how a woman feels about him. Words are…not our way of knowing.”

“I see.” She took a deep breath, then released it with a mournful sigh like wind through a pipe. “Jamie, you must listen to me.” She pushed him away, then stepped back, putting more distance between them. “My eyes and lips may tell you one thing, but my heart and head have decided quite another.”

“But—”

“Please, Jamie. Think.” Her expression was kind but resolute. “Have I said or done a single thing to mislead you?”

He glanced away from her, determined to think of something. Instead, images of Roses avoiding his gaze and shrinking from his touch rushed to mind. When he turned to look at her once more, he was forced to admit the truth. “Nae. You have not misled me. I have deceived myself.”

“I am sorry, Jamie.” She touched his arm, only for a moment, then dropped her hand. “I am too young. Marriage…frightens me. But there
is
one who cares for you.” She paused, as if he might guess before she spoke the words. “My sister.”

“Leana?”
Of course.
Other images came swiftly to mind. Meeting Leanas gaze when they first greeted each other. Strolling through the village with her to kirk. Smiling at Leana across the dinner table. Finding her in the orchard. Encounters that meant nothing to him but obviously spoke volumes to her.

“But Leana is my…cousin. Nothing more.” His shoulders sagged with the burden of his disappointment. “I care for her as I might my own sister, if I had a sister. She does not…well, she…”

“How do you
know?”
Rose persisted. “You've been so busy looking at me, you ve not considered Leana properly. You ve not kissed her, as you have me, nor laced your fingers through hers, nor felt the beat of her heart against yours. Jamie, she deserves a fine husband, and she cares for
you.
Cares very much, if you must know.”

“She does?”

“Aye, you can be sure of it. Her words to me were, ‘Jamie is everything Fergus McDougal is not/ ”

He snorted. “Och, that's an encouraging thought. ‘Not like Fergus’—now there's a hearty recommendation.”

“Don't you see? Now that Mr. McDougal is no longer her suitor, Leana is free to marry someone else. The sooner she does so, the better. And she very much hoped to marry you.”

“Marry…?” He groaned, watching his plans start to crumble like a handful of stale bannocks. “Am I to understand that you feel nothing for me?”

“Oh, Jamie.” She pinched her lips shut for a moment, as if holding something back. “I feel a great deal for you. But I love my sister more. Leana has been both mother and sister to me since the day I was born.” Her voice broke. “I long to see her happily wed, Jamie. Loved and appreciated for who she is. Don't you see? Your love would be a dream come true for Leana.”

“My dream was different, Rose.” He closed his eyes. It hurt too much to look at her. “My dream was you.”

The rose and thorn, joy and sorrow,
all mingle into one.

S
AADI,
S
HAIKH
M
USLIH AL
D
IN

D
aydreaming, are we?”

Rose stepped inside the cool, dark corner of the second floor where Leana's spinning wheel held court and planted herself on a wooden stool, trying to sense her sisters mood. After the unfortunate incident in the garden, the sisters had snipped at each other all evening, then shared their box bed in silence. “I couldn't find you after breakfast.”

Leana lifted her head but did not look at her. “This seemed a good place to hide.”

Och! And whom would you be hiding from?”

“You ken very well.” Leana began spinning again, her rhythm sure, her long, supple fingers well suited to spinning the wool and forming a smooth twist.

Rose glanced down at her own clumsy hands, good for carding the wool and little else. “I suppose I should do my carding this morning.”

“Aye, you should.” Leana paused in her spinning to unfold a freshly dried fleece for Rose. “Until dinner, if you don't mind. This afternoon I'm off to Troston Hill to help Jessie stitch a new gown for wee Annie.”

Rose was relieved to hear it. At least at Troston Hill Jamie wouldn't see her sister wearing those ugly spectacles. “Do hand me that wool, Leana, for it won't card itself.”

She spread the coarse, tangled wool across one prickly paddle, putting the shorn ends across the top. Then she pressed the second paddle on top of it and dragged the two in opposite directions, repeating the same step over and over. With each pull of the cards, the fibers expanded
and straightened until finally the wool rolled off in her hands in a neat whorl.

“Your turn.” She handed the soft bundle to Leana to spin, then began the process again with a fresh handful of wool. Carding and spinning, carding and spinning, the two sisters worked side by side. The rhythm of their labors was as familiar as an old tune from their school days in Newabbey. Rose sang the first line, and Leana halfheartedly joined in.

The lyrics always made Leana laugh. But not this time, although she smiled a bit. “Seven shirts in seven years?” Leana murmured. “I once sewed seven in a
week
when Father was bound for Edinburgh.”

“Aye,” Rose teased her gendy. “Those nimble fingers of yours are the envy of the parish. Doesn't Jamie wear the shirt you made him every chance he gets?”

They sang on and on, verse after verse, while Rose carded wool and Leana sat at the great wheel, drawing out the wool fibers with practiced hands, then guiding them into a slender twist of yarn, winding it endlessly around the bobbin.

“Its autumn,” Leana said wistftdly, “and the good knight came.”

Jamie.
“Soon, Leana, that good knight from Glentrool will claim you and give you a token of his love.”

“ ‘Tis a dream you speak of, Rose.”

“Nae, I'm sure of it. If you'd only seen how surprised he was, and pleasandy so, to learn of your growing attachment to him.”

“My…my
attachment?”
Leana nearly choked on the word. “Whatever did you tell him?”

“I said that you cared for him. Very much.”

“Rose!”

She shrugged, her cheeks warming. “It had to be said, Leana. When it comes to understanding a woman's heart, Jamie is as daft as a three-sided guinea and thick as a post.”

“That may well be. But what must he think, hearing such things from you when he obviously cares not one bittie for me.”

“Not true.” Rose yanked the two cards apart with a ladylike grunt. “When I told him you regarded him favorably, he raised those bonny eyebrows of his and said, ‘She does?’ ”

“He…said that?”

“Aye.” The look of fond desire on her sisters face gave Rose pause. Had she gone too far? Promised too much?
Nae.
Jamie would do as she'd asked.
And bed best hurry.
Rose patted her sister's knee with the flat side of her paddle. “If our cousin doesn't move quickly, another braw lad will come to court you, and then what would Jamie do?”