Thoroughly 03 - Who Invited the Dead Man?

“Light touches of humor and the charming interplay between MacLaren and her magistrate husband make this a fun read for mystery fans.”—
Library Journal

“Sparkling . . . witty . . . a real treat and as refreshing as a mint julep, a true Southern pleasure.”—
Romantic Times

“Sparkles with verve, charm, wit, and insight. I loved it.”

—Carolyn Hart

“Engaging . . . compelling . . . a delightful thriller.”

—
Peachtree Magazine

“The sort of light entertainment we could use more of in the hot summer days to come.”—
The Denver Post

“[Sprinkle] just keeps getting better.”

—
The Post & Courier
(Charleston, SC)

SIGNET
Published by New American Library, a division of
Penguin Putnam Inc., 375 Hudson Street,
New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.
Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand,
London WC2R 0RL, England
Penguin Books Australia Ltd, Ringwood,
Victoria, Australia
Penguin Books Canada Ltd, 10 Alcorn Avenue,
Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4V 3B2
Penguin Books (N.Z.) Ltd, 182-190 Wairau Road,
Auckland 10, New Zealand

Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices:
Harmondsworth, Middlesex, England

First published by Signet, an imprint of New American Library, a division of Penguin Putnam Inc.

First Printing, July 2002

eISBN : 978-1-101-08831-9

REGISTERED TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE AT QUANTITY DISCOUNTS WHEN USED TO PROMOTE PRODUCTS OR SERVICES. FOR INFORMATION PLEASE WRITE TO PREMIUM MARKETING DIVISION, PENGUIN PUTNAM INC., 375 HUDSON STREET, NEW YORK, NEW YORK 10014.

http://us.penguingroup.com

THANKS TO:

Robert Bremm, of Parrot Jungle, Miami, Florida, for his invaluable information about parrots, particularly scarlet macaws, and for giving me the chance to meet a parrot face-to-face.

Helen Rhea Stumbo, founder of Camellia and Main gift store and catalogue, who explained the fascinating world of catalogue merchandising.

Donna Van Lier, who frankly shared her own experience dealing with a husband with Traumatic Brain Injury, and steered me toward two excellent books:
Where Is the Mango Princess?
by Cathy Crimmins (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2000) and
Over My Head: A Doctor’s Own Story of Brain Injury from the Inside Looking Out
by Claudia L. Osborn (Kansas City: Andrews McMeel Publishing, 1998).

Dorothy Cowling, who proofread and suggested good changes in the book. Judge Curt St. Germaine, chief magistrate of Burke County, Georgia, and Judge Mildred Anne Palmer, Mac’s inspiration and consultant on being a Georgia magistrate.

The expertise in these fields is theirs; any errors in their fields are my own.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

MacLaren Yarbrough
: amateur sleuth, Georgia magistrate, co-owner of Yarbrough’s Feed, Seed and Nursery

Joe Riddley Yarbrough
: MacLaren’s husband, a former magistrate, co-owner of YFS&N

Clarinda Williams
: cook for MacLaren and Joe Riddley

Ridd
: the Yarbroughs’ older son, a high school math teacher and small farmer

Martha
: Ridd’s wife, an emergency room supervisor Cricket (3) and Bethany (16): their children

Walker
: the Yarbroughs’ younger son, an insurance salesman

Cindy
: his ornamental wife Tad (9) and Jessica (11): their children

Augusta Wainwright
: autocratic leader of Hopemore society

Meriwether Wainwright
: her granddaughter

Alice Fulton
: Augusta’s personal secretary and companion

Florine Jackson
: Augusta’s housekeeper and cook

Winifred “Pooh” DuBose
: Augusta Wainwright’s oldest friend, a widow

Lottie and Otis Raeburn
: Pooh’s cook-housekeeper and driver-yard man, respectively

Slade Rutherford
: new editor of the
Hopemore Statesman,
a weekly paper

Kelly Keane
: newspaper reporter

Darren Hernandez
: Joe Riddley’s physical therapist

Hiram Blaine
: local character who carries a parrot and believes in aliens

Hector
: Hiram’s brother, convinced the Confederate treasury is buried on his land

Jed
: their nephew, an Atlanta lawyer

Hubert Spence
: MacLaren and Joe Riddley’s nearest neighbor and old friend

Maynard
: Hubert’s son, the Hope County Museum curator

Selena Jones
: Maynard’s girlfriend and a nurse

Police Chief Charlie Muggins

Sheriff Bailey “Buster” Gibbons

It is unfortunate when you are a newly appointed judge, and the chief of police finds a dead man at your party.

It is downright mortifying when the last words out of your mouth were, “Don’t look behind that screen. You know good and well I put it there to hide things I don’t want seen.”

File that under Life Moments I Would Rather Forget.

SEPTEMBER

Knowing where to begin this story is like finding the end of a ball of yarn after it spends an hour with my beagle Lulu. Maybe the best place to begin is with the first death, which was as unexpected as the second, but not half as mystifying.

Garlon Wainwright dropped dead on the seventeenth hole at the Hopemore Country Club during the Labor Day Tournament. Poor Garlon was in the lead for the first time in his life, and some said his heart just couldn’t stand the excitement.

According to his obituary in the
Hopemore Statesman
, Garlon was “fifty-five, only child of Augusta and the late Lamar Wainwright of Wainwright Mills, survived by his mother, one daughter, Meriwether, and his second wife, Candi (35).” I suspected Gusta had a hand in writing it. Nobody was surprised after the funeral to see Gusta and Meriwether riding to the cemetery in the first Cadillac and Candi, alone, in the second.

I kept meaning to get over to see Gusta after the funeral, but couldn’t find a minute. That was the autumn after my husband, Joe Riddley Yarbrough, got shot in the head. He’d survived, but recovery from a head wound is slow, uphill work. I was busier than a bird dog in hunting season between driving him to various kinds of therapies and running Yarbrough’s Feed, Seed and Nursery without him. As if that weren’t enough, I’d agreed to serve as a Georgia magistrate in his place, and while I was used to watching Joe Riddley fit that in around work at the store, I hadn’t realized quite how much time it took.

On Wednesday morning a whole week after Garlon’s funeral, I was pushing Joe Riddley’s wheelchair up the back porch ramp after physical therapy when I heard the phone.

“You gotta answer,” our cook, Clarinda, called through the open screened door. “I’m makin’ rolls and my hands’re covered with grease and flour.” Clarinda came to help me when our older son, Ridd, was born forty years ago, and has worked for—and bossed—me ever since.

The voice on the other end was chillier than a healthy dog’s nose on a frosty morning. “MacLaren? I need you here right away.” I knew it was Gusta. Anybody else in town would have told me who they were. Even my sons announce “Mama, this is Ridd” or “Hey, it’s Walker.” Gusta belonged to that highly self-confident elite who believe the rest of us have so few friends we will always recognize their voices.

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