Thou Shalt Not (20 page)

“I meant it would be cleaner for me,” she said, laughing and leaning forward. It was like we were getting closer by the minute. “Killing someone with a rope would take time to set everything up. The knife and the wrench and the lead pipe would make you get close enough to the person where they could overpower you. Oh, and the candlestick too. And let’s face it, I could outrun them, but that’s probably about it. So, for someone like me, the gun would be the easiest.”

This was a strange conversation to take part in, but I loved it. She was a nerd, that much was obvious to me the day she sat in on my class and helped discuss
To Kill a Mockingbird
. She was also a thinker, and even with the Clue killings, she was showing herself to be calculated, someone who made decisions deliberately. She probably wasn’t all that impulsive.

This meant that the soup was probably a thought out decision, and saying yes to dinner, and inviting me back for the book. Hell, now that I started thinking about it, the fact that she “forgot” the book here at the house could very well have been thought out.

Or maybe I just overthink everything. That was entirely possible too.

The breeze was picking up and I could see the goose bumps on her left arm as her hand continued to rest on my arm. It felt natural. I wasn’t tense, and neither was she. We both seemed very relaxed and comfortable. But she was getting cold and I had nothing to cover her up with.

“Are you cold?” I finally asked. “Should we go back inside?”

She squeezed my arm.

“No, I’m fine unless you are cold. I come out here all the time to read once the kids go to bed.”

God, I’d be out here all the time at night if this were my house. My backyard is just grass and an orange tree with a view of a wooden fence.

“No, I am comfortable. I just saw the goose bumps on your arm when the breeze picked up.”

“You actually noticed something like that?” she asked, seeming almost startled.

“Well, yeah.”

“God, you are an observant man.”

“It’s one of my numerous flaws.”

“Oh shut up. Don’t be so self-effacing all the time. Most people aren’t very observant at all.”

I didn’t really know what to say in response, so I took her advice and shut up for a few minutes.

The breeze blew softly through the trees all around the house. I loved the way a nice sea-breeze sounded, but I normally never took to the time to sit somewhere and listen to it. I didn’t get down near the water very often. Most Floridians took it for granted, at least the ones who weren’t fortunate enough to actually live on the water.

The water in the pool glistened from the light underneath, and the breeze had caused a slight rippling. The pool looked inviting. I had half a mind to pick April up and toss her in. Part of me thought she might be the type of girl who would actually like something like that. Or at least laugh about it.

I had attempted that once with Carrie at her parents’ house and she didn’t speak to me for the rest of the night. Some girls just liked spontaneous, and even though April was calculating, she also had an air about her that screamed playful.

I glanced over at her, and her eyes were lost in a gaze somewhere off to her right. I could have followed to see what was transfixing her, but I preferred looking at her. She was breathing slowly, and her chest was rising and falling in a steady rhythm. The wisps of hair that had freed itself from her ponytail fluttered joyously in the breeze. She really was a beautiful woman, was in any light. But moonlight made her shine. This would be one of those moments that get permanently seared into your memory.

“I don’t want to have to go to work tomorrow,” she finally said, still staring off into the distance.

“Practically took the words right out of my mouth.”

“More videos?”

“Yes, ma’am. I will let them finish the videos tomorrow and then they can get back to learning next week.”

She turned toward me and smiled warmly, her hand squeezing my arm again.

“I have a confession to make.”

Oh boy, I thought and then said, “Let me have it.”

“I like it when you call me ma’am.”

I laughed.

“Really?” I said, in the most incredulous tone I could muster.

“Yes,” she said, lowering her head and frowning. “It’s shameful, I know.”

“Well, I won’t give away your secret, I promise.”

Her hand gave my arm one last squeeze and then April stood up. She set the walkie talkie down on the table, along with her cell phone. I had no idea where the cell phone came from either, but she apparently had the deepest pajama pants’ pockets ever created. She walked over to the edge of the pool and reached her arms high above her head in a stretch. Her arms slowly fell to her sides and I could see the muscles in her back and arms. They weren’t large or grotesque in any way. She was extremely fit, and her lean muscle was just more obvious to me in a tank top.

This angle also gave me the best look at her butt yet. I already liked it when she was wearing a dress, but in pajama pants it became a sculpted work of art. The pants’ material was thin, but not sexually so. It simply wasn’t a heavy material, and it clung perfectly to her.

I wanted to stand up, walk over to her, and hug her from behind, holding her in front of the pool. I probably would have were it not for the creepy dark windows peering over me from above. Maybe it was a good thing they were there.

I stood up too and walked over to her side. She was looking down into the water.

“You know, if I knew you better I would probably push you in,” she said very nonchalantly, as if letting me know the water temperature.

“If I knew you better, I would probably beat you to it,” I replied.

She turned to me, her eyes full of mischievous energy.

“Oh really?”

Her hands quickly went up and grabbed my shoulders, and mine instinctively grabbed her waist. I could feel her grip tighten when I touched her, and her eyes widened.

“If I go in, you are going in with me,” I said, shuffling my feet closer to the edge.

Her hands moved along my shoulders and her feet edged closer to mine.

“I’m a grown woman,” she said. “Threats involving water don’t scare me.”

Her bottom lip curled up under her teeth as she smiled, repeating what I had said earlier. Or mocking me, perhaps.

I tightened my grip on her hips and flinched, pretending I was about to throw her in. She gasped slightly, hands grabbing my shoulders tightly again. Her hips arched forward and she leaned up on her toes as if in reflex.

“I thought you weren’t scared,” I said, pulling her closer to me. “People usually don’t gasp when they are ready for what’s about to happen.”

She was less than a foot from me, her face getting much closer to mine.

“It depends on what’s happening,” she said, looking up into my eyes.

I wasn’t thinking about throwing her into the water anymore. Everything within me wanted to pull her tightly in and kiss her right there, in front of the pool in the house her husband bought with all the millions of dollars he had made throughout his career. Kiss her on the spot where he probably threw numerous parties. Kiss her on the lips I wished were mine, and not his.

The look in her eyes told me she wanted the same. At least I thought they did. I hadn’t been in a position where I felt like this for someone in a long time. Thankfully, my hands were around her waist or I surely would have been able to feel them get clammy, nervous, like a high school kid on his first date with the prom queen he never thought he could get.

She is calculating, remember?
I thought to myself. If she hadn’t wanted it to get to this point she never would have asked you over to her house. She wants this as much as you do.

I wasn’t sure which shoulder angel was feeding me that line but whoever it was, I knew they were right.

My hands pulled her closer until her feet were between mine; our legs and waists touching.

“You have really strong shoulders,” she said. Her voice was soft and she tilted her head up toward mine when she spoke.

Do it
, I told myself.
Kiss her
.   

My heart was racing, and I could hear the beating in my ears. My hands moved up her body and found her neck. My fingers laced in her hair behind her head and I pulled her up.

Then I heard it. We both did. A loud buzzing sound was coming from the table. We both looked over and she took a step back. It was her cell phone. The vibrations immediately turned into a loud ringing.

She looked back toward me, disappointed. She closed her eyes and sighed.

“Fuck,” she said, lowering her forehead on to my chest.

My hands fell to my sides. She got over to the table quickly to silence the ringer. Her face dropped when she saw her screen.

“Fuck, fuck,” she said again, and kicked the ground before answering the phone.

There was a pause before she said, “Hi, Honey.”

Another pause, then, “Oh yeah, I guess that was a quick flight.”

Pause.

“I’m just here at the house, getting ready to go to bed.”

I still hadn’t moved from the edge of the pool, and now I wanted to jump in and bury my head underwater so I didn’t have to hear them talk. It was easy to think of Marco the asshole and want to show April she could be treated better by someone who really wasn’t an awful person. But hearing them interact made what was going on seem more real. She was still very married. And I almost kissed her in his house. God, what was happening?

“You know I have to work tomorrow,” she said, her voice going up slightly. “If I’m awake when you get here, fine. But I can’t make any promises. I’m passing out as it is.”

I walked back over toward the table, admitting to myself that she wasn’t going to come right back to where we were before the phone rang. The mood and tension and anticipation weren’t going to magically return. Marco had seen to that.

“Okay. Okay. Bye.”

She hung up and set her phone back down on the table.

“They left Detroit sooner than he said they would. Just landed.”

The airport was still an hour away, so I knew he wasn’t going to be showing up in the near future.

Unless he called from the front yard
, I thought to myself. He’s probably seen my car and is waiting next to it with a lead pipe or a wrench. He didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who would have a problem bludgeoning someone to death. Maybe I should just run out the back yard, dive off the dock, and try swimming home. Death by bull shark seemed more pleasant than having my brains bashed in.

“Damn pilots. Trying to get home quickly,” I said, hoping to lighten the mood that had gotten noticeably sour.

“Yeah,” was all she said.

We walked in silence back up the incline toward the house, neither of us saying a word. Neither of us had bothered saying, “I guess we should go back inside and wrap this up,” but it was obvious we both knew it was what needed to happen.

The silence was filled with “what ifs” and disappointment. I could have stopped her right there, said, “I’m not letting him ruin our moment,” and kissed her like she had never been kissed before. But, I knew it wouldn’t have had the same impact as if I had kissed her five minutes before. It was funny how things could change so quickly. You’d think after all I had been through, things changing quickly would seem normal.

I had danced on the edge, but I hadn’t crossed the line yet. I could have, but once I kissed her, there would be no turning back. You can’t kiss a married woman and then say, “Maybe we shouldn’t have done that.” You have to make sure you are all in if you let yourself do it.

I got my copy of
Dubliners
from the kitchen and she led me toward the front door.

“Thank you again for dinner tonight,” she said as we stopped in front of the door.

I pulled her toward myself and wrapped my arms around her. I had already hugged this woman far more than I normally hugged anyone else. She rested her cheek on my right shoulder and we just stood there in each other’s arms. In the back of my mind, I pictured lights shining on the front door as Marco pulled into the driveway. I wish I could say this didn’t distract me from hugging her, but it did.

“You’re welcome,” I said as we separated. “Thank you again for the book.”

“If you don’t like it, we can’t be friends.”

“Well then I love it already.”

She smiled.

“Goodnight, Mr. Harper. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight, ma’am,” I said, and with that, she closed the door behind me and I descended the steps and walked to my car.

Dancing with the devil is only dangerous because you run the risk of getting burned
, I told myself as I drove home. But, the dance is always exciting no matter how it turns out. But, I liked April. I was drawn to her. It started with a physical attraction. She was stunning. But I felt chemistry too. From our first conversation in Robin’s classroom until now, it’s been there. And the more I have gotten to know her, the more I wanted to know her.

If I started something with her, I ran the risk of losing my job. Perhaps that’s where the dance could turn dangerous. I also knew that starting something with her could run the risk of also getting discovered by her husband, which would be bad for me, but likely much worse for her. I guess I didn’t worry about the dance leaving my feet singed and my body smelling of smoke. But, I was worried the dance could burn her far worse. I couldn’t be selfish. I wouldn’t be selfish. And as I neared my house, I told myself that no matter what, I was not going to get April burned, even if it meant I never got April at all. And I wanted April.