Three Days Before the Shooting ... (192 page)

“And he says, ‘Too old? Well, if you’re bothered by that, make it a gal who’s about reached the age of hanging up her bloomers …’ ”

“Hold it right there,” the Sergeant interrupted. “Hang up her bloomers? What the hell does that mean?”

“That’s exactly what I asked him, and he says, ‘Retire, McMillen, it’s a gal who’s about to
retire
!’ ”

[DUVAL]

“S
O THEN HE SAYS
that it was something he heard when he worked in the whorehouse, and explained that whenever a customer asked the madam for a gal who’d retired or got married that’s what she told him. Then he imitates the madam and says real proper, ‘Why, my dear, haven’t you heard? The hooker has hung up her bloomers.’

“So when he comes on like that I asks him real quiet, ‘Mister Jessie, could it be that you’re
kidding?’
And he says, ‘No, McMillen, I’m too damn depressed and disgusted. But I’ll take care of that as soon as you leave and come back with a gal and some whiskey.’ And from the way he said it I knew he was serious.

“So then I really try talking him out of it, I really did, but Mister Jessie wouldn’t hear me. And with us being close friends, what else could I do except what he wanted? So he gives me a big wad of money and I find me a taxi and go
to a liquor store to buy him a dozen cases of Jack Daniel’s whiskey. Yeah, and right away I run into trouble.

“When I go to pay for the liquor it turns out that some of those beat-up bills he gave me to buy it turn out to be mildewed—and right away the owner of the liquor store gets suspicious. So now I have to wait while a clerk goes to his bank to check if they’re stolen or counterfeit….”

“And were they?”

“Oh, no, every one of those bills was for real. So then I takes the whiskey in the taxi and go looking for a fellow I know who works at one of these hit-em-and-skip-em midnight motels. And after calling me a fool and laughing like crazy over a man as old as Mister Jessie wanting a woman, he gives me a drink and that lady’s phone number. So right away I get on the phone and I dial her.”

“And then what happened?”

“It went this-a-way: First I offers her seventy-five bucks and a tip if Mister Jessie accepts her. But right away she starts in to bargaining and says that on account of there being a big convention in town it’ll cost us the top union scale….”

“Union
scale! What the hell are you saying?”

“That’s right, the top union scale—which she claimed is a flat two hundred bucks and a quarter.”

“Would you believe it,” a detective exclaimed, “two hundred bucks for a woman like that! No wonder this town is inflated!”

“I wouldn’t know about that,” McMillen said, “but that was her price. So while I’m wanting to please Mister Jessie I’m against riding around town with all that whiskey while I find him a gal whose price was more reasonable. So I drops by the lady’s apartment, and right away I’m hit with a new couple of problems.

“First, she’s drunk as a coot. Second, she don’t look like she’s worth anything
near
the money she’s asking—but that was my personal opinion. So since my getting him a woman was Mister Jessie’s idea and the money was hissen, I tell the lady it’s a deal and I pay her.”

“And why’d you pay her before he had seen her?”

“Because I’m figgering that if she sees Mister Jessie with his money already on her, she’d think twice before changing her mind and raising a ruckus. And to be frank about it, by now I’m itching to see how Mister Jessie will react when he sees who I got him.”

“And how was that?”

“Gimme time, gentlemen, gimme time,” McMillen said with a note of anxiety. “Because by now things are getting pretty damn iffey, and I swear I’m not lying.

“So I gives the lady this address and she promises to be here in about thirty minutes. Then I taxis back here and unloads all that whiskey—which brings us to the reason it’s bothering some of you gentlemen.

“When I start toting those boxes down to the basement I do it three at a time, and on my last trip I stumble down the steps and end up busting most of the bottles that’s in them. Which is why it keeps rising up here through the air ducts. But as much as my wasting all that good bourbon upsets me, by now I’m both curious and worried about poor Mister Jessie. Because after my paying the lady his money I’m afraid that when she sees him she’ll up and say to hell with our deal and take off and start making some trouble.

“Anyway, when I get up here to the living room Mister Jessie has shaved and got hisself dressed. That outfit he’s wearing is what he wore when he went to his church or met with their big-shot trustees. On work days he could look like a beggar, but always on Sundays he was neat as a pin. So now he really looks sharp, but he’s not any calmer than when I took off to buy all that whiskey and find him a woman.

“So, thinking to cheer him a bit I says, ‘Mister Jessie, I’m back with all that whiskey you ordered.’ But right away he wants to know if I brought him the best. So I says, ‘It’s the best
I
know about.’ So then he says, ‘I told you to bring me a gal with the whiskey. Where is she?’

“‘Now don’t get excited,’ I says, ‘she’ll be here in about twenty minutes.’

“‘She’d better,’ he says, ‘or I’ll get out of here and find me another! How much did it cost me?’

“So I hands him the rest of his money, and after counting it he says, ‘And you talk to me about value? Hell, when I was a boy you could buy a whole barrel of whiskey for fifteen dollars!’

“‘Yessuh, Mister Jessie,’ I says, ‘and I reckon that’s when you should’ve been drinking. Times have changed, and I told you that you didn’t need all that whiskey. You can’t even buy a gallon of rot-gut for fifteen dollars. Not today!’ And then he looks at me real hard and says, ‘So what kind of gal did you get me?’ And that’s when the lady back there in the corner arrives and he tells me to take off and go let her in.

“And gentlemen, while I’m gone to get her Mister Jessie does something else which was strange as all hell. When I walk back in here with the lady he’s nowhere to be seen. So I says to the lady, ‘I guess he’s either in his bedroom or down in the kitchen. Make yourself comfortable while I go find him.’ But before I can move I hear Mister Jessie saying, ‘I’m here, McMillen, I’m right over here.’

“And gentlemen, with that Mister Jessie rises up out of that coffin and sits there staring. And with that both me and the lady start to take off. But as luck would have it we’re both too excited. Which, looking back, was a piece of bad luck, because if we had, this thing would have ended right then and there. Anyway, with him sitting there looking all stern through his Sunday nose glasses I make up my mind that I’ve got me some business down in the basement. So I turns to the lady and says, ‘Miss, he’s the one who sent for you,’ and heads for the door.

“I’m figuring that since she’s already juiced and him headed straight as a shot for the nuthouse, neither one needed my hanging around. And I just about make it when I hear Mister Jessie saying, ‘McMillen, where do you think you’re going? We’re having a party and you’re invited.’

“And that’s when the lady staggers back a step with her hands on her hips and speaks her first words.

“‘And for that, Dad,’ she says, ‘the price will be double.’

“That’s right, gentlemen! Never seen Mister Jessie before and right away she’s calling him ‘Dad’! I’m expecting him to take her head off, right then and there. Because usually when somebody gets sassy with Mister Jessie it’s like jumping out of line with Chief Justice Warren. In fact, I’m about to go after her myself when she stares at him with one of those you-can-take-it-or-leave looks on her face and says, ‘That’s right, Dad, the fee’ll be double. And what’s the idea of receiving a professional like me in a coffin?’

“Well, with that Mister Jessie frowns and looks at the lady real hard. ‘Now miss,’ he says, ‘you listen to me. You’ve been paid the price you quoted and I intend for this party to be not only joyful but free of contention. So if you wish to back out of our prior arrangement, just return my money and leave us.’ And with that the lady thinks twice and she cools it.

“‘Now, a party is different,’ she says, ‘But Dad, answer me this: What the hell are you doing sitting up there in that coffin?’ And Mister Jessie says, ‘I’m resting from waiting so long for you to arrive.’

“So she looks at him all juicy-eyed and says, ‘Dad, you must be beat to your socks, and I mean
truly!
But why make it so handy for the damn embalmers? With you in that casket all they’d have to do is shoot you full of formaldehyde and take off for the boneyard. In other words, Dad, you really picked a strange seat for partying.’

“‘Maybe so,’ Mister Jessie says, ‘but are you objecting?’

“‘Oh, no,’ she says, ‘but maybe you’ll tell me just why it is that every damn time I set out to do business with one of you spooks things turn out to be mad as a hatter? I’ve never known it to fail, either the joint gets raided, the john comes on like he thinks he’s a stud on the prod, or the madam’s pet poodle chases a cat under the bed and upsets the party. It never fails. Like the time I’m working interracial in Baltimore when an old Temperance broad busts into the joint and pulls off a black Carrie Nation. That’s right, Dad. We were having a ball when here she comes busting in with a bunch of old broads who’re singing a hymn and banging like mad on some damn tambourines. And next thing I know she’s demanding that everyone swear on her Bible that we’ll not only give up our drinking but convert to her style of kinky religion. To which quite a few said okay, and no wonder! Because Dad, instead of a hatchet she’s waving a Colt forty-five and threatening to use it! And
now
look what’s happening! Here I am in Washington, D.C., and being paid to entertain a spook rigged out in a coffin!’

“And gentlemen, that’s when I knew for sure that Mister Jessie was going
see-
nile. Because all he does is to look at the woman real stern. And me? I’m hot as a pistol. After my paying her all that good money in hope that when she gets here and sees how old Mister Jessie is she’d have enough decency to tell him he’s acting a fool, she standing here talking some jive and calling us spooks!

“So again I try to take off, but before I can get to the door Mister Jessie says, ‘Wait, McMillen,’ and asks the lady her name.

“‘It’s Cordelia Duval,’ she says, ‘And yours?’ ‘I’m Jessie Rockmore,’ he says. And pointing to me, he says, ‘And that’s my friend, Mister Aubrey McMillen. We’re both pleased you could join us.’ ‘Likewise,’ she says. ‘Good,’ he says, ‘but before we go further let me ask you a question.’ And she says, “Yes, Dad, what is it?’ And Mister Jessie says, ‘Miss Duval, do you happen to dance?’

“‘Dance?’ she says, ‘Why, Dad, I was once in the Follies.’

“‘In the Follies,’ Mister Jessie says, ‘why, I would have thought you were too young for that.’

“‘Oh, no,’ she says, ‘and what’s more, it was no less than Flo Ziegfeld himself who made me a star.’

“‘Now that’s very interesting,’ Mister Jessie says. ‘And have you been practicing your present profession for long?’ And she strikes her a high-class pose and says, ‘Long enough to match any trick
you
can come up with. And Dad, believe it or not, I once shared the spotlights with stars like Bert Williams and Will Rogers. Most folks didn’t know it, but Will was an Indian while that Bert was a Negro. And not only was the spook one hell of a performer, when he took off the blackface makeup he used on the stage he was really so handsome that he looked like a white man. Hell, Dad, I knew them
all
, and every one was so sweet to a young girl like me that at first I couldn’t believe it.’

“So then Mister Jessie says, ‘That’s very interesting, Miss Duval, but why’d you stop dancing?’ And she says, ‘Dad, it was like this: After reaching stardom I fell in love with a handsome playboy from high society. It was truly a sizzling romance, but once our names hit the headlines the crumb couldn’t take it. Too worried about his family background and the money they’d leave him, that kind of thing. So our love affair ended with his breaking my heart, and being young and new to the man-woman game, I was left so disillusioned that right there I said to hell with the stage and the headlines. Dad, do you dig it?’

“And when all Mister Jessie comes up with is something about disappointment being the other side of high expectations I broke in.

“‘Oh, come on, Mister Jessie,’ I says, ‘you know this woman’s lying about being on the stage. And handing you that bull about some society dude putting her down is just her way of playing you for some kinda fool!’ But all he does is gimme a frown and say, ‘McMillen, watch your language and remember your manners!’

“Then he says, ‘That’s too bad, Miss Duval, and I’m sorry to hear it. But, like
you, I too have known disappointments.’ And she says, ‘I’m sure of it, Dad, but we’re both still in the game and doing our thing. But why’re you so interested in my career in the Follies?’

“And Mister Jessie says, ‘Because watching you dance would elevate my spirits. Miss Duval, would you do us the honor?’

“And with that the woman jumps salty. ‘Dad,’ she says, ‘what’s all this business about dancing? I’m a first-rate professional, so what’s wrong with you, don’t you find me attractive?’

“‘Of course I do,’ Mister Jessie says, ‘you’re a fine-looking woman, and a proud one at that. Which I appreciate, because until today I’ve made the mutton-headed mistake of sacrificing my pride on the altar of humility. That’s why I’m having this party. I’ve never had one before, but from what I’ve been told, among the things a good party requires are wine, women, and song. So unless you’re also a singer ours will make do with your dancing, some good talk, and whiskey. It’s taken me years to give it a try, but now that I have, would you care to join us, or depart with my blessings?’ And with that Miss Duval changes her tune.

“And not just because of what Mister Jessie was saying. Because while he’s talking I’m watching her, and when she sees all that money scattered on the floor her eyes bug out of her head like two rubber bulges in a weak inner tube.