Three Rivers (13 page)

Well, at least Althea's mother approved of him talking to her. That was a start. Her friends didn't seem to know what to do with him. Griffen stood and walked slowly toward the kitchen. Behind him he heard Althea's mother coo again, this time to say, "Now, David and Doctor Connors, I think she has more than enough help as it is. That ain't the biggest kitchen in the world. You're liable to knock the whole place down if all four of you are in there. Come over and help me with these presents, would you?"

Another solid from the lovely Vivian, he thought to himself as he pushed his way into the kitchen.

The door opened behind her and Althea jumped, knocking her knee on the table in front of her. "Ouch. Dammit!"

"Are you okay?" she heard Griffen ask quietly from behind her.

She quickly turned around, still holding a large knife for cutting the birthday cake.

"Whoa," he said smirking and raising his hands. "You can have my wallet and my phone, but I don't have anything else on me." She laughed despite herself. "That's better. I thought I was going to have to put you on a respirator if you kept holding your breath around me."

"Right, well, it was a bit of a surprise seeing you," she murmured, her hand shaking slightly as she held the knife. She was unable to figure out where to rest her eyes. She couldn't focus on the cake because she wanted to look at him but that only made her more uneasy. The compromise her body made seemed to be to look shiftily at nothing and everything in the room.

"Let me look at that knee of yours." He took the knife from her hand and gently placed it on the kitchen table before he knelt down in front of her and touched her knee lightly. She jumped again, but not from surprise, this was from the shock of desire that shot through her at his touch. Looking down at his dark wavy hair and tanned hands on her bare leg as he crouched before her, she couldn't help but think back to the previous night when he made her come spectacularly from that same vantage point. She started to breathe in little pants, hating herself for how quickly her body responded to the nearness of him when his voice suddenly broke through the lusty fog in her brain.

"Are you going to avoid me the rest of the day?"

"I am not avoiding you, I'm just..."

Griffen looked up at her with skeptical eyes.

Oh Christ, he's so handsome.

"I am just...regrouping. Putting on a party for a five year old is not as easy as it seems. Professor
,"
she added with a sneer.

Griffen had the grace to wince. "Yeah, about that. Come on, gorgeous, be fair."

"Don't call me that!" She stiffened and shook him off her leg. "I think my knee is fine. You can stop touching me now."

"You know that you're the one that snuck out on me, right?" Her eyebrows rose at that. She couldn't believe that someone as sexy and experienced as he was would have cared that she left.
Interesting
. "I'm not a bad guy. Well, at least not this exact time," he added with a smile.

She sighed. "Dammit, you're right. This would be so much easier if you were an asshole."

"Sorry?" he teased and she couldn't help but laugh.

"But you did lie to me," she said.

He pulled his hands away from her and stood. She immediately missed his fingers on her and was furious with herself for it. "Hey, come on," he said. "All I did was withhold. It was more of an omission, like how you didn't tell me you have a kid." Then he looked in her eyes, rubbing the back of his neck and leaning his head down. He looked at her through his lashes and a wavy lock of dark hair that had fallen across his forehead, the same dark hair she'd almost pulled out at the root. "And I call you gorgeous because that's what you are — gorgeous. So, will you let me explain about my omission, and I'll simply accept yours?"

Althea leaned away a bit, thinking he was so sexy she might have a heart attack right there in the kitchen — next to a punk themed child's birthday cake —
how lurid
. Thinking that she should probably avoid such a humiliating end, she slowly forced herself to begin breathing again.

"Okay, then explain away."

"I am filling in for one of my former professors and mentors at Pitt for the next two weeks in his investigative journalism and nonfiction writing courses. It really is the truth right now. I have a faculty ID and everything."

"You just happened to forget the part about being a famous best-selling author?"

"I haven't written anything new in years, so I don't really feel much like a writer these days."

"Writer's block?"

"You could say that. Tell me, if I'd told you the whole truth about what I do would that have mattered to you? Would you have liked me more?"

"No, that wasn't really possible." Griffen smiled with a full smug grin and Althea rolled her eyes at him. "Get over yourself, stud. I liked you, that was no secret."

"
Liked
, past tense?"

"Okay, liked and considering still liking. Okay? Your 'rock star writer' status probably would have actually scared me off. You aren't off the hook yet, though. It’s just, I have a thing about honesty and openness."

"What about it?"

"I like it. I guess you could say I require it. I don't want secrets between me and the people in my life. So, I didn't like finding out in my kitchen from Carol that you hadn't been honest with me. Do you really even go by the name Griffen?"

"Absolutely. It's my mother's maiden name, my middle name, and I've always liked it. Nick was my dad's name, too. Once that asshole died and I left Pittsburgh I wanted a new beginning. A new name seemed like a good idea. Anyone who knew me when I was a kid still calls me Nick, though. How's that for open and honest?"

"It's a start." She looked down and took a breath before saying softly, "Jack talked about his best friend Nick sometimes. I guess that's what he called you?"

"Yeah, Jack and I were pretty inseparable from five years old on."

Holy crap
, Althea thought, as it hit her that Jack and Griffen were in high school together. In the same building. At the same time. That seemed like a cruel way to torture teenage girls. Christ it probably was too much cocky hotness for the teachers, too!

"And he talked to me about his beautiful, brilliant love named Tea. You know, you looked so familiar to me last night, I realize now it must be because I saw a couple pictures of you."

"You seemed familiar to me, too. I would never have thought in a million years..."

"Had you seen pictures of me?"

"Yeah. Old shots of you guys playing football. You guys as kids. There wasn't exactly Facebook back then, so just those old pictures Jack had."

"I'm not really the social media type anyway," he said with a smirk. Griffen paused to take her face and body in slowly. "I think you look different from the pictures Jack emailed me."

"Ten years and a baby will do that to you."

He stroked a lock of her hair and she couldn't resist the small shudder that passed through her. On a swallow she said, "I used to color it."

Althea's throat burned with pain at their mention of Jack and the confusion she felt inside being so close to Griffen. She looked up to stare through blurry eyes into Griffen's beautiful blue ones. She was surprised to see what looked like deep anguish had taken hold of his usually playful face. They must have been looking at each other for some period of time because she jumped when Griffen broke the silence. "Althea..."

Althea turned and placed her hands on the kitchen table, trying to regain her composure. She clutched the knife again but couldn't seem to grasp it well.

"Your hands are shaking," Griffen whispered after clearing his throat. She looked down to see her trembling hand holding the knife over the cake. "Here." Griffen walked behind her and gently steadied her hands with his, putting it down on the table while Althea breathed deeply. He'd only touched a small part of her body but every molecule of hers was aware of each of his. She felt the full length of his body behind hers, warming her even though she felt tingly and almost numb in her stomach and toes.

"Of course they're shaking! Jeez, aren't you at all mortified?" she asked.

"Mortified? I don't know. I mean, I was definitely shocked. Jack was like a brother to me. Sleeping with his wife, widow or not, is not on the top of my list of good things to do. But I was also really happy to see you again today. I didn't like waking up and you not being there. That was a real first for me, trust me."

"It was wrong," she whispered, mostly trying to convince herself.

"Why?"

"I was married to Jack."

"Don't do that to yourself, Althea. You have nothing to feel guilty about." She laughed bitterly to herself.
If only he knew just how guilty I feel every day. How I let everything be ruined
. She swallowed and picked the knife up again, clutching it tightly.

Althea leaned forward, away from him, her chest rising and falling as she tried to get herself under control. He leaned forward and she felt his warm breath as his mouth nestled right next to her ear. Her hand started shaking from full-on tremors with the renewed nearness of him.

He finally whispered, "Althea?"

"Yes," she whispered, her back straight as the knife started wobbling slightly in her hand.

"Why don't I cut the cake for you?" She put it down and heaved out the breath she hadn't even realized she was holding. She stepped aside, grateful for the distance from this man. He was even more devastating in the daylight, if that was possible.

He began to cut perfectly straight slices in Johnny's cake and without looking up said, "Well, now that I know you were married to the most wonderful person I've ever met, I guess I feel a little less offended about you running out while I was sleeping. Without even a note, I might add." She only saw some of his face when he looked sideways at her for a brief moment, but she could tell his mouth was playing with a smirk. Althea felt grateful that he was veering the conversation away from her twisting heart and had taken it back to gentle teasing.

"I thought men like you appreciated that kind of consideration from a woman."

"Hmm, and what exactly is a 'man like me'?"

"Oh no, I'm going to plead the Fifth on that one."

He made two passes of the knife, the silence giving her a chance to collect herself as she finally took the chance to lower herself into a chair.

Griffen looked over at her and her heart raced again as he said, "So when you said it had been a while...are you saying I am the first guy you — you know..."

"Slept with since Jack?" He nodded. "Yes."

"Shit!" His hand slipped and smeared a perfect white piece of skull shaped icing into the black icing below. He quickly smoothed the piece over and Althea trained her eyes on the now gray blob of frosting rather than look at his face. "Sorry," he said quickly. "Seriously, though, how could it have been that long?"

"I don't know. I can't believe I'm talking to you about this."

"You can tell me anything. I did love Jack, too, I want to help you," he said and something in his eyes, and the way the playfulness turned to a sorrow she recognized too well from her own mirror, made her trust him.

"I know I can't love anyone else like I loved Jack."

"So, no dating or sex?"

"Well, so far I've been on a 'no anything' policy. But, most definitely, no relationships. I had a couple of first dates after Johnny was born. Not sure if you recall but Pittsburgh is still a pretty family-oriented town."

"Yeah. Fiddler on the Roof had less obsession with matchmaking and getting hitched."

Althea giggled and leaned back a bit. Something about talking to him soothed her. "There were definitely a lot of mothers and best friends of single guys pushing them my way — good girl like me, right? And I was already vetted as wife material. Even better."

"Did anything ever go anywhere?"

"No. Never beyond a first date and never anything physical — just a kiss or two. It felt like cheating to get emotionally involved with someone. It still does. Just the thought of loving someone or being serious with someone feels so incredibly wrong. And..." she hesitated.

"And?" He wouldn't let her get away with holding back and for some reason she liked that. She'd used every excuse not to think about her feelings, her guilt, that sharing them with someone who loved Jack so deeply, too, felt oddly cathartic.

"And, as if the shame weren't enough, each date really upset Carol. She would cry and ask me to sit and look at pictures of Jack with her after each one. It tore me apart." Tears sprang in her eyes and she saw him reach for her but she shook her head and he backed off, returning to the monotony of slicing the large sheet cake. She swallowed, "So I just stopped doing anything at all."

"But she let's that guy David hang around right? I mean she acted like he was family."

"David? Oh God, that's because he
is
like family. We would never think of each other that way. He was like a father to Jack after his own dad died. Carol likes to have him around for that reason."

"You're allowed to have fun, though, right?" Griffen asked.