Thunder (Alpha Love - a Paranormal Werewolf Shifter Romance Book 3) (18 page)

Sofie watches as the two women laugh and joke together, sharing the kinds of moments that Sofie missed out on after college because she couldn’t let anyone get close to her. Then, the pull comes again. It grabs her and pushes her through the dark tunnel—until the darkness turns to water, and she goes rushing to the surface, her eyes flying open. She finds herself staring straight into Ashton’s sky blue eyes.

He watches her warily. “I thought I was supposed to be driving.”

She pulls back to get a good look at him, her head still spinning a little bit from the trip. “What do you mean?”

“You kept pushing against me every time I tried to move on. That’s never happened before.” He looks at her with that immutable expression of his that makes her wonder what it is that he’s seeing.

“That was incredible. I saw…I saw…everything.” She rubs her eyes as if that will give her clearer recollection of it all. “I saw the First, and I saw the ceremony, and I saw you when you were little, and I saw your mom.” The wonder in her voice is only a fraction of what she feels. “The necklace…it’s passed on, right? From one Alpha mate to the next. I saw the ceremony, and it was…beautiful.”

Ashton watches her, in admiration of her. He caresses her cheek, his fingers trailing down her neck over the necklace. He strokes the hollow of her throat, feeling the beat of her heart underneath his fingers. “Every generation, before an Alpha takes his mate, his mother passes on her necklace. It’s a rite of passage. It’s given to the mate of an Alpha to protect her and to show the pack’s respect for her, their need for her.” He watches Sofie’s reaction to what he’s telling her. She remains completely still, barely breathing, waiting to hear what he has to say next. “Being the mate of an Alpha means that you are more at risk than any other member of the pack. It also means that you will give birth to the next generation and, most likely, to the next Alpha. The pack looks up to the Pack Mother; she’s the soul of the group. She’s what holds everything together.”

Sofie breaks her silence, staring at the only man she’s ever felt a connection this powerful with. “Why are you telling me all of this?” She looks at him uncertainly.

Ashton continues talking as if she hasn’t spoken, caressing her neck, her cheek. “Lupo gave that necklace to the first mate, the first woman that was made a werewolf. The woman that he fell in love with.”

“So this necklace is supposed to be for your mate, for the woman that’s going to be the mother of your children, the person that’s going to lead the pack with you. So, why did you give it to me?” Sofie feels like she’s ten steps behind the conversation, rushing to keep up.

Ashton looks at her like she’s simple. “After everything that I’ve just said, you’re asking what our relationship is? What you are to me?”

She cringes at herself, wishing that she didn’t sound like a needy girlfriend. After the horrendous events of the day, it was crazy that they were even having a conversation about their relationship. But it didn’t seem as if there was any limit on insanity when it came to their life. “Yes! Yes, I’m asking you!” She pushes herself off the couch, needing some space from him, needing for him not to see how important this is for her. She’s spent so long trying to pretend that she doesn’t need anyone or anything, it almost came as a shock how untrue that was. “I mean, I’m not looking for some kind of Facebook status update—‘Sofie is in a relationship with Ashton.’ However, yes, it would be nice to know that we’re on the same page. That we’re on any kind of a page at all!” She wants to beat her head against a wall. She sounds too needy, but it’s too late. It’s all out there.

She sneaks a look at Ashton, who’s looking at her with that amused expression on his face that is so damn sexy and so damn infuriating at the same time. He seems to realize how bizarre this turn of events is, but he goes with it because he needs to say something as much as she needs to hear it.

Ashton stands up, closing the distance between them, raking his fingers through his hair. It suddenly occurs to Sofie that he’s nervous. When he looks down at her, his eyes are full of sincerity. “There’s no one else that I want. You’re it for me. The way that I feel when I’m with you, it’s the best I have ever felt. The connection we’ve had, since the first moment I saw you, it’s stronger than anything else I’ve experienced, and I know you feel it, too. Lycans believe that when you find the other half of your soul, the person that makes you whole. That’s what being a mate is.” Ashton breathes out, as if he’s been holding all of that in for so long. It’s the closest he’s ever come to saying how he feels about Sofie, how he really feels.

Sofie is trembling as she listens to words that she has been desperate to hear. “You told me once that if I were like you, a Lycan, then when you claimed me, we would be mates. But I’m not were; I’m not like you. How can we ever be together? How can it work?”

Ashton covers her mouth with his hand, smothering whatever else she has to say. “Stop, just stop. No questions. You don’t have to question everything. You don’t have to question this. Just feel it.” He moves his hand away from her mouth and then, as if he can’t resist her, his lips are on hers. Suddenly, he’s kissing her so deeply, so carnally that she feels as if her feet actually lift off of the floor.

He’s actually rendered her speechless, but he hasn’t finished yet. He holds her face in his hands, breathing hard. “When I thought that something was going to happen to you tonight, and that I might not be able to stop it. I was out of my mind. I couldn’t think straight. I lost my shit, and I wish you hadn’t seen that side of me. But when it comes to you, I have no control. You take it all away from me.” He sifts his hands through her hair, letting the silk locks sieve through his fingers. “I know that we’re different and that it’s complicated and hard and that you don’t need this in your life. But I also know that I’d rather have the most complicated and difficult day with you than a lifetime with anyone else.”

Sofie feels the tears start to well up in her eyes. But this time, they’re not tears made up of fear or pain or hurt, they’re tears of joy.

“Feel free to jump in whenever you have something to say,” he jokes, looking at her earnestly and suddenly afraid that he may have gone too far—that he may have scared her off.

She locks eyes with him, the current of electricity between them firing at full power. “I guess there’s not a lot that I have to say— except that I love you, and the thought of not being with you makes me feel like I’m dying inside.” Once the words are out of her mouth she feels a tidal wave of relief. It seems strange that it should ever have been so hard for her to say what he means to her.

Ashton strokes the pad of his thumb over her lips in the way that makes her desperate for him. She opens her mouth, sucking on his finger, her eyes heavy with lust. She wants him. Ashton looks at her with so much need that she can already feel the moistness blooming in her panties. He kisses her hard, bruising her mouth with his. With his lips he tells her that they belong together, that this is where they are supposed to be.

They yearn for each other, craving a touch and a kiss filled with need. They strip off their clothes, needing to be as close as they can, needing to feel the heat of the other’s body. They barely break apart from their kisses long enough to catch their breath. Breathing is secondary to this. In this moment, there’s nothing more important than their union.

Ashton lays Sofie down gently on the floor, and she stretches out feeling the softness of the rug underneath her. He is tender with her, kissing her softly. They’re making love, but it’s more than that. It’s an acceptance of what they are to each other, that they belong together, that their souls are irrevocably connected.

As he enters her, they keep their eyes fixed on each other. His hardness dips inside of her and fills her up. She can feel him throbbing with need, and she lays her hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat in time with hers. They move together, perfectly in time, creating a heat between them hotter than any flame.

He watches her with awe and almost reverence, as he moves inside of her. However, she doesn’t want to be revered. Tonight, all she wants is to be claimed, to be his. He leans down to kiss her full lips, and she bites down, hard, drawing blood. Ashton pulls back in surprise, looking at her, and he sees a need in her eyes that matches his own. She wants him to own her, to claim her because she is his.

She leans forward, licking the blood on his bottom lip, slowly and seductively. She’s not ashamed of what she wants, what she needs, and she doesn’t want him to be afraid to hurt her. “Take me. I’m yours.” As she says the words, she clenches her pussy around him and watches as his breath catches in his throat.

She doesn’t need to say anything else. Ashton knows what she wants because he needs it just as desperately as she does. Perhaps it’s the violence of the night that turns them so wild, but whatever is driving them, it’s strong and it demands to be satisfied. Ashton grinds his hips against hers, pushing his cock even deeper into her, making her pussy sing. She responds the same way, wanting their bodies to be as close as humanly possible. She sucks his bottom lip, chasing away the blood that she’s put there, and he groans against her mouth, unable to stop himself.

Ashton pulls her up from the ground, maneuvering her so that she’s sitting on top of him, her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms around his neck. She traps her bottom lip between his teeth and sucks, hard, making her moan as his hips pick up the pace.

Sofie leans down and nuzzles his neck, alternately licking and biting him. She wants to leave her mark on him, and it turns her on even more when she sees the teeth-marks she’s left behind on his body. She leans back into him a little as he kneads her ass, squeezing just hard enough, and he wastes no time, ducking down to take her nipples in his mouth, pulling, teasing, driving her wild.

“Your pussy, baby. It’s so tight. You’re driving me crazy. You like my cock in your tight pussy?” Ashton breathes heavily, looking between them and seeing his shaft sheathing inside of her. It’s incredibly hot. Sofie nods quickly, making eye contact with him, her pupils dilated, dizzy with lust. “Say it for me, baby.”

“I love having your cock in my pussy.” The words are ripped out of her as she tries to keep it together, clenching and grinding against him.

“You’re mine. This is all mine.” Ashton looks her in the eyes as he dips his finger down, fingering her clit. It’s not a question.

“I’m all yours. I belong to you, Ash.” Sofie is so turned on it’s hard to think, let alone to get the words out. “And you belong to me.”

Ashton smiles as he pumps harder into her. “That’s right, running girl. That’s right. You’re mine, and I’m yours. This cock is all yours, baby.”

Ashton guides Sofie forward, kissing and suckling on her lips as he stimulates her clit, making her lose it. “I want you to come inside of me. I want you to come in my cunt.”

Her dirty talk spurs him on. He dominates her, just like she wants him to. They move together, in perfect unison, both straining for the release that overcomes them. Ashton empties himself inside of her, thundering her name. At the same moment, she cries out his name and shatters around him, like he’s broken her in half.

They lie on the rug, hands intertwined, looking at each other like kids look at the best present they’ve ever had. It seems wrong somehow that they’re in this little world of contentment, satisfaction, wonder even, after what happened earlier that night.

Ashton sees the dark veil move over her features and reaches over to smooth out the crease of the frown lines on her forehead. “What is it?”

Sofie bites her lip, not wanting to spoil the moment, this beautiful period of time out of time, when it’s just the two of them and the outside world doesn’t exist. But she can’t hide her feelings of guilt. “I can’t get it out of my head. The thought of him…it creeps up on me and boom…it totally floors me.” She doesn’t have to say what it is that she’s talking about.

“I wish that you hadn’t had to see that, that you hadn’t seen me like that. But there wasn’t any other way. If he’d run back to DC, then they would know that you’re here, and they’d keep coming after you. He was going to hurt you, Sofie, really hurt you.” Ashton pulls her close to him like he can’t bear the thought of it.

“I know, I know.” She nods, because what he’s saying is true, she knows that. And yet, somehow it doesn’t fix the fault that she feels for her role in someone being killed and then covering it up. But there’s something else that she wants to hear from him. “You told me before that it had been a long time since you’d lost control of the wolf. But you lost control tonight. You…lost your shit,” she says, copying his phrase.

Ashton doesn’t contest her description of events. There’s no two ways about it; that’s what went down. “I’m not proud of it. That’s not how it should have gone down.” The self-reproach in his voice is clear.

“Tell me what happens, explain it to me. I need to understand.” Sofie reaches out, letting her fingers trail over his stubbly cheek.

Ashton remains silent, but he’s not being evasive, not this time. He looks like he doesn’t even know how to begin. “It’s about strong emotion,” he starts eventually. “I learned to control the wolf when I was young, younger than most. My dad was strict about that kind of thing. The pack master’s son had to be stronger, better, more in control than anyone else. The only time it happened when I was old enough to know better was when my mother died.” His eyes are full of pain, and Sofie leans in to kiss him softly. “It was my fault,” he says so quietly she almost misses the words.

“What? No! I don’t believe that.” Sofie registers the look of pain that moves across Ashton’s face at the mention of his mother. It isn’t hard for Sofie to conclude that it’s not a happy story. “Tell me.” She feels like this is another piece to the Ashton puzzle, one of the keys that she needs to understand him.

“It’s easier if I show you.” Sofie nods quickly. He reaches out to bring her forehead close to his and closes his eyes. It’s faster this time, and she lets him lead her through his memories, finding what he wants to share with her.

Sofie is lost in Ashton’s memories. As she’s falling, she feels like she’s going deeper into his mind, as if this is something that he keeps in the recesses of his brain, something that he tries to keep hidden, as much as he can.

When her eyes open, she’s sitting in the back of a car, an old Buick. In the front is Ashton, she guesses at about twelve or thirteen years old, and it’s clear already that he’s going to grow into a heartbreakingly handsome man. He’s talking to his mother, asking how much longer until they get home. They’re parked outside a gas station, looking like it’s in the middle of nowhere. Sofie can see the road stretching out for what looks like miles in either direction. Suddenly, she’s inside the gas station with them, watching as they pick up some supplies for the road.

“Does it feel different when you’re wearing it?” Ashton is looking at the necklace resting over his mother’s neck. “Is it heavy?”

His mother smiles at him. “You want to try it, Ash? See how it feels?”

Ashton smiles shyly at her, signaling that’s exactly what he was driving at. His father would never allow him to even touch the necklace. He didn’t understand what the big deal was. It wasn’t like he was going to break it.

She doesn’t know why but Sofie gets a bad feeling as soon as his mother lifts the necklace over her head and puts it over her son’s. Even the sky outside looks darker than it had only a few moments ago, like it knows that something very wrong is about to happen. She takes a step towards the two of them, wanting to warn them of what’s coming; but, they can’t hear her. They can’t hear her telling them to look out as a man walks in, a ski mask over his face, holding a rifle.

“Down on the ground! Down on the ground!” His voice is harsh as he shouts at Ashton and his mother, pointing the gun at them before turning it on the store clerk. “Empty the register. Now!”

The store clerk doesn’t waste any time, but it takes him a little while to open the register, his hands are shaking so much. He’s old and looks frightened, so frightened. Ashton’s mother communicates with her son through her mind. Their mother-son connection means that she doesn’t have to transform into a wolf to make her thoughts audible to him.
Stay back, Ash.

What are you going to do?
Ash tries to catch hold of her hand, but she slips through his fingers, standing up slowly so as not to attract the gunman’s attention.

She plants her feet on the ground, prepared to transform if she has to. But she’s strong, even in her human form. She knows that she can take him, especially as he hasn’t even realized that she’s behind him.

She pads up silently behind the man, her hands either side of his head. Ashton recognizes the move, it’s one that his father had taught him. It will only requires the smallest movement for her to break his neck.

“Put the gun down and get out of here. This is your one and only warning.” His mother’s voice is cool and calm, looking like she isn’t the least bit scared. The gunman almost jumps out of his skin. Although he tries to turn around, she has him in a strong hold. “If you move another inch your head and your body will no longer be attached. So, I suggest that you put the gun down and leave.”

The man doesn’t need to be told twice. He crouches down, laying the gun at his feet, arms up. Sofie can see from the wet patches under his armpits that he’s sweating profusely. He definitely got more than he bargained for when he decided to hold up this gas station.

Ashton looks at his mother, his eyes filled with pride. It’s not hard to figure out why he’s so impressed with her. She’s seriously badass. But that’s when everything shifts.

The bell over the door dings, and a second man walks into the gas station. He must have been the getaway driver, wondering what was taking his partner in crime so long. He hasn’t even bothered to cover his face. He has a dragon tattoo that rises up his neck, the tongue flicking into his mouth. However, that’s not what draws Sofie’s attention. It’s the sawn-off shotgun in hands.

“Wyatt, what the hell are you doing?” He takes in the scene, his partner being overpowered by a skinny little woman.

“He’s being smart.” Ashton’s mother responds on his behalf. She must see something in the second man’s eyes, something that makes her realize that he’s not going to give up as easily as his friend.

Sofie watches as her eyes start to glow a golden color, something she’s seen Ashton’s do just before he turns. However, the gunman has other ideas. He looks at her the way a spider looks at a fly, as if she were nothing. Sofie recognizes it; it’s the way that Luke looks at her. Before Ashton’s mother can transform, the man points the gun at her chest and, without hesitating, he pulls the trigger.

It seems as if his mother drops to the floor in slow motion, her eyes still open as the life ebbs out of her. The whole in her chest is a crater. Sofie reaches out for Ashton, who is already running towards her, his pants becoming stained by her blood as he kneels beside her. Sofie feels the tears falling over her cheeks as she sees the pain that he’s in.

The gunman is unmoved, he motions towards the clerk. “Did I tell you to stop?”

The clerk works his mouth, but no sound comes out. He can’t take his eyes off Ashton’s mother’s prone body on the floor.

That’s when Sofie hears a sound filled with more pain than anything she has ever heard before. Ashton lifts his head up to the sky, screaming, crying for his mother, laying the necklace next to her, like an offering. He turns to the two men who are looking at him as if he were something they’d never seen before.

The second man raises his gun again, threatening Ashton. And that’s when he loses control. Sofie can see the moment that it happens. His eyes glow bright gold, and his screams of pain turn into a howl as he shifts. The transformation is so fast the men don’t even have time to react. It’s less of a shift than Ashton opening himself for the wolf to take him.

The store is filled with screams of shock and horror and pleas for mercy as Ashton launches himself at the men. Sofie watches as the golden wolf, smaller than the one she is familiar with, attacks, biting and ripping flesh. He tears the men apart, sending dismembered limbs flying and filling the floor with blood and broken bodies.

Ashton, still in wolf form, lies by his mother’s body. His snout is covered in the blood of their enemies, and he howls. He howls as if the end of the world had come, because that’s exactly how it felt. He knows that nothing would never be the same again without her, and he knows that it is his fault.

The gas station clerk has disappeared, and Ashton’s ears prick up as the sounds of sirens fill the air. His body seems to relax, the wolf letting go of him. Then, he becomes human again. He’s covered in the men’s blood, but he barely even seems to notice. He takes his mother’s hand in his, holding onto her although the warmth is already leaving her body. He picks up the necklace, closing the rock in his fist so hard that it bites into his skin, drawing blood, his blood, which mingles with the life essence of his mother, and he bows his head and cries.

Sofie wants to comfort the little boy, to hold onto him and to tell him that there was nothing he could have done. But she’s being pulled out of the memory and, this time, she doesn’t have the energy to resist the movement.

When Ashton drops his hands from her head, Sofie gasps like she’s been holding her breath underwater. This was more than just a sharing of memories; it was a merging of minds. Sofie was feeling everything that Ashton had felt that day: the overwhelming sadness and the pain.

She feels a pricking in her hand and looks down to her fist, clenched tight. When she opens it, she sees an imprint on it and drops of blood. The imprint is the same shape as the necklace. It’s as if she were Ashton, as if it had happened to her. His pain was imprinted on her. Ashton looks at her hand in wonder and opens his own hand. She sees three scarred dots, something she hadn’t even noticed before.

“I thought werewolves healed?” She traces the triangle between the scars.

“There are some things that even we never heal from.” He meets her eyes, and Sofie knows that he’s not talking about the necklace. She knows that he feels broken inside. It’s a part of him that he’s worked hard to push away, to pretend doesn’t exist. “If I hadn’t asked her for the necklace, she would still be alive. It was supposed to protect her, that’s why she never took it off, why should never have taken it off.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes against the pain.

“It wasn’t your fault, Ash. You were just a kid. There was no way that you could have known.” Sofie moves as close to him as she can, holding him like she know he needs her to. “You didn’t kill her, Ashton. They did, not you.”

Ashton doesn’t accept what she’s saying. He can’t accept it. It’s been too many years of him replaying that day over and over again in his mind. A simple few words from Sofie can’t take away the guilt that he feels, no matter how much he wants them to. “I made the mistake once of not looking after the person that I care about most in the world. I’m not going to do make the same mistake twice. I can’t.” He brushes his fingers against her cheeks, so tenderly. “That’s what I was thinking about when I came to your room tonight, that I couldn’t let anything happen to you. I couldn’t lose you.”

Sofie takes his hand and puts it against her chest so he can feel the warmth of her body, the beat of her heart. “You’re not going to lose me. I’m here; I’m not going anywhere.” She watches as Ashton fights his way back to the moment, back to her. “What happened afterwards?”

Ashton nods, understanding why she’s asking. The pack is supposed to be a secret, and his anger had threatened to expose them all. He’d morphed in front of three people, and now two of them were dead. “The clerk must have called the ambulance. When it arrived, I was still kind of a mess. I guess all they saw was a kid crying over the body of his dead mother. I remember sitting in the middle of the store, and there was a whole muddle of limbs and blood from the shooters around me.” He shakes his head like it’s an image he’ll never be able to get out of his head.

“What did they do?” Sofie peers at him, her hand still holding his over her heart.

“Not much. It didn’t take me long to realize that I was in a dangerous position. I just kept on asking for my dad. They probably figured I was too distraught to say anything else. The truth was that I knew my dad would be able to fix all of this. It came with the territory of being Pack Master. He’d told me once that I would have to be prepared to do whatever was necessary to keep the secret of the pack.” Ashton’s eyes get that far away look in them, but his voice is bitter. It’s clear from the few memories that Sofie has seen that Ashton and his father weren’t exactly close.