Thy Neighbor's Wife (31 page)

Alex’s heart skipped a beat as she followed her lover’s frantic

movements with her eyes. “Now?”

“I have to find him. He can’t hear this from Dawn; it’s not fair

to him and you can bet she’s going to want to be the one to tell him

her good news.” She located her sandals and slipped them on. “He

needs to hear it from me.”

Alex swallowed and nodded, unable to find words, sure that if

she opened her mouth, she’d burst into sobs and beg Jennifer not to

leave.

“He needs to hear it from me, Alex,” she repeated as she

opened the sliding glass door.

“Okay.”

Alex watched her scurry across the yard and into her own

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house, knowing that this was something Jennifer had to do, but try-

ing to tamp down the sickening feeling that she was watching her

dream walk away from her.

Chapter

Seventeen

Jennifer and Eric had spoken only once, by phone, since their

fateful argument in the backyard. Jennifer thanked the gods above

that she’d been able to get in touch with him as quickly as she had—

she wasn’t sure she could stay in such a state of heightened panic

for any longer without exploding. They made arrangements to meet

in a neutral place the next day and to talk. She wasn’t really sure

what to expect, but she longed for some familiar territory and right

then, Eric seemed to be it.

She’d abandoned Alex abruptly—too abruptly, she knew. She

winced when she thought of how she’d left her new lover standing

in the kitchen the night before, blinking in confusion, but she hadn’t

felt that there was any other option. She’d thought about Eric hear-

ing things from Dawn, about the betrayal he’d surely feel, about the

embarrassment if his family found out before he did, and she

couldn’t bear it. He deserved more respect from her and she knew

it. She owed him that…at least that. She’d become frantic trying to

locate him. Once they’d made contact and set up a meeting, Jenni-

fer had forced herself to stay in her own house, to sleep in her own

bed, to be alone. It hadn’t been easy to know that Alex was just a

short walk away. Her warm eyes, warm voice, warm body called to

Jennifer, pleaded with her, but she’d managed to stay put for the

entire night. As a precaution, she’d taken the phone off the hook

and locked all the doors.

“I’ve probably completely freaked her out,” Jennifer muttered

to herself as she steered the Volvo into a parking space. She felt

intense guilt about the way she’d deserted Alex without so much as

a peck on the cheek, as well as intense guilt over the impending dis-

cussion with Eric. She rubbed at her temples with her fingertips,

trying to stave off the headache that was approaching with all the

speed and power of a freight train. “What the hell am I doing?” she

asked nobody in particular.

She and Eric had agreed to meet at Kershaw Park so they could

wander along the lake and not be tied to a table, as they’d be if they

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met in a restaurant. Jennifer arrived first and, not seeing Eric any-

where, strolled down to the water. She took a deep breath and tried

to relax, but every thought, fear, and emotion seemed to hit her at

once. Questions flew at her from all directions. What if I hurt Eric

beyond repair? What if he can’t handle this? Is this really what I

want? What if it isn’t? What if I haven’t given my marriage enough

of a chance? Am I doing the right thing? How does Alex feel about

me? Does she love me? Could she? What if I’m not what she wants

at all? What if I leave Eric and then Alex leaves me? Where will I be

then?

“What the hell am I doing?” she said again. She grabbed her

head with both hands and ordered her brain to calm its whirlwind

of thoughts, told herself to breathe steadily, commanded her ham-

mering heart to slow down. After a few minutes, the questions

eased and she felt slightly better. She opened her eyes and looked

out onto the water. It was a beautiful day, sunny with blue skies and

a light breeze that rearranged her hair as it saw fit. She inhaled

deeply and tasted the lake air.

“Hey.”

She jumped as Eric’s voice startled her and she turned to meet

his eyes as she got to her feet. “Hi.”

He was dressed comfortably in jeans and an old Eddie Bauer t-

shirt that had faded from dark red to a washed brick. He hadn’t

shaved and his dark hair was windblown. Despite the dark circles

that had formed under his eyes, he seemed surprisingly at ease and

she felt the sudden desire to tell him so.

“You look good, Eric.”

He smiled. “I was just about to tell you the same thing.”

“Thanks.”

They stood awkwardly for several minutes, then began a slow

stroll along the path.

“Rumor has it you’ve left the firm,” Jennifer finally ventured.

“Rumor is correct. I resigned last week.”

“Wow.” Jennifer nodded, impressed. “That’s big. How did your

father take it?”

“Surprisingly well, believe it or not.”

“I believe it.”

“Jen…” Eric stopped, faced her, and gently placed a hand on

her arm. He was normally very smooth and knew just what to say in

any given situation; instead he uncharacteristically fumbled for the

right words. “I need to apologize. For that day last week in the back

yard.”

Jennifer wanted to stop him, to save him the discomfort and

tell him she understood, but rather she nodded for him to continue.

“I’m so sorry,” he went on. “I never would have hit you…I sup-

Thy Neighbor’s Wife 167

pose that’s an easy enough thing for me to say and it certainly

doesn’t make it okay. I just…it was all falling in on me, you know?

My workload at the office was so huge and I was so stressed out

about that and about us. When my father asked me point blank

whether or not I really wanted the firm, I just wigged out. I ended

up taking it out on you and I’m really, really sorry for scaring you

like that.”

His sincerity brought tears to her eyes. She inhaled deeply, let-

ting the relief seep into her bones. “It’s okay,” she said softly.

“Apology accepted. I knew it wasn’t you. I feel bad for spilling the

beans to your father, but I think leaving the firm was the right thing

for you to do.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You weren’t happy practicing law.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

They stood side by side, looking out onto the calm waters of

Canandaigua Lake. After a long silence, Eric swallowed and looked

at his feet. His voice was barely audible. “I want a divorce, Jen.”

She’d known it was coming, even thought she might have to say

the words herself. But hearing it come from her husband was like a

punch in the stomach. All the air left her lungs and she struggled to

breathe, her eyes welling. It was one of the strangest feelings she’d

ever experienced, the combination of relief and sheer terror. On the

one hand, she knew that they couldn’t maintain their sham of a

marriage. On the other, she was looking at letting go of the person

with whom she’d spent over a decade of her life and she felt the

panic leaching in on her once again.

The tears spilled over and ran freely down her cheeks. “Are you

sure?” she asked in the small voice of a child.

Eric swallowed again, grief closing his heart in its fist. He took

Jennifer’s hand and led her to a nearby bench where they both sat.

He gently brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “I think we both know

this is the right thing to do. I tried to pretend and so did you.”

“But…”

“You don’t want to be with me, Jen. I’ve know that since

Sarah.”

Jennifer swallowed the lump in her throat.

“I just thought…” He looked away and snorted. “I thought I

could change it. You know the old cliché. ‘She just hasn’t met the

right guy yet.’ That may be the case, but the right guy isn’t me. You

know that as well as I do.”

“Eric, I…” She searched her mind, as well as her heart, for the

words to make everything all better, but she came up empty. Deep

down, she knew he was right. Despite the panic and the desperation

to hold onto the only life with which she was familiar, she knew he

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was right. The realization was both a relief and heartbreaking. A

sob worked its way up from her gut, bursting out around the hand

she’d clamped over her mouth. A flood of tears over which she had

absolutely no control followed it.

Eric closed his eyes, anguish filling his heart, and pulled Jenni-

fer to his chest, holding her as she cried. His own eyes filled with

tears, not for the first time since this mess had all begun. Jennifer

was his touchstone, his anchor in a world of tidal waves and whirl-

pools. Letting go of her was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his

life and he was terrified of being without her. Although he was con-

fident that they were making the right move, the pain wasn’t any

less excruciating.

He held her for a long time, until her sobs subsided into small

hiccups, then into silence. She stayed with her head on his chest,

knowing it was the last time she’d be there and reluctant to let the

feeling go. He kept his arm tight around her shoulders, also not

wanting to let go. She spoke quietly, not moving.

“I’d like to keep the lake house, if that’s all right with you.”

He took a deep breath and nodded. “Sure. I don’t see why not.

I’ll talk to Jake about it and get it put exclusively in your name;

your trust fund should take care of things.” He paused, then added

gently, “I’ll have him list the place in Pittsford. Is that okay?”

“Makes sense.”

She sat up, wiping at her eyes and nose with her hands and

inhaling deeply to collect herself. They sat quietly for a long while.

“This is kind of weird, huh?” Eric commented.

“That’s a good word for it.” She rocked her head back, stretch-

ing her stress-tightened neck muscles, then looked out onto the

water. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“I know. Me, neither.”

They were silent again.

“I should probably get going,” Eric said finally.

“Yeah, me too.”

“Will you be okay, Jen?”

The sincerity of the concern in his voice brought tears to her

eyes again. She nodded. “I think so.”

He cleared his throat as he stood, his eyes darting away from

her. “If…if she’s…what you want, then make it work, okay?” His

gaze landed on hers and riveted her to the spot. “Make it work.” He

pulled her into a fierce hug before she had a chance to say a thing in

response. Then, taking her head in his large hands, he placed a gen-

tle kiss on her forehead. “You take care of yourself, Jennifer. I’ll be

in touch.” With that, he walked quickly away before his emotions

got the better of him. Jennifer watched him all the way to the park-

ing lot, her feet still rooted to the ground. With a quick wave, he got

Thy Neighbor’s Wife 169

into his Mercedes and pulled hastily out onto the street.

Jennifer stared at the vehicle, knowing that the biggest part of

her life was driving away for good. She sat back down on the bench

and spent the next hour just staring out blankly at the water, silent

tears rolling steadily down her cheeks.

* * *

Alex arrived at Chili’s before Nikki and grabbed a small booth

by the window. She had been surprised by the phone call—an invi-

tation to lunch from her ex. Nikki had a doctor’s appointment that

morning and had decided to take the whole day off, give herself

some down time. She’d told Alex she wanted to thank her for her

help in making the break from Diane the month before and wished

to buy her lunch. Alex was flattered—and more than a bit taken off-

guard—so she accepted the invite.

She also looked at the lunch as a welcome distraction. Think-

ing about Jennifer and Eric was enough to make her stomach revolt

in terror. She was doing the best she could to give Jennifer time and

space, but it was incredibly difficult. She was still reeling from Jen-

nifer’s quick departure the night before and she couldn’t fight the

sick feeling that she’d get a call from Jennifer any time now, telling

her that she and Eric were going to give it another try. Thanks for

such a fun time, Alex. It was great. You were so entertaining. She

swallowed down the bile that rose in her throat; she could almost

hear Jennifer’s voice in her head, along with a bevy of I-told-you-

so’s from her friends.

She forced herself to focus on her surroundings and the won-

derful aromas hanging in the air—cheeses, spices, the scent of

freshly grilled vegetables. Sizzling assaulted her ears as a waitress

scurried by carrying a steaming tray of fajita makings.

Chili’s was in a great location for Alex to meet with her friends

who lived further into the city. The restaurant was in Victor, down

the road about half a mile from Eastview Mall and right off the

New York State Thruway. It was a good halfway point and the mar-

garitas were fantastic.

She ordered herself a Margarita Presidente and an order of tor-