Tiana (Starkis Family #3) (9 page)

“You’re asking me a question I can’t answer,” he said, slipping one hand in to his pocket as he punched the elevator button for the top floor with the other. “I don’t have another point of reference. But I can tell you it comes with its rewards and its punishments.”

I thought that was an interesting choice of words and wondered if he meant it literally. Before I could ask, we arrived at his floor and stepped off the private elevator toward a door that led to his suite, which occupied the entire floor of the high-rise building. I gravitated to the view, as I usually did when I stepped into his domain. Peace washed over me, and I remembered why I’d been drawn to this city after my world had fallen apart. It was so easy to get lost here. So many people, all with places to go, things to do. They didn’t care about me. I was invisible unless I was on a runway, and that was the way I wanted it.

Damon moved in behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. “I never tire of it either. The lights of the city at night always make me feel at home. I love the peace and quiet I feel when I’m in the village, but this is where my heart is.”

Speaking of his heart, I felt it pounding against my back, and that wasn’t the only thing I felt. His erection prodded me, reminding me he’d walked out on me when I would have begged him to stay. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t put him on the spot tonight, but I had to know before I allowed this to go any further. “Why did you leave the other day? You got that call, and you left so suddenly. Why?”

He sighed, pulling me closer. “Just some business I needed to attend to. Unfortunately, it couldn’t wait.”

“It must have been important if you couldn’t even make time for a quickie.” That was my not-so-subtle way of reminding him I was still interested in sex only—no strings attached.

“No way would I have been satisfied with that, Eleni.” He breathed in my scent like a man deprived of oxygen for too long. “I knew it would take hours, days, maybe even longer for us to get enough of each other.”

I was pleased he’d chosen words that let me know he understood the score. This was about two single, consenting adults finally acting on attraction. Nothing more.

“I don’t have anywhere to be now. You?” I’d never been shy about letting a man know I was interested, though, contrary to popular belief, I didn’t sleep around. I was selective about the men I took to bed, but once I decided I wanted someone, I didn’t see any point wasting time.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he said, turning me in his arms and capturing my face in his large hands. “I’m sorry I walked out on you the other day. That was a mistake.”

I shuddered. Damon’s accent was more pronounced sometimes, and this was one of those times. It reminded me of the life I’d left behind and the man I was trying to forget. “I don’t want to talk about that day. Or what will happen tomorrow.” I slowly unbuttoned his shirt and slipped my hands inside to caress his chiseled chest and rippled abs. “Let’s just focus on tonight. Right now. This moment.”

He moved away from the window, walking backward down the hall leading to the bedroom as he gripped my waist. “This is a first for me,” he admitted, his eyes darkening with need. “I’ve never wanted a woman this much or waited this long.”

I’d heard it all before. Men like Damon would say whatever they had to to get a woman into bed, to make her feel special and make the experience memorable. I wanted to tell him he didn’t have to work so hard, that I’d already consented, but that would have spoiled the mood, so I let him say what he felt I needed to hear.

“I’ve never been one to delay gratification either,” I said, pausing to step out of my heels. “But I hope this will be worth the wait.”

“I know it will be.” He stopped in the doorway of the master suite, his large body filling the doorframe. “This means something to me, Eleni.
You
mean something to me.”

Oh no
. I felt the breath leave my body in a whoosh I prayed he couldn’t hear. He’d taken me by surprise, his sincerity making me feel things I had no right to feel given my stance on men and relationships.

“Don’t look so scared,” he said, his index finger brushing my cheek.

He’d said the same thing downstairs, making me believe I was doing a poor job of maintaining the control that usually came so effortlessly. I was used to being in charge around men. I said when. They asked where. It worked for me. But Damon wasn’t the kind of man to defer to a woman, in or out of the bedroom, and it made me wonder what I was getting myself into.

Why him? He was antithesis of the men I usually dated. He was too sexy. Too rich. Too powerful. Too controlling. Too much of everything. It was overwhelming and terrifying, making me wonder if I would be smart to leave before I got in too deep.

“I can read your mind,” he said, his sexy, full lips tipping into a half-smile. “You’re thinking this may be a mistake. You’re wrong. Leaving now would be the mistake, one we would both regret.”

Damon

I knew I couldn’t let her leave. No matter what it took, I had to overcome her objections. I’d spent the days since I’d left Andra’s home drifting on my boat, trying to make sense of my life, and the one thing that had kept infiltrating my mind was Eleni. Her laugh, the sultry, raspy tone of her voice, the way she’d kissed me with abandon and pressed her body to mine when she wanted more than just a kiss.

I had to have this woman. I knew it was a risk, bringing her here, but I couldn’t summon the will to fight this attraction anymore. Whatever the risk, she was worth it.

“Don’t overthink this,” I whispered, telling her what I knew she needed to hear to banish her fears. I had my reasons for struggling against this, and I knew she had hers, but in the end, there was only one possible outcome. I believed she knew that as well as I did. “Just let it happen. Trust that it’s right, that we’re both here because it’s where we’re supposed to be.”

She’d once told me that she believed everything happened for a reason though she was still trying to make sense of some of the things that had happened to her. I wanted her to accept that a power stronger than either of us had brought us together. She could call it what she wanted—fate, destiny. It didn’t matter. It was simply meant to be. The universal powers had brought this woman to me because I needed her in my life, and I was tired of fighting it.

“This could be amazing if you let it.” I didn’t know how we would make this work. I was keeping a secret that could hurt her, but letting her walk away was no longer an option. We’d passed the point where either of us had a choice.

She flattened her palms against my shoulders, coaxing me through the open door. “You talk too much, Starkis.”

I recognized the shield she was erecting between us. I’d seen her do it before when I’d gotten too close to uncovering one of her secrets. But I didn’t want anything between us tonight. So I told her the truth, knowing it would shock her. “I’m falling for you, Eleni. I think I have been ever since I first laid eyes on you.”

She swallowed repeatedly, her eyes fixed on mine, but said nothing.

“It wasn’t just your beauty.” I moved closer, reaching for her zipper. I wanted her to be bared to me while I bared my soul to her. “It was your strong will. Your innate sex appeal. Your confidence. Maybe even your vulnerability.”

Her eyes rounded at the last word. I knew she worked hard to mask her vulnerability, but I saw it now, just as I knew she saw mine.

“It’s okay to be weak sometimes,” I whispered, gliding my lips over the slope of her shoulder as her dress hit the ground.

“No, it’s not.” Her voice faltered when my mouth grazed her neck before my tongue traced her collarbone.

I refused to rush this. I wasn’t having sex—I was making love. With the woman of my dreams. And I was determined to enjoy every second of it because I knew any moment with Eleni could be my last.

“Having the courage to reveal your weaknesses to another only makes you stronger.” I shed my shirt before holding her hand against my pounding heart. “You make me weak. You make me want things I’ve never wanted before.”

“Don’t say that.” She shook her head as she tried to pull her hand away. “Please. Don’t turn this into something it’s not.”

“I’m not.”

I kissed her gently, my tongue tracing her closed lips until she let me in. I swept my tongue inside her mouth as I held her face, refusing to allow her to retreat. This was bigger than both of us, and I had to make her realize it was pointless to hide from it any longer. When we finally broke apart, my hands rested on either side of her neck, my forehead pressed against hers as my breathing slowly returned to normal.

“I’m not trying to turn this into something it’s not. I’m trying to find the courage to face what it is. Will you do the same?”

Instead of responding, she reached for my belt buckle. She bit her lower lip, and I could tell she was fighting back tears as she lowered my pants and boxers.

“What are you so afraid of?” I demanded, trying to quash the urge to roar in frustration. I wanted her to let me in and hated that she was trying so hard to keep me out. “Tell me.”

When the silence stretched on so long I was convinced she wouldn’t respond, she said, “I’m afraid of getting lost. A man like you casts a big shadow, and I don’t want to get lost in it.”

I let her words sink in. There was hidden meaning there I couldn’t begin to dissect with my hands skimming her naked body. “I’ll never let you lose yourself in me.”
But I’d definitely like to lose myself in you.

My lips charted her body slowly, sensuously, as my hands drew her into a maze of longing that put her body and words at odds. I slid a finger inside her, kissing her neck as she melted into me, gripping my shoulders for support.

“I love everything about you, Eleni.” I pumped my fingers furiously, engrossed in watching her shed her inhibitions as she tipped her head back, her eyes glazed over while she breathed my name. “I would never want you to lose your spirit. It’s what makes you so irresistible to me. Don’t you see that?”

Instead of responding, she trembled, her body succumbing to the bliss of letting go. Watching her surrender to me, knowing I was responsible for her satisfaction, felt incredible. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted more. So much more. Dropping to my knees, I grasped her ankles and inched her legs apart.

“Damon… you don’t have to—”

“I want to,” I murmured, licking the inside of her thigh. “God, you have no idea how much I want this.” Ironically, she was completely bare, a sharp contrast to the layers of emotional protection she wore like a suit of armor. “I can make you feel things you’ve never felt before.” I blew on the sensitive bundle of nerves I intended to fixate on mercilessly until she pleaded for me to stop.

“Please…”

I didn’t know if she was begging me to stay or stop, and it didn’t matter. I was exactly where I needed to be. She was so sweet, so delicious, and I knew right then and there she was my elixir.

“Oh God…”

Her strained words were music to my ears. I aimed to tear her apart at the seams, to expose her for the sensitive, loving woman she’d been trying to hide all her life. I wanted her to know there was nothing she could say or do to make me want her any less. Time stood still, this moment frozen in time as she gave herself to me completely, showing me with her body what she was too cautious to say with words. She was falling for me too. I coaxed her over the edge, lapping at her insistently, refusing to allow her to cut my exploration short, though I’d already achieved my goal of making her beg for mercy. Her entire body was trembling by the time I pulled her into my arms and held her tight.

“You okay?” I asked, chuckling as she sank into me as though her legs couldn’t support her weight another second.

“No, no, I’m not okay,” she said, her lips pressing into my chest. “I think I just had an out-of-body experience.”

Poor girl.
She had no idea I had yet to launch her into the sexual stratosphere. Months of biding my time and waiting for this moment meant I’d had countless hours to imagine all the things I wanted to do to her, and I’d barely scratched the surface with a little oral play.

“Come here,” I said, guiding her to the king-sized bed in the middle of the room. “Just relax.” I stood at the foot of the bed, watching with a smile as she curled into the plush duvet like a contented cat. “I didn’t tell you to get so comfortable you fall asleep.”

“No fear of that,” she said, stretching her arms over her head and thrusting her breasts out to taunt me. “I’m not close to being done with you yet, Starkis. Now get over here.”

I groaned as I set a knee between her legs, forcing them open as I crawled on top of her. “Is this where you want me?” I prodded her entrance with my hard length. “Right… about… here?” It would have been so easy to slip inside her, to live out my fantasy of being with her skin-to-skin, but I knew that was a risk neither of us was ready to take.

“Condoms?” she asked, threading her hands through my cropped hair.

“In the nightstand,” I said, inclining my head in that direction. “Would you like to do the honors, or shall I?”

“I got this,” she said, grinning.

I’d turned on a dim light when we’d walked into the room, and I was glad I had. I didn’t want to miss a second of this. Seeing the look on her beautiful face the first time I thrust inside her was a moment I’d been looking forward to for a long time, one I intended to commit to memory.

She wasted no time rolling on the condom, reminding me that she was no novice. Instead of dwelling on her other lovers, I planned to make her forget their names. She was mine now, whether she realized it or not, and as soon as I reached a compromise with Andra, I intended to focus all of my attention on making Eleni realize she would never find another man who could satisfy her the way I could.

I made love to her with my mouth as our bodies became one, and I was struck by a feeling of completeness I’d never experienced. She was grasping me in her tight heat, destroying me with her kisses, her arms and legs enveloping me, but instead of feeling confined, I felt free. Free to be the man she needed, free to be the lover she deserved, free to be me for the first time in my life.