Tidal (22 page)

“Is that something you really want to

do?” I whispered. His gaze washed over

every visible inch of me, starting at the top

of my head, and I tugged my bathing suit

top down to cover the patch of stomach

that was exposed.

“The question is, is that what you

really want?” he asked.

“I just want to know if it’s bothering

you to be around me after what

happened,” I said all in one breath. When

his eyebrows furrowed together, I

squeezed my eyed shut. “Don’t make me

say it out loud.”

“If you want me to answer the damn

question, you will.”

My eyes flew open and narrowed into

a glare. “I’ve got a history, Cooper, and

it’s scary when my—” I struggled to find

the right word to describe what he was to

me at this point and finally heaved a sigh.

“I’m scared that you’re drawn to me

because you feel bad for me.”

His expression changed to something

unreadable and he pointed down at my

board. “Let’s go back in before another

wave hits.”

Clenching my teeth, I stretched out on

my board and began paddling back to the

shore, my arms and legs tingling the entire

time. The moment both our feet hit dry

land, though, Cooper gave me a dark look.

“Get rid of your bodyguard for a little

while. We need to talk.” When I didn’t

budge, he pulled in a deep breath through

his nose, crossing his suntanned arms over

his chest. “I’ll call you out at Dickson’s

party, Wills, if you don’t hear me out.”

I was seething when I stalked over to

Miller, who was patiently waiting for me

on a beach towel, but I coaxed a smile

onto my face. “I’m going inside with

Cooper to talk for a few minutes.” He

lifted an eyebrow and I forced a laugh.

“About surfing and movie stuff. Can you—

I don’t know—hang out in the shop with

Eric and Paige?”

Even though he never dropped the

concerned expression, Miller muttered,

“Sure, Willow.”

When we stepped into Cooper’s

house, Miller disappeared into the shop

where Eric and Paige were signing up two

new students—twins from the look of it.

Cooper wrapped his fingers around mine

and led me upstairs to his bedroom. As he

slammed the door behind us, part of me

expected him to put my back up against the

wall like he did the other night, but when I

saw the look in his eyes, I knew that

wasn’t going to happen.

Disappointment. Complete and utter

disappointment that made me crumple

against the wall all on my own.

“Let me make this clear,” he said. He

took a deep breath, squeezed the bridge of

his nose and turned around for a moment,

facing the king-sized bed. When he faced

me again, his shoulders were squared.

“Am I hell bent on protecting you? Yeah,

I’d rip someone apart to keep you safe.

Are you a pity fuck for me? Absolutely not

because I’ve wanted you more than

anything.”

“I’m fucked up, Cooper,” I said, and

when my voice hitched, he closed the

space between us, lifting my eyes until our

gazes were equal.

“We’ll fix you.”

He took both my hands into his and

drew me across the room. Sitting on the

edge of his bed, he pulled me onto him so

that I straddled him. We were both still

wet from being in the sea, and his

bedspreads dampened beneath our

bodies.

“And I’m insecure,” I whispered. He

touched the side of my face with the tip of

his index finger, tracing up the curve of my

cheek.

He massaged the area behind my ear,

skimming his fingertips along the tattoo,

making the skin there—and where my scar

was—burn with the memory. “We’ll fix

that too.”

“I’m selfish, too,” I said at last.

“God, Wills, so am I.”

***

other than my need to be across the room

from Cooper. Every time our eyes

connected, and it happened more than it

should have, he gave me that deep-

dimpled smile that made my knees feel

weak and my heart twist painfully in my

chest.

Later that night, after I’d returned to

my rental house and lay alone in the dark

staring at the moonlight through partially

opened blinds, listening to Ellie Goulding

on my laptop, I decided that I wouldn’t

think about what would happen after the

summer went away, when I was done with

this movie.

I only wanted the here and now with

Cooper.

I left for work the next morning

repeating that thought in my head as Miller

drove me to my filming location. Once we

arrived, I felt myself being slowly

immersed into my old life. The life of

someone that I couldn’t be anymore.

I tried my best to shake away the panic

slowly shooting through my veins.

“I can do this,” I whispered over and

over again, as a makeup artist fussed over

me.

“Can you hold your lips still, honey?”

the artist asked, blowing a stray lock of

her asymmetrical blonde bob out of her

eye. I nodded slowly, coming to terms

with the fact that I would hear things like

that often over the next month or two.

I spent the next hour in hair and

makeup, getting M.A.C. caked onto my

face so I would look natural on camera

and then another hour arguing with the

costume designer about the string bikini I

refused to wear. The moment I stepped out

of my trailer dressed in the costume we’d

finally decided on—a tiny pair of

hibiscus-print board shorts and a tight,

high-necked Quicksilver rashguard—I felt

a weight drive itself down on my chest.

Justin, my leading man, only made that

feeling worse when I ran into him at a

refreshment table.

He tossed an apple into the air before

taking a bite out of it, and I rolled my

eyes. “We’re on Yahoo’s entertainment

page today,” he said.

“Let me guess—WilTin?” I asked,

grabbing a bottle of water and a donut. He

laughed.

“Close, Jillow.”

I made a disgusted face. “It sounds

like a cross between Jell-O and bodily

fluid,” I said, and before he could get a

word in, I added sweetly, “With you being

the bodily fluid.”

He scratched the tip of his lightly

freckled nose and cocked his head to one

side, squinting at me. “Damn, so I don’t

have a chance.”

“Not at all.”

He sighed then shrugged. “Can’t blame

me for trying. There’s always the girl who

plays—”

But I’d already tuned him out, focusing

my attention instead on Dickson who was

coming toward the refreshment table. He

clapped his hands together, grinning.

“Ready to remake magic?”

I’d almost forgotten that he’d worked

as the production manager on the first

film. I shoved away the fear of failure that

churned in the pit of my belly and bobbed

my head. My hair, which had been styled

to look careless, ruffled in the stifling late

morning breeze. “I’m ready if Justin is.”

“Let’s make a movie then,” Dickson

said cheerfully. He apparently hadn’t

noticed the way my voice had faltered,

and if he did, he didn’t say anything about

it.

I spent the morning working on a love

scene with Justin on the beach. I was

numb to the kisses and touching, the way

his long hair scratched my face, and found

that I was more focused on trying not to

develop a lazy eye from all the cameras—

of the studio variety—flashing in my face

for the sake of promotional stills.

Justin, on the other hand, loved it,

especially when I had to lie flat on my

back on top of a surfboard to finish up a

make-out scene. As he pinned my arms

over my head, I waited for him to make

some wise ass remark, but he only spoke

his lines.

“I can’t live without you, Alyssa,” he

whispered, his hazel eyes reflecting the

emotion of the scene. Then he swooped in

to kiss me as an actor, and I did my best to

respond to him, to act oblivious to the

giant ass cameras recording us at just

about every angle.

A moment later, the scene was called

and Justin climbed off of me. He winked

before disappearing in search of one of

the extras he’d been talking to earlier.

When the crew took a break for lunch,

Miller escorted me back to my trailer. He

peeked in first and then nodded, giving me

the go ahead to step inside. “I missed an

important call,” he explained to me,

holding up his phone. “You need me I’ll

be right out here.”

“I’ll let you know,” I said, closing the

door. I was in the middle of letting out an

exhausted yawn when a voice with a

distinctive Australian accent spoke up.

“He didn’t check very well.” I gasped

as Cooper’s hands slipped over my eyes.

My body automatically moved against his,

and I shivered when his warm breath

fanned my ear. “First illegal bonfires and

now breaking into my girl’s trailer. I’m all

sorts of bad,” he teased.

His girl.

I was his girl.

I licked my mouth, attempting to get

rid of the sudden dryness at hearing him

say that. “You said you had a lesson,” I

whispered hoarsely, slowly turning

around to face him. “At least that’s what I

think you told me this morning.”

God, he looked so good with his hair

all messy and his face still a little red

from surfing and I just wanted to—

“I’m here
because
of this morning,” he

said, his expression tense. He’d showed

up to my door at 4am, grabbing me to him

without saying a single word, and had

picked me up, taking me to the back of my

tiny rental. He’d used his mouth on me for

ten agonizing minutes, pulling away each

time I came close to release.

“Please,” I’d finally panted, struggling

up on my elbows to meet his hot gaze.

He’d nipped the inside of my thigh,

shaking his head, and I’d groaned.

“Please?” I’d said once more, just for

him to shake his head again. Then I

raveled my hands into his blonde hair,

jerking up on it. “Cooper—”

A moment later, he’d climbed up

drawing my tongue into his mouth and

using his fingers to finish getting me off.

When I’d tried to pull down the swim

trunks he’d been wearing, he stopped me,

catching my hands around his waistband.

“I want an IOU,” he’d said right

before he kissed me one last time,

dizzying me up so that I couldn’t return to

sleep.

Reluctantly, I shook my head to bring

my thoughts back to the present, to where

he had me lodged between the mini fridge

and the kitchenette table. “You broke into

my trailer for an IOU?” I squeaked, and he

guided my hand between us, wrapping my

fingers around him through his cargo

shorts. I squeezed hard, causing him to

shudder.

He groaned against the column of my

throat. “I broke into your trailer because I

wanted to be with you.”

I took a couple steps back, until the

backs of my thighs rested against the top

of the table, and gazed up into his blue

eyes. “We’ve got a surf lesson tonight,” I

whispered. He crooked a smile, and

snarled his fingertips underneath my

Quicksilver shirt, starting to pull it up.

My head swam, but I was conscious

enough to grab both of his hands, stilling

them by my side. “I can’t,” I said. I wasn’t

ready to let him see me completely naked

in the light just yet, if I ever would.

“Wills—”

The door to my trailer shook and he

drew away from me, groaning

dramatically. I straightened my clothes

and slid past him, my ass brushing up

against his crotch, to open it just enough to

see who was there. One of the assistants

stood on the bottom step, grinning up at

me.

“We’re ready for you again, Miss

Avery,” he said.

The fact that Miller was a foot away

looking like a beast with his arms folded

over his muscular chest didn’t seem to

affect this guy in the least.

“Give me a few,” I said, closing the

door as he opened his mouth to say

something else. I turned back to Cooper

who was suppressing a grin. “What?” I

asked, through clenched teeth.

“Miss Avery.”

“I’ve got to get to work.”

He stared at me for a long time before

dipping his gaze to the carpeted floor for a

moment. “Seeing you like this just—” I

covered his lips before he could say

something that would get me any more

worked up than I already was. He dragged

his teeth gently across my bottom lip

before forcing himself to break away from

me. Breathing heavily, he shook his head.