Ties That Bind (29 page)

Again, his hand flexed on her. He nodded his head to the chair by the window. “That helped. Do you remember?”

“Yes.”

“Do you regret it?”

She squeezed his hand. “No.”

“Will you make love with me, now? Not a mercy fuck, but real just-you-and-me lovemaking.”

Without hesitation, she said, “Yes, Reese. I will.”

Her consent pushed away the sadness. He knew it wouldn’t last, that he’d fall back into the black abyss, but he’d allow himself this respite. “Give me a second.” He rose, went to the bathroom, and retrieved a condom from his shaving kit. When he returned, she smiled up at him. He smiled back and sat on the mattress.

Slowly he undid the top button of her pajamas. “Let’s pretend.”

“Pretend what?”

Two buttons. “That we’re still married. We’re in our bedroom at the farmhouse. Sofie’s asleep down the hall.” Leaning over, he kissed the flesh he’d bared.

When he drew back, her eyes were filled with tears. “Sometimes, I want that so much I ache.”

Another button. “Me too, love.”

“All right. For a few hours, we’ll have it back.”

The shirt undone, he drew it apart. She lifted off the bed so he could remove it and surprised him by raising her arms so she could grasp the headboard. Her breasts were full and feminine. She had some tiny lines on them from childbirth and breast-feeding, but he couldn’t see them in the dim light. Her nipples beckoned. He lowered his head and took one in his mouth. Caressed it with his tongue. Scraped it with his teeth. Suckled.

She squirmed on the bed and her fingers tightened on the wooden slats. “Ah, Reese.”

“So sensitive there,” he said as he transferred his mouth to the other breast. “Still.”

His hand slid to the waist of the pj’s. He worked them down her hips like he’d been doing this every night for the last five years. She angled her hips to help him along. He drew back and eased off the bottoms.

And there she was, bared to him in all her loveliness.

He relearned her curves, and found that he hadn’t forgotten much. The soft slope of her shoulder. The indentation at her waist. The little roundness of her belly.

Her thighs and calves were firmer than before. He traced each muscle. “So beautiful, so taut,” he said as he kissed her foot.

He watched her as he kneaded her instep.

She closed her eyes to savor the sensation. “Mmm…”

He leaned over and kissed the triangle of curls between her thighs. “Oh, yeah, mmm.”

Her hands came down from the headboard and entwined in his hair. “Reese, I love this…I love how you touch me.”

“I love how you smell.” He nuzzled her dark curls. “Everywhere.” After long moments, he lifted his head. His hand replaced his mouth, and he rubbed his palm against her. She groaned. “You like?” he asked.

“Oh, God.”

He felt his own body heat at her arousal. It always happened this way. Her desire fueled his own. His skin itched, and his muscles rippled. He parted her legs for better access and slipped a finger inside her. She lurched. His other hand gentled her shoulder. “Shh. Just feel.”

She came on one long rising crest of emotion. And when she did, she called out his name. It was the absolute best sound in the world.

o0o

KATE LOOKED up at Reese, who was poised over her. His first thrust into her was hard and complete. He filled her fully. She’d forgotten how perfectly matched they were. Still humming from her orgasm, a rush of renewed stimulation shot through her. She groaned. Bracing his arms on either side of her, he grinned. “That’s music to my ears, love.”

He moved slowly at first. Her insides clenched around him. A bit faster, and she felt the muscles of his shoulders tighten. He swelled inside her, wonderfully. He pushed harder. His hands went to her shoulders, and he seemed to sink into her, wanting the closeness, the total possession.

“Katie, you make me…Arrgh…”

“Reese.”

He withdrew, then plunged, then withdrew again.

At the third powerful thrust, her mind blanked and pleasure exploded inside her. She screamed his name. His release came on the heels of that. As if in pain, he moaned, called out for her, and let go.

The next thing she was aware of was the weight of him, heavy on her chest and thighs. He didn’t move though, and she was able to raise her hands and smooth them down his back. He buried his face in her neck. After a few moments, he rolled to the side, carefully taking her with him, so they were still joined. They’d perfected that little twist and turn over the years, because they didn’t want to be separated after such cataclysmic joining.

They waited until their breathing evened out before speaking.

“I guess we still got it, Katie.”

She chuckled. “Damn right we do, hotshot.” She nestled further into his chest.

“I can’t believe how much of this I still remember. After five years.”

“Shh. It was just yesterday, remember. We’re in our bed in the farmhouse.”

“Ah, yes.”

She didn’t want to face reality yet.

He held her close. She inhaled his scent, musky and male, tinted with the sex they just shared. It was that—his smell and the familiarity of it—which made her admit some things. One thing, really. That she still loved him.

“We need some more sleep,” he said, his voice hoarse. “To deal with tomorrow.”

“We do.”

He tipped her chin. “Look at me.”

She did.

“I love you, Katie,” he said simply. “I never stopped.”

“I love you, too, Reese. No matter what’s happened, I never stopped, either.”

His grin was so poignant, so tender. “That’s all I need right now.” He tugged her back to his chest.

They lay that way until their breathing slowed. Kate’s eyes closed while she was still in the dream world of yesterday. It felt good and right and exactly what they needed now.

o0o

THE BLACKNESS OF loss descended on them the minute Kate and Reese awoke. Thank God they were both covered because Jimmy and Jason, clothed in Spider-Man pajamas, were standing by the bed. And crying.

“I want my mommy,” Jimmy wailed.

“Uncle Reese.”

The kids climbed onto the bed, and Kate and Reese cuddled them.

Reese looked over at her. “It’s real,” he said.

“I’m so sorry.”

The boys finally calmed and Reese managed to slip out of bed, get his robe and, hand-in-hand, the three of them left the bedroom; she heard them traipse downstairs. Kate took in a deep breath, and let the grief swamp her. Emily. Poor Emily.

And Reese. Oh, Lord. What she was feeling? No guilt, surprisingly. It was like she had made love with her husband. Flinging off the covers, she got out of bed, strode to Emily’s room, found a robe and slippers and, after using the bathroom, went downstairs to join them in the kitchen. The boys were eating Cheerios, and the smell of strong coffee filled the sunny room. Reese was sipping from a mug, once again looking haggard and devastated. When he saw her, his expression lightened, and she wondered how she’d ever feel guilty about what happened last night, if it helped him through this tragic time. He poured her coffee, and when she crossed to him to get it, he kissed her briefly on the lips.

“Second thoughts?” he asked somberly.

She shook her head, holding his gaze. “I don’t know what all of it means, but no, no second thoughts.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

The doorbell rang before she could say more. After exchanging a questioning look, Reese went to answer it. Kate sat down with the boys, but they didn’t say anything, just ate morosely.

Nat and Merle Gates preceded Reese into the kitchen. When she caught sight of Reese’s face, he was scowling.

Nat rushed to the table. “There they are. My poor little boys.” She tried to hug Jimmy, but he pulled away. Jason rose immediately from his chair and launched himself at Reese. Taking his cue, Jimmy threw back his chair, and Kate had just enough time to pull away from the table before the little boy tumbled into her lap.

Merle said sternly, “Boys, come to your grandparents.”

Neither child would even look up.

Reese said softly, “They’re overwrought, Merle. Give them some time.”

“Best they get used to us and not you two.” This from Nat, who looked affronted.

“Can we talk about this later?” Kate asked.

“No,” Merle said. “We’ll talk about it now, before the boys get any mistaken impression.” He took some papers out of his pocket.

Reese interrupted him. “Jase, Jim, how about watching a few cartoons while the grown-ups talk?”

Once the boys were tucked away in the living room, and Reese returned, Merle held out his papers. “This is Charlie’s will. He names us as legal guardians if something happened to him. “

Reese looked utterly weary. Kate straightened. “Mr. Gates, in the event of one parent’s death, the other parent automatically becomes the legal guardian. She, and only she, then makes decisions on the child’s future, if nothing contrary to that was specified in the divorce agreement.”

Reese put in, “Emily left me full custody.”

“Well, we’ll see about that.”

“I think you’d better leave my sister’s house now. This isn’t helping anybody.”

Both older people were startled. “I don’t get it,” Nat said. “You can’t provide a two-parent home for them. You don’t live together anymore.” He scowled as she studied their attire. “Or am I mistaken?”

“It doesn’t matter if we live together or not,” Kate explained. “The terms of Emily’s will, which I can assure you does take precedence over Charlie’s, names Reese as legal guardian. And, of course, I live in the same town and will help out.”

“You’re a criminal lawyer,” Merle pointed out. “She’s a judge. You don’t have time for the boys. We’re retired. We do.”

“We’ll make time.”

“You sent your own daughter to boarding school. We won’t have the boys live like that.”

“They won’t.” He looked to Kate. For assurance.

“Of course they won’t,” she said. “We’ll work something out.”

“Well.” Nat stood. “I still don’t like this.”

Merle added, “We’ll talk to the lawyer again, Nattie.”

Kate blew out a heavy breath. “Nat, Merle. Can’t you just let this go at least until the next few days are over with? We’re all beside ourselves with grief.”

They exchanged looks. “Maybe. We’ll leave now, I guess. But don’t think this is over.” With that they swept out of the room.

Kate shook her head. “What next?”

Reese swallowed hard. “Sofie.” He drew in a breath. “I wish I could come with you. But I don’t want to leave Pa or the boys.”

“I can do it myself.”

“You’re so strong, Kate. I’d forgotten.”

“So are you. Don’t forget that.”

“Not as long as you’re here to remind me.”

“I’m here.” For now, at least. But she didn’t say that to Reese. Instead, she reached across the table and took his hand.

o0o

SOFIE WAS ABOUT to take a toke from Jax when a loud knock sounded on the door of her dorm room.

“Don’t answer it,” Jax whispered, from the floor beside the bed.

She frowned, but nodded. Whoever it was could go away.

“Sofie.”

She recognized the voice right away. Her mother.

“I know you’re in there. I heard you. And your friend Allison said you weren’t feeling well.”

Jax shook his head.

But Sofie stood and smoothed down the denim capris she wore with a T-shirt. “Put it out.” She waited till he butted the joint and stuffed it in his pocket. If her mother was here, something was wrong.

She whipped open the door. Her mother stood in the entryway, wearing simple jeans and a red top. Her hair was in a ponytail and her face. Oh, no, she had that horrible look she got when something bad happened like the divorce, her friend Jillian’s breast cancer, when Aunt Patty had had a really bad car accident. “What happened?”

Reaching out, Kate smoothed down Sofie’s hair. “Oh, honey.” She stepped inside before Sofie could stop her. Ever alert, the judge took in her surroundings, studied Jax. Then sniffed the unmistakable odor of weed.

Sofie waited for her mother to blow. Instead, she bit her lip. “Jax, could you leave us alone for a minute?”

He looked to Sofie.

“Go.”

“Sure, whatever.” Rolling to his feet, he leaned over, kissed Sofie on the cheek, said, “Catch you later,” and was gone.

Her mother closed the door and leaned against it.

“Why aren’t you mad?”

“I am.” She swallowed hard. “But something else takes precedence.”

When she took Sofie’s hand and sat down on the bed, Sofie panicked with a sudden horrible thought. “It’s Daddy, isn’t it? Something’s happened to him.”

“Daddy’s fine physically. But Aunt Emily…Oh, baby, she died in a car accident yesterday.”

“What?” Sofie couldn’t take it in. “What? Oh, no.” She clapped her hand over her mouth.

Her mother tugged her close. “I’m sorry, sweetie, it’s awful.”

“Oh, no, Mama.” She buried her face in her mother’s breast, like she used to when she was little. And she let herself cry. Like she hadn’t cried since that night her parents told her about the divorce.

“It’s okay, baby, get it out.”

Her mother held her a long time. Sofie drew back finally. Wiped her face. “Daddy must be devastated.”

“He is.”

Sofie clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh, no, Jimmy and Jason.”

“Pretty much everybody’s leveled.”

She stared at her mother. “You seem pretty cool.”

Her mom looked like she’d slapped her. “I’m desolate, Sof. But I’m keeping it together for your dad and the boys.”

“I’m sorry. I know that’s the right thing to do.” She raised her chin. “I will, too. I promise.”

“Good.” Her mother stood. “You need to pack some clothes. Nice ones, okay? You’ll be gone until at least Tuesday.”

“All right.” She just sat there.

“Sofie?”

Tears clouded her eyes. “Will you help me, Mama?”

“Of course. I’ll help you with this, with anything.” She nodded to the floor. “We’ll talk about all that later. But don’t tell you father, please. He has enough to deal with.”

Sofie felt like a shit. Still she said, “Okay, I won’t. And thanks for coming to get me.”