Authors: Cindy Woodsmall
“Ya, sure.” She headed for the desk in the living room.
“And do note,” Quill hollered after her, “that I said
pen
and not
pencil.
”
He was harassing her over her old lead-breaking habits? It would be enough if they could get through the next few hours without anger or resentment. But was it possible that the man who'd caused her so much turmoil and heartache would be able to devise a plan to earn the down payment for the café?
T
he alarm on Quill's cell phone vibrated, waking him from a deep sleep. He shifted against the old recliner, causing it to moan as he reached into his pocket to turn off the alarm.
As consciousness began to flow to him, he could sense the good feelings last night had stirred. Usually the weight of reality began settling over him as soon as he awoke. How long had it been since he'd enjoyed a few hours like that? Instilling a little hope in Ariana as well as jesting and sharing a few laughs made the unspoken depravities of life bearable for a while.
Unlike him, Ariana didn't know about moral corruption or families having to survive the unthinkable. She knew only loyalty and love, and he'd go to his grave before he'd put on her the knowledge that was a part of him. No one could unknow something, so the key was to stop Ariana from learning it.
It was odd how light his shoulders felt this morning. Opening his eyes, he saw a silver glow of moonlight streaming inside. The outline of his mother's body under the white sheet moved at a slow, rhythmic pace. She was sleeping peacefully. The last few blood-pressure readings indicated normalcy had returned.
The sounds of crickets and night creatures chirping loudly floated through the open window. Maybe it would be a good day. Last night he and Ari had made a list of things she could do to earn money, but he hoped she would follow through on one specific plan he'd shared. The Amish held benefits when one of their own or an Englisch family needed help. Benefits were reserved for needy families who'd hit really bad times, ones who would lose their home or be unable to get medical help. But he wanted Ariana to pursue having one for the purpose of earning the down payment. She'd been reluctant to take his advice about this, and for good reasons. She would meet with some opposition, but if she would follow through on that plan, she would be able to buy the café. He knew that without any doubt, because if she did as he said, he would be able to give the needed money anonymouslyâif he had to sell everything he owned and live in his car to do it.
He eased the lever of the recliner forward, lowering the footrest as quietly as possible. In thirty minutes he had a meeting, and it wouldn't be daylight for another hour. Only the Amish would ask to meet at such a time. He dreaded this meeting as much as the one when Ariana's sister had reached out to him.
He didn't mind helping those who wished to leave, but sometimes it hit too close to home. Still, he couldn't refuse to assist people from his hometown. He slipped out of his mother's bedroom and went to the hallway bathroom. After brushing his teeth and washing his face, he moved through the dark house gathering his few belongings.
It was past time for him to leave Summer Grove, so he grabbed paper and pen to tell Ariana good-bye. It might be another five years before they saw each other again. He placed the pen against the paper several times, but he couldn't make himself write a note. Instead, he jotted down his cell number. Folding it, he walked into the living room.
The sight of her asleep on the couch made him smile, but for every ounce of pleasure he felt, he sensed the weight of the world returning. He had to go. There was no choice.
He sat on the coffee table next to her. “Ari.”
She stretched and shifted but didn't wake.
He touched her arm. “Ariana.”
She took in a sharp breath. “Quill?” Without opening her eyes she eased her hand over his.
“Bischt du allrecht?”
Was he all right? Her instinctive reaction was to care about his well-being. Would she feel any of that if she were wide awake? The moment crashed over him, reminding him of all he'd left behind, all he would never have. “Yeah, but I need to go.”
With her eyes still closed, she pulled the sheet to her chest, cuddling the wad while looking relaxed and peaceful. Did he ever have that kind of rest? Certainly not since learning the news that had killed his Daed.
“Now?” She rubbed her eyes and then finally opened them for a few seconds.
“Yeah. I just wanted to say bye. You can go back to sleep.” He put the folded paper in her hand. “If you need to reach me for anything, you call.” He'd had this cell number since leaving the Amish, but he'd shared it with only four others. She would be the fifth.
“Denki,” she mumbled. A moment later she was breathing deeply again, and he hoped she would remember that he woke her. It would take him months to shake all she had stirred in him since that rainy evening three weeks ago when she had stood at one end of the hallway and he at the other.
Had he been right to allow their friendship to be destroyed in order to protect her from all he knew?
The calm of night greeted him when he stepped outside, and he sensed God's peace assuring him he'd done the right thing. He took a deep breath and tried to shake off what Ariana did to his spirit. White stars glistened against the black sky. The beauty was enough to make the world seem like a hopeful place, with pockets of faith and love. He hoped for Ariana's sake and her future children that would be enough. He unlocked the shed, opened the double-wide doors, backed out his car, and headed to the meeting place.
Of all the odd messages he'd received, the one that came through his mother from Isaac Brenneman took the cake. Was this going to be an intervention of some sort? Did he have the church leaders with him? Quill might not agree with people's decisions, but he believed in their right to choose, and he would pay the price to help his fellow Amish. They had a right to leave without months of virtual emotional and spiritual beatings. Since their education and their connections outside the Amish world were limited and their jobs were anchored in the Amish community, they needed the kind of help he provided to start fresh.
Maybe he shouldn't have hinted to Ariana about her sister wanting to leave, but apparently it had worked. When Ariana shared that her sister intended to remain Amish, it'd taken willpower to keep from whooping a victory yell for her. That was probably why some of the usual weight had been lifted from him.
He slowed, looking for the dirt road his mother assured him he could find. Funny, he'd forgotten there was a narrow dirt road near here. What else had he forgotten? He put his lights on bright and saw several deer feeding in the pasture. He spotted the entrance to an unmarked dirt road and turned onto it. This must belong to someone rather than being a state or county road. When he saw red reflectors gleaming out of nowhere, he turned off his headlights and pressed the brakes until he was going less than five miles an hour. He pulled in behind the carriage and turned off his car.
As he got out, he saw the silhouettes of a man and a woman walking toward him from across the field, coming from the creek bank. Was that Isaac and Lovina? It had to be. He'd expected to see Isaac with a group of church leaders, not his wife. Whatever was going on, this was no setup.
Quill leaned against his car and folded his arms, waiting for them. Sometimes in the busyness of life, he forgot how much he liked good Amish people such as the Brennemans. Standing here under the starry sky, he realized that the chaos surrounding his inevitable leaving had erased more than his future. It'd also erased some of the wonderful memories of his upbringing.
“Quill,”âIsaac nodded, speaking to him as he helped Lovina navigate the small embankment from the pasture to the dirt roadâ“we appreciate you coming out to meet us.”
His voice was restrained and gentle, a trait few Englisch showed during meetings like this.
“Isaac, what can I do for you?”
Isaac said nothing else until he and his wife were standing on the dirt road. “We don't want to be here, and we don't want to need your help.”
They needed help? His help? Was this about Quill agreeing to assist a member of their family in leaving? He couldn't ask.
“What do you need?”
Lovina wouldn't even look his way as she stood by her husband's side, holding his hand. Neither of Ariana's parents said a word for the next few minutes. Quill tried not to rush people because they often needed time to form their thoughts, to allow their brains to catch up with their hearts.
Lovina touched the top of his car, running her fingers across it. “We learned⦔ She looked heavenward, and the silvery glow of moonlight was enough to reveal the desperation and fear on her face.
Perhaps it was time he made this a little easier on them. “Can you tell me the subject you need my help with?”
Using the layer of dew that had fallen, Lovina made squiggles on the top of his car. “Ariana.” She spoke barely above a whisper.
“Ari?” Had he heard her right? The mention of her name, especially under this circumstance, had his heart pounding with concern.
“We're here because we need absolute confidentiality,” Isaac said. “Can you promise us that?”
“Yeah, absolutely. What's going on?”
“Remember the story about the birthing center burning down the night Ariana and Abram were born?” Isaac asked.
“All of Summer Grove knows that story better than the events surrounding their own births.”
Lovina pressed her damp fingers into the palm of her dry hand and rubbed them together. “None of us knew the story quite as well as we thought.”
The weight that had eased settled over him anew. “What do you mean?”
There was another long silence, a sure sign the information was dreadfully heavy.
Isaac sighed. “We have reason to believe the two girls born that night, the Amish baby and the Englisch one, were switched.”
What? The news was too much. Quill jerked open the car door and plopped onto the seat. Even with his backside planted firmly and his feet on the gravel road, he felt as if he were spiraling round and round. While he took deep breaths, waiting for the shock to wear off, Isaac and Lovina took turns sharing information they had clearly not come to grips with.
As surely as there was a God in heaven, there was no truth to this outrageous fear. Ariana loved her family and the Amish with all of who she was. It would rend her in two if this chaos was true.
“Iâ¦I thought you were here to convince me not to help anyâ¦family leave.”
“No.”
Quill rested his head in his hands. “That would be easier than this.”
“Almost anything would be easier,” Isaac snapped. “We can hardly maintain control of our emotions enough to be at home with the others. How are we supposed to act normal so our children don't ask questions?”
“Maybe we need to get away for a few days here and there, husband, especially on the weekend when everyone is there expecting us to be our usual selves or explain why we're not.” Lovina's voice was a mere whisper.
“It might help.” Isaac nodded.
“Let's not forget that we have some good news, Isaac. Ariana is sure she has Susie convinced to stay.”
Susie? Had Quill heard Lovina right? Ariana thought he was here to help Susie leave? This meeting was getting worse by the moment.
Isaac passed him a piece of paper. “This is the flierâ¦for what it's worth.”
It had more value than Isaac realized. Quill could use the information on the flier as a beginning point. It wouldn't take him long to piece together enough to have a few facts, and that information would let Isaac and Lovina know whether their fears had any validity.
Isaac slid his hands into his pants pockets. “The flier lists three girls with the last name Nash.”
Quill's heart palpitated and his head spun. He had to get a grip. “I don't think I can help you. If you're right, Ariana's world will be torn apart.” He had done that to her once, and he would not be a part of doing it again.
“I thought you were all about seeking those things,” Isaac said. “The truth at all costs. Freedom, regardless of what it takes to attain it. Isn't that what the rumors say about you?”
“Ya, but this is different. Way different. When I left, my goal, despite how poorly I've carried it out, was to protect Ariana and all the innocent Amish like her.” There were plenty of men and women like her, faithful Amish souls who embraced the Old Ways from a young age just as fully as they embraced God's Word. “And what you're talking about has nothing to do with giving her freedom or protecting her. If this is true, I can't be a part of it.”